Owning Regina: Diary of my unxpected passion for another woman (8 page)

ME

Great. So in the same spirit of honesty and not playing games, I will tell you that I am crazy in love with you. I know it doesn’t seem possible yet, but this has never happened to me!

REGINA

I feel the same way.

I can’t wait until yoga to see you.

ME

I got an idea. I have to location scout tomorrow for a couple hours. I was going to go in the morning, but if you like, I can go at 4pm and take you and Tucker along.

REGINA

Really? You wouldn’t mind if Tucker came?

ME

Normally, it is super bad to have kids meet all the various dates that a girl has. You’re supposed to wait until something is more solid so that the child isn’t jerked along with a string of new faces and drama. But this feels different. Am I high?

REGINA

No. It feels solid
. (Pause)
Let’s just be friends in front of Tucker. He will love you. I’ll tell him you are my new friend.

ME

Ok. The location scouting should be fun for him. We have to check out six giant stylized warehouses for a commercial shoot. They are all vacant. He can bring some roller blades or a little bike and have a blast in the big spaces!  There’s also one place that is on the 6th floor. We can throw paper airplanes off the overlook. I bet they will fly forever.

REGINA

It sounds like so much fun.

(Thoughtful pause)

I want to touch you.

ME

Me too. But that will have to wait. It will be more fun that way. Forbidden love!

REGINA

I wish I could see you right now!

ME

See you tomorrow at 4. I’ll pick you up.

Then there was a long
pause as neither of us wanted the call to end. Finally, I hear a gentle kiss sound come over the phone. Then it hung up. It was only an audio kiss, but it may as well have been a full, physical kiss on the lips. The way she delivered it, it was. I could feel it like she was right in front of me. I could taste it. I could feel her breath in the kiss.

A while later, I went online to buy a few items for our new game. Before I knew it, I had racked up $438!  But it wasn’t like I did this all the time. I even refrained from paying the expedited shipping charges.  When I was shopping, Regina’s face and body kept popping up in my head and I fantasized about playing our game again.  This was so fun! I never got excited like this with any guys ever!

--- WEDNESDAY MARCH 28 --- Inside her secret world

When I woke up, I felt alive! I was so excited to be seeing Regina. But I was also really looking forward to being with Tucker. See, it wasn't just that Tucker is a cool kid. It is that Regina would be letting me into her very personal world. It was a whole other half of her life. So now, instead of sharing half of who she is, it would be sharing all of her. It was a magnificent show of trust. It was saying, "Hey, the Meg girl is alright and I want to include her."  I'm within the secret walls.

That morning at work, I was surprisingly focused on my job. I got more done in a few hours then in most entire weeks. I had to fill up my mind so as not to drift into fantasies of Regina. Both my boss and Pete were amazed that I kept running into their offices in search of the next tasks.  But at lunchtime, I couldn't help myself.  I took time out to call Regina. Her voice sounded as comforting as a teacher’s voice should.

She mentioned that, unlike me, she was having a really difficult time concentrating in class. She was taking my call in the faculty kitchen. It must have been even harder when I remarked, "Can you believe how blue the sky is today?" And immediately, my adorable slave came under my control and whispered into the phone to avoid office ears, "Yes, Mistress?"  Then, in a measured tone, I told her, "I own you."  There was a slow response from Regina as she was trying to digest this before saying, "Yes, Mistress."  I continued with, "You are my object. My property. You will never disobey me." "Yes, Mistress," she solemnly whispered.  I continued, “As my property, I will take care of you and treat you with all the respect deserved of my most valued possession."

There was a long pause. Then, came something from her mouth that shocked me: "I love you, Mistress." This was completely jarring to me. I was flustered. I loved her too, but it all seemed so scary. Was she only in love with me in the game? Was she only in love with her mistress? I responded, "That was some kind of crazy day I had." Then I quickly hung up.

About a minute later, RING – RING! She called back. I answered as myself:

ME

Hello?

REGINA

(Clearly with a smile on her face)

Do you believe the nerve of some people?

ME

What do you mean?

REGINA

This really pushy person just called and rattled me!! So I gave her a piece of my mind and let her know exactly what I thought.

ME

(Not really sure who was in control of this call)

Glad you gave it back to her
. People like  her can really be annoying.

REGINA

Only if you let them.

ME

So are we still on at 4pm?

REGINA

Yep. I just wanted to vent a little.

ME

Thanks for sharing. It means a lot to me. See you at four.

At 4pm, I pulled up to Regina’s house on Potrero Hill. It was classic San Francisco architecture, tall and skinny. It looked cute, but simple. She hadn’t done much to the outside other than keeping it clean and nice. It looked like any of the homes on the same block, except for one difference; there was a thick bougainvillea encircling her garage entrance with little fuchsia buds that would eventually explode with color. If things go well with Regina and I still know her in June, that plant will be absolutely stunning. I want to be able to see that!

When I knocked at the door, she immediately greeted me with a warm “friend” hug. There was a certain air of formality.  Right behind Regina came Tucker. He was bright-eyed and seemed enthusiastic about my arrival. Little boys always seem to gravitate toward me. I gave him a big hug, which was a little bigger than Regina’s. I wanted him to like me. I wanted to try to win him over. I figured if I could win him over, Regina would like me even more.

To some, it may have seemed like I was trying too hard with Tucker. But he is really likable and I was sincerely interested in him. Who wouldn’t want to step off of the adult train to get in touch with their childlike sensibilities? I asked Tucker if I could see his room quickly before we went location scouting. Judging from her approving eye contact, Mom was having fun watching my interaction with Tucker.  He was eager to show me his room and quickly lead the way.

As I stepped across the threshold into Regina’s private world, I was taken by a feeling of warmth. Unlike the outside of the house, the inside was full of personality. It was charming.  She clearly had fabulous taste in décor.  It was cheery and homey, built on top of classic style. Stickley chairs graced the living room and there was a Ralph Lauren rustic feeling, accented by bold colored artwork and a sense of simple sophistication.  Everything matched Regina: poised, charming, smart, graceful, and fun. That was her.

There was also a baby grand piano, which doubled as a coffee table book display. Her book collection was very visual: fine art, architecture, a whole book of orchids, a Rolling Stone magazine book of backstage shots of the greatest musicians, and… a big fat book of Helmut Newton photographs.

Wow! Her dark side! My whole life, I wanted to live inside a Helmut Newton photo. I wanted to be in there so badly. Helmut Newton, for the non-aware, is the mainstream kinky black & white photographer who shot for Vogue magazine and the like. His photos always show stunning people in very staged poses that usually involve themes of S&M and bondage. Even though the photos are in black and white, his trademark is giving the skin a “bronze” sheen that looks hyper real. Every photo pulsates with sex. But it’s surprisingly mainstream.  I can never get enough!

As I followed Tucker down the hall toward his bedroom, it was apparent that Regina worshipped him.  Every square inch of the hallway was covered with Tucker’s artwork from school and pre-school. It is a rainbow of finger paintings, watercolors, mosaics, and paper cut-outs. It was a happy hallway.

We arrived in Tucker’s room. It looked pretty typical with Legos, toy cars, etc. There was a fishbowl on the dresser holding a single goldfish. “That’s Barkley,” Tucker said. “Hi Barkley,” I said sticking out my hand to the fish bowl as if trying to shake its hand. “Nice to meet you.”  Tucker and Regina chuckled. When I asked about the origin of the name, Regina replied, “He just made it up one day.”

Then I noticed something odd. “Where’s your bed?,” I wondered aloud. Tucker proudly responded, “I sleep with my mom.”  Regina quickly chimed in, “It has always been that way. But now that he is bigger, we are going to transition to having him sleep in here… with Barkley.”   Even though Tucker was nine, it didn’t seem weird to me that he slept with his mom, especially when considering the effects of a divorce.  They both seemed healthy and stable, so it really didn’t matter where he slept.  “Let’s hope she doesn’t snore like a hippo,” I quipped. They laughed. Then Regina tried to somehow reassure me by saying, “We are bringing his bed up from the garage this week.”

I really wanted to see Regina's bedroom, thinking I could glean more about her life. I wanted to know everything about her, to see her naked in her body and thought.  But she didn't offer to show me her room, and I didn’t feel comfortable asking to see it. I knew there would be more opportunities. She had already trusted me into her life so much my letting me be with her and Tucker while location scouting.

As we headed out to the car, Regina looked as adorable as ever! Some people can light up a room, she can light up a neighborhood.  She was casual in her jeans and maroon puffy short sleeve top. It had a scoop neckline and faint little butterfly printed pattern. No boots, of course (I didn't expect to see boots on her). Instead, she wore these cute espadrilles that tied around the ankle with a navy cotton strap. The overall feeling, when coupled with her personality, was cheeriness.  My kinky mind especially enjoyed the tie around the ankles. It was a wink of bondage.

And just so you know, I didn't dress like the Helmut Newton models. I just had on some salmon pants, a simple white blouse, a black cardigan, and some ballerina flats.

We drove around location scouting in San Francisco. It was more like driving around eye-flirting the whole damn time. I took any opportunity I could to make it fun for Tucker. I took a minor detour and went down the crookedest street in the world, Lombard Street, while pretending the car was out of control. He was laughing so hard!

Of course we had to make a stop by the Golden Gate Bridge to throw some paper airplanes off. It's didn't go so well, though, because they blew back onto the street.  So then we decided to spit over the railing and track how far we could watch it. We'll have to try again one day with paper planes when there is no wind.

Even inside the various warehouse locations, we had so much fun. There was a giant utility cart in one of them and we got it rolling really fast and jumped on. We were zipping along pretty good and laughing our heads off when the security guard busted us. True, it wasn't very professional of me to represent our company like that, but I figured they would never know.  I can't imagine an afternoon where Tucker could have had more fun. Regina was really enjoying herself, too. I could tell she liked the way I worked hard to make it fun for Tucker.

One time when Tucker went into the bathroom, we waited outside the door in this enormous space. The sun was low and huge shafts of light poured through the upper vent windows onto the floor next to us. I asked Regina to move over a bit to stand in the light so I could take her photo. She looked like she was in a Caravaggio painting. I snapped the photo. It was my first picture of her. I had captured an angel!!

Then we stood silently, arms folded, staring at each other. I could tell each of us wanted to talk about "the blue sky," but were not at liberty to do so because of Tucker's presence.  So we just stood there, each of us daydreaming a kinky dream. If I had to guess, I would say that she was pretty turned on… I mean, physically turned on. It wasn't just her mind. I think she was physically aroused by staring at me, her mistress. I dominated her with a stern look.