Owning Regina: Diary of my unxpected passion for another woman (9 page)

BOOK: Owning Regina: Diary of my unxpected passion for another woman
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When Tucker finally emerged from the bathroom, we were both slow to snap out of it.  But we did. Tucker never had a clue that we had been undressing each other. He had no clue that I had his mom over my knee and was spanking her slowly with a hair brush while she masturbated herself the whole time.

 

After the scouting trip, we figured it was best to not have dinner together. It was a school night and Regina wanted to start the nighttime routine with Tucker.  I completely understood. But still, I didn't want it to end.  I dropped them off and went away very satisfied with life. I have never felt such a connection to a human as I had with Regina. This was bigger than a friendship like, "Hey, check out that hot guy!"  This was about being on the same wavelength, meshing with another person.

 

--- THURSDAY MARCH 29 --- Sharing secrets

 

I’m writing this at the end of a very long day of developing my passion for Regina.

 

This morning I woke up to discover my ankles tied together with a belt. Then I got really aroused thinking about Regina. Here’s what happened.

 

Last night, Regina called me after Tucker had gone to bed. She wanted to thank me for such a lovely time. She said they both had the best time. So did I.  We talked for a while about our jobs, comparing notes.

 

We were both pretty happy at work. Regina has been teaching there a long time. To her, it was a job, not a career. That’s not to say she doesn’t adore her students and shower them with positive energy. But if she didn’t have to work there, she would be happier. For me, I guess it’s more than just a job. I see my work as a steppingstone to advance and ultimately become a commercial executive producer where the real money is.

 

Then the phone call turned deeper:

 

REGINA

How are you doing with all this?

 

ME

It feels really good.

 

REGINA

I'm glad you feel that way.

 

ME

And what about for you?

 

REGINA

It's exciti
ng. It feels like eating cotton candy.

 

ME

I know what you mean. Still, it makes me wonder if it is all fluff… not that I think it is… I'm just hoping that we will still feel this way next week.

 

REGINA

Me too. I still can't believe I'm romantically interested in a girl!

 

ME

You don't know the half of it. I was judging myself at first, but you're not just any girl. I could have never felt this way about any other woman.

 

REGINA

You're making me blush.

(Pause)

I think you should go look in the back seat of your car.

 

ME

What?

 

REGINA

You might want to check the back seat of your car for something.

 

ME

My car?  Now?

 

REGINA

Sure. I'll wait.

 

So I dashed down to the garage to check the back seat. Under a throw blanket was a long shoebox. Any girl would know what is in a box that long: Boots! I opened it. It was Regina's new brick red boots! I was happily confused as I raced back to the phone:

 

ME

What are you doing?

 

REGINA

I thought we should share them… I mean… if you like them.

 

ME

Like them? They're hot.

 

REGINA

That way we can always feel close. You can know that your sweaty feet are standing in the very shoes where my sweaty feet were… and vice versa.

 

ME

Who says my feet sweat?

 

REGINA

Figure of speech. Do you like the idea of sharing them?

 

ME

I'm putting them on right this second.

 

REGINA

I want to please you.

 

ME

You mean in the game?

 

REGINA

In general. I want to make you happy.

 

ME

There's something strong going on with us. So how to we share the boots?

 

REGINA

I don’t know. No rules.

 

ME

Ok. I’ll get them back to you at some point.

 

REGINA

Tell me a secret about you…  a secret that you have never uttered to anyone in the world… not even your therapist.

 

ME

(A little surprised)

You first.

 

REGINA

Me first?

(Pause)

Ok. This is real trust. I'll kill you if you ever tell anyone.

 

ME

Scouts' honor.

 

REGINA

Am I really doing this?  Ok. Here goes. Ever since I was a freshman in college, I have been addicted to "The Young and The Restless."

 

I'm so embarrassed
!!

 

ME

What? Millions of people watch that. So what?

 

REGINA

Yes, but I like to think of myself as wholesome, local and organic… a girl who shuns the nightly news and mainstream media. I watch a soap that is sponsored by the biggest, most detrimental companies of our society.  And I'm supporting that by watching their stupid show. One time, one of characters died and I literally found myself mourning for 3 days. I was heartbroken. Nobody knows I watch it. It's oxymoronic with my lifestyle.

 

ME

Wow. That is shocking.
You’re right. Soap operas are the antithesis of the way I perceive you.

 

REGINA

I know. I know.

 

ME

The soap operas are misogynistic.  All the characters are greed mongers… nobody is a millionaire, they are all friggin’ billionaires! They are the polar opposite of local and organic.

 

REGINA

(L
aughing)

I know! I feel stupid.

 

ME

But if you don’t buy the products, then you're not supporting them at all. You are merely enjoying the story. I can't believe you are embarrassed about watching that.

 

REGINA

It feels funny telling you. So what's yours?

 

ME

I can't tell you. It's not balanced. Yours was so minor that it almost doesn't qualify.

 

REGINA

Yours will probably seem just as minor to me.

 

ME

I can't believe we're doing this!

 

REGINA

Go on.

 

ME

(Big sigh)

A couple years after I hit puberty, I discovered that…

 

REGINA

What? You can say it.

 

ME

I found out that if I tied my angles together with a belt, my orgasms would be stronger. I loved the way it felt because it was harder to get my fingers in there and felt more awkward to make it all happen.

 

REGINA

And that's your big secret?

 

ME

Part of it.

 

REGINA

What else?

 

ME

After I finished, I liked to stay like that… all night. I found it really sexy and comforting that my ankles were strapped together at night. I would sleep like that.

 

Sometimes I would wake in the middle of the night, having forgotten that my ankles were tied. At first I would be startled, then quickly I’d start getting turned on again. Sometimes that would happen three times in one night!

 

REGINA

Now I'm getting turned on.

 

ME

But that's not the whole secret either.

 

REGINA

I'm still listening.

 

ME

Sometimes I still like to do it… to sleep like that.

 

REGINA

(Joking)

You must be some kind of freak!

 

ME

Have you ever done that?

 

REGINA

No.

 

ME

Well, what do you think?

 

REGINA

Do it tonight. Sleep like that!

 

ME

You think I should?

 

REGINA

Yes! It sounds sexy. I'd join you but I’ll have Tucker in the bed.

(Pause)

Wait? Does that mean you are submissive? Maybe you should actually be my slave since you like to be tied up?

 

ME

Do you have a dominant side?

 

REGINA

I don’t know. This is all so new to me. Articles about S&M in Cosmo and such have piqued my interest, but meeting you somehow brought all this stuff to the surface that I didn’t really know was so strong in me.

 

I remember reading “The Story of O” when I was about 17.   It’s the story of -

 

ME


a girl who consents to being sent away to a secret S&M society to serve as a slave. It’s a very sexy book!

 

REGINA

Right. At 17, I thought the concept was ultra sexy! But I also thought regular romance
novels were sexy too. I read all that stuff! But now, I feel what the “Story of O” was really about. It’s about embracing your shadow self.

 

ME

Right. So… does your shadow self have a dominant side too?

 

REGINA

I don’t know. No. I don’t think I do. That may change; but right now, I just want to be your yours. I want you to degrade me.

 

What about you? If you like having your ankles tied up, maybe you have a slave side too?

 

ME

Sexuality is complex. In my fantasies, I’m both dominant and submissive. Whatever
. Let’s just say I’m kinky, however you want to define it. I’ve never been as turned on as when I think about being mean to you… in our game.

 

REGINA

We need to play again.

 

ME

Yes.

 

REGINA

But for now, I need to go to bed… and I need you to tie your ankles together tonight.

 

ME

Is that an order?

 

REGINA

No, it’s a request from a loving friend.

 

ME

We have a fucked up relationship. Go watch your soap opera. Oh, and thanks for the boots!

 

REGINA

Goodnight.

 

W
e hung up. And I did it. I had her boots on. So when I awoke this morning and felt my ankles tied together in Regina’s high boots, I took a few minutes for myself (wink, wink!) before starting the usual morning routine.

 

The sun was casting its warmth across my bedspread and I could feel it all the way under the covers. In my mind, I transformed the heat of the sun into the gaze of Regina watching me. I could feel her eyes generating warmth onto me as she stared. She watched me get my hands into position, despite the fact that I couldn’t open my legs. As I began to caress myself, she crossed her legs and leaned back to take it all in. I rubbed deep. Then, as I was getting close, I saw her uncross her legs and put her hands between her own legs.  She looked as turned on as I was. She put on some Ray-Ban’s so I couldn’t see her eyes anymore. My breath and heart were racing, as were hers. We were both completely enthralled with the moment. At the same instant, we both burst out in ecstasy.  Passion was burning. Lava was coursing though my veins. I felt alive!

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