Owning Regina: Diary of my unxpected passion for another woman (27 page)

The thing is, Regina seemed to have drifted into slave mode while washing my dishes without having a formal start to the game.  Fuck.  Just imagine if she does that at work or some inappropriate setting. She could get fired, embarrassed, or in some kind of trouble.  Or I could. Yeah, we certainly need rules!

After I had been back with the boys… right at the part where Blaze Man and his girlfriend had been captured by the Russians at gunpoint, Regina shows up. And yes, it was the real Regina.  She looked like she had just come from a day at the spa. Her cheeks were rosy and her eyes were bright and happy. She was bouncy and light.  No trace of the slave anywhere to be found as I handed her mineral water. The boys were happy to see her too.  It was a better energy when we were all there and present.

A few moments later, Blaze Man’s female sidekick was literally chained at the neck to a dungeon floor as a giant drill was coming down from the ceiling to skewer her. She and Blaze were breathing through a scuba tank setup because the bad guys had removed all the air from the dungeon.  Blaze Man, forced to watch her demise by being handcuffed to a machine, was helpless to rescue her. The bad guys had rendered his powers useless by keeping oxygen out of the room. (In case you didn’t know, Diary, Blaze Man can only use his powers of fire when there is air in the room). 

Regina and I exchanged flirty glances as the bondage of the girl was featured in a prolonged shot. “Don’t worry, Mom,” reassured Tucker, “they are going to be okay.  Watch.” Regina responded with an obvious bluff, “How awful to be tied up like that! It would be so scary!!”  I shot her a condemning look.

At first, Regina had been sitting in the armchair at the side of the sofa. But to be closer to the popcorn, she squeezed in between me and the sofa arm.  The order was, Jason, Tucker, me, and Regina, all sitting in a line. It felt nice to me. It felt like we were all connected and that I was included in Regina’s life.  Even though it was just the experience of watching a movie, it was a form of connecting us all.

Luckily, for the tied up girl in the movie, Blaze Man kicked the valve off the top of her scuba tank, causing oxygen to escape all over the room. His fire super powers had enough air to be activated.  He shot bolts of flames like spears through the bad guys and freed his girl by burning off her chain with laser-focused fire.  Too bad, I think Regina and I could have use a little more time of her squirming.

At one point, Regina grabbed my hand as she eagerly watched the plot unfold.  That contact melted me. I wanted to hug her and snuggle with her. Too bad. It was a little premature in our relationship to be having PDA’s in front of Tucker.

When the movie was over, Regina made comments about having to leave to get back home with the boys. But the boys protested and nagged and wanted to hang out more. I assumed they were both enjoying being in a new space with new energy.  I think the chemistry between Regina and I also created a good feeling for them.  That type of chemistry is appealing to anybody. It feels safe and fun. It feels joyful.  Who doesn’t love to be around the feelings of joy? 

To help things along, I offered up, “Sure, we can hang out and I’ll order Mexican food for dinner. Maybe we can play a board game afterwards. Of course, after that, we’d have to hit
Mr. and Mrs. Miscellaneous Ice Cream Store
on the way back to your house.”

There was an chorus of “Please! Please! Please!” from the kids.  It was a quadruple win and Regina could stop pretending she had to leave.

So that’s what we did. It was really fun. We ordered Mexican and played several rounds of a game called
Telestrations,
which proved to be quite a hit with the boys, even though they may have been a tad young for it.  I suck at drawing but it didn’t matter in this game. It’s a variation of the classic telephone game that uses crude drawing to communicate ideas. There was laughter all around.  In fact, we all seemed so free and light playing together. I think Regina was delighted by the idea that I could fit with Tucker and Jason so easily. In other words, the kids seemed to have not only approved of me, but really enjoyed my company too.

The evening perfectly illustrated the contrast of Regina’s sexual and vanilla personalities. Here was this quintessential mommy playing board games and watching movies with her boy when, just a few minutes earlier she was pleasuring herself with the kinky thoughts of being sexually controlled by another woman.

It’s funny how she can be such an adored and respected schoolteacher and then have this wildly kinky streak. Then again, I guess I’m the same way. I have my work life that is so different from my sexual life. But for me, the contrast between the two worlds seems less sharp because I am a single and have no child depending on me.  If Regina weren’t a mommy or didn’t have a teaching job, I wonder if she would be wild across her whole life.

That’s stupid. Of course, she wouldn’t. She would just be Regina with the same kinky needs. She would still be a vegetarian with a great fashion sense. She would probably balance it all just like I do. Sex may bleed into my real world, but there is still an overall sense of compartmentalization.

That’s where it gets tricky with our game.  It should be perfectly compartmentalized. But as I saw in the dishwashing episode, Regina is really longing to serve me… so much so that she may drop her compartmentalizing walls down when it’s not appropriate.  I think we should have a sit-down talk about it all and make the rules explicitly clear.  We don’t need problems. Most importantly, we don’t want to do anything to cause confusion or unease for Tucker or the others in our lives.

After the evening at my house, we all went to ice cream on the way to Regina’s. I drove my own car so that I could get back once Regina and the boys were home. The boys wanted to ride with me, leaving Regina in her own car! I was flattered and so was Regina.  To the boys, I figure they were excited about the chance to change it up a bit with something/someone new. Of course, I had to blast the radio, roll down the windows, and hit the crazy San Francisco hill crests with enough speed to make the kids laugh their heads off.

After the ice cream date, we went straight to their house.  It was late. Regina told the boys to immediately go brush their teeth and put on their jammies.  They each gave me a hug before heading off. It was so sweet!

Regina ended up walking me to my car. We were both smiling at the nice time we had all evening.  When I was getting in my car, there was a moment where we ended up staring at each other as enchanted lovers.  We kissed.  It was a sweet and lovely kiss, without kink. The kissing made me feel really in love.  We were in lust too, but this kiss was about honesty and appreciation of each other. I love Regina!

--- SUNDAY APRIL 8 --- Out and About

I woke up this morning feeling great about life. There were no plans to see Regina. Of course, that’s what I said yesterday before the whole dishwashing and Blaze Man business.

But I think Regina and I felt comfortable in letting the day pass without being too clingy.  That kiss last night will keep me going for quite a while. 

Instead of drinking my coffee at home, I decided to cruise over to Pacific Heights to have breakfast at The Grove, a hip coffee joint I’ve always liked. It’s fun to go there because I can window shop in some of the most exclusive shops in San Francisco.  Once I saw some Donna Karan boots there that were $1,920!  Really, I’m not shitting!  The funny thing was, they looked like they were worth every penny.  It’s hard for many people to understand what separates a two thousand dollar pair of boots from a pair that costs two hundred.  Some people think the difference is merely in having a designer label slapped on.  But that’s completely false.

When I go shopping in Barney’s or Nordstrom, I always gravitate toward the most amazing boots on the floor. Many have no clear designer markings at all. But when I turn the boot over to see the price on the bottom; BAM!  There it is, a shoe with a price tag over $1,000 dollars. I have good taste! The difference is in how finely the boot is made, stitching quality, nuance in the shape, type of materials, workmanship, etc.  The high-end designer shoes and boots have a certain gravitas, a feel of importance that the $100 dollar shoe lacks.

For that matter, it’s the same with couture clothing and bags versus the cheaper ones. Maybe they would look similar in a photograph, but in real life the difference stands out like a tulip in the snow.

Needless to say, I’m not going around dropping 2K on shoes. However, I have always heard that male shoe and boot fetishists, guys with really serious fetishes, will buy you shoes and clothes and send them to you free. The only catch is you have to pose in them and post the pictures online. I’ve heard they want you to thank them online and do particular poses to prove they had the control over you in the photo. Bragging rights, I guess. This whole idea really intrigues me.

But I could never do it. Exposing anything too specific or personal on the net really freaks me out. No way! Instead, I will just have to settle for walking along Fillmore Street for some window-shopping on my way to The Grove.

Anyway, excuse the sidebar.  I had a nice breakfast and some great coffee while I took my time reading the paper and answering emails on my laptop.  After a while, Regina called.  Since I was in the restaurant, I spoke quietly in my phone’s mic.  She said I sounded sexy. 

I told her that I really wanted to dial in the rules for our game and PDA’s so that nobody (especially Tucker and our co-workers) gets surprised with something uncomfortable or confusing. She was totally onboard and we decided on the following:

RULE #1
: The game needs a complete start and stop. No sliding in or out of it.

RULE #2:
If we are in the game and the real world intervenes or calls for our immediate attention, it is perfectly okay to step out of the game without using the code or getting the other person’s approval.

RULE #3:
Rule #2 is only valid when not exiting the game could result in bad consequences.  Mild awkwardness or embarrassments are not grounds for stopping the game.  For example, when I hold Regina firmly by her wrist while walking along may be embarrassing to her but will not result in real-world bad consequences. Therefore, I can always hold her by the wrist in public when we are in the game.

RULE #4:
Neither slave nor master can commit acts that would be physically, legally, or financially harmful to either party. Of course, by “physically” we mean permanent or potentially permanent harm.  Bruises and other temporary physical harm is okay, so long as it doesn’t cause problems in our real-world environments.

RULE #5:
We are never allowed to play the game in anger or as a real-world tool to work out issues in our relationship. For example, it’s not okay to for me to physically torture Regina to get her to reveal real-world private thoughts (i.e. how she feels about a certain subject, whether she flirts with anybody else, etc.)

RULE #6:
Verbal abuse or anything said in the game is never allowed to be tied to our real-world feelings. In the game I may call her “a pathetic piece of trash” and she may shout out, “Stop whipping me, you heartless bitch!” but that is only related to the characters in the game. Period.

RULE #7:
Absolutely no photographs within the game… ever!

RULE #8:
We never tell anybody else when we are playing the game or not. We never disclose what we are doing. It is a hundred percent personal. Nobody needs to know what we are doing because, even though we may be in public, it is very intimate and sexual.

We both felt strongly that these rules, a sort of constitution of kink, would really help us keep things clear. We both get so fully transformed into our game characters that these rules are necessary.

Now we have parameters to help keep the flow from overrunning its banks. There is a time to let the kink run wildly and a time to be present in the real world.

After sorting all that out, we had a little more chit chat before she had to go. She was taking Tucker and Jason to the roller rink.  That would be so fun to skate with her! 

I got through a few emails and finished up my coffee at The Grove. Just when I was about to close down my computer, an email popped in from my mom.  She invited me over for dinner next Saturday. Jenna and Mark would be there.

It was just a simple invitation. But the implications were huge! My sister and her husband and my parents each will have their significant others there.  Was I supposed to go there as usual and pretend I’m single? Am I supposed to be a 5
th
wheel? Am I supposed to pretend I am still incomplete and incapable of finding a quality relationship partner? Shit. Do I bring Regina as my new “friend?”  It’s not like I used to bring Victoria over there. Do I announce that I have a girlfriend? Do I say I’m gay? Maybe I respectfully decline the dinner and say I’m booked.  But that only prolongs the inevitable.  At one point, I’m going to have to deal with this… unless, of course, Regina and I break up and I turn full straight.  Then it would be a non-issue if I postponed.