Owning Regina: Diary of my unxpected passion for another woman (24 page)

REGINA

I promise I’ll make it up to you.

ME

Oh, you’ll make it up to me alright. Actually, you’ll be making it up to your mistress.

REGINA

I would love to please her in anyway I could.

ME

Can you believe how blue the sky is today?

REGINA

Yes, Mistress. How may I please you?

ME

You can tell me that you love me.

REGINA

I adore you, Mistress. I love you
with all my heart. I want you more than anything.

ME

Tonight, I’m going to sleep in the corset you gave me.

REGINA

If it pleases you, Mistress.  Forgive me for not being present tonight. I have obligations.

ME

Yes. I’m perfectly aware of that. I’m going to have to punish you severely for neglecting me with your other “obligations”.

REGINA

Yes, Mistress.

ME

You will need to
be tied and gagged in the garage for a long time. You will need to feel some pain on your nipples.

REGINA

Yes, Mistress.

ME

You will need to have a dildo shoved up your ass that you will have to keep in place the whole time you are being punished. Do you understand?

But there was no reply from Regina.

ME

You must answer me. Do you understand?

Minutes ticked by. Pretty soon it was ten whole minutes! Finally, a new text popped in.

REGINA

Forgive me, Mistress. I was unable to control myself. Went to restroom to pleasure myself. Thought about serving you.

ME

That is unacceptable. You can never do that without my permission.

REGINA

Yes, Mistress. I am weak to your allure.

ME

Weak and p
itiful. 

REGINA
Yes, Mistress.

ME

That was some kind of crazy day I had.

REGINA

Me too, Meg.  I gotta get back to class. I love you.

ME

I love you too.

And that was our little
sexting tryst for the afternoon. I can’t believe Regina’s audacity. Not only did she do herself at work, but she did it without her Mistress’s approval. Oh well. She’ll reap what she sows.

As I wound down with a glass of wine at home after work, I was thinking more about how she turned crazy sadist on me and how I had betrayed her by bringing in a third party. We had both done something that had tested each other’s trust. We had both acted without consent of the other.

But we came through it. Something else came through it too. From the minute we awoke this morning, I was feeling like there was a fundamental shift in our relationship.  We were different now.  I’m sure she feels it too. I’d like to talk with her about it. But things are very different. You cannot un-ring a bell. You cannot unbake a cake.

We both went through something very emotional together, something very traumatic. Even though it was of our own fault, we went through something hard. In the wake of it all, I noticed that there is much more solidity to us, more gravity. Our relationship changed from honeymoon love to solid, sober, unyielding love.  The momentary trouble was a rehearsal for how we would be in the event of even heavier circumstances or obstacles that we are bound to encounter.

It was an emotional breakthrough. We are ready to be with each other through thick and thin, corny as that may sound.  We are wiser.  Strangely, having violated each other’s trust ended up making that trust stronger. I never want to hurt her again. I never want to make her distrust me.

When I was in 8
th
grade, I thought it would be fun to try alcohol for the fist time on New Year’s Eve with my girlfriends. The parents were out of the house and we were raiding the liquor cabinet. Before you knew it, we were plastered and started calling every boy in school to flirt and reveal secrets.  I liked the feeling so much and wanted to keep it going. So I started chugging scotch and rum.  Disgusting.  But having no prior experience with alcohol, I quickly found myself in over my head. I completely blacked out, waking up the next morning completely naked in a fetal position in my friend’s bedroom.  I asked my girlfriend’s what had happened.

They said that I was puking all over myself and they had to take off my clothes because they were so gross.  Apparently I had completely ruined my friend’s carpet.  So in the morning, I was freezing and freaked out when I discovered myself like that. I stood up to try to find something to put on, but immediately started puking all over again.

Lucky I didn’t die from alcohol poisoning.  But after that, I vowed to never ever do that again. I never wanted to be so helpless and scared again. I vowed to never pass out drunk again as long as I lived.  And you know what? That’s how it’s been.  Sure, I get a little drunk now and then, but I never let myself lose control. I will never drink to that point again. I changed that night.

It is the same way with Regina. I never want to lose her trust again.  I want to be good for her. I want her to believe in me. So last night was a healthy step towards solidifying everything we are to each other.  We aren’t going to wake up naked in a fetal position.

I just called over there to say hi and see how Tucker is. She seemed so happy to be with him.  She said he was really clingy after being gone so long.  He’s got some new video game he was excited about and he was trying to teach her to play it. She made him soy hot dogs, mac & cheese, and broccoli. After dinner, she told him that she is really excited about having me as a friend.  He asked who is better at yoga. Of course, Regina joked that she kicks my butt. Too bad it’s true ;-)

After dinner, she read to him for a half hour in bed from a Shel Silverstein book.  Even though Tucker knows how to read perfectly, there’s nothing like being next to your mom as she reads Shel Silverstein.  That’s because Silverstein is a book of crazy short rhymes that are geared toward older kids. The themes are a little dark.  Regina read me a chapter on the phone.  I’m not even her son, but I loved hearing the crazy, lyrical rhyming.  I can only imagine being Tucker and having her next to me and seeing her form those words with her darling mouth!

When I said goodnight to Regina, I suddenly felt lonely, kind of like an outsider. She had the full life and I had half the life.  Even so, I was warm inside about my feelings for her and where we were going together.  The funny thing was, my bruised ass was still hurting a lot. It was a souvenir of our time together, something to remember her by.  But just like a souvenir, it never really can bring back the full joy of being in Paris and serves more to show how mundane life is after the holiday is over.  It’s kind of like the Monday blues after the weekend.

--- TUESDAY APRIL 3 --- Daily Life Connection

Regina woke me up this morning with a call to say “Hi” while Tucker was in the shower.  Because she was in Mommy mode, I was embarrassed to tell her that I slept in my corset with my ankles tied together.  It was a quick, but nice little call.  After we hung up, I started thinking of how Regina had been chained in the laundry room while I was with Victoria. The corset helped to bring me closer to Regina. I was recalling how good if felt when she first cinched it on me in the restaurant bathroom. I thought about kissing her and licking her. It didn’t take long before I was starting my day with a bang.   Hi ho, Hi ho, off to work I went.

The rest of the day was pretty standard. But having Regina in my life really gave an extra bounce to my step, as they say. Everything seemed to have a sunshiny feeling. I usually don’t get too wrapped up in my troubles, but the feeling all day was bright and cheery. It was love, alright.

There’s a little shop by my work where I came across a perfect postcard to send to Regina. It was a vintage-looking black and white card of Bettie Page with her hands hoisted above her head in bondage and a ball-gag jammed in her mouth. The little thought bubble coming out of Bettie’s head said, “Every girl needs a little time out now and then.” Of course, I bought the card and jotted down on it, “Worship me. –
Your Owner.
) I popped it in an envelope, stuck a stamp on it and sent it off to my little plaything.

We texted each other quite a bit, sending photos of our daily lives. It all started when I asked for a shot of her classroom.  And she asked for a shot of my desk. It was great to see a concrete visual to help picture each other’s worlds. She also shot me a picture of Jonathan Martin, III, the class guinea pig.  I guess kids take turns taking him home for the weekends (God only knows how they came up with that for a name).  Then a few minutes later when the class was on break, she shot me a little 10-second movie of Jonathan Martin, III cruising around on the carpet.  He just “happened” to be crawling around our brick red boots she was wearing to school.  Ding! Nice job getting me turned on, you little tease!

When I got back home, I shot her a fifteen second movie of a pile of dirty dishes in my sink. My off-camera commentary was, “I hope you want to still be my friend knowing what a slob I am.  Guess the maid took the day off.”

After her school day, she texted that she was really happy having Tucker back.  They were having a nice time together. She was grading papers and baking with him. They made brownies with marshmallows and chocolate chips inside.  Yum!

After Tucker had gone to bed, she cozied in to watch her soap opera.   That is still so funny to me! We texted about once an hour until she finally pooped out at about 10pm.  School teachers need a lot of rest on school nights, especially when they two-time as a sex slave.

--- WEDNESDAY APRIL 4 --- Regina’s X

More Tucker.  Normally, Tucker returns to his dad’s (Alex) on Wednesday evenings and every other weekend. But this week, Regina is helping out Alex by taking Tucker all the way until the next Wednesday to help cover some kind of trip Alex is taking.  Luckily, he reciprocates when she needs the extra coverage.  Regina still can’t believe Alex got 50/50 custody, considering all his past drug use, drinking, and erratic behavior. But few people see that side of him. He’s good at hiding it.  Tucker never describes any bad episodes and Alex treats him like a prince.  

Apparently, Alex went after Regina with top-tier lawyers. The custody was not as much about having Tucker, but about punishing Regina. But she thinks that Tucker does a great job of ignoring all the bad stuff Alex does.  She also said that Alex isn’t a total dick all the way through… or she wouldn’t have married him in the first place. He is more like manic-depressive.   He’s great when he’s great. He’s terrible when he’s terrible.   He’s like a petulant child with a big bank account and a lot of power because of it.  His grandparents were in Texas oil and it still keeps pumping! 

It’s pretty hard to imagine Regina or Tucker with a Jekyll and Hyde who has the ability to be so awful to people. She also feels that Alex won’t harm Tucker when she is not there.  She has spied on them a few times and Alex is very loving with Tucker. Regina says Alex’s hatred was always triggered by Regina being in the mix and calling him on his bullshit.  Without Regina there to push his buttons, the temper is more or less diffused in the home. It’s hard to be angry and fight against someone who is not there.  It would be like if Alex went hiking alone somewhere. There is nothing to trigger a fight with himself.  Perhaps from fear of witnessing past aggression, Tucker tends to mind Alex and lay low so that nothing can suddenly aggravate things.  Kids are smart that way. They do what they have to in order to stay out of the fray. Tucker has made a few comments about how his dad often blows up at people on the phone.

Alex takes Tucker to the park for Frisbee and baseball time.  Regina says if you took a picture of them, they would look like a living Hallmark Father’s day card.  But Alex has real demons. I can’t even imagine how someone could ever find enough anger to harm Regina, the embodiment of grace and warmth.  So glad she got out of there!