Owning Regina: Diary of my unxpected passion for another woman (29 page)

But there was no reason to be jealous. It must have been just a bad head trip I was playing on myself. Maybe I was reading into their connection. Perhaps Regina was merely friendly in a polite way to make the other woman feel relaxed.  Perhaps her seeming connection to this woman was merely a superficial part of our little game in an attempt to heighten our stranger experience. Well, if that were the case, Regina sure was doing a great job of playing buddy-buddy with her partner.

Just when I had almost had enough, the teacher called for us to go back to our individual mats… and not a moment too soon. I was really starting to get resentful and hurt. What a stupid game.

We did our warm down and brief meditation. When class was wrapping up Regina stepped to the drinking fountain and I found myself right next to Regina’s partner.  I couldn’t help myself by probing the woman with, “How’d you like the partner yoga?”  “It was great,” commented the woman who introduced herself as Nancy.  She continued, ”It’s always easier when you have a little history together.”  I felt my stomach sink like a rock, especially when I took note of Nancy’s sporty appearance, “Oh, you two have a history?”

Just then, Regina walked up. Nancy pulled her over to meet me. “This is my sister-in-law, Regina.”  Regina was clearly sensing that I was flummoxed for some reason. “Hello, Regina,” I said, “I’ve seen you around class quite a bit.”

“
Regina is a wonderful person to know,” said Nancy before continuing to Regina with, “Technically, I’m not really your sister-in-law any more since you are divorced from my brother, right.” Regina laughed.  “Anyway, maybe Nancy has a point. Would you care to join me for some soup around the corner? We could get to know each other.” Nancy endorsed, “Great idea. Then you can be partners next time if I’m not there.”  Regina and I smiled at each other with a secret wink.

I was so relieved that Regina’s ex-sister-in-law was… just her ex sister-in-law! Sheesh.

Regina and I both changed out of our yoga clothes at the studio.  When Regina emerged from the bathroom, I almost had a heart attack at how she looked! She was wearing the new Ugg booties I got her!! That was so fast! I didn’t even expedite the shipping and she already had them.

With the shoes, she wore a camel pencil skirt that went to her knees. Tucked into it was a crispy white blouse with a standup collar. And the coup de grace, around her neck was that impossibly sexy brown leather slave collar (the 3-inche wide one that looks like it was cut down from a high-end designer belt). The collar was a stunning accent to the outfit. Plus, it made me want to dominate her!  Her hair was no longer in the side braid, but rather in a high ponytail. She looked super cosmopolitan... like Vogue NY.

Neither of us seemed to know how to exit the “stranger” game.  I made the understated comment,  “Cute outfit.”  She responded with, “Thanks, yours too.”  I was wearing a black turtleneck, black tights, and our brick red boots.

It was awkward because we stayed in character, and didn’t know how to get out of the scene.   It wasn’t our regular game and I wasn’t the mistress.

We went to the restaurant and sat at a booth. Even as the waitress took our order, I was conflicted about if I should break the “stranger” game or not. Regina seemed like she was completely fine as strangers.  But I really wanted to be with
Regina
Regina. So I pulled a ruse.

I pretended to check my phone as if it had been vibrating. “Oh no,” I worried aloud, “I have to go help a friend.   Sorry but I’m going to have to leave.”  Regina, sat in confusion as I hastily disappeared out the front door. She looked so sad as I was walking out, kind of like a bomb just dropped on her.

Outside the restaurant, I waited about thirty seconds before racing back in as I called out, “Regina!  So sorry I’m late.”  She perked up and a wry smile came upon her.  I walked over and gave her a kiss right on the lips. “I missed you soooooooo much!   Thanks for waiting for me!! I had some problems being stuck with a stranger. Long story.”  Regina was beaming and chuckling.  We were back as ourselves.

I don’t know why I felt compelled to exit our game that way instead of just telling her that we should be ourselves. But it seemed, kind of like our kinky game, that we had both thrown ourselves so deeply into character and into believing the circumstances that it would feel embarrassing and awkward to break character without some type of exit device. It would be like if you were watching a stage play and the actor all of the sudden broke character and said, “Can you excuse me for a couple minutes? I gotta move my car before the meter expires.” 

But if the play ends and you see the actor in the lobby, you would expect that he or she would have left the character on the stage to become a regular person again.   Regina and I need that type of transition.  Plus, it feels emotionally safer to know when we are in a character in the character’s world. We won’t be judged for acting strange because it is all part of a stage act.

So there I was in the restaurant with the real Regina. I went over to her side of the booth and slid next to her. It felt like we were both love-struck. We were very tactile, holding hands, playing with each other’s hair, etc.  

Just as in the play analogy, it feels okay to talk about everything once it has officially concluded. Our conversation went like this:

ME

Thank God Nancy is your ex-sister-in-law.  To be perfectly honest, I was jealous about your familiarity with her. I thought she was a virtual stranger to you and that you were flirting with her.

REGINA

I could sense something was going on with you.

ME

Y
ou were aware of me at yoga?  I got the impression you totally shut me out as part of the game.

REGINA

Are you kidding? I have Meg-
dar.  That’s like radar.  I’m telepathically tuned into you.

We both chuckled and then took a pause to eat and breathe. The conversation continued
:

REGINA

Other than Nancy, did you think the game was sexy?

ME

It was so sexy!! I loved seeing you and not being able to jump on you.  It was mental bondage. Your outfit was fantastic! You looked like a completely different girl!

REGINA

Different girl?  But… you would never want that in the real world, right?

ME

God, no.

REGINA

Me neither.

ME

You know what?

REGINA
What?

ME

I have never done any kind of role-playing before in relationships. It’s so fun!! I thrilled that you’re cool with it.

REGINA

Cool with it? It’s dreamy hot.

ME

Speaking of hot, your collar is driving me insane!! I really want to fuck with you in a dungeon.

Her eyes flirted with the fantasy. We snuggled close and I leaned my head on her shoulder. She took my head in her hand.  Just then, a piercing voice interrupted, “Ms. Baker!”

Crap, it was Amanda, one of Regina’s 5
th
grade students with her dad in tow.  They busted over to our table.  The conversation went like this:

AMANDA

Hi Ms. Baker!

REGINA

Hi Amanda. Hi Mr. Swenson. How are you two?

AMANDA

We’re great. We just saw “Far Fetched”.

ME

Oh, that’s the movie about the toy dog who wants to be real, right?

MR. SWENSON

Yes. It was pretty clever. I give it 4 out of 5 stars.

REGINA

(After a smile of acknowledgement)

This is my dear friend, Meg.

Mr. Swenson looked like he was calculating the odds that we were merely “dear friends.”  Of course, he had a lot to work with since Regina and I had been practically drooling over each other. He also spent a decent amount of time staring at her leather collar.

MR. SWENSON

C’mon, Amanda. Let’s let them get back to their dinner.

AMANDA

Okay.  Bye Ms. Baker.

(She turned to exit but then swung back around)

Your collar is really pretty.

REGINA

Thank you, Amanda. See you in class.

MR. SWENSON

It was nice to meet you, Meg.

ME

Likewise.  Have a good evening.

Regina gave a cute little wave as they left.

ME

Does that bother you?

REGINA

What?

ME

That your school half sees this half.

REGINA

No. It doesn’t bother me. Better than running into me sloppy drunk in a bar.

ME

I mean, the fact that you
’re with me.

REGINA

In know what you meant. It doesn’t bother me.  Luckily, we live
in the progressive state of California in the even more progressive city of San Francisco. People can be themselves.

ME

Do you want to go home with me and play a different kind of game?

REGINA

Would you be cool if I slept over?

ME

That’s very forward of you. 

REGINA

You’re right. Please don’t tell that mean Mistress friend of yours. She has it out for me.

ME

No worries.
  We can go to my house and play cards or something.  And yes, Ms. Baker, I’d love you to sleep over.

--- THURSDAY APRIL 12 --- You’re fucking awesome

Insane! When we got to my house last night, we jumped into the game (the real game, not the stranger game) and kept it up until 6:45am when my alarm went off to get Regina to school in time.

Here’s what happened. We got back to my house and we were both feeling really connected to each other.  I poured us each a glass of wine and we sat on the sofa. Regina was sitting with her legs crossed, favoring her new high heels toward me.  She looked like such a femme fatale.  I wanted to see her smoke a cigar to complete the image. Luckily, I happened to have one upstairs that my dad had given me a while back when I expressed interest.

Nobody in my family smokes. Neither Regina nor I smoke. But I still thought it would be hot to see her smoke a cigar. Normally, it would freak me out to smoke anything in my house. It is completely off limits!  But my libido got the best of me and I threw caution to the wind. I wanted to see this femme fatale with that stogie between her lips.

Regina thought the idea sounded disgusting. I knew she thought that because she said, “No fucking way am I smoking a cigar.” Hahaha, But with a little coaxing from my dimpled smile, she was sparking up five minutes later.  She coughed a little at first, prompting a round of giggles, until I told her you’re not supposed to inhale cigars.  Keep in mind, we hadn’t started the game yet and she was not being ordered by her mistress to smoke the cigar.

I stepped across the room to watch her smoke it. The image was every bit as perfect as I had envisioned: White blouse, heavy brown leather slave collar, pencil skirt with crossed legs, beautiful hair and the perfect self-righteous attitude she had suddenly assumed.  She ignored me as I watched her, as if she was alone in the room. After savoring the sight for a while, I couldn't take it anymore from a distance. I needed to shut her down and take control. I wanted to own her sexually.

But just when I was about to get into action, she stunned me by puffing on the cigar and invoking the game with
"Can you believe how blue the sky is today?"