Panties for Sale (32 page)

“Elixia. It’s your mother.
 
Where are you?
 
I’ve called your
phone twice.
 
What are you doing?
 
Are you working today?
 
Did you hear?
 
Mary has lost 10 pounds!
 
Can you
believe it?
 
She said she wasn’t on
herbal magic, but I don’t believe her.
 
You
can’t lose that much weight that fast without help.” Her mother sighed, “Ok,
call me back when you get this message.”
 

Alex pressed 7 to delete and then turned back to
Chieko.
 
“I’m sorry.
 
That’s just my mom.
 
She calls all the time.
 
What were we talking about?”

“Do you ever wonder if it’s ok?”
 

“What do you mean?”
 

“You know,” Chieko lowered her voice, “what we do.
 
Does it always feel ok for you?”

“Oh god,” Alex laughed, “now you’re worried?”

Chieko shook her head and looked out the window at the crowds
rushing by.
 
After a moment, Alex sighed.
“Yeah, I know what you mean.
 
At first I
wasn’t sure, you know, if I could do it, or if it was right.”

“Right?”

“You know, would I be ok?
 
I mean, I know I can’t tell my parents or my friends what I am doing.
 
So, on some level it’s not right.
 
But who says what is or isn’t right?
 
Just because I think my parents won’t
approve?”
 

Both girls stared out of the window in silence sipping
their Zen tea.
 

“Like a few days ago,” Alex broke the silence, “I had this
appointment with yet another old married man.
 
I don't know, he just pissed me off.
 
First, let me start off with saying, he was not handsome.
 
And a gross kisser.
 
And yuck, you know?
 
Like he was proving something to himself by
getting off with a young girl.
 
You
know.
 
So anyways, afterwards we were
talking.
 
And he asked me what I did, you
know socially.
 
And why I wasn't in a
relationship.
 
And didn't my parents want
to see me get married?
 
I told him of
course they did, but I was happy being alone.
 
And then he said, get this, he said, well sure, you're not a vogue
model, but you are pretty enough.
 
You
should be able to find some man to love you.
 
That's what he said.
 
Can you
believe it?”

“Men are assholes,” Chieko said

“I know,” Alex laughed, “but this one, well it was
odd.
 
I was like huh?
 
Like why did he have to go and say that?
 
I wasn’t auditioning to be a model.
 
I wasn’t asking him to marry me.
 
What a dick!
 
Especially since I had just let him fuck me, like a dog with him pushing
my face down into the pillow.
 
It was as
if he felt too guilty cheating on his wife to look at my face while fucking
me.
 
So, this guy, this creepy old guy
thought it was ok to pay me to please him and then when he got what he wanted,
he got a conscience?
 
Then he decided
that what I did was so bad that he could look down on me?
 
Like he, this pathetic dick head, thought he
was better than me.
 
Sometimes, these old
married men just blow my mind.
 
I am not
betraying anyone.
 
I am not cheating on
anyone.
 
Here I am, waking up early,
showering, getting all dressed up, making sure I smell nice, look good,
spending half my day to meet them, giving them my full attention, lavishing
compliments and bullshit on him, pretending to like them and their pathetic
dicks.
 
Basically I am letting them use
my body for their pleasure, like a rag doll and then they think they can turn
around and look down on me?
 
Or take pity
on me?”
 

Alex shook her head.
 
“I can see why these men's wives won't sleep with them.
 
Who would want to deal with these
self-righteous bastards’ day in and day out?
 
And to top it all off, they are actually fucking lousy lovers.
 
Today,” Alex leaned closer to Chieko to
whisper, “my client’s wife called during our appointment.
 
It was so funny.
 
He didn’t answer the phone.
 
Just sat looking at it, watching it
ring.
  
She rang twice.
 
And then he couldn't get hard
afterwards.
 
He ended up leaving early
all stressed out.
 
I think he thought it
freaked me out because he apologized profusely.
 
It didn't bother me at all.
 
I got
to leave early, I still got paid and I didn't have to do anything.”
 
Alex laughed, “I need the wives to call more
often!”

“Somebody once told me that selling your body for sex was
bad, like it was stealing your soul.” Chieko said.

“I don’t know about that.
 
But you know, when I'm with those clients, you know the old married
ones, I don't even try.
 
I don’t offer up
any suggestions or anything.
 
I just get
naked and lie down and let them do what they will.
 
It's too much effort to try something
new.
 
They get scared or critical or it
just doesn't work.
 
It's really funny.
 
And really boring actually.
 
Yeah,” Alex took a breath, “I don’t
know.
 
I don't feel bad after my
appointments, just blah.
 
You know, like
what a waste of time.”

Chieko smiled weakly at Alex. “Sometimes it feels weird to
me too.
 
I try to be nice and tell them
they are strong and big.
 
And well, they
get all my attention, good attention.
 
And all I do is try to please them, right?
 
Like, they don’t even say thank you.
 
And usually, I am with men I wouldn’t date at
all.
 
But I pretend that they are
handsome or nice for the money.”
 

“Yeah, I know,” Alex nodded, “I do that too.
 
I totally do that.
 
I don’t know what I’d do if one of my clients
came up to me in the street,” Alex paused. “You know, I don’t understand
men.
 
If it’s so bad, why do they do
it?
 
Like before, they are all
compliments and charming but then afterwards they get all moral, like we just
made them do a bad thing.
 
But,
seriously?
 
What is so bad?
 
I’m making tons of money.
 
And I hardly work.
 
Look at us,” She looked down at all their
shopping bags; Coach, Channel, Roots, MAC, Banana Republic, Sephora. “How much
money did we just spend?
 
And that’s no
big deal.
 
I won’t even miss it.
 
Plus,” she smiled, “I have Joseph.
 
He is so interesting.”

“But what about when that’s over?”

“Over?
 
What do you
mean over?”
 
Alex put down her cup and
looked at Chieko. “Me and Joseph aren’t over.
 
I mean, if he has to leave on business or whatever, I’ll be fine.
 
I mean, ok sure. I know it won’t last
forever,” she picked up her tea and shrugged.
 
“Anyways, why all these deep questions?
 
Did you have another bad client?”
  

“No,” Chieko shrugged, “not really.
 
No, you are right, I am making a lot of
money.
 
And I have saved quite a
bit.
 
But, I don’t know, I can’t explain
it well.” Chieko turned to face out the window, “this morning, I didn’t even
want to get up.
 
If I didn’t come to meet
you, I would still be bed.
 
I used to like
to wake up early.
 
I just feel so tired.”

“Maybe you’re getting your period,” Alex shrugged then
laughed. “Oh my god!
 
I didn’t tell you,”
she lowered her voice.
 
“I got mine, with
Mr. Sutherland.”

“What do you mean?”
 

“You know, my period?
 
Um,” Alex tried to explain, “bleeding, once a month?”

“Yes, I know period, but what do you mean you got it, on an
appointment?”

“I couldn’t believe it.
 
I mean, I knew it was coming soon, but it was right there, bright red,
all over the condom.
 
I know!” Alex shook
her head. “I hope Mr. Sutherland didn’t notice.
 
I just pushed him down and took off the condom myself.”

“But it just came?
 
You don’t know when it comes?”

“No,” Alex shook her head, “not really.”

“Wait,” Chieko paused, “its bright red, right away?”

“Yes.
 
Why?
 
Isn’t yours?”

“No.
 
I know exactly
when it is coming.
 
I mark it on the
calendar.
 
Anyways, it starts to drip
brown drops a few days before, so I am prepared.
 
I always change my appointments when I see
the drops.”

“Really?”
 
Alex was
amazed.
 
She had thought everyone’s was
the same.
 
“I know I crave chocolate when
its coming but,” Alex laughed, “I always crave chocolate.
 
And then it’s just there.
 
Bright red, thick blood.
 
Sometimes, I’m lucky and I catch it when I go
to the washroom.
 
If not, it’s all over
my pants.
 
And then the cramps
start.
 
I get vicious cramps.”

“Aren’t you taking pills,” Chieko paused, “like not to get
pregnant?”

“You mean birth control?
 
No.”

“What?” Chieko was shocked.
 
“But Alex, that is dangerous.”

“Not really,” Alex argued. “Everyone wears a condom.
 
I tried to take birth control once, but I got
really bloated.
 
I looked too fat.
 
And I always forgot to take the pills.
 
No, I trust my body.
 
I already told it I didn’t want to get
pregnant till I am 35.”

“You told it?”

“I did,” Alex nodded.

“I hope it listens,” Chieko shook her head as she looked
back out the window.

“So, if you’re not getting your period, what’s wrong?” Alex
looked at Chieko with concern. “Are you are getting sick?”

“No, no, I don’t think so.”
 
Even though she was more open with Alex than anyone she didn’t want to
tell her that she had been bleeding for the past two weeks.
 
It wasn’t her period.
 
She was sure of that.
 
It wasn’t the same kind of bleeding.
 
It was different.
 
And she only noticed it after she went to the
bathroom.
 
It was on the toilet
paper.
 
The blood didn’t leak out or
anything.
 
Chieko had hoped it was just a
cut or something.
 
So it would heal on
its own.
 
But it hadn’t.
 
It wasn’t getting any worse, but it hadn’t
stopped.
 

“Chieko?” Alex’s voice brought her back to reality. “Are
you sure you are ok?
 
Did something bad
happen?”

“No, no,” Chieko said, lowering her head. “It’s ok.”

“Just ok?
 
Come on,”
Alex reached over and rubbed Chieko’s shoulder trying to get her to smile.
 
“You always have some funny story for
me.
 
How about Carl?
 
Has he given you any more presents?” Chieko
shook her head. “Or that computer guy.
 
Tony, right?
 
He’s
hysterical.
 
Have you seen him again?”
Chieko didn’t answer. “Who did you see yesterday?”

Chieko looked pained. “Yesterday?” she paused looking out
the window.
 
“No, not Tony.
 
I had Tony last week.”
 
Alex watched Chieko circle her finger around
the rim of her cup.
 
Something was really
bothering her today. Something more than just a bad appointment.
 
She looked like hell.
 
She wasn’t wearing any makeup.
 
And she had on a dirty t-shirt that looked
like she had slept in it.
 
She had just
followed Alex in and out of the stores barely looking at anything.