Paranoiac (16 page)

I was terrified with excitement. My
heart was thumping so fast and adrenaline was coursing through my
veins. “Molly, it’s you and Davis. Your engagement-“

“
Isaac…” She interrupted
quickly. I looked up at her and tried to continue but she put up
her hand, telling me to stop. “I love Davis and we’re getting
marr-.”

I threw her hand away from mine. “No,
Molly! This time you’re going to hear what I have to say.” I
interrupted her defiantly. Her look of worry and concern changed
into shock. “I’ve known you for so long. I’ve cared about you since
the moment we’ve met!” She tried to respond to me but I cut her off
in anger, “I was ALWAYS there for you. I’ve ALWAYS been your
shoulder to cry on!” I took step closer to her, she still had a
look of surprise on her pretty face. “I got you through college,
paid for your travels and never asked for anything in return.” I
was quivering with rage.

“
Isaac, I never asked for
any of that!” She said in annoyance, her face was red.

I took another step towards her and
grabbed her shoulders firmly. “You will listen to me,” I said
seething with ire. She went silent and diverted her eyes, avoiding
my glare. “I have loved you for so long!” Looking at me, there was
pain in her eyes then she turned her head again. “Molly, I’m not
stupid. You had to know I have always loved you.” I sighed, yet she
still refused to look at me. “But I can’t bottle it up anymore.
Even if I ruin this friendship. I have to say it.”

Molly looked at me with anguished
eyes, “Please… Don’t,” She said dolefully.

I squeezed her shoulders tighter but
she refused to make eye contact with me and started squirming in my
hands. “Molly, I love you!” I professed, my heart exploding in my
chest. “Ru-run away with me. Leave Davis before it’s too late.” She
started crying and I hopelessly convinced myself it was because she
felt the same way. “Just leave him, marry me and take me to all of
the beautiful places you traveled to.” I pleaded, crying
uncontrollably. Years of holding back my tongue were finally over.
We could finally be together. “I just want to make you happy,” I
said with a weight lifting from my shoulders.

Molly finally looked at me, tears
streaking down her cheeks. Her emerald eyes glowed in the poorly
lit room. “Isaac, you are so stupid!” She pronounced angrily,
pushing away from my grip and marched a few steps back. “You are so
selfish and arrogant.” Her words were slurred and I was stunned. “I
have always loved you like a broth-“

“
Don’t say it!” I
interrupted, stepping nearer to her. “I refuse to hear that speech
again.”

“
No Isaac, now it’s your
turn to listen to me,” She tread further into the hallway. “It’s my
turn to break your heart like you just broke mine.” I started to
feel sick to my stomach as she spoke, my hopes draining. “We will
never be together! Never!” Molly paused and turned her back to me.
“I’ve always wanted the best for you Izzy. I’ve always wanted you
to be happy.” She was sounding more sincere by the way that I could
hear her sobbing quietly. “I took your money because I knew it
would make you happy.” Molly said crying harder now. “Half of the
reason I left to travel the world was to put a space between us.”
Now I was the one that was sobbing. My stomach was in knots as each
of her words cut deep into me. “I thought once I came back we could
be closer as friends. That you would have met someone else and
forgotten about me,” She uttered so sadly.

“
I could never forget,” I
interjected and she winced at the sound of my voice, continuing to
tear me down with the brutal truth.

“
Isaac, why can’t you
understand the importance of being a friend?” She questioned me,
her back still turned. “Flings, lovers, boyfriends and sometimes
even husbands, come and go.” She whipped around and walked briskly
up to me. “But the people you trust the most. The people who are at
times more important than family, will always be there, through
thick and thin.” Molly shoved at my chest and it made me trip
backwards.

“
I’m sorry Molls, I need
more than that,” I steadied myself and walked towards her. “My love
for you is stronger than familial bonds. It's the only thing I’ve
lived for. The only thing that matters to me is you.” I grabbed her
shoulders again, she tensed up and shuddered. “How is loving
someone so selflessly a selfish act?” She didn’t answer me. Molly
just looked into my eyes and cried. I moved her hair behind her ear
and kissed her smooth, moist lips.

“
Isaac!” She howled out in
disgust, literally spitting my name into the ground. “You’re
selfish because you want me all to yourself.” At that she tried to
break free from my grip but I didn’t want her to leave. “Let go of
me! You’re sick Isaac!” Molly bellowed angrily.

“
No!” I grunted back at
her. She grimaced in discomfort as my grip tightened. “Just tell me
you love me.” I demanded forcefully. The room was blurry and
tumultuous, I wasn’t feeling like myself.

“
Stop!” Molly yelled as
she feverishly tried to pull away from me. I held her firmly,
desperately trying to get her to listen. “What are you doing?” She
whined, tears dripping off of her chin.

“
Why can’t you just love
me?” I growled at her. She started pounding on my chest and clawing
at my arms. I pulled her close into my body and forced her into my
arms.

“
Davis! Davis!” She called
out pathetically into my chest. She went limp and just sobbed in my
arms. “I just want my pretty Davis,” She whimpered on and on into
my chest.

Her body was so warm against mine and
she was so, so soft. I put my head to hers and smelled her hair.
“It’s just you and me now,” I said kissing the top of her
head.

“
I trusted you Izzy,”
Molly whined looking up at me, her eyes red and puffy from crying.
“The only person I belong to is myself and the person I choose to
love is Davis!” I hugged her tighter not wanting to let her go.
Deep down I knew that once she left I would never see her again. I
knew that after she told everyone what I did, no one would talk to
me again. “Isaac get off of me!” She yelled out.

I refused to let her go, she needed to
understand, had to. “Don’t leave, just give me a chance!” I begged
childishly. “We would be perfect togeth-“

In a flash Molly slapped me across the
face so hard my ears started ringing. I let go of her instantly and
put my hand to my face. My cheek was hot and itched with pain. “You
freak!” She yelled ferociously.

Journal Entry Twenty Eight

Something inside of me snapped and she
saw it in my face. I felt cold and numb as I stared at her
terrified face. “You shouldn’t have done that,” I hissed out. My
voice didn’t sound like my own. I took a step closer to her and her
quivering body.

“
I-Isaac?” Molly stuttered
and slurred idiotically. And she looked so scared. The hairs on my
arms and neck stood up on end. “Izzy?” She bemoaned as I approached
her.

My arm jerked out seemingly on its own
and snatched her throat. “You broke my fucking heart,” I muttered
flatly, my voice was becoming more and more alien to me. Her body
was quivering and she started bawling pointlessly.

“
I-I’m sorry,” She choked
out, gasping for breath in between words. I let go of her and
watched her fall to the floor indifferently.

“
It’s too late for that,”
I said robotically, staring down at her. Somewhere inside of me I
could hear myself screaming, telling myself to stop but I couldn’t.
Molly was mine. She had always been mine and no one could have her
but me.

Molly was staring up at me, her face
stained with fear. “What’s wrong with you!?” She rasped out,
rubbing her irritated neck.

I could feel something primal and
twisted stir inside of me. It stomped out what was left of my
conscience as it pleaded me to stop. “You’re about to find out!” I
growled. Before she could even react to my threat I grabbed a
handful of her beautiful, silky hair and started to pull her down
the hallway.

“
Isaac! You’re hurting
me!” She screamed out. I hissed at her to shut up as I dragged her
up the stairs leading to my parent’s old rooms. “Davis,” Molly
bellowed out hoarsely. Her voice was so strained it barely traveled
down the hallway.

I kicked at her ribs, knocking the air
out of her. “You say his name again and I’ll pull out your teeth!”
I threatened with pleasure. My voice had been completely replaced
by something foreign and malicious.

“
Davis! Davis! Davis!” She
yelled out obstinately. Molly was scratching and pulling at my arm
but my long sleeves protected me. Her resistance was just
background noise, I was lost in my deviant thoughts.

I let go of her hair and violently
kicked at her ribs over and over again. She rolled over onto her
other side, gasping for air. Curled into the fetal position she had
moaned painfully. I stood over her and forced her onto her back. “I
warned you!” I grabbed fistfuls of her hair and started slamming
her head on to the floor. The rug muffled the loud blows and she
grunted out the ugliest of noises. I looked at her pitiful, weak
body and spit into her pain stricken whining, gaping mouth. She
choked out cries and rolled back and forth in pain. For the first
time in my life I felt in control. The angrier I got the stronger I
felt.

“
Da-Davis,” She moaned
out, blood was flowing from her once perfect nose. Her head was
bobbing miserably.

“
Once I’m done with you,
no one will want your ruined, slutty self,” I said with a clenched
jaw. Grabbing at her hair again I dragged her up the stairs, step
by step. She wasn’t fighting anymore. The blows to her head left
her concussed and docile.

But as I yanked her up the last step
and she started to fight back, although weakly. She was screaming,
crying, and kicking her legs. Molly knocked her flats off as she
flailed her feet and tried to swat at me. I quickly put my hand
over her mouth, not wanting anyone to ruin my fun. She immediately
bit me. I slapped her as hard as I could across the face. My
adrenaline was pumping and it made me feel invincible. I grabbed as
much of her clumped, tangled hair as I could and started pulling
her to the end of the dark hall. She tried desperately to get free
but she was too drunk and disoriented.

I could feel and hear her
hair pulling out of her scalp. She moaned in pain but I couldn't
care less. Bloody chunks of her scalp and hair were tangled and
hanging from my fingers. I stared hungrily at the crimson dripping
down my hands and staining my shirt. I smiled cruelly and slung the
bloody mass of hair to the rug and with a wet
thump
, it was out of my
sight.

“
Why? Why?” She started
wailing over and over pitifully. “Isaac, don’t do this! Please
don’t do this!” Molly begged feebly. I smiled and again I felt that
primordial darkness stir beneath my skin. I wanted to let it tear
out of me. I wanted to feed it.

I got close to her and put my mouth
next to her ear. “There’s no turning back, I’ve already crossed the
point of no return.” Then she looked at me and something in her
eyes changed. Molly was beyond terrified and it aroused me. I
glared at her soft, milky, skin and her beautiful eyes. The beast
from within wanted her, and so did I.

Pulling her dress up to her hips, I
ran my fingers up and down her impeccable, pale thighs. She fumbled
around and tried to stop me. I paused and leered at her with a look
of hunger on my face. “Stop,” Molly whimpered out before I balled
up my fist and struck her in the face. She fell onto her back
moaning, rocking back and forth. I looked down and continued to rub
her thighs and hips. Her body was quivering as I ran my fingers
along her thin black panties. “Please, no!” She said shakily but I
didn’t care.

Just as I slid my fingers underneath
the elastic waistband of her panties she started to piss herself.
It spread down her legs sluggishly and darkened the rug. The warmth
and the smell of it drove me wild. I could feel my cock pulsing to
life as I stared at her soaked cheekies.

Putting my hand on her crotch, I felt
the warm wetness. I could feel my dick pressing firmly into my
jeans. The monster inside of me was roaring, pleading, begging for
me to continue. So I got down on my knees and moved my face closer
to her crotch. She was groaning a bit louder now yet she wasn’t
fighting back. She knew I was in control and deep down she wanted
this. I forcefully spread her legs apart and put my mouth on her
soft, warm, wet cunt. I licked and sucked gently at her panties, my
cock throbbing so hard it was painful.

“
Ple-please,” Molly gasped
in pain and fear. “You don’t have to do this.” She tried to pull
away from me but I grabbed her hips and pulled her back to my
mouth. “I won’t tell anyone!” She sniveled distraught. “I won’t
tell anyone!” Molly was weeping again. “We’ll just tell everyone I
was drunk, that I fell and you found me.” She was staring at me doe
eyed.

“
Molly, you know it’s too
late for that,” I started to lick at her panties again, savoring
the taste of her unique, pungent, smell. “You shouldn’t be so
desperate,” I said crawling up her body and on top of her. “It’s
really unattractive,” I imparted with a smile on my face. More
stimulated than I had ever been, I picked up her bloody head with
both hands and forcefully kissed her on the mouth. “You’re
gorgeous,” I complemented gently and slammed her head onto the
floor. And then I did it again, one more time, for good measure.
Her eyes rolled to the back of her head and she was whining
dully.