Parker's Island (9 page)

“I’m not
ly
…
fine.  Okay, I’m just not hungry.”

The rest of our friends, including Jason
,
joined us.  We were all just chatting about nothing in particular when
Logan walked over and said, “Delaney,
may I talk to you for a minute…
please
?
” 

Suddenly the table went completely
silent
. 
My friends
were all stunned by the sudden appearance of the known loner. 
Logan made it a point to keep to himself
.  H
e never talked to anyone at lunch.  He usually just sat alone
or
read
outside under a tree
if the weather was nice
.

“Um…
sure,
” I said, standing up.  Logan headed
outside,
and walked
toward the
soccer field
.  I looked at Molly
,
shrugged my shoulders and then
I
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      
                                      
followed him.

He walked out a ways
and then turned to face me.  He had that look on his face again, like he wanted to tell me something, but couldn’t.  “Delaney, I wanted to explain why I can’t go out with you.
  I
want to go out with you,
honestly, it’s just…
”

“You don’t owe me an explanation.  You don’t owe me anything
,
” I said, not wanting to have this conversation.

“I know I hurt your feelings.  That was the last thing I wanted to do.
  I’m so sorry.
”
             
“No, I’m fine.
  It’s no big deal
,
” I lied…
yet again.

“It is to me.  I would really love to go out with you, but like I said yesterday, I
can’t.
”

“Okay, fine
,
”
I snapped, tired of
reliving his
rejection.

“Don’t you want to know why?”
he pushed.

“It doesn’t matter.  If you can’t, then you can’t
,
” I said, willing myself not to cry.  I was looking down at the freshly cut grass when he reached out and touched my arm.  It was like an electric shock
.  A
n intense feeling swept through me
.  I looked up then, losing the battle of my will as one single tear slid down my cheek
, betraying the brave front I was trying
so hard to
put forth
.

“Please don’t cry.  You don’t know how badly I wanted to say yes…and if I w
ere
free, I would
have
asked you out months ago.”

I wiped the
unwanted
tear from my cheek and thought about what he said for a minute.
  “Free?”

“Yes, I’m…involved with…
someone
,
”
he said sadly.

“You have a girlfriend?” I asked, not sure if I felt better or worse at the thought.

“No
, not exactly
.”

“I don’t understand.”

There was that look again.  He stood there, staring at me again, but sa
id
nothing. 
I finally asked
, “So you’re involved with someone, but she’s not your girlfriend?”

“No
,
”
h
e took a deep breath and
s
aid, “
…
s
he’s
my wife.”

“Your what?” I asked, certain he co
uldn’t have said he had a wife.

“Delaney
,
I’m married.”

I stood there shocked. 
I would have thought he was lying if it weren’t for the look on his face.

“I don’t understand.  How c
an
you be married?  You’re only in high school.”

“
I’m 19, almost 2
0
.  I
t’s
complicated
, b
ut I really am married
,
”
h
e said.  “So, now you understand why I couldn’t say yes
?
”

“Um…
yes
,
” I said, still in shock.

“I think you should probably get back to your friends
now
.  They probably think I’ve done something terrible to you.”

“Why would they t
hink that?”
I asked,
my head still reeling.

“I know I’m not well liked here
,
Delaney.  I don’t care what people here think about me.  I only care what you think.  I’m so sorry I hurt you. 
Please believe me, if I wasn’t…
married, you wouldn’t be able to keep me away
.”

He lightly touched my cheek with the back of his hand and then turned and walked away.

I stood there with tears streaming down my cheeks until the bell rang, bringing me out of my stupor.  I wasn’t sure if I was upset because I had no hope of ever having Logan, or if I was upset because of the pain I saw in his eyes.  There was no happiness
when he spoke of her
.  He didn’t talk about her like a man in love.  In fact
,
he never said he loved her or even spoke her name.  Something wasn’t right, but I couldn’t put my finger on it.  “It doesn’t matter
.
H
e’s married
and that’s that!” I told myself, then wiped my eyes and headed to fifth period. 

The rest of the day I walked around in a stupor, still completely shocked.  All of my friends made it a point to ask me what Logan wanted
and I couldn’t even answer them.  I was so lost in thought that Molly
finally
smacked me.  “Snap out of it.  What the
h
ell did he do to you?”
s
he asked, sounding angry at him.

“What?  He didn’t do anything.  He was very nice.  He just apologized for upsetting me.”

“So, then are you guys
finally
going out?”

“What?  No.”
  I was still in shock.

“Delaney, I don’t get you at all
,” s
he said,
and
then asked if I wanted a ride home.

“No, I think I need to walk home
today
.  But thanks
,
anyway.
” 
I knew
without a doubt, I needed to sort through some things in my head.

“Okay, I’ll pick you up in the morning.  It’s our last day
of high school, EVER
– time to party!!!!”
s
he grinned.

“Yeah
, our last day
.”
I tried to smile, but couldn’t.  My countdown was over
…
and I
had
lost!

Chapter
Three
:
The Big Blow Out!

Whether it was that he didn’t
want
to cause me any more pain, or he couldn’t stand the uncomfortable silence any longer,
Logan didn’t come to the last day of school.

I walked around in a fog, trying to accept that he was not only gone, but married.  That was a hard pill
for me
to swallow.  I sat down with my friends during what was to be our last
school
lunch.  I bought a sandwich, but was too preoccupied to actually eat it. 

Brian W
al
ters came over to our table
then
and asked if he could talk to me for a minute. 

Molly whispered in my ear, “Too bad it’s the last day of school
.  T
hat’s two days in a row
that
a hot guy steals you away
from us at lunch
,
”
s
he grinned.

I rolled my eyes at her and stood up slowly.  “Okay.”

We walked a few feet away and Brian said, “Um
,
I know this is sort of la
s
t
minute
and I know you’ll probably say no, but it’s the last day of school and I don’t know when or if I’ll see you again, so here goes…
w
ould you like to go to our graduation party with me?”
h
e asked,
and
then I heard him exhale loudly.

I saw Molly out of the corner of my eye shaking her head and mouthing t
he
words
,
‘Tell him yes!’

For a moment, Logan flashed into my mind, but this time he was wearing a tu
x and standing next to a bride…
his bride.  I knew then that I had to get on with my life
.  I looked at Brian, who I always thought was a really nice guy,
and I
took a deep breath
before saying
, “Sure, that sounds
like
fun.”

“It’s okay, I understa
…what did you say?”
h
e asked.

“I said yes
,
I’d like to go to the party with you.”

“Really
, a
re you sure…
no I mean, that’s great!  The ferry leaves the dock at 6:30, so I’ll pick you up at 5:45.  That s
hould give us plenty of time.”

“Okay
,
I’ll be ready.”  Suddenly my parents flashed through my mind, and I said, “You know, maybe we should just meet at the Ferry.”

“I don’t mind picking you up
at your house
, really.
  I should meet your parents
,
”
h
e said
,
looking like he was afraid I was going to back out of the date.

“I won’t be
home;
I’ll be
…
at
Molly
’s house
,
”
I lied.

“Oh, okay.  I’ll pick you up there.  Where does she live?”

“I’d really rather meet you at the Ferry.  Molly
and Jason
can bring me to meet you.”

Afraid to push his luck, he agreed to meet me at the Ferry at 6:00.
  Then he said, “Thanks.  We’ll have a great time.”

Molly was so
thrilled
when I got back to the table she could hardly contain her excitement.  She was much more excited than I was, but I was determined to let Logan go and start to live my life, whether I wanted to or not.

I did have one small problem
though
…two actually…
my parents.

The next night was graduation.  Logan didn’t come for that
,
either.   It was a bitter-sweet ceremony with lots of tears, laughter and long commencement speeches.   I was thrilled when it was over and I could
go
back to the sa
nctity
of my room.  My parents had other ideas however, and took me out to celebrate at my favorite seafood restaurant. 

I did my best to be pleasant at dinner and thanked my parents not only for dinner, but the beautiful
diamond
earrings they bought me. 
I knew they were expensive and they probably couldn’t afford them
,
but I accepted them
graciously, knowing that if I said anything about the cost I would only embarrass them.  Their gift only made deceiving them all the more painful.  But, I
knew I
couldn’t back out
of the party
now.