Authors: Catherine Aird
Professor Tomlin had led the way in. âIt's my turn to say Grace, gentlemen. Do you think I should â ah â say anything else?'
There was a general shaking of heads. The dons were of one mind.
âNo, no.â¦'
The Master's job, don't you think?'
âTomorrow would be better, surely.â¦'
âWe don't really know enough to say anything do we?'
âThere's no one here, anyway,' said the junior scientist. He, at least, was aware of the preternatural hush in the Hall. âWell, hardly anyone.'
This was true. The High Table was not the only one to be seriously diminished in number. Beyond it, all the way to the Buttery, stretched tables almost empty of students. There was only one that was anything like full and that was the one nearest to the Buttery.
The dons peered round.
âQuite like
Zuleika Dobson
, isn't it?' said Neil Carruthers.
âYou said you preferred the place without students, Tomlin,' Bernard Watkinson reminded him. âNow you've got it that way. At a price, of course.'
Professor McLeish adjusted his glasses. âThere are some dining, you know.'
âA handful of dissenters,' suggested Roger Hedden, the sociologist. âI suppose I should be taking a professional interest in an out-group. The non-sitters-in or the sitters-out.'
âThey're scientists, I hope,' said Mautby, still visibly seething about his violated laboratory. âIf I find my ecologists haven't too much sense â and too much to do â for sit-ins, then I shall have something to say to them tommorrow.'
âPlenty of politics in ecology,' remarked Carruthers provocatively. âYou've only got to call it “food supply” instead and everyone starts getting excited.'
âIf they are my ecologists over there,' said Mautby, âand I think they are â at least they're eating here properly and not camping in their rooms feeding out of tins of
Phaseolus vulgaris
.'
âOf what?' asked old McLeish. Sanskrit â but little else â was an open book to him.
âThe humble baked bean,' explained Hedden kindly.
âTalking of food,' said Watkinson, âI can see from here that Fat Boy hasn't gone to the sit-in.'
âTalbot?' said Carruthers. âYou won't catch him going anywhere that the food supply is restricted. Where's our doughty College Librarian, though?' He looked round the High Table. âHe's not here. Don't say Pringle has defected to Malcolm Humberts' cause.'
Professor Tomlin gave a short laugh. âNo need to worry about that, Neil. He's an opportunist, is our Peter. He's taken advantage of the Greatorex's being closed today because of the sit-in and gone off to the Bodleian.'
âSomething they've got that we haven't?' enquired Watkinson slyly. âI thought the Greatorex was perfect.'
âOnly in certain fields, I understand,' responded Tomlin gravely. He paused. âYou know, I'm not at all sure that I shouldn't have mentioned poor Moleyns this evening after all â¦' He was accountable nightly to his wife, the Bishop's daughter, as well as to the Master of Tarsus, and of the two she probed the more deeply.
âDon't worry,' said Carruthers, the moral philosopher. âThey know. You can't keep something like that quiet. And saying anything won't help.' People expected philosophers to be comforters, but they weren't. On the contrary, in fact. Carruthers pointed to the table next to the Buttery. âSee how quiet they are.'
He was quite right. The man with the shoulder-length hair sitting half-way down the table â Barry Naismyth â was uncommonly subdued. So were the others there, all of them all too well aware of the empty chair in their midst â Henry Moleyns' chair.
âPolly?' asked Derek Doughty, unnaturally anxious. âWhere's Polly? She wasn't going to go to the sit-in.'
âShe's seeing the police,' said Martin Robinson. His father was on the Bench and approved of the police. He wondered how soon he would be on the telephone, too.â¦
âThey came to the Madrigal and Glee Club,' said Barry Naismyth, âand talked to Stephen Smithers.'
âStephen Smithers?' echoed Martin Robinson.
âHe was the last to arrive, that's all,' said Naismyth hastily. No one could seriously suspect Smithers of violence.
âAnd Colin?' asked Doughty, looking at the other empty chair. âWhere's he?'
Tommy Talbot shook his head. âNobody knows. They're looking for him everywhere.' Unlike the Bursar, Talbot was still eating well. âThe police want him to identify his things.'
âThat's a funny business, too,' said Naismyth thoughtfully. âIt doesn't make sense â someone nicking Colin's things, and then leaving them out by the fountain.'
âSomeone want me?' said Colin Ellison himself, suddenly appearing from behind them. âSorry to be late again.'
âTalk of the â¦' began Robinson, and stopped.
âDevil,' Ellison finished pleasantly for him. âI wasn't going to come down to eat tonight but I was afraid you'd all think I was at the sit-in if I didn't.' He pulled out a chair and sat down, looking round at the empty chairs as he did so. âDon't say Henry went after all? And Polly?'
âHaven't you heard?' responded Naismyth sharply.
It was soon obvious to them all â and to the police later â that Colin Ellison either really and truly hadn't heard about Henry Moleyns or was going to insist until kingdom come that he hadn't which at this moment amounted to the same thing.
9 Counter-parry
Miss Hilda Linaker's set of rooms were pleasantly feminine in spite of her athletic appearance, and comfortably untidy. They were on the second floor of Tarsus College and in daylight must have commanded a fine view over the quadrangle. There were books everywhere. Detective Inspector Sloan was sitting in a fireside chair facing Miss Linaker. His only book was a notebook and it was open on his knee.
âI saw no evil,' she said seriously, âand I heard no evil.'
âYou must have been very near,' he said.
âNear in time and near in distance,' she agreed in Aristotelian vein. âTwenty-six minutes past seven could easily have been the time we were there but, as I said before, I can't be quite sure.'
âA pity it wasn't raining,' he said involuntarily.
âThen you'd have known how long Colin Ellison's things had been out by the fountain, wouldn't you.'
At least, thought Sloan, ready comprehension was to hand in a university setting. That, though, like much else, cut two ways. It meant that whoever he was dealing with in the way of a villain was likely to be clever, too. He asked her if she had seen anyone at all.
âOh, yes,' said the don, âthere were quite a few people about. There always are round about the lodge and the quadrangle, and they weren't all at the sit-in. It's just that I didn't notice anyone in particular â except Polly Mantle, of course. I know most of the girls in Tarsus by sight even if I don't teach them.'
âAnd Henry Moleyns?' asked Sloan. âDid you know him?'
âNot really,' she replied, âbut I happened to hear him arguing in the Library yesterday.'
âOh,' said Sloan alertly. âWho with?'
The woman shook her head. âI don't know with whom. There were three of them, actually. You'd better ask Mr Hedden that. The men, I must say, I don't all know by sight unless they're my students. But Roger Hedden â¦'
âHedden?'
âLecturer in Sociology.'
Sloan's professional mask must have slipped because Miss Linaker said quite gravely, âI believe he subscribes to Alexander Pope's view.'
âAnd what would that be?' asked Sloan, out of his depth.
âThat the proper study of mankind is man.'
âAh.' There was another definition of a sociologist Sloan had seen somewhere ⦠the police canteen, he thought. Someone had pinned it up after they'd had a visit from a post-graduate sociologist doing a thesis on something wildly improbable like âthe influence of their working surroundings on policemen.' How had it defined sociology? âThe study of those who don't need studying by those who do.' It had stayed up on the canteen wall a long time, had that one.
Miss Linaker was still speaking. âRoger Hedden must have seen to whom poor Moleyns was talking, Inspector, because he was so much nearer than I was. It was he who complained to me about the noise they were making. I knew that one of them was Moleyns only because he came over to Tarsus immediately afterwards to ask to see Professor Watkinson.'
âWatkinson?' Sloan wrote that name down under Hedden's.
âBernard Watkinson, Modern History,' said Hilda Linaker.
Sloan was irresistibly reminded of Wales: Jones the Shop, Jones the Post, Jones the Railway.⦠Here at the University you weren't just a name but a name and a subject. That, he supposed, was one stage better than being a name and a number â as in the Army and the Police â and prison ⦠or a name and a disease, as in hospital, which was worse.
Miss Linaker, who seemed to have an uncanny facility for following his mind, said, âWe're all specialists here. That's our trouble. We all know too much about our own field and not enough about the next person's.'
âIt has its dangers,' agreed Sloan moderately. The Superintendent, now â he discounted all expert opinion on principle â and, so they said, did juries.â¦
âThe territorial imperative of learning, I suppose you could call it,' said Miss Linaker, demonstrating that in universities, at least, trains of thought, once started, ran on.
Sloan didn't know whether to write that down or not.
âThat,' amplified Miss Linaker, âmeans “Keep off, It's Mine.”'
Now there was a sentiment every policeman understood. His own property was very dear to every normal citizen â dearer than his own person, often enough (perhaps they could explain that in a university) â and disregarding his rightful claims to that property, the basis of most crime. And if you didn't learn that early on, then you weren't going to make much of a policeman.
âThey say it applies to animals, too,' observed Miss Linaker, still keeping to the point. âI must say it's an unusual academic who ventures an opinion on something in someone else's field-except mine, of course,' she added dryly. âEveryone feels qualified in English Literature.'
âQuite so,' said Sloan. After
Hamlet
, that certainly went for Superintendent Leeyes, too. âThey tell me, miss, that you were wearing a gown.'
âMy working clothes, Inspector. Proclaiming to the world what I'm doing. Like “Young Harry, with his beaver on.”'
âI see.' He didn't of course, so he looked down at his notebook and repeated, â“Professor Watkinson, Modern History.”'
âI don't know what it was that Moleyns wanted to see him about,' said Miss Linaker. âYou'll have to ask him that.'
âYes, indeed,' said Sloan. âNow â er â miss â madam â perhaps you would be kind enough to tell me where you had come from.⦠I mean, from where had you come.â¦' Sloan hesitated. Even that didn't sound right and he ought to try to get it right here. What was it that their English master used to bawl at them so they would remember â only Sloan hadn't remembered â âA preposition is something you shouldn't end a sentence with.' His intention was clear, that was what mattered. The Superintendent, that master of police English, said that grammar was only difficult when you thought about it. Mind you, the only grammatical point that was ever seriously considered down at the Police Station was that perennially knotty one about why men were hanged while game was hung. He would have liked to have asked the don that.
Instead he said, âI mean, before you met up with Polly Mantle.'
âThe Porter's Lodge,' she said. âI'd been out in the town to see someone. I don't know if it matters who, but it was Mr Pringle, the Librarian. He was out â away, actually â so I came back.'
It was Detective Constable Crosby who was interviewing Polly Mantle and he was enjoying every minute of it.
âThere isn't a lot to tell, Officer,' she told him.
âI'm sorry to hear that, miss,' he said, settling himself comfortably into a chair. She really was a most attractive girl ⦠and he liked being called âOfficer.'
âI was just coming back to my room, you see, when I happened to bump into Miss Linaker.'
âComing back where from?' asked Crosby who â university ambience or not â had ideas of his own on direct speech which were in no way dependent upon considerations of grammar.
âLet me see, now â¦' An engaging dimple appeared as if of its own volition on each of Miss Mantle's nicely rounded cheeks. âIt's been such a funny day what with the sit-in and everything.'
âWe need to know,' said Crosby even more directly. âIt might matter. Now.'
âI'd been working in Bones and Stones,' said the girl readily enough. âI really wanted to use the Library â I've got an essay for Mr Mautby â but they'd closed it.'
âI'm glad to hear it, miss.'
âAre you? Why?'
âThat's where the old gentleman's bust is, isn't it?'
âJacob Greatorex?'
âThe one with the chin and the long hair.'
She nodded vigorously. âThat's right. He looks like Charles the Second but firmer.'
âWe have found that the young gentlemen are inclined to use him as a mascot when they're excited.' To hear him, anyone would think Crosby was old.
The dimples deepened. âI hadn't thought of that.'
âAnd young gentlemen from other universities are in the habit of treating him as a trophy,' said the constable prosaically. He wasn't old. It was just that he'd had to give up those sorts of games earlier than the undergraduates had.
âAh, I see.'