Passion Follows Pain (Passion Series Book 3) (40 page)

“Oh Lucian, I’m so sorry, so sorry I said those awful words to you. I didn’t mean it.” I sobbed. “I was just...I didn’t know what to do when we found Daisy. I felt guilty that I’d been enjoying my time with you and she’d been here all alone and that she’d died alone. We couldn’t have saved her anyway. She died from an aneurysm. The coroner said it would have been instant. Even if I’d been with her, I couldn’t have saved her. She left me everything and I felt guilty for that.” I looked up into his face. “I’ve done nothing for her and yet she wanted to give me her things, her home.” I reached out and touched his cheek but then I felt something, a burning, gnawing feeling low in my stomach. It began to build, getting more and more intense. Suddenly my fangs descended and I gasped, slapping a hand over my mouth.

“It’s ok baby. You’re supposed to have them you know, you’re vampire and you look so damn adorable too.” He kissed my cheek, steering clear of my fangs I noticed.

“Oh god Lucian, this feeling, it’s so strong, it’s building and building and I don’t know how to control it. I’m so hungry. Please I need blood, now, let me have some of yours.” I lunged at his neck.

Quickly he shoved me back and I glared at him. I was starving and he wouldn’t let me feed. I threw him a pouty look and made another lunge at him, but he captured my wrists, holding me at arm’s length.

“I’m sorry but I gave you most of my blood to turn you. I’m hungry too and I don’t have the strength to fight you. If you drink from me now, you will kill me.”

His words were enough to make me stop trying to get to him. “Really? I had no idea but then I guess I hadn’t thought about how you made me vampire. Can I go outside? I want to find someone to drink from. I’m so hungry.”

“No, you can’t go outside and stay away from the windows. Until you have the tattoo like mine.” He pointed to the symbol that kind of looked like a barcode on his neck. “You will burn if you go outside.”

“Will it hurt? To burn I mean? Do I burst into flames straight away?”

“No, it takes time but of course it hurts. Stick your arm in the sun if you don’t believe me.”

I turned to the kitchen window where sunlight was streaming in through it. It wasn’t that I didn’t believe him, but a part of me was dying to see for myself. Slowly I approached it and stuck my arm out. Instantly, there was a loud sizzling sound and smoke rose from my skin. I screamed at the sudden pain and pulled back. As I watched, the damaged skin began to heal and I turned towards Lucian who was watching me. “I did warn you.” He said.

“I want blood still though. I can’t go outside, I can’t feed from you. It’s such a long time until its dark.” I knew my voice was sounding whiny but I couldn’t help it. “Can you go and get me someone to drink from?”

“It’s later than you think. Mid-afternoon I’m guessing from the sun’s position. I will go and try and bring a neighbour here for you. You need to learn how to feed though and to learn control. Fabian will kill you and more than likely me too if you drain someone. He’s anal about making sure we don’t draw attention to ourselves in any way. He’s probably going to be pissed at me for feeding close to home but you can’t go anywhere until it’s dark and Fabian would be sleeping now since its daylight.” He cupped my cheeks in his hands and stared into my eyes. “Can I trust you alone while I go and find you a meal? We will have to share as it’s unlikely I can get two people here, but I’ll see what I can do. Try and behave while I’m gone.” He dropped a quick kiss on my lips.

I snorted. “What could I possibly get up to Lucian? There’s no one else here and I can’t go outside. I gave Milo away so I can’t even drink from the dog.”

He grinned at me. “Yeah well, be good baby.” He said and disappeared out the door.  

While he was gone I wandered around the house. God I was so hungry. Was it always like this? Consumed by this clawing, burning, feeling? Maybe I could eat human food? I’d only just been turned, so perhaps it took a little while for the body to register the difference?

I rushed to the fridge, skirting past the sunlight and opened the door. Instantly the smell from the few sorry items in there assaulted my nostrils and I gagged, beginning to retch. I staggered away from the fridge shuddering. That was definitely not a good idea. Food, human food smelled terrible to me now.

There was no alternative; I was going to have to wait for Lucian to come back. I began to pace restlessly. I don’t know why or what was happening to me but I suddenly felt like a caged animal. I felt strong, there was a feeling of something building inside me and I wasn’t sure what it was or why it was happening. Was this all because I was vampire?

I stopped pacing and rushed to a mirror when my fangs again descended. I was so hungry and Lucian seemed to be taking forever to get back. I stared at my image in my bathroom mirror and my eyes widened at the sight of me.

My skinny, gaunt look was gone. I looked so different and for the first time in my life I felt pretty. My hair hung in shining blonde waves down my back, my skin was flawless and when I lifted my nightie and turned around, tears filled my eyes when I saw the scars from my father’s beatings were all gone. The skin was blemish free.

It wasn’t just that my scars were gone; I was no longer all ribs, hips and spine. I’d been so broken after losing Daisy, then Lucian. I think it had all just become too much for me to cope, and straight after my father kidnapping me, raping and beating me, I’d simply lost the will to keep going. Of course I was the one who turned poor Lucian away and the guilt and pain of that had exacerbated my already fragile mental state. I’d stopped eating, surviving largely on milk, juice and some small amounts of food until it had mostly run out. I knew I’d lost a lot of weight, but I just hadn’t cared despite seeing how horrific my appearance had become. I’d been gaunt, not much more than skin over bone.

Not now though, not now I was vampire. I was still slim but my bones were covered, I had a woman’s body for the first time ever. I had curves and even my breasts appeared slightly fuller and perkier. My eyes were so blue I couldn’t stop staring at them; my lips were plump and my teeth pearly white. As I studied my reflection, for the first time, I felt worthy of Lucian’s love. I felt worthy of being around him and the other stunningly good looking vampires.

I leaned forward to brush my tongue over my fangs and I felt the burning ache sharpen even more in my stomach. Where was Lucian? I was starving.

Just then I heard the door open and I rushed out to see him, nearly skidding to a halt when I saw the two people he had with him. Somehow he’d managed to get us one each. I could see straight away that he had them under mind control, their expressions were blank.

“Wait baby, don’t rush in. I know you’re hungry but we have to take this slowly. When you feed from someone you take their wrist and feel for their pulse. While you feed be sure to monitor it. The moment you feel it skip, even just slightly, you stop. I know control is going to be hard for you, so I will stop you if I think you can’t stop yourself, ok?”

He waited while I picked up the limp arm of one of the humans and felt for the pulse. I didn’t want to do this, I just wanted the blood and suddenly unable to stop I lunged forward and bit down on the man’s neck, moaning softly when his warm, sweet blood flowed into my mouth. God it tasted so good, so amazingly delicious to me.

I drank and drank, nearly dripping blood down the front of myself in my eagerness. When I felt my body being tugged at and dragged away from the human and his nice warm blood, I growled angrily, raising frustrated eyes to Lucian’s.

“No, I’m not done. I’m still hungry.” I protested and tried to get back to the human and the blood that was welling up from the puncture wounds in his neck.

“I know baby. It’s hard at first, but you will kill him if you don’t stop, and then Fabian will kill you. I can’t lose you again. You have to learn control or you will not survive. Please, it’s not necessary to feed until you feel full. We aren’t like humans. We don’t need that full feeling you get from eating a big meal. Blood is different and although we need it to survive, we don’t need vast quantities of it.” Lucian explained and I tried to listen to him but now I’d had a taste of the blood, I wanted more, and all I could hear as he spoke was the beating hearts of the young couple he’d brought for us. The swishing sound I heard which confused me at first was the sound of the blood being pumped around their bodies and it excited me, it turned me on, oh god, it turned me on.

As I met Lucian’s eyes, suddenly my desire for the blood disappeared as quickly as it had come and now I wanted him. I wanted sex, I needed him to fuck me, really fuck me. It was rising in me, rapidly; a desire, a feeling like my body was on fire although it wasn’t and it couldn’t since I was dead.

I saw Lucian’s eyes widen and he gave a barely discernible shake of his head. “God Arissa, don’t look at me like that.” He moaned.

“Look at you like what?” I stepped towards him.

“You’re looking at me like you want to fuck me.” He said huskily. “I need to feed and get these people home. Let me do that, and then we can do whatever you want to do.”

“But I do want to fuck you and I don’t want to wait.” I reached up to pull his head down to mine so I could kiss him but he resisted me.

“No, I need to feed. You took most of my blood when I turned you. I want to fuck you, don’t doubt that.” He took my hand and pressed it to his groin and I could feel how hard he was through his jeans. “Be patient, just wait and enjoy the anticipation of what is to come.” He smiled at me and I made a noise which wasn’t very polite and stormed off, throwing myself onto the lounge. I heard Lucian’s laughter. “Don’t pout baby. You’ll get lines on your face.”

That got my attention. I was a vampire now. I shouldn’t age or get lines or anything. I frowned at him and saw the glint of humour in his eyes. Dammit, he was messing with me. He winked just before lowering his head and biting into the neck of the young woman he’d found and I watched him feed, smelling the blood. I felt the little tingle, that feeling that I already recognised as my fangs wanting to descend, but I fought the feeling off and managed to stop them coming down.

Fortunately Lucian fed quickly and once he was done, he bit a finger enough to make himself bleed and smeared it over the puncture marks on the necks of both the man and woman.  

“I’m going to take them home now. Do you think you can behave until I get back; then we can do whatever you would like to do? You’ve done very well for your first hours as a vampire. Soon you will find out just what it means to be one, what if feels like. If I taught you to like sex while you were human, you are in for a treat to experience it now you’ve changed. You will finally understand for yourself why the blood and sex are so important and why to feed while fucking feels so good. Now I must go. I won’t be long.” He said before leading the man and woman down the hallway and out of the house. I heard the door close and longed to go and watch him, to see where he’d found the humans, but I couldn’t risk being affected by the sunlight, so I had no choice but to sit and wait for him. I just hoped he wouldn’t take long because I wanted him. My desire for him burned through me with almost overwhelming intensity.

Lucian said sex between two vampires was an unbelievable experience and if this feeling surging through me now was any indication, I had no doubt I would be in for the experience of a lifetime when he finally came back to the house.

Chapter Twenty Six

Lucian

Lucian rushed the young couple home that he’d managed to mind control and use to feed them both. He’d chosen a home from right down the end of their road, got lucky straight away by telling them he was having car trouble, and they’d both stepped outside. It had only taken a couple of minutes to mind control them and put them into a trance. Fabian would not be happy that he’d hunted so close to home but it was a desperate situation with Arissa, and he couldn’t take her outside in the daytime until she had the tattoo.

Once he’d wiped their minds clean, he gave them the memories of a chance meeting while he was out walking. He wasn’t going to overcomplicate it, it wasn’t necessary. It worked, they were none the wiser, and he hurried back to Arissa, desperate to get out of the sun which was starting to irritate his skin. The tattoos might allow them to walk in the daylight but it still caused a mild burning feeling and enough that he wanted to get inside.

Of course it wasn’t just because of the sun it was because his angel was waiting for him. Since she was a very new vampire he didn’t entirely trust her alone plus she’d made it extremely clear that she wanted him. He recognised that clawing, desperate feeling they experienced as new vampires. Everything was overwhelming at first; the blood lust and the lust, an all-consuming desperation to fuck. He’d been there and now Arissa was there. Lucky for him, he got to help with that little problem of hers and fuck her until she was satisfied.

Sex with her had been amazing while she was human but now as vampire, it was going to blow his mind. He wouldn’t have to hold back for fear of hurting her and she would get to see just how hot sex got now she was vampire. The frenzy to fuck and feed was powerful and he just wanted to hurry back to her house so he could give her exactly what she needed, him.

When he walked into the house and shut the door, he noticed it seemed darker inside. He grinned to himself. Arissa had probably shut the curtains and blinds to avoid accidental exposure to the sun. His expression sobered when his thoughts turned to his sire. God, if Fabian disapproved of what he’d done, he wasn’t sure what he would do. He’d done what he had to do to save the woman he loved. She was dying, he’d had no option but to make her vampire. He just hoped that Fabian would accept that and not retaliate in some way or punish him or her for that matter. He could do that. Deny Arissa the tattoo so she’d be condemned to hiding in the shadows and the night forever.