Payback (17 page)

“So
you’re okay? Uh, over.”

“I was just about to contact you. It’s slow going out here
. I’ve got a few problems, so I need to get back to work. Over.”

“What problems?”

“I’ll be too busy to call in at noon, so I’ll call back at one…just give me the extra fifteen minutes before you start screaming at me over the radio. Over and out.”

Pacing
back and forth, this didn’t feel right. He was alone and had problems.  I needed to get out to him. I went into the kitchen and made several sandwiches, put four on a plate, along with a dozen cookies and some fruit, and then wrapped it in plastic wrap. Scribbling a note on the door for the boys, it let them know that lunch was on the table and to help themselves to anything they wanted to drink.

I packed a sandwich, several apples
, and a couple of bottles of water before bundling up and saddling a horse. Carrying the radio and the map, I set out, following what was left of the snowmobile tracks after the wind had blown the fresh powder around. At one o’clock, he announced that he was alive and signed off before I could answer.

It was a clear day, but at 1:30
, I was still slugging through the snow, the horse stepping into some drifts over three feet high. Occasionally, I had to get off Jupiter and pull him out of the deeper drifts. I was up on one of the mountains and was just starting my descent when I looked up and could see the gulch down below me. There was a speck of dark against the white snow. As I got closer, I could see it was Caden working on the fence which had come down in numerous places. 

When he saw me, he stopped in his tracks and put his fists on his hips. It took me another ten minutes to reach him
, as I slowly made my way down into the valley. When the horse finally reached the valley, Caden shook his head, his face both angry and curious.

“What the hell are you doing out here?”

“I thought you could use an extra pair of hands.”

He sighed and looked down at the fence and then back at me.
He wanted to send me back, but he needed the help and I was there. “Get your ass down here and hold this post up for me.”

“Can I eat a sandwich?  I haven’t had lunch.”

“Make it quick.”

I pulled out my sandwich and water and began to chug
them down. “I have extra apples. Do you want one?”

“Not yet.
I just ate everything you packed.  Maybe later.”

I scarfed down the sandwich, took a swig of water
, and pulled off my riding gloves and put on the work gloves I had brought.  Holding the pole allowed him to attach the fencing much faster than before. Helping him had definitely speeded things up. I was standing, holding the post,when a moose wandered through the pines about ten yards from us
.
It had huge antlers and was taller than Caden. 

“Oh! Caden,” I whispered, “there’s a moose over there!”

He glanced over and then went right back to work.  “Yeah, that’s great.” But he sounded anything but interested.

“But
a moose is watching us!” I had seen moose in the area before but not quite as close as this. It was exciting to me.

Hunched down, Caden looked up at me and could see how excited I was. A smile broke out and he shook his head. “Marie, if I took time to gawk at all the critters around here, I’d
never get anything done. Moose will charge if they think you’re threatening them, but he seems content to watch so I’m just going to keep working here, okay?” He started to pull wire through loops in the posts and then stopped. “Now, if you see a bear, let me know.”

The excitement dissipated from my face. I nodded and looked away, pretending I was no longer interested in the handsome voyeur who stood watching us. The moose moved on but was eventually replaced by several elk. I kept wishing I had a camera to record all of this. Caden continued to work without taking a break
, and I could feel the gulch growing colder as the sun dodged behind the mountain around two-thirty.

“Crap. I don’t know if I’m going to get this done today.”

“Does it have to be today?”

“We need to move the cattle. There’s a storm coming tomorrow night with high winds. This gulch will protect them from the winds and keep them warmer.”

“Can I do anything to speed it along?”

“I want you to get on that end and pull tight on the wire while I pull tight on this end and attach it. Okay?”

I pulled with all my weight, as Caden pulled on the other end. He reached into his back pocket for the crimpers, and when he did, the wire slipped out of his left hand. With the release on the tension, I went flying backwards, doing a somersault in the snow and landing like a snow angel on my back. 

Caden was standing over me, his big blue eyes even bigger than usual. He watched to see if I was okay
, and when I propped myself up on my elbows, his smile grew wide and sounds of amusement escaped from mouth. It started as a muffled snicker and rolled into a full belly laugh. I finally stood up, but Caden was now crumpled over in pain from laughing so hard. He couldn’t stop.

I started laughing too, my bruised ego quickly healed by the sight of him laughing. Together
, we laughed for a full five minutes, each trying to stop, only to start again when the other couldn’t control their laughter. It reached a point where we both had to catch our breath, and that allowed us to get control.

“Damn, I’ve got to pee,” he said
, as he wiped tears from his eyes.

“Me too.”

“Don’t go too far. The grizzlies are asleep, but the black bear still show up now and then.”

I went over to the nearest tree and d
id my business behind it, although I still kept an eye on him to make sure he was where he could reach his rifle if we needed it. He took a quick pee a few yards from the fence out in the gulch, keeping an eye out on the tree where I was squatting. We both met a few minutes later, and I handed him the pocket hand sanitizer I had just used. He rolled his eyes, but took it and used it anyway.

Just after three
, the two boys showed up with the cattle and then took off back to their truck to make it home before the storm. Caden and I finished up at four. When he looked at his watch, he winced. “Christ, you’re not going to make it back on the horse before dark. You’ll have to take the snowmobile back and I’ll ride the horse.”

I frowned. “You’re joking, right?  I don’t know how to ride a sno
wmobile. I’ll ride Jupiter back. We’ll be okay.”

He shook his head. “
I don’t want you getting hurt. I’ll lead the way on the snowmobile so that it packs down the snow. You follow. I’ll go as slow as I can.”

“Okay.”

“It’s going to get cold because there’s no cloud cover, so here.” He pulled the scarf off from around his neck and put it around mine, tying it as he looked into my eyes. I held my breath. The man looking down at me didn’t hate me. His face was full of the kindness that I used to know. In some ways, it was worse than seeing him seething with disgust because it made me long for the Caden who had loved me so much. It drove home just what I had lost. After he finished, he gave me half a smile and then gestured for me to get on the horse. “If you have a problem, contact me through the radio, okay?”

“Sure.”

“We better get going.”

“Caden?”

“What?”

“I hope you don’t expect food
on the table when you get home,” I teased.

He grinned and then motioned again for me to get on the horse. Because the sky was clear, it was still light out
, even though the temperature was dropping steeply. Caden was turning in his seat to watch me as he packed down the snow with the snowmobile. A half hour later it was dark and we were still making our way home. The snowmobile’s light lit the way, and soon we were in the barn putting Jupiter in his stall and giving him a feed sack of food.

“You go get warm
and scrounge us up some dinner. I’ll finish here.”

I went in and pulled out some beef stroganoff that I had frozen and heated it. By the time Caden had washed up and was sitting at the table, I had put a plate of stroganoff, peas
, and French bread in front of him, along with a glass of water.

“Would you like hot coffee, tea,
wine, hot chocolate?”

“Water’s fine.”

“I put your scarf on the peg in the mudroom.  Thanks, it was nice and warm.”

“Why did you come out today?”

“You sounded frustrated on the walkie-talkie and I thought that you might need some help.”

“I would have thought you’d enjoy seeing me distressed.”

I had my plate in my hand and was about to go downstairs. “Well, whether I deserve your constant punishment or not is open for debate.  But even though you’ve been downright cruel to me, I’ve never really wanted you to suffer. No matter what, I care about you and want you to be happy.” I started towards the stairs.

“Wh
y don’t you sit and eat with me.”

My stomach flittered a little.
“Are you sure?”

“Sit.”

I went over and sat across from him. There was no casual chat or banter, but at least I hadn’t been banished to the dungeon to eat my food. Two of the three fireplaces in the house, the living room and downstairs, had roaring fires that Caden had started when he came in from the barn. My body finally thawed out, so I decided to go down, take a shower and get in bed and read. After climbing under the covers on the couch, I was surprised to hear footsteps on the stairs and then Caden’s head dipped down to talk to me while still halfway up the steps. 

He showed no emotion as he asked, “Did you get birth control?”

I nodded.

“Would you like to make three hundred tonight?”

I felt my blood drain. It was one thing to be duped into prostitution, another to go willingly. But three hundred dollars would mean I would be three days closer to getting home. I picked up the blanket on the couch for him to join me.

“I’m not
doing this on a sofa.  Come upstairs when you’re ready.”

I nodded.

Sitting up, I took a few deep breaths and tried to calm myself. I was shaking and my stomach was turning. In my fantasy, I kept hoping that he’d treat our time together with more sensitivity. The day had been so pleasant. There was no denying that we had enjoyed each other’s company. Could it be that he was thawing?

I walked
slowly up to his room like Ann Boleyn going to the ax. The room was dark except for a lamp on the side table. The jeans he had been wearing were in a heap on the floor by the bathroom door. The water was still running in the shower.

I wasn’t sure if I should get undressed or wait for him. I decided to get ready
, so I took off my gown and crawled into the bed, pulling the sheets up over my bare breasts.

He came out
without a towel. It was the first time I had seen his naked body since we broke up. Even though he wasn’t in the gym every day, his muscles were just as defined, and he still had a narrow waist and hips that made him look incredibly sexy. There was a little more hair on his chest, but otherwise, he was still as enticing as ever. Even his package, which hung several inches down his leg, was pleasing to look at.

He followed my gaze to his penis. “My eyes are up here.”

I smiled. 

“Are you naked?”
he asked.

“Yes.”

“Put your gown back on.”

I cocked my head and lifted a brow but
climbed out and did what he said. 

“You can get back in bed.”

Once again, I did as he asked. The sheets were cool, but his body, now next to mine, was warm and comforting. His long fingers slipped between my legs, separating the lips to my sex.  I thought he might pleasure me, but that wasn’t what he wanted.  Rolling onto my body, he grabbed his erection and slid the head of his penis between my slit.

“I’m a little dry.”

“Shhh. Don’t talk,” he said, looking into my eyes. 

I tried to kiss him, but he pulled back as if I had spit in his eye. “Don’t! Don’t kiss me; don’t talk to me, just
turn your face to the wall and hold still.  I’m not making love to you, I’m paying for satisfaction. All I want is sex, understand?”

I clenched my eyes closed
before the tears could spill out. Turning my head away, I stared at the wall while he banged into me with such force and without lubrication that I actually bled a little from the tearing. When he came inside me, he rolled over and said nothing. I jumped out of bed and ran down the stairs and into the bathroom, where I wretched into the toilet until there was nothing left to throw up. This was not the Caden I had known years ago. This Caden’s feelings could turn on a dime.

The next morning
, he was awake before me and had already deducted the three hundred from my account. Looking at the board, I calculated that if I slept with him once or twice a week, I could leave Montana around the beginning of April. It became my goal to entice him into bed on a regular basis.   It required that I subtly arouse Caden so that he’d want to hire my services.