Penitence (2010) (21 page)

dont care. Its realthe way I feel. And its not like what Ive felt before. Its real, Zoe. His honesty silenced me. Oddly, his admittance didnt scare me or turn me off. Rather, the pureness touched me. I covered his hands with mine, hoping to calm any fears he might have in admitting such a deep feeling. He kissed me again, with sweet respect and gentleness, before letting me go. My cheeks cooled in the absence of his flesh. He got out of the car and opened my door. Inside, the warmth of home coddled me. The house was silent. Everyone was in bed, and that was fine. My blood sang. I needed time alone to fantasize about Weston. Smiling, I took the stairs up, glad what had started out as a great night, then morphed into a horrifically frightening party, had now ended wonderfully. Thoughts of the party, of Chase and Krissy, stole a little of my effervescence. I hoped they were okay. I tugged out my phone and texted Chase. u still there? I crept down the hall, passing Abrias darkened room, on the way to my bedroom. I hoped Chase had listened to me and had the brains to see that Krissy, drunk as shed gotten, was not herself and that hed left the place. As I approached my bedroom, I glanced at Lukes. A dull light shone underneath his closed door. At least he was home. That was good. Just as that thought left me, a strong presence came at me from the direction of his bedroom. Heavy, thick and foreboding. I froze in the dark hall, taken over by an icy shudder. I stared at the door. I should check on him, but fear danced in my pumping blood. Slowly, I crossed the carpet to his door and knocked. Nothing. Luke? I made sure my whisper was loud enough to go beyond the door but not awaken anyone else. No answer. I turned the knob and eased the door open. Here, foreboding submerged me. My grip on the knob tightened. Luke? I stepped into his room, the air dense with the same wet dread Id felt at the party. My heart started to pound. I closed the door, not wanting to awaken Mom and Dad. Half of his room was lit by a Tiki lamp hanging next to his bed, the rest remained in darkness, corners appearing deep and black. Luke sat on the floor, his back propped against the bed, legs crossed, gaze staring straight ahead. Littered around him was an empty Vodka bottle and an open, near-empty bag of weed, along with wisps of white paper, burnt to stubs and some burned fabric softener sheets to mask the scent of marijuana. Youre smoking in the house now? And drinking? I hissed, planting myself in front of him. He didnt move, just sat like a half-dead soldier after war. Another shudder shook my spine. Why did I feel such wretchedness? My eye caught movement in the blackness of one corner. Alberts shadowed form inched into my vision just enough that his menacing presence stole my breath. I took a step back. Did you think I was finished with you, Zoe? His voice slithered into the air. An invisible hand seemed to have my voice in its clutches. My mouth opened, but, once again, I wasnt able to produce any words. Albert moved out into the open and soon, he circled mehis feet not touching the floor like an angry eel ready to sink his fangs into my soul. He wore the same sleek suit Id seen him in at the partycomplete with that disgusting tiemaking him look like some kind of macabre jewelry salesman from Las Vegas. In spite of the fear running rampant in my body, I smirked. His eyebrow lifted just enough that I knew he wondered where I got the nerve at a moment like this to smirk at him. I took a deep breath, searched for bravery and lifted my chin. Get out of my house. He stopped beside Luke. The corners of his lips lifted. I heard you had spunk. I like that. So does my son, apparently. I live here, Luke muttered, his tongue sounded thick. Im not talking to you, I snapped. Its your fault this demon freak is here. You invited him, you moron. My eyes shot wide at my words. What had gotten into me? Anger. I was spouting off like a hot geyser. Luke lifted his head. I couldnt see his eyes through his shaggy blonde hair but I didnt need to, he was hard-baked. Want one? I kicked at his near-empty bags and burnt rolls. No, I dont want one, you friggin loser. Anger roared through my blood, filling every vessel taut with the need to lash out and pound Luke with my fists, gnash at him with words, pummeling his spirit until nothing was left. Albert smiled. He moved closer to Luke, substance no obstruction for his essence as he slowly circled Luke now. Again, again. Evil was so thick, I was breathing it in, making it a part of me. I couldnt let Albert taunt me. Warmth bore into my back and a glorious, clear light beamed into the darkening room, tearing through the black wickedness encroaching on Luke and me. I turned. Matthias. His crystal blue eyes fastened on Albert. Leave. Albert tossed back his head in a laugh. Son Leave. No sound of emotion, no trace of a childs disappointment in a wayward parent. Only a command: pure, simple and profound. Alberts icy blue eyesso like Matthias, yet worlds differentslid to mine. Im not here to take Luke in your place, Zoe. Ill take you both. Matthias stretched out his hand and the room vibrated with a cleansing wash of light and energy. His face, serene, yet intense and sure, drew taut, his eyes pinning his father. In a burst of white fire, Albert was gone. Lukes head rolled forward. He let out a chainsaw snore. My breath, which Id held in my chest, blew out. My body sagged and I collapsed onto the foot of Lukes bed. Matthias moved close. I yearned for him to reach out and touch me, calm me, but his hands hung anxiously at his sides. Concern flecked his blue eyes. Im sorry. My limbs quaked. I... I. My voice trembled. I hadnt noticed how afraid I was, but fear seemed a resident in me now. That was... he... scared me. Matthias nodded and sat next to me, close enough that his aura swamped me with comfort and my bunched nerves, the jangling in my limbs began to subside. His efforts will be relentless, Zoe. He will never stop. I gasped, my breath was just starting to smooth from a rapid tap to a steady drum beat. Meeting Matthias sober gaze stalled the air in my chest. His countenance grayed. What? I was more afraid of his answer than I had been in Alberts presence. Something was coming, heaviness clouded the tranquil air. He will come after you and everyone you love... as long as you are important to me. For a moment, I stared at him, sure my frightened, vivid imagination had created the horrible possibility now playing in my head. But the look of absolute sobriety in Matthias blue eyes confirmed my worst fears. I dont care. I do. I can handle this. Zoe I stood. You cant leave me. My heart tore. I dont care what he does to me. You cant go away. I wont be able to live without you being here... I... Every cell in my body rebelled at the idea, buckling, and my body crumpled back to the bed in a weak, useless heap of threatening sobs. I rolled onto my side, weighted down with the most overwhelming sorrow Id ever had take over my soul. Worse than death. I heard nothing but my wracked tormentthe anticipation of never seeing him again so enormous, I might as well have been crushed by a mountain and buried alive. Please, please tell me that is not what you are thinking. Please. Silence. I jerked my head left. Matthias hadnt moved, but sat watching me in mirrored anguish. Yet his countenance was not as tormented as mine. He didnt sob, though his blue eyes glistened with compassion. A permanent knot held his firm jaw tight. Closed. No words of consolation. The truth had been delivered in terrible silence to my heart. Its the only way, he said softly. No. More tears. More sobs. His voice carried the words into the air now, making his declaration real and totally unacceptable to me. I brought my legs up, curled into the fetal position. No. No. No. No. Zoe. Impossibility dragged time on. Id thought I had solved thisthat Matthias would always be a part of my life somehow. Why was this coming back to tear me apart? Its the only way. I bolted upright, swiping my teary face with my hands. No. I dont care what he does to me. Or to anyone else. I want you here. Abria needs you! Matthias let out a sigh and glanced at Luke. Then his gaze met mine again. None of this would have happened if Id kept my heart in check. I reached out to touch him and his blue eyes fastened on my outstretched hand. My hand stopped. I wouldnt change any of whats happened. Even Albert. You coming into our lives was the best thing for us all. You know that, right? Had I known my father would come after you, I would never have placed you in such a precarious position. I know. I believe you. Anguish over the decision pounded his ache through my body. Please dont feel bad about it, please. Still, this does not change what is real. He will continue to pursue you and your family, Zoe. You can keep him away from us. Did you see how easy it was for you to get rid of him? His blue eyes lit with a smile. Thats because good has absolute power over evil. When my eyes widened, he nodded. Theyre a misled lot, the hosts of Satan. Misled by the great deceiver himself. Evil really cant win? Ever? Never. But that wont stop them. Theyll take whoever they can get... sadly, there are always misguided souls who lose sight of whats real and good and buy into his lies. Lies are tailor made, Zoe. As precious as a soul is to God, that same soul is just as valuable to the other side, and theres a fierce battle on both sides to win. But if they cant win, why do they keep trying? I told you, theyve been lied to. So thats why Albert leaves when you tell him to? He nodded. He must. Its an eternal law. Evil must bow to Good. That must make Albert happy, I snorted. He hates it. Matthias grinned. Then his grin dissolved. My father. Matthias averted his gaze. The sorrow he carried each and every moment for a man he had loved sent a throb of loss through my body. Im sorry hes... not more like you. What happened to him? Matthias held my gaze steadilywith only a trace of pain. Inside, I didnt feel the remorse Id felt before echo through him. I wondered why he didnt answer my question and why I couldnt see any more memories. Matthias thought came into my head. I have hope that sometime he will see the error hes committed, but Im bound to the eternal law to defend Good and those I love. He really thinks he will take me? Matthias nodded. And your loved ones. I glanced at Luke, his head rolled to the side, body slumped in sleep, his soft snores filling the air. Luke is vulnerable as long as he makes himself weak, isnt he? Matthias nodded. Why cant Luke see whats happening to him? Like I said, lies come tailor made to entice our weaknesses and make us weaker. I reached out and petted Lukes head, feeling helpless. Why cant you protect Luke from all of this? Luke has strengths he has yet to discover, Zoe, and he will, when he digs deep enough. I let out a sigh. You sure about that? Very. What about... me? A long moment of love tied our hearts together in silent union. Why am I forced to not have you in my life? Not forced. It feels like that. Itd be so much easier if you were my guardian. Then I could see yoube with you, and Albert would be the one forced to stay away. Matthiass blue eyes sharpened. Easier for whom? How about for everyone involved? It sounds to me like the most absolute way of making sure Albert never comes near me again is if you are my guardian. He stared at me a moment, his expression ponderous. I told you why I chose not to be your guardian. Because you care about me Love, Zoe. I swallowed. A sober expression remained fixed on his face. Feelings collided inside of me: comfort, serenity and peace that always accompanied Matthias presence, but a thread of longinghismale and strong, twined with my own female longing for him. Sweet misery. Thats what I would face should I step in as your guardian again. I couldnt ask him to spend his lifehis existence, or part of it anywaywatching me frolic through mortality while he stood in the background. Guilt made me avert my gaze from his. Frolic? He chuckled, bringing my eyes to his. Its true. I refuse to be selfish. Sorry I mentioned it. Zoe. He inched closer on the bed. His nearness sent a flood of yearning through my blood. If I am your guardian, youll be protected against Albert. He will continue to have access to those around you, but only if hes invited. Theres no point in talking about it. No way am I putting you in torture mode. I wont do that to you. Matthias lips lifted slightly. Sassy bearcat. This isnt funny. I jumped to my feet, paced. Life is so freaking long. I crossed my arms against my thumping heart. Why did I survive that accident? We could be together now, not here, worrying about some psychotic devil who wants my soul. Warm strength pressed into my back. Matthias stood so close I caught the familiarand missedscent of him. I closed my eyes and breathed him in. As much as I wanted him to lay his hands on my shoulders at that moment and make me his, I couldnt knowing he would see me go on about my life and my lovesfrom a distance. I told you before, the heart has a great capacity for love. His calming voice melted into my soul. You shouldntand wont bedenied anything, most especially not love in this life. But I already have love. You. The kind of love a man and a woman share, Zoe. My body tingled. In my head, images flashed of Matthias and I, kissing, touchingengaged in completing mortal love. Fire raced under my skin. Ashamed my human mind had drifted to the fantasy, I stepped away from him and kept my face averted. More humiliating was the fact that hed no doubt seen the image in my head. I wanted to dissolve. What could I say? The thought had appeared, just like millions of thoughts in my life, only when Id had them before theyd been the fruits of a very lost girl who saw sex as a cure-all, not a sacred expression of commitment. I shook my head. You should go now. The desperate silence between us thickened. All right. Propped against the bed, Luke let out a blubbering snort and his head rolled to the other side. I blew out a breath. I put frustration aside and turned to watch Matthias go. Goodnight. His blue eyes didnt leave mine, even through the flash of blinding white light that took him. A sigh eased out of my chest. My cell phone vibrated in my pocket. I dug for it, too pleased to be annoyed that someone would have the audacity to call me at one a.m. Chase. Bradys in the hospital. Twenty-One "What? What happened? I dont know, Chase panted. I wasnt there, I mean, I was in the other room. The next thing I know, Brittany comes through the house screaming. She was hysterical. Nobody understood what she was talking about. The sound of shouting voices and commotion scraped through the line. Its bad, Zoe. Oh no. She dragged me to this room and Brady was on the floor with a tie around his neck. What?! My heart jumped. Yeah. Man, it was awful. He