Penned (5 page)

“It was, Ms. Smith.”

“Great.”

She walked the short distance back to her car with a big smile and drove inside the now open gates. The size of the house took her breath away again.

I am so out of my league. Renn has to know it, but he wants me here.

Then she realized something.

He's a recluse, and contacting a woman via letter in this day and age is a bit strange. Maybe he has troubles of his own.

Money didn't insulate anyone from hard times, grief, being misunderstood or lonely—or from heartache. Not really.

James opened the front door when she knocked. “Hello, Ms. Smith.” He bowed low.

“Hello, James.”

“Right this way.” He led her back the way she'd come before, and her palms grew slick at the thought of what had happened in the pleasure dome last time around.

I must be crazy. I should have said no.

With every step she mounted, her doubt grew.

When they reached the landing, she stopped well behind James, in front of the heavy, oak door.

“Go right in. He's waiting for you.” James gave her a kind smile.

“Thank you,” she whispered and turned the knob.

“Pam, I'm glad you came.” Renn walked toward her, looking so good she couldn't speak. The room flickered with what seemed like a thousand candles—just as it had the last time she'd been there.

It is romantic.

But the memory of being naked and open to him before made her cringe.

Or should it? What does he really want from me?

He took her hand as if reading her thoughts and led her to the same table she'd eaten dessert at alone on her last visit.

“Thanks.” She pushed the word out and smiled as he pulled her chair out.

“I hope this is all to your liking. I realized I didn't even ask in my letter.” Steaming bowls of soup lay before them along with sparkling champagne and water.

“It's fine. Wonderful, in fact.” She gave him a sideways glance.

The dark blue polo shirt he wore set off his matching eyes, and his wavy, black hair shimmered in the candlelight.

“Good. I hope you feel comfortable here, Pam.”

His voice was like a warm caress.

He speaks so softly, not like most men. He's gentle, but there's a dark side to him. A sweet, sexy man with a whip.

A tremor ran through her at the thought of him wielding it.

“I do—well, as much as is possible after my last visit.” She pulled a face.

He laughed softly. “I enjoyed it.”

She spooned soup into her mouth, avoiding his gaze.

“I didn't. Well...”

“Not all of it, you mean?” A hint of playfulness entered his tone, and he brushed his hair back as he drank champagne.

“Yeah. Exactly.”

“I'm sorry you were embarrassed. There's no reason to be.”

She laughed, putting her spoon down. “Really?”

“Really. I like you, Pam. I'm glad I found the wrong Pam.” He leaned back in his chair, biting his lip as he gazed at her.

Heat flooded her. “Oh.”

He laughed. “I know. I'm pretty direct. I don't believe in beating around the bush with what I'm thinking or feeling. Life's too short.”

“Right. But this is ridiculous.” Her throat was tight.

“What? This?” He spread his arms out. “Dinner?”

“No. You and I. You're younger than me. You're wealthy. It's ludicrous.”

He waved her words away, growing silent as James appeared like a ghost to take away their bowls and set down plates of roast, potatoes, and asparagus.

“Thank you, James.” Renn said.

The other man bowed and slipped out of the room.

“It's not ludicrous. I liked you from the moment I saw you, Pam, even when I saw that you were... changed.” He grinned.

“Right. As in not the Pam you expected.” She gave him a wry grin.

“Exactly, but maybe even better.” He cocked his head, studying her until her face grew warm.

She cleared her throat. “So, what's with you? Living here like you do? It's only been a few months, but everyone in town calls you a recluse.” Pam heard the sting of cruelty in her own words, but she wanted to test him, to see who he really was.

“Well, I am.” His words were so soft, she could hardly hear them.

“But why? You have everything and could do anything you want. Why lock yourself away? I'll admit, it's a nice prison, but still.” She took a bite of the roast.

“Sure. I wish I didn't have to do what I do. I'm afraid.” He sighed. “I have agoraphobia and have for years. It doesn't respond well to treatment. That's the reason the other Pam and I broke up the first time around. I'll go on a big trip once a year, but even with therapy leading up to it, it's difficult for me.”

“I see.” Shame coursed through her at pushing him with her question.

“Not really. I'm a pain in the ass to live with for that reason. At least I was to a woman like the other Pam.” He grimaced, his handsome features marred for a moment.

“I can imagine, maybe.”

“I do go out several times a year shopping and the like though.”

She nodded. “That's good.” She didn't know what else to say. She'd never met a real recluse.

I wouldn't mind being locked up with him here for a while. But how would being here with him all the time feel?

Pam let her gaze trail down his face and chest.

The other Pam is crazy. Agoraphobia or not.

“I know. You don't know what to say. I'm used to it.” He forked a piece of asparagus and shrugged.

“I guess I don't. When did it start?”

He frowned. “Years ago after my first business failed and my parents died, leaving me all this money. People started pulling at me, trying to use me—or at least I thought they were. I don't know anymore.” Renn shrugged. “It's made meeting people, especially women, difficult. Most are after my money, and they'll pursue me to a point. Then they give up when they realize multiple trips around the world aren't going to happen and that they won't be seen on my arm all the time.” His last words were a snarl.

“Right.” Her heart squeezed in sympathy.

“But you seem different than most women I've met. Are you, Pam? What's your story?” He pushed his plate away, and the heat of his gaze seared her.

“I'm a lawyer. I grew up poor and have worked hard to get where I am. I like to control my own destiny. That's about it.” She didn't enjoy talking about herself.

When's the last time a man's even been interested in me?

“I don't think so. I think there's a lot more to you than meets the eye. I know you're deep and passionate—and adventurous.” Renn winked at her.

James reappeared with a tray of desserts.

Pam smiled when she noticed they were the same ones as last time.

After he'd left, Renn grinned. “I hope you really do like these.”

“I do.”

“Back to you. I'm not letting you off the hook that easily.” He took a generous slice of a tart and put it on his plate.

“Me? Not much to say other than what I told you.”

“But you're still single?” He pursed his lips.

“I am.” She sliced into a piece of chocolate pie, taking half for her plate.

“Sure you don't want more?” He nodded toward the desserts.

“Have you seen the size of my ass?” She asked the question in a pointed manner, knowing the answer but feeling bold.

“I have, and I like it.” He dropped his fork with a rattle against the plate.

“Oh.” Heat tingled along her spine.

“So why are you still single?”

“Nothing's worked out for me. I didn't mean for it to be this way.” Tears sprang to her eyes, unbidden.

What is it with this man? I barely know him, but I to spill everything to him.

“I didn't either, not for me. I thought I'd be married with kids by now.” Renn finished his cake with a sigh.

“Right. Well, you're young. You have time.”

He shook his head. “Like I told you, most women don't want to deal with me.”

“I find that hard to believe.” Tension crackled between them, and he licked his lips. “So, why the whips and the rest?”

Renn didn't flinch. “I like it. I like the power and control and the vulnerability of it—for the women I feel are worth knowing me better.”

Pam shivered at his words, at the way he was looking at her. Her head felt pleasantly light after a glass of champagne.

“You only let a few in to your inner sanctum, your pleasure dome?” She leaned back in her chair.

“Yes, Pam was the second. The first relationship was short-lived for reasons I've expressed, though I did care about her. The sentiment wasn't returned.” Renn's knee touched hers, and her breath hitched.

His hands moved to her leg, caressing her inner thigh. She closed her eyes, remembering the blindfold and the whip.

“Pam,” he whispered the word, and the air moved as he rose.

“Yes?”

“I can't believe those letters were for nothing, that they came to you by chance. Why did you take the risk of coming here when you knew you weren't the Pam I was writing to?

She paused, suddenly shy.

“You can tell me.” He stood behind her, and she felt silk wrap around her eyes.

The blindfold.

And she wanted it, needed to surrender to him. She was always so in control of her days.
What would it be like to give someone else the control?

“I was bored, lonely, and I wanted to feel alive again. It's been too long since I have. And when I saw you at the door, I wanted to know you, even though it was risky.”

“I'm glad you decided to take the chance,” he whispered, running his fingers along her hip bone. “I just don't think that we're together for no reason—that this is a stupid, embarrassing thing that happened.”

“I don't believe in fate.” She bit the words out, her throat sore with tears she was holding back.

Why is he getting to me? He's just a kid—a messed-up kid.

He laughed. “Doesn't matter if that's what it is.” He stroked the back of her neck. His lips found the same spot, and he sucked and kissed her until she panted for more.

But he doesn't kiss like a kid. Not at all.

“Come. Let me take control.”

“What?” She half-laughed, trying to hide her desire to do as he said. “We barely know each other.”

He shrugged. “We do. We've been writing each other, and you know my secrets—more than anyone else in this town does about me.” Renn took her hand. “Give me a chance, Pam.”

She nodded. “I don't usually do this.”

He smiled. “What? Make love with someone you hardly know?”

“Yeah. That.”

He traced a pattern on her hand. “We'll stop any time you want to. Things don't have to go all the way unless you want them to.”

His voice held a promise, and she knew there would be no stopping herself with him. A shiver snaked up her spine as he pulled her up from the chair and led her through the dark room.

“Stop.” He picked her up, and she folded herself into him, not wanting him to let go. He was a world of spice and ocean, of safety and of giving over control.

Renn laid her on the bed a moment later.

“I'm going to tie you up. If anything feels wrong to you, say ‘dessert’, and I'll stop.”

She said nothing, just nodded again, a tear sliding down her cheek at how vulnerable she felt—and how he seemed to truly see her.

Renn straddled her, lifted her arms above her head and tied each to the bedposts with silken material.

Her breath came in gasps as he encircled her nape and kissed her. The possessive nature of the gesture excited her, and she pushed her tongue against his, reveling in the heat of his mouth.

He moaned, his lips traveling to the hollow of her throat. He nipped at her, and she gasped.

That's going to leave a mark.

But she didn't care.

She wanted to touch him, and that made her realize the limits to being bound. She gritted her teeth as he flipped her dress up. He gave her no warning before he jerked her panties down and pressed his warm mouth to the v between her legs. His tongue flicked and teased, finding her button with ease as he pushed her legs as wide apart as they would go.

“I can see all of you,” he whispered. “Taste all of you.”

She moaned in response as he slid a finger inside her.

“I want you to come for me, but I'm going to take my time and make you wait.” His tongue insisted that she obey as he sucked and lapped at her, adding another finger to the one inside her.

“Please...”

A tingle started at her clit, the precursor to her orgasm.