He examined the wine list as though it was in a language that only he understood. When the sommelier came, they conversed about regions and bouquets and all kinds of things that Nadine didn’t know much about. Allan selected a bottle of wine that earned a nod of approval from the discerning expert who promptly returned, uncorked and poured a tiny amount into Allan’s glass for him to judge. It suited him perfectly, Nadine noticed, to be treated this way. It had been a while since she’d spent any significant amount of time with Allan and she noticed that he had refined some of his mannerisms. He’d become ever more the gentleman he used to be. He was much more visually successful than he used to be. It was all in the details. His luxurious BMW, the silver Rolex watch that suited his wrist, the complex aroma of his cologne, his pressed shirt, the perfectly tailored jacket. Allan had become more of himself, that much was obvious. And she couldn’t help but admit that it was nice to see. She still let him occupy a very significant place in her heart. All of her formative years had included him. Besides, it felt nice to be out with such a dignified and powerful man. It was an unusual treat.
They sipped their wine and Nadine relaxed into this date.
“So, as I was saying Sunday, there’ve been a lot of changes. You’d love the property I bought. I want you to see it. The balcony would suit you just perfectly.”
Nadine found herself strangely sucked into his world. It was nearly impossible to be around Allan and not be allured by his magnetism. He exuded confidence and security and he was sexier than ever. It wasn’t just her. Anyone would fall prey to those dark eyes and that infectious smile. It was also in the generally pleasant demeanor he showed the world. He knew exactly how to talk to the servers and everyone around them. She’d always admired the effortlessness with which he carried himself, like he knew that others received a great deal of pleasure from interacting with him.
When Allan ordered, the server made a point of complimenting his taste.
In spite of her best attempts to repress all of the passionate memories they shared, Nadine found herself falling for Allan’s charm.
After the food had arrived, she blamed the coconut curry soup. Her senses were overwhelmed. Some blame also had to go to the peppercorn and wasabi seared Kobe steak. She’d give Allan that, too. The man knew food. He was definitely traditional, but he knew how to show a lady a good time.
“Nadine, I want you to know I’ve done a lot of growing over the past couple of years. I’m not the same person, I swear.” He put down his fork and knife.
“You seem like you’ve become more of yourself,” Nadine said, though she didn’t know whether it was a compliment or an insult.
“I’ve learned a lot. I know I hurt you. It’s the biggest regret of my life.” He looked down at his dinner but didn’t touch it. “To think that I had you and gave you up. It tears me up inside.”
“You’ve had other girlfriends since?”
“Of course,” he said without hesitation. “Lots.”
Nadine nodded, feeling a combination of relief and nausea at the thought. It figured that a guy like him would have had a lot of girlfriends. It had been one of her biggest insecurities during their relationship. She’d obsessed over the amount of girls who had crushes on him and feared that his curiosity would tear them apart.
“But none of them ever compared to you.”
This comment, spoken so sincerely, couldn’t fail to arouse some form of sentimentality and nostalgia in Nadine. She’d longed to hear him say this and had fantasized about these very words for a long time.
She wanted more. “Go on.”
“We had it all, Nadine. Our history together, our great sexual connection, the fact that our families already love each other. I wanted you to be the mother of my kids.”
“But you left”—Nadine sat back in her chair, more solemn than before—“in an abrupt and downright cruel way.”
“I felt like I had no other choice.”
“You could have at least waited until after the party. Or hell, you could have figured it out before. You left me with a houseful of guests who wanted an explanation. Do you have any idea how mortifying that was for me?”
He leaned in, and looked like he was in pain just thinking about it. “I’m sorry. I would never do that now. I’ve changed.”
“That’s hard for me to believe. I mean, you come back with this flair of arrogance and call me up and expect that I’ve been waiting for you.”
“You’re not married.”
She was aghast. “No, I’m not.”
“Then it isn’t a lost cause. I don’t care if there’s a boyfriend. I can win out in the end. We’re soulmates. I know it.”
“Allan, this isn’t a game. You don’t have to beat someone in a wrestling match.”
“But I will if you want me to. Anything. You name it.”
“I’d never ask you to compete for me.”
“So there is someone to compete with?”
Nadine nodded. “There is.”
“What’s his name?”
“I’m not telling you.” She knew very well how Allan could get. If he still had the temper he used to, he might just fly out of here and go cause a scene. That was his specialty. It had appealed to her when she was younger and he had in fact roughed up other guys in the name of love. And for some primal and irrational reason, she still found it hot. It was impossible to explain.
“Then tell me what he’s got that I don’t have.”
“It’s not a competition.”
“Level with me, Nadine. I mean, I know you. I know you wanted us to get married and I know that even though you’re putting up a brave front here, you did wait for me, at least for a while. Somewhere in your heart there is a possibility for us, or else you wouldn’t even be here with me now.”
“I’m here because my mom insisted.”
“All right. That’s something. You can’t possibly tell me that your family would ever like this guy more than me.”
“They do like you a lot, but to be fair, they’ve never met this other guy.”
“That tells me everything I need. If you haven’t brought him home, you can’t be that serious about him. There’s still a chance for us. So tell me, what does he have that I don’t have?”
“Why, Allan? So you can try to beat him?”
He put his hand on his chin, like he was striking a thoughtful pose right out of a men’s fashion magazine. “I’m interested in working on myself. If he’s got some trait that you want, I will try my best to make improvements. Remember how I used to hate girl movies, but I started watching them for you? Like that. So what is it?”
“Well, he’s…” Nadine blushed. She could feel her cheeks redden as she spoke. “He’s, um, attentive.”
“What does that mean? He listens? I listen.”
“You do. But not like him. I mean, when I’m with him, it feels like I have his undivided attention at all times. And he’s attentive in other ways, too.”
“What do you mean?”
She gave him a devious look.
“Oh, now he’s better in the sack than me, too?”
“It’s not a competition. It’s not about better,” Nadine said, but her blushing gave her away. “He’s just really focused on my pleasure. That’s what I mean.”
“I’d like the record to state that I’ve learned a lot since we were together.”
“I’m sure.”
“Let me prove it to you,” he said, taking her hand in his and guiding it to his lips where he kissed it. All the while he stared into her eyes.
Nadine could not ignore the sensations that were building in her. She couldn’t fight her animal nature. Her body said yes to Allan instinctively. She found herself appalled by his arrogance intellectually, but turned on simultaneously. How could he manage to have such an effect, she wondered. In her shyness, she picked up her fork and knife and tried to eat again, but it was useless. He had her in his grip.
“I want another date with you to prove to you that I can be attentive.”
“Allan, it’s not like that. Besides, I’m really busy these days.”
“Okay, here’s what we’re going to do. I’m going to be really observant or whatever and if I can get you to kiss me by the end of the night, then I get to go on another date with you. This Friday night. Do you have plans?”
“Let me check.” She took out her phone, which also contained her calendar, and scrolled through her week. She didn’t have plans. She wanted to say no out of principle, but she had a weak spot for Allan, especially domineeringly sexy Allan who had the charm turned up fully. “I’m free.”
“All right, so it’s a plan.”
“If I kiss you later, it’s a plan,” she corrected.
“You will,” he said with his typical authority. “You will.”
“I’m not letting you come in, by the way.”
“Not tonight.” He winked. “That’s what the second date is for.”
Nadine knew she was playing a dangerous game, leading him on like this. It wasn’t her style to play games. She avoided them in all other areas of her life. Being up front was more like her. But for some reason, Allan could bring qualities out in her that she hardly recognized. It was as though she was a different person around him.
When the server came to clear the plates and ask whether they wanted dessert, Allan looked at the menu, and ordered passion fruit mousse for the two of them to share. Nadine surprised herself by not interjecting. She wasn’t a fan of fruity desserts, especially something as flavorful as passion fruit and particularly after a meal like this. But she let him order anyway and told herself that it was okay to let him take the lead. After all, this was an out of the ordinary experience.
“You really have to come to New York,” Allan said. “There are so many places I’d like to show you.”
“I’ve been, you know.”
“When?”
“Well, as a kid I went a few times. You knew that.”
“Oh, right,” Allan said, as though he had suddenly remembered.
“And last year, Marnie and Alfonso and I went for a weekend getaway.”
“And you didn’t call me?”
“Actually I prayed I wouldn’t run into you. I didn’t even want to go there. I voted on Montreal. But they insisted. We saw a bunch of sights.”
“I could take you places you didn’t even know existed. I’ve seen so much. I feel like the city has really helped me open my mind. Like, for example, there’s this little Italian place I like to go to. Luigi, the owner, knows everybody by name. He knows what you like down to whether you take coarse pepper or an extra leaf of basil. The guy is incredible. A real artist.”
Nadine couldn’t help but think that there were a lot of business owners in Ann Arbor who knew people by name, but somehow Allan had never been impressed.
“Sounds lovely,” she said, though she thought it odd to be hearing about a supreme restaurant experience while supposedly having a supreme restaurant experience.
“And of course the music scene…” He told her about places where jazz musicians played to intimate audiences. “Oh, and the arts…” He told her about galleries he went to and a few signed pieces he’d bought for his place, how he wanted a collection of original artwork, how it made him feel good to contribute to the arts as an investor.
When the dessert came, he swiveled his spoon in the light textured mousse and, to Nadine’s surprise, he guided the spoon to her lips. This was how they’d shared dessert when they were teenagers. It had been very romantic back then. She opened her mouth, and welcomed the tarty sweet bite. There was an explosion of flavor on her tongue and her mouth began to water. Maybe she wouldn’t have chosen this dessert, but it sure was tasty and she was glad to be eating it. She was also aware that in all the years since Allan had spoon-fed her, nobody else had. And it was a particular joy.
* * * *
Nadine got into Allan’s BMW after dinner and he waited for her to get her seatbelt on before he closed the door and walked around to the driver’s side.
They drove through town and Nadine couldn’t help but notice that they weren’t far from the furniture shop.
“You know what?” she asked.
“What?”
“My grandpa’s old store is up for lease.”
“That old place? I’m surprised it’s still standing.”
“It’s a heritage building.”
“I’ll say. It’s seen better days.”
“I think it’s charming.”
“Of course you do. It’s called nostalgia.”
“I guess so. I still miss Grandpa Winston a lot.”
“He was a good guy,” Allan said. “Actually, that brings me to the surprise.”
They pulled onto Nadine’s street and Allan parked in front of the house. He took the keys out of the ignition. It wasn’t yet so cold that they needed the heat on.
“Your grandfather called me into his shop after we got engaged.”
“He did?”
“Yeah, I guess it was his man-to-man talk, only half of what he said didn’t really make sense to me. He used some pretty weird metaphors and stuff. Like he said that love is a journey and there was something about meandering pathways. I mean, what does that mean?”
“I had no idea he talked to you.”
“He also gave me something to give to you as a wedding present. He said he knew he probably wouldn’t be able to make it to the wedding.”
“Yeah, he was already pretty frail by then.”
“If you ask me, he shouldn’t have been allowed to keep working.”
“He didn’t consider it work. It was his passion. Besides, it was his home.”
“I guess. Anyway, he wanted you to have this.” Allan reached to the back seat and pulled a green gift bag to the front. “He said this was a present for you—not for both of us—and that I should give it to you on our wedding day.”
“And you had it all this time?”
“I feel terrible I never told you about it, but I kept it safe.”
“Oh, Allan.” Nadine didn’t have a chance to be mad. She was overcome with joy. She was simply filled with emotions—everything from curiosity to sadness to excitement.
She clutched the bag to her. “I don’t want to open it here. I’ll do it upstairs.”
“There were so many times I thought about sending it in the mail or giving it to my parents to give to you, but it never seemed right. I wanted to deliver it myself, and I wanted it to be special. Nadine, I’ve dated a lot of women since we broke up…”
“Yeah, you made that clear already.”
“The point is that none of them were as special as you. You’re the marrying kind.”