Authors: Kailin Gow
“I
do,” I answered back huskily. “I do realize how that can sound to you.” I
leaned back into my seat, fighting the temptation to unbuckle my seatbelt and
play out the fantasy I had growing in back of my mind with Drew. “But do you
realize,” I said, “that maybe, just maybe, I might be the one with the strong
sex drive, and you’re the loving one. We just haven’t explored those sides of
us as fully as the other?”
Drew
laughed then. “Maybe we should explore those sides of us more. I’d like to tell
you to explore your strong sexual side with me, but that would move us pass the
friend zone.”
I
looked down, remembering what Drew had told me about wanting to be just friends
and nothing more. “Drew…” I said, “You really meant that about us being just
friends?”
Drew
kept staring straight ahead, but his jaw noticeably twitched. Even that made me
want to reach out and touch his jaw.
“Yes,”
Drew said. “We can’t cross the boundaries, Summer. Or someone will get hurt.
It’s like the whole casual sex thing. Both parties know what they’re getting
into from the beginning. Just pure sex and nothing else.”
“So
with us, our boundaries are just pure friendship, platonic friendship and
nothing else?” I asked.
Drew
turned his head to look at me before looking at the road again. “It’s one way
or another, Summer. For me, it’s black and white. You’re either in the friend
zone or the lover zone. And with you…Gosh, Summer, you’re in my danger zone. My
rip-my-heart-out and change-me-forever zone. I have to tread lightly with you.
Because if I don’t, I may never be able to find my way back.”
Drew
stopped the car, and parked it at the Academy lot. By now, everyone had left,
even Astor, and the lot was empty except for my lone SUV.
I
didn’t know what I could say to him.
“Look,
Summer,” Drew said, “there are a million things I want to say to you. There are
a million things I want to do to you right now. None of them are in the friend
zone at the moment. If I don’t drop you off now here at a neutral place, I
would be crossing the friend zone into the danger zone.”
“Understood,”
I said.
Drew
looked over at me. He looked determined. “As much as I love the Pad, as much as
I want to move there, I’m staying in an apartment closer to USC, Summer. I’ll
have to be on campus a lot for football practice, and it made sense for me to
live closer.”
“Will
I get to see you at all then?” I asked.
“I’ll
still come out to help out with the Academy, Summer, and when you need me.
We’re still friends…only we won’t be living under the same roof like at the
Pad.”
“Okay,”
I said. “That’s fine with me, friend.” I looked away from Drew, not wanting him
to see how hurt I felt. I knew it was the best way to handle everything between
us, but I still couldn’t help feeling sad.
Drew
got out of the car and came over to open the door for me. He helped me into my
car, and gently kissed my forehead. “I’m glad you’re alright, Summer. You’ve
had quite a day so just go home and rest, like Dr. Williams told you to. Rachel’s
at the Pad with you for at least tonight so I know you’re not alone. And my
apartment is just a few miles away. If you need anything, call me.”
“Thank
you, Drew,” I said looking up at him. “For everything.” My lips trembled with
the emotions I was holding back. I felt as though we were stepping back, that
Drew was pushing me away, keeping me at a distance now more than ever. But he
was right. I couldn’t give him more. I couldn’t give him what he wanted from me
in order to get him past the danger zone.
“See
you on campus,” Drew said, walking back to his car.
“Sure,”
I said, starting my car, and backing up. “See you on campus. Have a great first
week, if I don’t see you.”
Drew
nodded, and I took off, not looking back. If I did, and he saw me, he would
have seen the big fat tears that started rolling down my cheeks.
It
wasn’t so much that I felt like I had lost a closeness with Drew that had
developed all last summer, but it was also the same feeling of lost I felt when
the Donovans had moved away to San Francisco, leaving me behind with Aunt
Sookie.
I
hated that feeling of abandonment. Drew had moved closer to me only to move
emotionally away. Rachel was going to go back home to San Francisco for another
semester before she would be back to help out with summer classes at the
Academy and to try to start acting professionally with Astor’s help. Astor was
back, but only for a short time before he would leave for a film shoot in
Vegas.
I
was all alone again. But this time, I didn’t even have Aunt Sookie.
My
phone began ringing, and I put on my earpiece to talk hands free while driving.
“Hello?”
“Summer,”
Nat’s voice flowed through to me in a soothing tone. “I heard about what
happened at the Academy today. Rachel sent me word, and then I even got a
message from Drew. The first one since we started looking for him. I didn’t
even know you found him, that he was there with you. Why didn’t you tell me?
Never mind, I’m coming down tonight to see you.”
“But
you have work and your school’s starting soon, too.”
“This
is more important, Summer. You’re more important. You know how I felt that we
can’t be together because of the distance and my obligations…well, that’s a lot
of crock. I realized it this morning having breakfast with you. I’d do anything
and everything to be with you, Summer. I know you don’t believe it, but I love
you so much. I always have, and I’ll see you tonight.”
“I
can’t wait,” I said.
“Me,
too,” Nat said. “Now get home and get some rest. You’ll need it tonight,
Summer. I’ll take good care of you like you’ve never been taken cared of
before.”
My
entire body tingled, remembering about Nat and how skillful he was in bed.
“Promised?” I asked.
“Promised,”
Nat said before we both ended the call.
*****
That
night, Nat made good on his promise.
Right
after Rachel left with Ryan to fly back on the Donovan’s corporate jet, Nat led
me to the sofa where he gently and slowly undressed me, kissing me as he went
along. We spent the entire night, exploring each other’s bodies, and I was
lost, completely enveloped by Nat’s skillful lovemaking.
Without
worrying about whether or not we’ll hurt Drew by being together like this, the
intensity in our lovemaking grew tenfold. Despite how sad I felt about Drew,
part of me felt happy and exhilarated for now making a clear decision on Drew.
He wanted only friendship. Nothing more. So he had set me free to be with
anyone I wanted.
And
there was only one other man I wanted badly besides Drew.
Nat.
Nat
wanted me badly too. It was as though he had been holding back the entire time
before, but it was different this time.
“Summer,”
he said, tenderly kissing the tip of my breasts before moving down to kiss my
stomach. “I want you to know how much I love you. There’s no holding back
anymore. When I heard about you being attacked, how you were hurt, I’ve never
wanted to hurt someone so much. I wanted to find that asshole who did this to
you. Who touched you, who ransacked the Academy’s office and tried to mind fuck
you, too. I wanted to kill him. But Drew called me and said he did a number on
him at the theater. Astor was able to find out more about the guy who broke
into the office when he filed a police report. He actually called Donovan
Dynamics to ask for help to trace and find out more about the guy. Drew called
too, about wanting to find the guy and make sure he’d never hurt you again. Drew
also told me a lot. About how he felt that night he visited my apartment, and
how he’s stepping back.”
Nat
stopped kissing me and moved up to look at me in the eyes. “Summer, it’s your
choice, who you want to be with. As long as you’re happy. That’s what mattered
to Drew and me. But until you can decide, Drew’s stepped back and started moving
on. I can’t say the same for me, because I just couldn’t. And based on how much
I felt when I heard about your attack, and how much I realized I shouldn’t
waste any more time wondering what could have been, but acting on what I want
the most right now, I realized you’re the one thing I wanted the most. When I
took you to see the Donovan Den, I realized I was miserable living there all
those years because you weren’t there. When you went there with me that night,
being there with you negated all the miserable feelings. I started liking the
place again. Because of you, Summer.”
He
kissed me hard and kept holding my face in his hands. “Summer, I want you with
me all the time. I want us to be together, but at the same time, I know I can’t
be here with you all the time…physically and because of the distance. I wish I
can, and maybe someday soon, I can, but in the meantime, I want you safe. Astor
and I talked about getting you a bodyguard, but thought you wouldn’t go for
that. You’re so independent. But if we’re wrong about that, Donovan Dynamics
can offer you one.”
“No,”
I said, “I wouldn’t want a bodyguard.”
“So,
the solution is for you to learn to protect yourself. Take self-defense
classes, even maybe carry a gun or a weapon, like pepper spray or stun gun, and
have it registered with the authorities. We just don’t want you defenseless
against guys like Sloane.”
“Sloane?”
I asked. “Is that the name of the guy who attacked me and nearly raped me?”
“Stanley
Sloane,” Nat said. “A loner in his thirties. Been collecting pictures of you
for a while. We think he may have been obsessed with Aunt Sookie, too.” Nat
paused. “Sookie was a beauty like you when she first appeared in films. She
even had a massive fan following when she starred as the comic book heroine Red
Phoenix, in that short-lived television show Masters of the Universe. Sloane
was found in forums talking about comic books, and how Red Phoenix played by
Sookie Jones was one of the sexiest heroines ever on television. He may have
been a little obsessed with her, and in a lot of ways, you kinda look like her.
Many of those photos of you in the showers or on the beach, even that one of us
kissing…they were taken with a telephoto lens from far away. We’re still trying
to piece together who Sloane is, does he work for anyone, and how did he have
access to some of those private records…hospital reports, Aunt Sookie’s stuff.”
“Probably
stolen it,” I said. “He broke into the school and tampered with the Academy’s
computer, wiping away the files,” I said. “I wouldn’t put it pass him to have
broken into, even hacked his way into some private records.”
“Precisely,”
Nat said. “But don’t worry, we can find stuff on him too, and hacking into
private records like that is criminal with stiff penalties.”
I
shuddered, remembering how I felt lying on the ground with Sloane on top of me,
rubbing against me, his grubby dirty hands over my mouth to keep me from
screaming as his other hand fumbled with my underwear, trying to pull it down.
It was horrifying and wrong. I wanted none of that, an act of trying to make me
feel helpless and small. Thank God for Drew…
“I’m
going to take martial arts classes as soon as I can,” I told Nat. “I don’t want
to fall victim like that again.”
“Good,”
Nat said, kissing my forehead. “I’ll help you find a good school to train at.”
“I’ll
look into pepper sprays, too,” I said. “It doesn’t hurt to be prepared.”
“No,
it doesn’t,” Nat agreed. “I just wished I can be here in Malibu with you all
the time to protect you…”
I
saw the tender look of love in his eyes and knew he was still worried about me.
“I know that’s impossible right now,” I said. “I wished that could happen, too,
but for right now, I’ll have to be the one protecting myself.”
Nat
traced my lips with his fingers before pressing his lips on mine. “You can,
Summer. Everyone has the right to protect themselves. If Drew never had gotten
to the theater on time, I don’t even want to think what could’ve happened. You
struggling and fighting back against Sloane most likely deterred him - buying
you time before someone showed up. So, Summer. Your safety goes beyond any
jealousies we have over you. Astor, Drew, and me. It’s no secret guys are all
over the place with you, that they’re crazy about you. We’re all trying to
compete for you, in a barbaric caveman way that’s part of our DNA so we’re
going to be jealous of each other. But in a way, if it means you’re being
protected and not alone, then we’d set aside any jealousy for you to be safe.”
“What
are you saying?” I asked.
“I’m
not going to be around every day. Astor has a grueling work and travel
schedule. That leaves Drew. He’s at least here and have the most stable
schedule. If you need him around just so you’re not alone, you have my
blessing.”
“Nat,”
I said, overwhelmed by his love. “You’re fine with Drew staying over and
spending that much time with me?”
“I
don’t like it, but I don’t like you getting attacked by some Slone guy even
more.”
Nat
got up to shower and get dressed. I watched his naked chiseled muscular body
move with grace and confidence to the bathroom I shared with Rachel. He was
breathtakingly hot, and I thought about joining him in the showers. Since
starting college and keeping a disciplined work-out schedule, Nat had gotten
into top shape. Though not as broad as Drew, Nat had the sexy body of a
quarterback, and the stamina of a racehorse. We packed a full day of passion
last night into a few hours…which should have left us satisfied. Instead it
left me wanting me.
I
sighed.
Ain’t going to happen today.
He wouldn’t get a chance to spend
the entire day with me because he needed to be back in San Francisco, starting
a new semester at Stanford tomorrow, taking care of his mother, and working at
Donovan Dynamics. I was happy to finally reach a point in our relationship
where he was willing to try to be together, despite all the demons he faced.