Phoenix (9 page)

way down before disappearing, and then he stepped out of

the shower, grabbing a towel quickly and drying himself off

like he was touching something vile.

Each shower was like a fight of the wills inside his head

and he hated it.

He grabbed his blue jeans and pulled them up his legs

after putting on his boxers, noticing he was getting more

hair every day on his legs but they still seemed feminine to

him. He pulled his binder on with some struggling, because

his skin was wet. The tight, clinging fabric stuck to his back

and his arms for a moment before he grunted and forced it

on, shoving it down to bind the curves that were haunting

his thoughts. He, then, pulled on a black long-sleeved shirt

and settled it along the flatness of his chest. He looked down

at it for a moment, seeming to gain strength from the image

before he looked again.

Blake ran his fingers through his hair and decided today

he wasn’t going to bother with his hair, leaving it wet and

hanging in his face until he dried it vigorously. He shut his

eyes and rubbed his fingertips into his scalp, feeling himself

calm a little as he did so.

He stopped after a moment and couldn’t help but look in

the mirror, observing the way his jaw was becoming a little

bit stronger by the day and he was actually starting to get

stubble dusting his jaw line. More and he’d have to shave.

He shot his reflection a slight grin and pushed away,

walking out of the shower to see that Devon was stumbling

his way out of his bed. He chuckled a little and shook his

head, walking back to his bunk.

“What? Not everyone’s a morning person,” Devon

mumbled, collapsing back in his bed with a heavy sigh,

running his hands through his hair and scratching at his

scalp to try and wake himself up. It wasn’t really working

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because Blake could see the way his head was starting to loll.

“I’m not a morning person. It’s one in the afternoon,”

Blake told Devon, watching as his head shot up in shock.

The way his bright blue eyes widened was almost comical,

and Blake couldn’t help but grin.

“Are you serious?” he exclaimed, and Blake laughed. This

guy really was fucking ridiculous, but his own thoughts

were fading like a lowering tide. It was nice.

“Yeah, I’m serious,” he replied, shaking his head and

pulling on his Converse. He stretched his back out by

reaching past his shoe toward the ground with a groan.

“Fuck, I slept too long last night.”

“When’d you and Riley get in?”

“About four,” Devon said with a shrug, standing to dress

himself.

Blake had to look away when Devon just stripped off his

shirt. A pang of jealousy made his stomach hurt. He wished

he could do that. “I see,” he replied, reminding himself that

he was indeed having a conversation. “Was the movie

good?” he asked, daring to look up and finding that Devon

had pulled another shirt over his torso. His perfect, strong,

masculine torso. He fought the urge to groan.

He really was his own worst enemy.

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Joey James Hook

evon could feel Blake’s eyes on him, and as he glanced

D over, he saw the way Blake diverted his eyes away

from him. He furrowed his brows and began to arrange his

shirt the way he wanted it to be, wondering exactly what

was going on in his roommate’s head.

“Hey, man, you okay?” he asked after a few moments of

silence, sitting back down on his bed and looking over at

Blake. The other man looked up with raised eyebrows, a

look of surprise on his face.

“Yeah, why?” he asked.

“I dunno, you just went all quiet ‘n shit,” Devon said with

a shrug, but the concern in his tone made it a lot less casual

than he expected.

Blake quirked a rueful smile and shook his head. “I’m

naturally quiet, don’t worry about it,” he said. “It’s when I’m

loud that you have to worry.”

Devon shot him a confused look as the emotion rolled hot

through him. “That sounds backwards as hell, dude,” he

said.

Blake laughed a bit and looked down to his hands, lacing

his fingers together with a shrug. “Yeah, well, I’m not

exactly normal now, am I?” he said.

Devon raised his eyebrow and moved closer to Blake’s

bed where he was running his fingers through his hair

seemingly to distract himself from something. “Was that a

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joke I just heard?” he asked skeptically.

Blake chuckled and shook his head, dipping his fingers

into the pomade by his bed, beginning to run it through his

hair. “If you wanna take it as one,” he said, and Devon

smirked at him.

“Fine, since you’ve given me the option, I shall take it as a

joke and laugh!” he proclaimed, throwing his head back in a

dramatic sort of laughing sound.

Blake snorted in amusement and continued to do his

hair. “What, you thought that was funny?”

“I think you’re funny,” Blake said before looking up at

him with a grin and continuing with, “funny looking.”

Devon snorted in helpless amusement and shook his

head. “You’re gettin’ pretty good at this joking business, I

gotta say,” he mused, leaning down and stealing some of

Blake’s hair product before combing his hands through his

hair to spike it up.

“Did I say you could do that, hmm?” Blake asked, raising

his eyebrows in question as he continued to style his hair,

perfecting it in the mirror before humming, turning his head

from side to side and deciding that he was happy with it.

“No, but I did it anyway,” Devon said, noticing idly that

he and Blake styled their hair almost exactly the same way.

He quirked a small smile and wandered back to his own

bunk to put on the finishing touches to turn his hair from

bed head into an actual comprehensible style.

“First you steal my hair product and then you steal my

hair style. Jeez, you’re just a grade A thief, huh?” Blake

teased from behind him, and Devon looked up with a wide

grin.

“You noticed, too, huh?” he said, and he barely caught the

way Blake just rolled his eyes at him and moved back to

gather his school books. “What classes do you have today?”

“Eh, boring ones,” Blake said over his shoulder.

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Joey James Hook

“Statistics, English and Biology.”

“How many fuckin’ classes do you take a semester,

dude?” Devon asked, awe in his tone as he shifted to face

him, just in time to see Blake shrug a little.

“I’ve got six right now. Those three, advanced sociology,

personality psych and abnormal psych, but the other three

are on Tuesday and Thursday, and it’s Wednesday,” Blake

explained as if it was the easiest course schedule in the

world.

“Dude, how do you not die at the end of the week?”

Devon asked.

Blake laughed and shook his head, tossing his iPod and

his headphones into his messenger bag alongside a couple of

his books. “I stay home and do my homework, and then I go

out if I want to. I don’t just save it all for the end of the week

like some people. Besides, I like reading and learning and all

that stuff. I’m one of those weirdos,” he said with a derisive

sort of laugh.

“Oh,” Devon said, processing the information. He

supposed it wasn’t weird considering this was a pretty

high-end college, but it was still strange to him because he

was a slacker and was only taking three classes for his first

semester. “Well, I’m only taking English, basic Math and

Biology.”

“Who do you have for English and Biology?” Blake asked.

“‘Cause we might be in the same class.”

“I have Lynch for English and, uh, some weird foreign

name for Biology,” Devon said, shrugging.

“Hermanni?” Blake asked, and Devon nodded, intrigued

by the fact that Blake knew who he was talking about. But

then again he had just admitted that he was a total nerd and

likely knew a lot of things that would catch him off-guard.

“Yeah, he’s Finnish, but he knows what he’s talking about as

far as I’ve heard. You have him today?”

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“Yeah, at four,” he said with a nod, cocking an eyebrow at

the small smile that made its way onto Blake’s lips. “So that

means we do have it together, then?”

“I’d say, unless there’s another Biology class at four with

Professor Hermanni,” Blake said with a teasing lilt in his

voice as he slung his bag over his shoulder.

Devon rolled his eyes at the way Blake seemed to have

picked up a sense of humor. “I think you learn too well,” he

told him, but there was sheer, unadulterated amusement

dancing in his eyes.

“Eh, so I’ve been told,” Blake said with a shrug, but

Devon was pretty sure there was a light of surprise doing

much the same in Blake’s eyes as amusement was in his

own.

“Well, either way I should get going so I’m not late to

English. Professor Lynch might actually lynch me if I’m not

on time to her class,” Devon said with a laugh, shaking his

head.

“Well, then, I guess I’ll see you in Bio,” Devon said with a

grin. Well, at least he’d know someone in one of his classes.

That was something he hadn’t had yesterday. Blake laughed

and nodded as he made his way out of the dorm.

He tossed him a little wave and an even smaller, shy sort

of smile and said, “Yeah, see ya,” before slipping out of the

room, shutting the door quietly behind him.

All Devon could think as he stepped out of the room was,

God, that boy is something else.

* * * *

Blake was genuinely surprised with himself as he shut the

door behind him. He hadn’t thought about his dysphoria

once when he’d been bantering with Devon, and he’d

actually been keeping up with said banter.

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Joey James Hook

He had a small smile on his face as he walked down the

hall of the dorm toward the exit, and surprisingly he didn’t

run into anyone as he reached the courtyard and walked

across it to get to his English class.

He stepped into the room, and moved to take his seat

somewhere near the middle. When he’d been in high school,

he’d always sat right up front, but he’d learned that lesson

after his bullies had added
teacher’s pet
to
freak
and

butch-dyke
. He didn’t sit up from anymore.

As he settled down in the seat, he started watching people

as they came in, and he almost immediately diverted his

eyes after a few moments of just watching. He tensed his jaw

and tried to calm the lick of anger and fear that paralyzed

his chest for a split second.

Dominic had just waltzed into the room like he fucking

owned it.

When Blake looked up, he looked over the damage Riley

had done, and it looked pretty severe. The left side of his

face was completely bruised up and swollen, he had a hell of

a black eye, and his nose was wrapped and still lightly

bleeding.

A surge of sick satisfaction went through Blake as he

ferreted in his bag for his book and his notebook, but some

part of him knew that the guy was just going to come over to

him and heckle him even though he looked like he’d been

through a boxing match.

“So, girly, how’s your boyfriend’s jaw lookin’?” Dominic

asked as he sauntered over to Blake.

“I don’t have a boyfriend, Dominic,” he said in an even

tone as he pulled out his binder for the class coolly. He

found it easier to stand up to people when he was doing

something at the same time and he didn’t end up looking

them in the eye.

“Oh yeah? Then why did my own middle linebacker turn

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Phoenix

on me and beat the holy hell out of me, hmm?” Dominic

asked, leaning against the desk and knocking his notebook

off the table.

“I dunno, ‘cause you’re an asshole?” Blake replied rather,

cocking his head and glancing down at his open

composition book, lyrics obviously written in blue ink open

for the world to see.

“Don’t tempt me, ‘cause normally I don’t hit girls but

you’re tap dancing on my last nerve,” Dominic said in what

Blake assumed should have been a threatening voice.

“Good thing I’m not a girl then, huh?” Blake said in a low