Phoenix (43 page)

Caroline dressed the next morning, pulling on her undershirt, buttoning up her BDUs, making sure her boots were spit polished. Her uniform wasn’t much to look at; it was leftover surplus from the Marine Corps. She glanced in the mirror, straightening her jacket and tucking her hair under her beret, since it wasn’t quite long enough to pull back. She was grateful that her helmet and most of her other tactical gear would be waiting for her on the helicopter. Jonesie undoubtedly had scads of jokes saved up for while they were in the air.

You’ve come a long way from business suits and dresses, lady.

She grabbed the necklace off the dresser, squeezing it in her hand, then looked down at the wedding ring attached to it. There was no good reason to put it on. Not really. But maybe Jack was right. Maybe it would bring her a little luck.  She put it around her neck and tucked the ring under her shirt, then ran out the door. She didn’t want to be late.

*              *              *              *              *

It was early, just before dawn. The sun started to rise above the horizon. By the time Caroline arrived at the airstrip, she knew she was no longer on time. Dammit, how incredibly unprofessional. Jack was waiting next to the helicopter to greet her.

“Your friends are already on board,” he said.

“Sir,” Caroline said, giving Jack a crisp salute. “I’m sorry, I-”

He waved his hand. Maybe he was in a better mood than he’d been the night before. “There’s no reason for you to do that.”

She shrugged her shoulders. “I was trying to apologize for my tardiness.”

“Which is why you immediately reverted to your typically colloquial behavior.” He smoothed her jacket collar. “Ready to go?”

He was definitely in a better mood. “Yes,” she said, reaching for her hip. Double dammit.

“What is it?” Jack asked.

She was late and she was unprepared. She was clearly hitting them all. “I, um, forgot my sidearm.”

“Your rifle isn’t enough?”

Caroline looked around, trying to figure out who had a handgun she’d be able to borrow. Jack grabbed her arm.

“Take this,” he said, pulling a Glock and an extra magazine out of his pocket.

“You walked over here with a loaded gun in your dress pants?”

He gave her a half smile. “You weren’t around to remind me about proper firearm safety.” He handed her the Glock. “Take it. It’s yours.”

“Okay,” Caroline said, holstering it in her belt.

He gave her a probing look. “No. I mean it’s literally yours. Take a closer look.”

She pulled the gun out of its holster, seeing her initials scratched into the butt of the handle. “Oh,” she said. “Where did you-?”

“I’ve always had it,” he said quietly. “Never even fired it, actually. Stayed inside my coat the entire time. Fresh bullets, though. And it’s been cleaned and test fired by someone other than me. Our techs assure me it’s in perfect working condition.”

“I’m sure it is.” Caroline tried not to sound ungracious. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Use it well.”

He was detached, but not entirely. “Um, Jack, about last night-”

“We don’t need to talk about that,” he said. “But I certainly won’t argue if you let me make you dinner after you get back.”

His detachment hadn’t taken long to vanish. “Don’t press your luck,” she said.

Her unit was inside the helicopter. The ground crew wasn’t paying attention. Jack moved closer to her. “I trust you completely but am very glad you have your men. I know they won’t let anything happen to you.”

Odd for him to make that observation, since technically she was supposed to keep
them
safe. Or minimize their exposure. “No,” Caroline said. “They won’t.”

He wanted to say something else. He was itching to say something else. Jack took her hand.

“I try not to focus on regrets,” he whispered. “But if I could go back, I would have held onto you so much tighter. I should have never let you slip away from me.”

Oh, God. It was happening again. He would once again open himself up to her when she didn’t have the strength to handle it. He’d decided to save it all up until the last minute when she wouldn’t have the courage to turn him away.

Jack cleared his throat. “You can do this and do it well,” he said. “You’re the smartest, most intrepid woman I know. Your unit will listen to you.” He brushed some nonexistent lint off her shoulders and kissed her cheek. “Just be careful. Trust your instincts. Everything else will take care of itself.”

She couldn’t help herself. She knew what he wanted because she wanted it too. Caroline impulsively kissed him on the lips. “I know that’s what you really wanted to do.”

“No,” he said, pulling her beret off. “This is what I really wanted to do.”

Jack kissed her deeply, wrapping his arms around her. Caroline let her hands drift up to his hair, pleased when he groaned against her lips. He pressed his fingers firmly into her back in a familiar possessive movement. She caressed his hair and he moaned again, letting his hands dip down to her waist. She pulled back first, dazed, aware that they’d been kissing for much longer than was necessary.

“I need to get on the helicopter,” she said, straightening her jacket.

“I know.” Jack smiled a tiny smile, leaning toward her ear and pressing her beret into her hands. “Be fearless, my love.”

Caroline was flooded with panic, starting to wonder if she wasn’t going to make it back. If that gnawing feeling in her gut was more than pregame jitters. Maybe she really
had
taken on a suicide mission. And her husband had no desire to stop her. She felt Jack withdraw, then took a step backward.

“Hey, Princess!” Jones’ distinctive voice called down from the helicopter. “Get on this damn thing before we take off without you.”

Caroline took another step toward the transport. “I have to go,” she said, readjusting her beret.

Jack didn’t say anything, bringing his hand up in a crisp salute. Something he wasn’t really required to do, especially as her commanding officer. She told herself to return the gesture but instead turned around and rushed inside the helicopter.

“Nice of you to join us.” Jones smiled. “Your face is kinda red.”

“Is it?” she asked.

He laughed. “Yep.”

So much for the division between officers and enlisted personnel. “What did you see?”

“I didn’t see nothing,” he said. “I mean, aside from you making out with the commander.”

Caroline blushed even deeper as he led her toward the middle of the helicopter.

“It’s okay. No one else saw.” He grinned again. “There’s a Kevlar helmet here that’s going to look adorable on you. Even cuter than that little hat you’re wearing.”

She elbowed him in the ribs. “Fuck you, Corporal. You’re not gonna get a promotion after this assignment, I can tell you that much.”

Jones elbowed her back. “This shit is gonna be fun.”

*              *              *              *              *

It was loud in the helicopter. Loud enough that two people could have a conversation without being overheard. Crunch, Gig, Rosen, and Maier were oblivious to what anyone else was doing. Caroline had her opportunity to talk to Jones about her plan if shit went wrong. She stared straight ahead, toward the other side of the helicopter. “Jonesie, I need you to do something for me.”

He fiddled with his AR. “Sure.”

She cleared her throat. “I don’t think anything will happen but if I get in a situation that looks bad or if things go downhill, I want you to take me out.”

Jones almost dropped his rifle. “What?”

“Shoot me, whatever.”

“I know what the fuck you mean. Why?”

“I don’t want them to capture me, not again. And if I’m not in a position to off myself, I want someone I can trust to do it for me.”

“Princess, that shit ain’t gonna happen. Look, this place is almost deserted except for a few people. We set off a few bombs, we shoot a few warning shots, we provide a distraction, we get the fuck out of there. No big.”

She shook her head. “I want to be prepared. Will you do it?” Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Jones shift his gun to one hand, offering her the other.

“Only if you do the same for me,” he whispered.

A couple of drama queens, the two of them. She was worrying over nothing. Nothing would happen. She kept telling herself that when they refueled at the border, when they flew in with nary a response, when they landed and headed toward the building they were tasked with…remodeling. The CRA special unit had gotten there ahead of time but would not be revealing their location. Once they knew Caroline’s team was there, they’d wait for the diversion and move in to rescue their operative.

It was so easy. Too easy. Easy for them to set off the bombs, easy for them to watch them go off, easy to see the smoke rising from the other side of the building where the other team was located. Why on earth had this been considered such a dangerous mission? Was it simply because they’d crossed the border? Nellis was practically a ghost town.

Caroline heard Gig’s voice behind her. “Got the signal!” he shouted. “Free and clear. Move out!”

Technically that might have been her order to give, but she pretended she’d delegated that authority. She shoved Rosen ahead of her. “Get moving,” she said. “No reason to delay. Get your ass back to the helicopter.”

They followed the steps they’d taken before, running double time. It was a hell of a lot easier now that their loads were lighter. All they had left were their rifles and sidearms. Rosen strayed from the path and she yanked him back. “Stay in line,” she said. “You got no idea what’s out there.”

“Sorry,” he panted. “Didn’t mean to slip.”

It was hot. The sun had already risen. Rosen seemed disoriented. Maybe it was nerves. Caroline let her mind wander as she ran, bringing up the rear with Gig in front.

She shouldn't have come. Why had she come? They didn't need a high ranking officer there. Jack's advisors had said so themselves. But he'd still let her go. He could have stopped her, but he let her go. Why had he done that? And what had been her intention? To prove a point that didn't need to be made?

She would let him make her dinner. That would be the nice thing to do. And she'd get through the meal without yelling at him or thinking terrible thoughts or doing any of the horrible things she'd done to hurt him over the past few months. And maybe he'd forgive her for them. Maybe they could move on. That would be nice.

They wouldn’t have to rehash what had already happened. They could start over. Maybe he’d take her out on a date. She didn’t know where they could go but the beach would be nice.

Unless he didn’t want her anymore. That was a possibility too. She couldn’t blame him if that kiss before she left was a goodbye and nothing else. She certainly didn’t deserve his affection. But she didn’t need to think about that now, not when she was busting her ass to get back to the helicopter. She could deal with all those issues once she was back at the base.

They didn’t have much cover. Brush littered the fields and there were concrete roads everywhere, some of which were overgrown with weeds. Whatever Santos was using Nellis for, it wasn’t anything significant. The United States had abandoned it and moved on, save for a few stragglers at their supposed ‘rest home.’

But it seemed so quiet. Too quiet. So quiet Caroline swore she heard crickets, even though it was still morning. Quiet enough to hear a pin drop. In the middle of fucking nowhere. No wind, clear sky, not another soul for miles.

It
had
been easy. Too easy. And they’d been lucky as fuck. When Rosen stumbled in front of her and took a step in the wrong direction she finally figured out what they’d taken for granted.

And the world exploded.

Will Caroline and Jack find their way back to one another? Do you even have to ask? Their love story continues in
Rhapsody
, coming in late 2016.

Books in The Bellator Saga

Dissident
(March 17, 2015)

Conscience
(August 17, 2015)

Sojourn
(December 7, 2015)

Phoenix
(May 2, 2016)

Rhapsody
(late 2016 (projected))

Triumph
(early 2017 (projected))

The first three books in the saga are also available in an ebook only box set with bonus material (
The Bellator Saga: The First Trilogy
(February 29, 2016)).

Want to stay in the loop for all things Jack and Caroline? Maybe get access to new releases, special bonus scenes, and contests before
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