Picture Me Naked (Stoddard Art School Series) (24 page)

Shirt lifted, her breasts pressed into his chest. As he slipped her jeans over the sweet curve of her bottom, Jagger caught their reflection in one of the mirrors used by the artists for self-portraits. Both half naked, locked in an embrace, they were the very image of passion.

“Look at you. You’re so beautiful and sexy.” She stilled in his arms as she looked at their reflection. Jagger nuzzled her temple. “Do you see why I can’t think of anything but touching you, tasting you?” He kissed the length of sensitive skin beneath Zee’s ear. She tipped her head, watching him in the mirror.

He felt her tremble in his arms. “Mmmmm,” she sighed. He nipped at her earlobe while kicking off his jeans. “God, I want you.”

Jagger held up one finger to her fearing that given the two seconds it would take to retrieve a condom, she would change her mind. But Zee slipped out of her top and tossed it over her shoulder. Her jeans hung off the seductive curve of one hip. “Bloody hell, woman.” He ripped the condom pack open with his teeth.

A knock sounded at the door, and Jagger felt the cold-water panic of being caught with his pants down. Down? Hell, off! “Bugga!” He tossed Zee her sweatshirt from the floor. She clutched it to her chest as the color drained from her face and her mouth dropped open. Her eyes were wide and round as his mum’s dinner plates.

Jagger leapt to the nearest stool and sat with his back to the door. Assuming the pose Zee was painting, he tried to shift his wanger into reverse and keep his heart in his chest.

“I’m sorry to interrupt, but—” Madeline poked her head around the edge of the door. “Jagger? I wasn’t aware you were scheduled for more time.”

He looked over his shoulder at her. “Madeline, come on in. Join the party.”

“Isn’t Zee in this studio today?”

“She’s lost in the prop corner. What do you think? I don’t need a silly prop, do I?”

Zee appeared. Two spots of color flared on pale cheeks and her sweatshirt was zippered tight to her chin. She used her tee-shirt like a dust rag on a lifelike model of a human skull. “It’s not silly. It’s a classic Macbeth pose. Just let me see how it looks.” Zee handed Jagger the skull and glared at him. He winked at her.

“What’s up, Madeline?”

“Um, nothing.” She watched Zee pull a fresh canvas. “I saw the model note on the door, and I knew I hadn’t scheduled anyone. Jagger’s not on the school’s clock, you do know that.”

“Of course, I hired him. I, ah, had some ideas I wanted to play around with. And,” Zee gestured to him,“he needed the extra work. So…”

“No, that’s fine. This is personal studio time, and you can use that however you wish, I just wanted to make sure the school wasn’t paying for something it shouldn’t.”

“Oh, no. Nothing like that.” Zee used her shirt to wipe at a brush and glared at him.

“Okay then. I’ll let you get back to it.”

Jagger winked at Zee again. “So long, Maddie. Are you done for the day? Looks like it’s gonna be a cocker of an afternoon out there.”

“Yes. I’ve got a bit of spring fever. I’m going to take some work home with me and reeducate myself with the joys of my side porch.

“Sounds like a plan. Can’t convince the artist here to bugger off for the day. Oh well, no rest for the wicked, right Zee?”

“Well, you two have fun.”

As the door closed behind Madeline, Zee dropped her head into her hand. Jagger started to laugh and Zee threw her ruined shirt at him. Color flooded her face. “You think this is funny?”

“Bloody freakin’ hell.” He roared with laughter. “If you could have seen your face! Eyes big as plates!” Jagger stood and faced her. “Whew, man that was close. I didn’t think I could move that fast. I’ve had close calls before, but—”

“Why didn’t you lock the door? If she had come in two minutes later? I…we…”

“Another minute, darlin’, I wouldn’t have heard her come in! But no harm, no foul.”

“No harm, no foul? Are you kidding me? Do you have any idea what would have happened if she had caught us? I would have been expelled. Lost my scholarship. The show, forget the fellowship. I could have lost it all!”

“Hey, it’s okay. She didn’t catch us. And she did say you could use private studio time however you wished.” He wiggled his eyebrows and reached for her again, but she backed away.

“She didn’t mean it was okay to do the
horizontal mambo
in the prop room.”

“If I recall, we weren’t getting horizontal.” Zee looked like she was going to cry or scream or both. He stopped joking. “Hey, it’s okay. Calm down. Everything is fine.”

“No, everything is not fine.” She ran her gaze down his body. “I can’t think when you’re… Could you please put your pants on?” She dropped into a chair.

Jagger slipped into his jeans and crouched before her. He took her hands in his. They were cold. “It’s all good, lovey. Don’t worry. You’re fine.”

“I don’t think I can do this.”

“Great. I’ll help you pack up your stuff.”

“No.” She lifted her eyes to his. “I don’t mean this.” Her hand swept the room. “I mean this. Us.” She jerked her hand back and forth between them. “What was I thinking? Everything happened so fast. I kiss you and it’s like a wildfire. I lose my mind. I get swept away.” She shook her head. “I thought I could handle this. I thought I could be like you. Uninhibited. Wild. I thought I could be the woman you wanted me to be, but I can’t. I’m not. We… This has to stop.” Zee put her face in her hands.

“You don’t mean that.” Jagger tried to gather her closer, but she resisted. “You’re just freaked. Totally understandable. ”

“No, it’s not just Madeline coming in. It’s you. It’s me. It’s everything. I’m losing perspective, Jagger. I’m losing my focus. My life has to be about the work right now. Do you know how long I’ve worked for this? How many years I’ve dreamed of an opportunity like this?” She lifted her eyes to his. “And then I look at you. I forget all of it. All I can think of is being with you and kissing you. I’ve never acted like this before. I-I’m not that girl.” She pointed back to the prop corner. “That girl in the mirror. I’m not her. I don’t even know who she is.” Zee moved to touch his arm, but pulled back. “I can’t think when I’m close to you. You kiss me, and I get lost.” She stood up and moved away from him. “You’re used to woman tossing their bras at you and doing you on a park bench. You’re the most open person I’ve ever met. I wished I could be as free as you. But, I’m not. This is too much for me. Being with you has been the most amazing, wonderful thing, but…”

“Whoa. Stop.” He stood and moved toward her. Even that little distance between them felt like it was growing into the Grand Canyon. She was scaring him. He couldn’t lose her. Not now. Not yet. He wasn’t ready to let go of what they had. “I don’t want you to be anyone other than who you are. I’m not asking for anything more than that. Remember. No promises. I’d never get in the way of your work. Ever. I didn’t come here to seduce you, I swear. Your work comes first. I get that. But don’t push me away.”

Zee wouldn’t look at him. “I’ve never known anyone like you, Zee.” He took her arm and led her back and turned her toward the mirror. Jagger stood behind her and their eyes met in their reflection. “This
is
you. This is who I want. I don’t know what you see when you look in this mirror, but I see an incredibly talented, sensitive, amazing woman.” He started to unzip her sweatshirt until her hand stopped him. “I see a sexy woman who doesn’t know how incredibly hot she is.” He eased his hand passed the zipper of her shirt and caressed the softness there.

“Jagger…”

“Look at your face. Watch how your eyes change. See how your lips part when you pull in a breath. This is what I see. This is the woman I want.” He kissed her neck. “You’re not lost, Zee. You’re right here with me. Feeling me touch you, kiss you,” he whispered in her ear, “wanting you, just you.”

Jagger turned Zee in his arms and tipped her chin up to meet his gaze. “This is new for me, too. And, sweetheart, there are moments when all this scares the hell out of me. But I’m not ready to give up. Not when being with you makes me feel this good. I don’t want to lose you. I just want to be with you.” He couldn’t read her expression. Was she really going to end this? The thread of fear he felt and the heavy drop of his heart surprised him. He wasn’t ready to be done. She had come to mean too much. Laying a kiss on her mouth he pulled the zipper closed. “I’m gonna leave you to your paints. But I’m coming back in two hours. Maybe I can sweet talk you into watching the sunset at the lake?”

“I don’t think so. I…”

Her words were like cold fingers reaching into his chest. Even the warm breeze coming through the window couldn’t banish the sudden chill in the room. Zee eyes begged his forgiveness. Jagger held up a hand. “I understand.” Anything else he could think to say turned to dust in his mouth. “I’ll leave you alone.” He picked up his shirt. Maybe if he gave her some space, gave her some time. A day, or two. A week…

“I was thinking maybe we could just meet at my place. You like the sunsets from my roof. It’s more private. Or, we could meet back to your place.” She shrugged one beautiful shoulder. “I’m not a big fan of ducks.”

Relief shot through him. He took her in his arms and crushed her lips beneath his. “Then to hell with the damn ducks.”

Chapter Thirty

After Jagger left the studio, Zee went back and looked in the mirror. Her emotions were a jumbled mess. She had never felt like this before. Acted like this before. What had gotten into her?

Jagger.
He was like a drug—a beautiful, sexy, incredible drug that made her feel like she was breathing for the first time. With him she had permission to be carefree and happy, to feel more sensual than she had ever felt in her life. She could still feel his kiss on her lips…his hand cupping her breast…slipping into her pants. He turned her on just walking into the room. She was the one who started that grab fest earlier. She was the one to pull him into the props corner. Her. The girl with the white balloon, granny panties.

No other man had every made her feel this way. How wonderful to live in the moment and not worry about the future. But then the practical girl in the mirror looked back. There was no future. Not with Jagger. Was that why she was giving herself whiplash?
Yes, no, yes, no.
She knew the answer to that, too. She couldn’t stop feeling like she was being swept out to sea and it scared her. He scared her. The love she felt for him frightened her most of all. Was it truly better to have loved and lost? Would the shredded remains of her heart believe that when Jagger left?

“What are you going to do?” Zee spoke to her reflection. For a minute she saw the scene from before. She and Jagger entwined, half naked, giving themselves to one another. Him whispering against her skin, telling her how beautiful she was.

A warm rush tightened her nipples. She ran her fingertips over the swell of her lips. “You love him and he loves you.” Zee felt the pinch of tears and watched her eyes begin to fill. “You have everything you’ve ever dreamed of. Right here, right now. Quit trying to mess this up. Aren’t you tired of being afraid of-of everything?” Zee swiped at tears and looked at the new found determination in her eyes. “No more hiding. No more fighting this. I love him.”

Zee looked at the clock. Jagger was coming over at sunset. “I’m wasting precious time.”

In her bedroom, Zee slipped into a new set of red panties with tiny black bows. If you could call a Band-Aid sized patch of silk and strings panties. The matching demi-bra pushed and shaped what little bit she had into actual cleavage. She turned this way and that, checking her reflection. “As God is my witness, I’ll never wear practical underwear again!”

She gathered up all her granny briefs and oversized sweatshirts, and stuffed them into a trashcan. It was time to get rid of them for good. Zee’d purposefully left her last sweatshirt on the roof. Next to Jagger.

Her heart pounded in her chest as she pushed closed the slider and padded barefoot across the warm rooftop. Jagger had spread out a picnic blanket and some pillows from the couch so they could stretch out and watch the sun slip between the buildings. He was shirtless and sat playing softly on his guitar as she passed.
Please don’t laugh, please don’t laugh
.

Jagger didn’t laugh. “Zee…” The music stopped.

She turned to give him the view from the back and looked at him over her shoulder. “Are my bows straight?”

“Bloody hell.” It sounded like he’d been punched.

“Good.” She bent to pick up the sweatshirt. The guitar thwanged as it hit the roof. “Thought I’d get rid of some old things.” She showed him a fist full of discarded briefs.

Jagger said nothing as he jumped to his feet.

Zee set the can aside, and teased a fingertip down his chest. “Do you like my new underwear?”

“Woman, you change gears faster than a Ferrari.”

“You don’t like them?”

He made a sound low in his throat. “I didn’t say that.”

Zee gave him a coy expression. “I have another set without bows if you prefer. They’re pink, but the panties are little more than a ruffle and a whisper. I bought a black pair that has a sweet little butterfly, but those don’t have a bra to match. Or lace. Do you like lace?”

“Is this a test? Are you trying to kill me?”

Zee wrapped her arms around Jagger’s neck and brushed his lips with her own. “No. I’m trying to say I’m sorry.”

“You have an interesting way of apologizing.” His hands played with the ties at her hips.

“I haven’t been fair to you. But that all stops now. I’m done trying to push you away. I’m done being afraid. I told you I was no good at this, but I want to be that girl in the mirror. I want you. Even if it’s only for the summer. I’m okay with all of it, as long as I can have you.”

“Sweetheart, you’ve had me since I wiped that smudge off your cheek.”

Their lips met in a kiss that left them both breathless. Jagger tugged playfully at a bow and spoke in a low, ragged voice. “Did you say something about lace?”

And thus, the panty parade was born.

****

“Jagger?”

“Mmmm.” They lay steamy and sated, entangled sideways in Zee’s bed. Panties and bras littered the room. A purple bra hung from the bedpost. He still held a torn remnant of lace clutched in a fist. When he discovered beneath a certain scrap of satin that she’d shaved herself bare as a babe, the granite length between his legs had removed all rational thought from his brain, save one. He’d wanted her. There and then. On the roof. But Zee had lured him into the comfort of the bedroom using her new knickers like breadcrumbs and things hit wildfire levels after that.