Authors: T. H. Snyder
I walk past the mirror in the front hallway and glance at my reflection.
I take a step back just to make sure I appear presentable for our day out as friends, yeah friends that’s it.
I look myself over from head to toe and smile; I look good.
Tonight I’m wearing a pair of black leggings with a black top that stretches a bit past my hips and a wide red belt I threw on for a splash of color. Since Loudon is a bit taller than I am, I chose to wear my black chucks that have a wedged heel. I’ve had them in my closet for the past year, but never had a reason to wear them. They looked cool in the store, so I bought them. Now, they’re finally getting put to good use.
Not that it really matters what I look like, but I don’t want to be the girl to scare him off. He’s one of the only people that can stand me and my choice of wardrobe without judging me or making rude comments.
The doorbell rings and I jump in place.
Okay Zar, stay cool. It’s just Allie’s brother, Loudon, no big deal.
I stand up straight, take in a deep breath and let it all out.
Cool as a cucumber.
I walk over to the foyer and reach to open the door, but not before running my fingers through my hair and pulling my shirt straight.
I’m way over-thinking this.
I open the door and my jaw instantly drops at the sight of him. I’ve never been the type of girl to gawk, but when I’m around Loudon it’s kind of hard not to drool.
My eyes scan his body from top to bottom.
Loudon is tall, very tall. He’s wearing a black button down long-sleeved shirt and a pair of washed out jeans that hang on his hips perfectly. I look back at his face and a smile is spread from dimple to dimple. His eyes are a brilliant green against the black of his shirt.
He really is a handsome guy and I smile thinking that he’s here to see me. I shiver at the thought; he has such a weird effect on me.
I try to get out of my Loudon trance and blink my eyes as I hear him clear his throat.
“Hey Zar, you look great. Can I come in or should we just stand in the doorway and stare at each other in awkward silence?”
“Umm, well…umm yeah come on in,” I stutter.
What a jackass.
“So what’s there to do here in Des Moines? You hungry?” He asks walking in a circle around me.
“Yeah, sure I can eat,” I say.
I roll my eyes at myself and smack my head in my hand.
Loudon comes up close behind me and I can feel his breath on my neck. The feelings that run through me when he‘s this close are unreal. He has no fears, no filter and is probably so much more experienced in this kind of thing than I am.
“You smell nice, Zar,” he says.
I turn to face him and we’re so close our noses could touch.
“Thanks,” I whisper.
“You look really nice, too,” he says.
Wow, he’s so close to me and it feels so good to have all his attention on me. I’m nervous and excited all at the same time, but I honestly don’t know what to do.
“Umm, Loudon,” I say.
“Yeah, Zar.”
“Your breath smells really bad,” I say putting my hand in front of my face to cover my mouth and nose.
He quickly backs up and goes to cup his hand over his mouth to smell his breath.
I’m laughing so hard that I can barely stand up straight. Between the look on his face and the fact that he’s still trying to smell his breath, it’s all too much for me to bear.
I move into the living room and fall onto the couch in a fit of laughter. Loudon follows me and plops down on the couch next to me.
“You think your little joke was funny, Zar?”
In between laughs I try to answer him, but the best I can do is nod my head up and down. He starts laughing with me and goes to stand in front of my legs.
“Oh yeah, we’ll see who’s laughing after I get done with you.”
Totally unsure of what he means by that, I stop laughing and look into his bright green eyes. His stare and facial expression are so serious; I don’t know what to make of it.
He kneels down in front of me and grabs for my waist to tickle me. Before I know it, he has me on my back under him and I can barely breathe from laughing so hard.
I look up at him and he’s staring down at me.
I close my eyes and take in a deep breath.
The feel of his body on mine and knowing that he’s watching me has my heart racing. A strange feeling overpowers me, a feeling I haven’t experienced before but have heard about. I can only assume it’s desire and holy hell, it’s overwhelming. I’ve never felt this way; in fact I’ve in no way been this close to a guy before.
I start to open my eyes and I see Loudon move toward me.
His lips are on mine.
Loudon is kissing me…me.
I want to scream, cry and jump up and down all at once.
After all this is my first kiss.
I don’t have anything to compare this to, but I will say that it is…well wow!
He has his lips are pressed firmly against mine and I can feel his tongue sweep across my lower lip. Having no clue what the hell I’m doing, I open my mouth allowing him to explore this kiss a little further.
I can feel his tongue in my mouth and I begin to squirm under his body. It feels awkward, but at the same time it’s one of the best moments of my life. Not only is he paying attention to me, but his tongue is in my mouth.
Loudon breaks away from our kiss and climbs off of me and the couch.
“Shit, sorry Zar. I guess I got a bit carried away, I shouldn’t have done that,” he says while touching his lips with his hand.
“Umm, no it’s….I mean, well it’s fine,” I stutter, trying to sit up on the couch.
Oh god, was it that bad of a kiss? For me it was good, but maybe for him it was awful.
“Nah, it was wrong of me. It’s just that I was tickling you and you looked so damn cute laughing like that.”
Wait, what? He thinks I’m cute…like puppy dog cute?
I look up at him standing in front of me; his hand rubbing the back of his neck.
He looks down at me and stretches his arm out to reach for my hand.
“Come on. Let’s not have that moment ruin our night. So what do you wanna do?” He asks.
I stand as he pulls me up next to him. After that kiss and his way of brushing it off I really don’t know if I want to continue on with our night.
The feelings I had only a few minutes ago are now being smothered by something all together different. I’m not sure how to deal with the situation we are now faced with.
“Zar, did you hear me?” He asks, touching my arm and turning me to face him.
“Yeah, I heard you. Sorry I guess I’m just a little out of it.”
“You okay? Do you just wanna stay in and chill here instead of going out?”
Actually that‘s not a bad idea. Who knows what or who we may run into if I go out with him in town? The last thing I need is to be embarrassed by my peers in public with Loudon.
“That sounds good. Why don’t I order us a pizza and we can watch a movie here,” I say, walking away from him and out toward the kitchen.
I can sense that he’s following me and I turn in my tracks.
“Is that okay with you? I mean, you don’t have to stay here if you don’t want to.”
He gives me a questionable glance and takes a step closer.
“Why would you think I wouldn’t want to stay here with you? I came all the way down here to spend time with you Zar.”
“I know, but after you kissed me and then apologized for it…well I just thought maybe you realized you didn’t want to stay here with me after all.”
He moves another step closer to me and reaches out for my hands. I watch as he intertwines our fingers together and looks me straight in the eyes.
“Zar, I don’t know about you, but I want to be here with you more than anywhere else. I couldn’t wait until tonight knowing that I’d get to see you again,” he says, looking away and shaking his head.
“What? What is it?” I ask.
“As crazy as this may sound, I haven’t stopped thinking about you since the night at the pizzeria. I didn’t know you were Zeke’s sister and then a few days later you walk into my bedroom with my sister. How wild is that?”
I smile at his comment and the way his eyes are piercing into mine.
“I know exactly what you mean Loudon, it’s just that…I’ve got a lot on my mind and this isn’t something that I expected or would really ever do. I’m not the biggest social person; in fact, I don’t really know anyone that would rather spend a Saturday night here with me.”
I don’t know if what I just said makes any sense to him, but for me I just revealed a lot in a short amount of time.
In the past few hours, I’ve dressed up like a girl for a guy, I’ve been kissed and I shared a part of my darkness with someone that could still be considered a complete stranger.
Loudon pulls me into his body to embrace me.
I can feel his heart beating through our shirts so I can guarantee he feels mine as well.
This is a lot to take in for me and I’m not quite sure where we go from here. I mean, he seems to feel the same way I do.
Not like I even know what that is exactly.
So where do we go from here?
He slowly pulls away from me and kisses me on the forehead.
“Zar, I want you to know that I’ve never done the whole dating a girl thing. Between going to practice and hanging with the guys, it really wasn’t something I paid much attention to or found important. I don’t have the best reputation when it comes to girls and I’m not the best guy to want as a boyfriend. With you though, I want to try and see where this goes.”
He’s looking at me.
I mean, really looking at me.
His green eyes staring into mine waiting for an answer. He has no clue what he’s getting himself into, wanting to be with me.
There’s so much he doesn’t know and once he does…what will happen then?
“Loudon, I’ve never…and I mean never done this. You don’t even know me, who’s to say once you do that you’ll even want to spend time with me?”
“I can promise you that no matter what it is that you’re afraid of, it won’t make me want you any less. I like you, Zar, and I want to spend time getting to know you better.”
He pulls me back into his arms and rests his chin on the top of my head.
“So Doll, tonight it’s just me and you, let’s get cracking on our first date?”
Well, when he puts it that way, how can I say no?
I hear a door slam and my eyes shoot wide open. I begin to look around at my surroundings and eventually I realize where I am.
What the hell? My heart skips a beat.
I’m really warm and I can feel a hard body next to me.
What the hell? My heart starts to beat a bit faster.
I look around once again. I can see that the television is playing movie credits, there’s an empty pizza box on the coffee table and a set of legs are propped up next to two cans of soda.
What the hell? My heart is now beating in a full speed rhythm and about to pop out of my chest.
Glancing at the pair of legs I start to sit up and see that Loudon is snoozing next to me.
“Oh god, we must have fallen asleep,” I say to myself.
Not quite sure how I should wake him, I place my hand on his chest to try and nudge him awake without scaring him.
An instant spark hits my hand as I run my fingers along his soft black shirt.
A smile creeps across my face as I watch him sleep; his breathing is even and quiet.
It amazes me how calm I can feel around him.
This is nothing I ever experienced, even with my family.
Something about him soothes me.
I can hear footsteps coming through the floor upstairs and know that someone will be coming down the steps any minute.
“Loudon,” I say as quietly as I can while pushing down on his chest.
He starts to move and I quickly pull my hand away.
I put my hand back on his chest to nudge him.
I can hear him mumbling something, but I can’t quite make it out.
I lean in closer to him.
My senses go into hyper aware mode. He smells so good…like clean laundry and his cologne.
I close my eyes and take in his scent.
A warm arm wraps around my back and I jump.
He starts to laugh and pulls me in close against his chest.