Pink Wellies and Flat Caps (27 page)

Sara nods and winks at me.

‘And she’s got the gift you know?’ continues Lydia in hushed tones.

Of the gab?

‘Her psychic abilities are amazing,’ she adds with a sniff. ‘She raised my uncle
…’

Blimey, I thought only Jesus could do those sort of things.

‘Really,’ I say with bated breath.

Ah, that would explain her prescient phone call.

‘Yes, Aunt Miriam nearly died on the spot and joined him. It was so real,’ she sighs and looks up at the ceiling.

Sara and I look up also, but all I see are yellow stains and damp patches.

‘Luce tried to reach Edward’s father, but Edward stopped her.’

‘Edward doesn’t believe in that stuff,’ says Sara softly, wiping her hands on a cloth.
             

‘Well,’ sniffs Lydia
, ‘He should come to some of our workshops, especially our spiritual enlightenment one.’ She looks curiously at her empty glass and then at me.

‘What happened to my champagne?’

‘You drank it,’ I say, filling her glass.

‘I feel so full of positive energy. You
’ve infused this house with beautiful positivity Alice. I feel so light headed and airy when I’m around you.’

You feel drunk
, I think, but don’t say anything. I fill a glass of champagne for myself and hear Edward laughing above the loudness of the music, but all I can think of is Charlie, and what I will do if he asks me to try again. I jump at a rapping sound on the back door and look in horror. What if this is him? I feel my legs tremble where the sudden surge of adrenalin rushes through my body.

‘Oh wonderful,’ mumbles Sara, pulling a face.

She opens the door and Dominic pops his head round.

‘Do you have room for one more? I hear there
is something to be celebrated.’

H
e smiles at me.

‘Of course,’ I say apprehensively, and then quickly add, ‘I’m sure Edward would have invited you but he thought you were dining with Reverend Marsh.’

He kisses me on the cheek, his lips as cold as ice and I shudder.

‘Now you know that’s not true Alice. You’re just too nice. I’m just on my way back from the old Rev’s actually, and Bryce said there was a celebration here, so I thought I’d come and join you.’

‘Bryce?’ I query.

‘The old Rev,’ laughs Dominic
. ‘He told me Edward got the milk licence.’

I hadn’t considered the Reverend had a name apart from The Reverend.

Sara brushes past him with a plate of crackers.

‘Yes, not bad for a farmer who doesn’t know what he’s doing,’ she says in a sarcastic tone.

‘You’re looking lovely as always,’ Dominic says, ignoring her and lowering his eyes to my breasts.

I had changed into my favourite dress. I bought it a year ago, just after Charlie and I had got engaged. I love the way the plain black sheath dress can look dressed down and transformed with a simple string of pearls. I always feel elegant in this dress. I had pinned up my hair into a neat bun and even I feel I look lovely. In fact, I suppose tonight would be the perfect night for Charlie to come. He would see how well my breasts hang in the new bra. After all, he never did get to see that and he would realise just what he threw away. For goodness sake Alice, don’t think of Charlie, not tonight of all nights.

‘I’d better go back,’ Lydia
says nervously, edging her way past Dominic and spilling her drink as she does so.

Dominic is grinning at me in that dangerously handsome way
that he has. I turn away feeling embarrassed and fumble at the Aga.

‘I should take out the pizzas
,’ I say, feeling my face grow hot.

His hand bushes my hip.

‘Let me do that. I bet you’ve been slaving over that stove all afternoon. I wish you’d give me the pleasure of slaving over mine for a couple of hours,’ he says lowering his voice and stroking my bottom.

Christ on a bike, where is that hand going? I clench my buttocks in a reflex action. They certainly don’t need Viagra in the country. No wonder the women down here always have rosy cheeks. They must be having orgasms left right and centre.
             

‘Ooh,’ I squeal as his large hand cups my perfect hanging breast.

‘So when are you going to slave over my stove?’ he whispers in my ear and then hungrily nibbles it.

Before I know where I am his other hand is massaging my breast and he is pushing me against the Aga. This would have been lovely and romantic had the Aga been off. I feel the heat against the back of my thigh and Dominic’s hardness at the front. Heavens, I’m not sure which is worse. This certainly isn’t the kind of pictures you see in the Aga section of
County Life
magazine, I gently push him back.

‘The Aga is hot,’ I mumble.

‘So are you,’ he replies gruffly and spins me around so my back presses against the table.

‘When are you going to find time for me Alice? I’ve so much to offer you.’

Yes I can feel that. I fumble behind knocking off my Nigella Lawson cookbook. At that moment Sara flings open the kitchen door.

‘I’ll take the pizzas
…’ She stops and seems to freeze.

I untangle myself from Dominic and shakily reach for the tea towel that Lydia had left on the table.

‘Great timing,’ mumbles Dominic under his breath.

I pull a face at Sara and rescue Nigella.

‘Too much wine at the Reverend’s Dominic?’ she says dryly.

‘Don’t worry Sara, you’re safe.’

I gasp. That was a bit mean, but Sara just smiles and responds with,

‘Thank God,’ before grabbing my arm and pulling me into the living room as Jed taps on his champagne glass.

‘I think I can say on behalf of everyone here that this is indeed a special day. Congratulations Ted, and well done.’

Jed looks so handsome and animated. I so wish Georgie was here to see him. Everyone raises their glasses and responds with a raucous
hear! hear!
Edward’s eyes meet mine and I feel he is smiling at just me. We lock eyes for a few seconds before Sara bounds into his arms holding a large prettily wrapped parcel.

‘It’s just an MP3 player and a new pair of boots but Jed and I wanted to get you something,’ she grins.

He hugs her tightly lifting her from the ground.

‘Put that woman down Ted, how many times do we have to tell you Sara is not your type.’

Everyone laughs heartily and Edward kisses her. Sara blushes and I can see that she really does like him. I turn away. I’m so out of place here. I have no idea about farming. Not in the way that Sara does anyway. I feel very lonely. Perhaps I need to face the truth. Better now than after I make a fool of myself over a man who not only has a fiancée but also a woman who clearly adores him and who he obviously likes. I tiptoe into the kitchen as Edward is dragged to a chair to make a speech. It is chilly outside and I slip back to fetch my shawl before walking to the cowshed. It is a clear night and the stars twinkle in the silvery moonlight. I gaze at them for a while knowing that once I return to London the stars will never look as bright or the air smell so fresh. I open the creaky shed door and gently call for Chloe. The shed has an eerie silence and even after flicking the light on the atmosphere lingers. I look frantically for Chloe with the shawl slipping from my shoulders. I listen for her breathing but all I can hear is the muffled music from the farmhouse.

‘Chloe,’ I say softly, feeling bile rise up and threaten to choke me. I spin round at a sound behind me and almost slip on some cow dung. It is Edward. He looks drawn and pale in the moonlight.

‘Alice … I …’

‘Where’s Chloe?’

Did I scream that? Oh God where is she? Chloe, the only thing that matters, the only living thing that showed me I was worthwhile. It was the last thing I had left. I feel like I’ve suddenly lost everything.

‘Alice, I started to tell you outside church this morning. That’s why I came really and then Martha came out of church and I haven’t had a chance to talk to you since … Well
…’

I feel
overwhelming anger fuelled by the champagne. I cannot control myself.

‘What did you do to her
?’ I cry, tears pouring down my cheeks.

He looks distressed and moves towards me.

‘Don’t touch me,’ I scream.

W
hat has he done?

‘Chloe had TB, that’s why she wasn’t feeding. I had to have her put down
,’ he says flatly, lowering his head.

‘No!’ I scream. ‘No
, no.’

I rush towards him before I know what I am doing, and pound at his chest with inhumane pressure. Damn hi
m, damn Charlie, damn everyone.

‘Fuck you Edward Fairfax. You’re just a monster. Why didn’t you do something? You’re supposed to be a vet. It was just the quick option for you wasn’t it?’

He grabs my arms, pinning them to my side. Martha and Jed stand at the door with a horror-stricken Sara behind them.

‘Alice, I couldn’t help her. I had no choice, it would have spread to the whole herd and we would have lost them all, and we’ve only just got the milk licence. It wasn’t easy. I knew what she meant to you.’

‘You had no idea what she meant to me. No idea at all. How dare you be so arrogant to say that?’

‘Alice
, please …’

I pull myself free by kicking him in the shins.

‘Fuck the milk licence and fuck you, you bastard,’ I scream, stumbling past him and pushing past Jed and Martha.

‘Alice,’ calls Sara.

I turn on her angrily.

‘Did you know? Did he tell you before me?’

She shakes her head emphatically.

‘No, I didn’t know Alice. I’m so sorry. I know how much you loved Chloe.’

‘Alice please, let’s talk about this,’ pleads Edward, reaching out to me.

I shrug him off and stride towards my Beetle.

‘I don’t ever want to talk to you again, and if you touch little Pepper with your murdering hands and turn her into gammon, I’ll kill you.’

He lifts his hands in a defeated gesture. I climb into the Beetle and drive off. Tears blur my eyes and I have no idea where I am going. I only know I need a bag of Maltesers and to get as far away f
rom Edward Fairfax as possible.

With tear
-streamed eyes blurring my vision, and driving like a maniac, I feel the Beetle start to shudder.

‘Damn it,’

My hand is clenched tightly around the gearstick.

‘You should never drive when you’re angry,’ Georgie had once said
. ‘You practically give the gearstick a handjob when you do.’

I realise I have not only been giving the gearstick the handjob of its life but I’ve also been driving at almost sixty miles an hour in third gear. My little Beetle must have thought I was trying to throttle it. I’ve stopped outside an off-licence I didn’t even know existed. How fortunate is that? They will certainly sell chocolate. Rain splatters on the windscreen and I throw my shawl over my head and dive into the shop. I must look a sight. My face is, no doubt, blotchy from crying and my hair has come loose from its bun. I try to tuck the loose tendrils behind my ears. The assistant looks at me wide-eyed, and it occurs to me she may think I’m drunk. Next thing she’ll be reporting me to the police for drunk driving. I suddenly realise I have been. I’d completely forgotten that I had downed at least half a bottle of champagne, if not more. I am without doubt a drunk driver. They could throw me into prison. I jump back as if she had slapped me and she gives me an even stranger look. I must not let her smell my breath, whatever happens don’t breathe Alice.

‘Hello,’ I say hoarsely pulling my shawl around me to cover my well
-hung breasts.

‘Can I help you?’

‘I only want chocolate. I’m not a drinker, so I don’t want alcohol. I hardly ever drink, especially if I’m driving,’ I babble. ‘In fact, I only came here because I couldn’t find a sweet shop.’

I’m beginning to sound incoherent. I lean forward to grab a family size bag of Maltes
ers and trip over my own feet.

‘Are you okay?’ she asks kindly.

‘Of course, why shouldn’t I be?’ I reply anxiously and put a packet of mints with the chocolate.

Of course that is probably a clear give away that I have drunk too much. I probably have puffy red eyes from crying, which will make me look even more sloshed. I quickly hand over the money and retreat to my car where I consume a handful of Maltes
ers before driving off. I think of Chloe and the tears flow again.

‘Bastard,’ I mumble,
popping Maltesers into my mouth.

What will I do without Chloe every day? I can’t stay there with him. Bugger the farm, bugger the milk licence and bugger Edward Fairfax. Yes, bugger and bugger him. Poor little Chloe, it doesn’t bear thinking about. I hope she didn’t feel anything. Don’t think about it, that’s the best thing. I struggle to think of somewhere to go and realise there isn’t anywhere. I would have gone to Sara’s, but that’s impossible. I bet she is consoling Edward right this minute, no doubt telling him he did the right thing. I can’t go back to Trenowyth, I just can’t. My phone vibrates but ignoring it I give the gearstick the best handjob ever and crunch the gears before swerving into the next lay-by. I pull the Nokia from my bag; there are three missed calls, all from Edward. He can just piss off. I have never felt so angry since Charlie broke off the engagement. In fact, I’m angrier and certainly more distressed. Turning the car around I head to Dominic’s house. Hopefully he will be home by now. I don’t think he would have stayed at Trenowyth. Even I won’t be staying at Trenowyth. I’ll phone Charlie. Tell him I am happy to give us a second chance. The problem is I’m not sure I want to give Charlie and me a second try. I miss Chloe so much already. I turn the Beetle into the driveway of Lower End Farm and feel her judder again. The lights are on thank goodness and he opens the door even before I have left the car, and before I know it he is helping me from the Beetle and drawing me into his arms.