Pink Wellies and Flat Caps (37 page)

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Authors: Lynda Renham

Tags: #Humor & Entertainment, #Humor, #Love; Sex & Marriage, #Literature & Fiction, #Humor & Satire, #General Humor

BOOK: Pink Wellies and Flat Caps
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Oh dear. It seems now is the time to break the bad news.

‘About Pepper,’ I begin.

‘Yeah,’ she says, blissfully unaware of my plan.

‘It’s just I’m not taking him to a pig sanctuary …’

Her head snaps up and a small piece of
baklava misses her mouth and dribbles down her silk shirt.

‘You’re surely not taking him back to London?’
she asks incredulously, dabbing at the stain.

‘Well
, where else can I take him?’

She rolls her eyes and exhales loudly before pushing the dessert away.

‘Here of course. That’s what I thought you were going to do. You know just drop him off at a pig rescue home or somewhere where pigs go. I mean how do I know …?’ she trails off with a groan and puts her head in her hands.

‘Y
ou can’t put him in Charlie’s car; it will stink to high heaven.’

‘I know. That is why we need to get back before Charlie and get the car valeted.’

‘Valeted,’ she shrieks. ‘Ali, can you hear yourself? If he doesn’t smell the pig shit he will smell where it has been valeted. Are you completely out of your mind?’

‘I’ll tell him I had it valeted as a Christmas gift,’ I say defensively.

She shakes her head and signals to the waiter for the bill.

‘You cannot put a pig in a car to travel six hours. Christ, we won’t be able to open a window it case it jumps out. God Ali, I don’t believe you. I’m getting the sodding train home then and
…’

‘No,’ I shout and quickly lower my voice. ‘You have to come back with me. I can’t possibly drive and keep a check on Pepper.’

‘For fuck’s sake,’ she moans. ‘I hope I get a bloody medal for this, and I’m not talking Blue Peter badge.’

‘Thank you,’ I say, blowing her a kiss.

‘I’m not even going to ask where Pepper is going to live.’

‘Well, I
…’

‘No, I don’t want to know,’ she interrupts, ‘and before you get any ideas the answer is
no
. No bloody pig is coming to live with me. I know I’m desperate but Christ almighty.’

She stands up abruptly and for one awful moment I think she is leaving me to go home. My heart sinks.

‘Come on, I need a good night’s sleep or I will never cope with tomorrow’s excitement. God help me. Dinner is on you.’

I hug her tightly. I also need a good night’s sleep but I somehow ha
ve a feeling I won’t get a wink.

 

 

 

Edward

 

I spin Luce around and she twirls expertly before landing pertly back into my arms, her eyes creasing with laughter. She always was good at dancing whereas I am useless.

‘Are you enjoying it?’ she asks earnestly
. ‘Malcolm is so thrilled you came. He has been dying to meet you.’

I point to the packed bar.

‘Let’s get a drink shall we?’ I say, deliberately avoiding the question.

‘Okay,’ she smiles, but I can see the tightness in her mouth.

‘Is something wrong Edward?’

I’d been in New Zealand for a week and
everything
is wrong. I’m not surprised; I hadn’t expected it to be any other way. Maybe I should have listened to Jed but I like to do things my own way.

‘It’s a hell of a way to go Ted. I don’t mind taking care of everything here but I’m just thinking of you mate.’

And all I can think about is Trenowyth. Maybe Luce was right, I should never have taken on the farm. But I did. Then, of course Alice had come wafting into the farmhouse on a cloud of Femme perfume. Some days I swear I can still smell it in the kitchen. I’m sure it isn’t there. It’s in my memory in much the same way as Alice got under my skin and in my blood; her perfume has glued itself to my nostrils. I swear I can even smell it here all these miles from England.

 

I watch Luce as she gets our drinks. She is so comfortable here in New Zealand in a way I will never be. She is fitter than ever and
blossoms in a way she never did back home. The life here suits her. Personally, sunshine in December just doesn’t seem right. Drinking beer under the stars on a warm muggy night feels alien. Jed said it’s freezing back home but he’s keeping the place warm so the pipes don’t burst.

‘The last thing we need
is more floods,’ he had laughed.

Thinking of floods brings Alice to my mind again. That day I’d come home to find her mopping up the water from the leaky ceiling. Her cheeks had been rosy red from the effort of her shopping trip not to mention the frantic cleaning up. I had desperately wanted to kiss her that afternoon. I push Alice from my mind for the umpteenth time, reminding myself that she is to be married any day now to that toffee-nosed Charlie. Funny the twists and turns that life can take. Just a few months ago I had thought my future was well and truly mapped out. I would get Trenowyth back on its feet and then fly out to join Luce in New Zealand where we would fulfil our dreams and finally marry. I had no idea how much the village would pull me in and how much farm life would fulfil me. Most importantly, I had no idea that my perfect woman would one day waltz into my kitchen and steal my heart. If only I could get her out of my head, but I think that is going to take some time. I have to continually stop myself from rewriting history. That last time I had seen her, what if I had said
don’t go Alice, stay here
, what would she have done? Would she have gone back to Charlie? No, I did the right thing. Life on a farm for a city girl would be disastrous no matter what she felt about me. Besides, that Charlie, and he certainly is one, is the kind of guy she ought to marry. He’s her type really, not the likes of me.

‘Darling, you’re miles away aren’t you?’

Luce stands beside me with two flutes of champagne. All around dancing under the moonlight are couples happily in love, enjoying the Christmas spirit while all I long for is cold crisp England. I sip the champagne and watch Luce’s cheeks turn pink as Malcolm, the chairman of the sanctuary, walks over with his nephew, Jason.

‘Edward,
it’s good to meet you at last. So you’re finally joining our little team,’ says Malcolm, his ruddy face breaking into a broad grin.

I shake his hand feeling his firm grip in mine. Jason avoids my eyes and holds his hand out awkwardly.

‘My nephew Jason, he has been working closely with Luce. We’re looking forward to having you on the team. I hear you have been doing wonderful work on your own farm back home in England. You’ll be a valuable asset here. How are you enjoying our little party?’

‘It’s different,’ I answer honestly and nod at Jason.

‘I hear you’ve been taking good care of Luce,’ I say coldly.

He tries to hide his discomfort by acknowledging a passing guest.

‘I’ve done my best.’

‘I’m sure you have.’

Luce squeezes my arm tighter than necessary and gives me an awkward smile.

‘So, how’s that little farm of yours doing in England?’ asks Malcolm, looking at me over the rim of his glass
. ‘Luce said you’ve got that out of your system and are ready to do some real work.’

I bristle. Did she indeed?

‘Not so little actually, and it’s doing very well thank you.’

Lucy blushes.

‘In fact, so well that I don’t actually think I am going to be able to leave it.’

‘Edward, darling, what are you talking about?’ Luce asks softly, hooking her arm through mine.

Jason gives me a cold stare and scoffs.

‘It sounds like Edward plans on letting you down yet again Luce,’ he says cockily.

They exchange glances and Malcolm puts a hand on my shoulder.

‘Well when you want to do some serious work Edward, get back to me.’

‘When you run a serious organisation, I might well do that,’ I snap.

‘Edward,’ Luce admonishes
. ‘What’s got into you?’

‘I could ask you a similar question. Except I’d ask
who
got into you,’ I say calmly, meeting Jason’s gaze.

Luce gasps and tries to stop Malcolm from walking away.

‘I’m so sorry Malcolm, I …’

He waves a hand.

‘We’ll see you in the morning Lucy,’ he says sternly.

‘Edward?’ she says questioningly.

Jason smiles at me.

‘The pleasure was mine,’ he says smugly.

Tears roll down Luce’s cheeks and I want to hug her, to tell her it really doesn’t matter any more.

‘You weren’t damn well here,’ she snaps angrily, wiping roughly at the tears.

‘I know,’ I say honestly.

‘So why have you come at all if you have no inten
tion of staying.’

‘Because it’s more honest to end it face to face, don’t you think?’

‘You’re trying to make me feel guilty,’ she says accusingly.

Jason lays a hand on her shoulder.

‘I’ll be at the bar if you need me.’

‘Truly I’m not trying to make you feel guilty. I wanted to see if you were really happy here, and you are. This life suits you Luce. I thought it would me also, but it doesn’t. My life is on the farm
…’

‘But there is nothing there,’ she cries angrily. ‘That village is dead, and they’re all old there and it’s so cold. I don’t understand what you’re saying.’

I stroke her hand softly.

‘Luce, we want different things
…’

‘We didn’t always,’ she whispers
. ‘It’s not serious with Jason. I just got lonely …’

‘It doesn’t matter. I wasn’t here, you’re right. I don’t want to be here Luce and you don’t want to be at Trenowyth. You hate it there
.’

She averts her eyes confirming the truth in my words.

‘Have you met someone else?’ she asks softly. ‘Or has Sara got something to do with this?’

‘Sara has got nothing to do with this. I’m talking about you and me,’ I snap.

‘There have always been three in this relationship, no wonder it didn’t work. I sometimes think that you love Sara more than you love me.’

‘You’re being ridiculous. You know how things are with Sara
…’

‘I don’t think either you or Sara
knows how it is,’ she interrupts. ‘You should sort yourselves out for everyone’s sake.’

‘And you should sort yourself out with that wanker Jason’, I say crossly.

She looks at me tearfully.

‘Oh Ted. I couldn’t do the farming thing, I would go potty, you know that, why don’t you just give it a try here?’

I shake my head.

‘I know my own mind Luce, that much you know about me surely. I didn’t want to end this over the phone, and to be honest this is the most I’ve seen you since I’ve arrived, and you’ve not even tried to make time for me
…’

‘The
sanctuary is so demanding, and maybe I didn’t want to hear what you had to say.’

‘My place is on the farm and I can’t tell you how much I want to get back
.’

‘Young Farmers
’ Christmas bash no doubt,’ she smiles through her tears.

‘It’s not that bad.’

‘Neither is Jason,’ she smiles, giving him a wave.

‘Let’s agree to differ,’ I frown.

She leans across to kiss me on the cheek.

‘I’ll always love you, just not in that same way any
more.’

I kiss her and hand her my flute.

‘I need to book my flight home. This weather in December is driving me nuts.’

Just a few days before Christmas and everyone will be playing happy families and giving presents. It’s a time for love. I wonder what Alice will be doing. Cooking up a Christmas storm no doubt with Charlie and planning her winter wonderland wedding, that’s if she hasn’t already done it. I make my way to the exit and walk slowly to the hotel. After all, there is no reason to rush. I’ve no one to rush back to.

Chapter Thirty-Three

 

I decided from the moment we left the restaurant that I was going to be positive about everything. I figured that the slightest bit of negativity could have profound effects on Pepper. Yes, I know he is a pig but right now he is the closest thing to a child I have. Of course I am sure that Charlie and I will go on to have dozens of kids. Well, okay not dozens, but enough. And we’ll have one of those huge homes where it takes people all of ten minutes to navigate through the pushchairs, toys, wellingtons, and I suppose a save-the-whale poster in the hall. Okay, maybe not whales as I hope they would have been saved by then but some kind of animal-saving poster. Yes, that will be my life in a few years. At least I hope it will be as I really could not cancel a second wedding. Although I do have reservations about being called Mrs Alice Marrow, and do you blame me? For some reason whenever the name Marrow comes up I think of those marrowfat peas. How awful is that?
Please stand for Mr and Mrs Marrowfat-Pea.
Oh God, I can’t bear it. One thing I am determined about is that Charlie will never ever find out that I was the one that thwarted his big operation. So when Georgie and I enter the costume shop the next morning I look for the biggest mask in the shop. The assistant is engrossed in conversation on the phone.

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