Plastic Hearts (15 page)

I was so nervous about the gifts I had picked out for him that I could barely concentrate on what he was saying. Should I give them to him now or wait? What if he didn’t get me anything and I made him feel bad? I decided to keep it in my purse until later, hoping for the right opportunity.

He paid for dinner and we walked back to my car, hand in hand. I’d never had such a desire to touch a man. Usually it was something I felt inclined to do because I was in a relationship, but with Dane I couldn’t get enough. I think I surprised him when I turned and wrapped my arms around him, nuzzling my face in the crook of his neck. I felt safe and comfortable; I could stay in this moment forever. When he cupped my face and kissed me on the forehead, I felt like the only girl in the whole city. There was so much care in his touch; he made me feel appreciated. I finally let him go as we drove back to his apartment in silence.

I wasn’t ready for the evening to be over and I hadn’t given him his gift. “Do you want me to come up?” I asked. I couldn’t believe these words were coming out of my mouth. A couple weeks ago, they would have petrified me, but every day I felt more comfortable around Dane.

“I assumed you would. I have something for you,” he said with mischief in his eyes. He jumped out of the car and ran around to open my door, offering me his hand. I think I swooned a little bit; this was the type of thing movies were made from.

His apartment was just like I remembered it the first time I was here: very clean and organized. “Do you want something to drink?” he asked.

“I better stick to water. I have class tomorrow.” I learned my lesson the last time I drank and wound up in Dane’s apartment.

He brought me a bottle of water and a beer for himself. I didn’t say anything as I watched him take sips from his beer. He looked at me with a knowing grin; Dane Wright knew how sexy he was and how to use it to his advantage.

I cleared my throat. “I have something for you too.” My hand trembled as I reached in my bag and handed him his gift.

“You didn’t have to get me anything.” His smile absolutely melted me. I wondered if he’d received gifts when he was younger since his parents weren’t really around. I could picture Dane giving his brother Christmas presents while getting nothing for himself; he was as unselfish as they come.

“I wanted to. Open it.”

I waited nervously, ringing my hands together as he opened the envelope. I had carefully picked out a card that didn’t say, “I love you”, but didn’t sound too impersonal either. I settled on one that talked about happy moments shared in the past and those yet to come. Dane smiled as he read it before lifting his eyes to mine. I smiled back, motioning for him to look in the envelope. He removed the two music festival tickets, grinning like a child in an ice cream shop. “I can’t believe you got these. You remembered. I know who’s getting the second ticket.”

“Who?” I asked, genuinely perplexed.

“You. Who else would I give it to?” He cocked his head to the side and looked at me like I had just called him by the wrong name.

“We’ll see.” It probably wasn’t the right time to tell him that I didn’t think we would be together then. I would be back in Greenwich and he would be living his life in the city. I motioned back toward the envelope. “There’s more.”

He reached behind the tickets and pulled out the gift certificate to the tattoo parlor. Now he was grinning like a five year old on Christmas. “Thank you, Baby. You have to come with me when I use this. Maybe you can get one, too.”

“Well, I’m glad you like it, but a big no to the tattoo for me. My parents would disown me.” This might be an exaggeration when some people say it, but for me it’s the absolute truth. My mother in particular would flip out if I marked my skin.

“You’re an adult and you can do whatever you want to do. If you want a tattoo, get one.”

“We’ll see,” I said, glancing around the room for any hint of my gift.

“But really, this is great. You don’t know how much this means to me. No one has ever actually bought me anything besides of my mother, and that was only when she was sober.” He gave me a soft kiss on the lips followed by another on the tip of my nose. “Let me go get your gift.”

He disappeared into his bedroom and I felt a dozen butterflies in my stomach. The anticipation was killing me. He returned with a large box wrapped with a red bow around it. “I’m sorry. I can’t wrap to save my life,” he said, handing me the box.

“It’s okay.” I nervously untied the bow and opened the box. Inside was one very new, very real, dark purple leather bomber jacket. “Dane, this is too much!” I ran my finger over the nice smooth leather before bringing it to my nose. I loved the smell of real leather.

“You’re worth it,” he said, stepping closer to me.

I lunged at him, wrapping my arms tightly around his neck as I planted kisses all over his cheek. “I love it,” I said before pressing my lips to his neck.

“I can’t wait to see it on you,” he whispered as he kissed me below my ear. When his lips finally met mine again, his tongue pressed against them and I opened to allow us to taste each other with the kiss. He kissed like his life depended on our connection, like it was his first kiss and his last kiss and the only kiss that had ever really mattered.

Before I realized what had happened, my back was on the couch and he was nestled between my legs, my skirt working itself up my thigh. He slowly unbuttoned the top three buttons of my shirtdress, exposing my bra and cupped one breast in his hand while the other worked its way through my hair, his lips never leaving mine. All I could think about was him: his scent, his taste and his body pressed against mine. When he pulled one side of my bra down and teased my nipple between his fingers I thought about stopping him, but I couldn’t. My body had never felt so aware, or so hungry. I wanted Dane; his touch and his kisses made me feel everything. He started to kiss his way down so his mouth was where his fingers had been, rolling my nipple with his tongue. I could feel his excitement pressed against my leg and something inside propelled me to touch him, running my hand over his slacks. He ran his hand up my leg before pushing my panties aside, settling it between my legs as he started moving his fingers against me, shooting electricity through my whole body. It was like nothing I had ever felt before.

For a few minutes I forgot my name, my life; all I felt was the gorgeous man on top of me, sending jolts of lust through places I didn’t even know existed. I never let myself feel this way: so free, so open, so willing to do new things. Dane made me want more. I finally came undone, saying his name before he captured my mouth with his again. He lifted himself up and started pulling my panties down, but I grabbed his hands, freezing him in place. “I don’t want to go any further, okay?” My body was singing for me to experience everything with Dane, but my mind wasn’t quite ready to take that step.

He gave me a questioning look before climbing back up my body, cupping my face in his hands. I could smell my arousal on him and it shot more warmth through me. “Do you want to stop?”

“I don’t want to go any further, not now.” I gave him a kiss on the tip of his chin while running my hands through his hair.

He sighed, but a sated smile touched his lips. “I might need to go take a cold shower.”

“I should probably tell you something.” I bit my lower lip, trying to work up the courage to have “the talk”. This was a conversation I’d had with other guys, but they were easy to deny. Dane was different; I could see myself giving this part of me to him and it made me really nervous.

“You can tell me anything, Gorgeous.” His eyes were looking right into mine and the warmth behind them helped me relax.

“I’m a virgin.” The words came out so quickly and quietly that I was not even sure if he understood what I said, but his body went completely still.

He finally blinked. “What?”

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. “I’ve never had sex before.”

He pushed up so he was supporting himself with an arm on either side of me. “What? Why?”

“I guess I’ve never found the guy who deserves all of me yet. I want it to be special and really, I would like it to be the guy I’ll be with for the rest of my life.” My voice was shaking as I thought about the meaning behind what I said. I was talking about forevers and happily ever afters.

“I’ve never been anyone’s first. I can’t,” he said, shaking his head.

“What are you talking about, Dane?” He was making me nervous; I hoped my little admission wasn’t a deal breaker. I knew I wasn’t the type of girl Dane was used to, but he was certainly not the type of guy I was used to either.

He tilted his head to the side. “I’ve had my share of girls, but I’ve never had anything serious. I would hate it if my sister lost her virginity to some prick like me. I don’t deserve it.” His words ripped through me. I hated that he thought of himself like that; if he could only see what I see.

“What if you’re the one I want to give it to?” I cupped his face in my hands and ran my thumbs over his cheekbones.

“I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. I still can’t believe you’re mine. When the time comes, if you’re sure-”

I cut him off. “If I do anything, it’s because I’m sure. I won’t do anything I don’t want to do. I’m just not ready now.”

“I can wait, especially if I can do a little of this.” He laid back down on top of me and started to kiss my neck again. We continued like this for at least an hour before we fell asleep, wrapped in each other’s arms. He felt so warm and safe; I could sleep like this every night.

I was woken the next morning by Dane’s warm kisses across my face. This was better than an alarm clock any day. “Good morning,” I whispered, curling into him.

“Good morning, Gorgeous. Did you sleep well?” I slept better than I had slept in forever.

“Yes, I had this amazing human blanket keeping me warm and cozy all night.” I wrapped my arms around his neck, halting his kisses. As he looked in my eyes, I felt something new inside of me. It was a feeling I had never felt towards a man before; it made butterflies multiply in my stomach, but at the same time scared me to death. Looking up at Dane, I realized I was falling for him; that realization caused me to freeze and panic.

The part of me that doubts everything made a sudden appearance. I saw my parent’s disappointed faces flash before me. I thought of the times I wasn’t enough. Dane didn’t tell me what to do or what I needed to change. He was lying here beside me, calling me Gorgeous, kissing me like he meant it and for once I felt complete. Dane was the half that makes me whole.

Dane lifted my chin, bringing my eyes back up to his, “Are you okay? You have a weird look on your face,” he said, brushing the hair out of my eyes with his free hand. The softness of his touch made me close my eyes and take a deep breath; he had a way of relaxing me.

“Yeah, I’m sorry. I was just thinking about something I have to do this morning before class. I should probably get going.” I needed time to think about what the feeling in my chest meant. “And I should probably change out of the clothes I wore last night.”

His face broke out in a smile. “Yeah, you don’t want anyone to know you just spent the night wrapped in your boyfriend’s arms.”

“Come on, time to get up,” I said, lightly smacking him on the shoulder.

He stood as I began to button my dress, pulling everything back into place. Fortunately, I’d worn my long pea coat which would help me cover the wrinkled state of my dress.

He reached for my hand, kissing my palm before wrapping his arms around me, pulling me in for a lingering kiss. We said our goodbyes and I had to hold back the words that wanted to escape my lips. I wanted to be honest and tell him that being with him scared me. My heart ached because I wanted to tell him everything about my parents and the conflict they caused within me. Most of all, I wanted to tell him he made me happy and made me feel things I’d never felt before. I was already broken, but he had the ability to break me into a million more pieces if I let myself fall for him.

Jade wasn’t in our room when I got back. She didn’t have class this early on Thursday so I could only assume that she didn’t come home last night. No surprise there. This happened a lot since she had started hanging out with Tyler.

I’d been stuck inside my own head since I left Dane’s apartment. What I felt this morning after waking up next to him terrified me. For one thing, it was too soon to feel this strongly about someone. This was not supposed to be happening and I let it. Was I ready for this?

I showered and dressed for class, not expecting Dane to come over with coffee; I had just left him an hour ago, but once again he surprised me. I was trying on the leather jacket he gave me when I heard the knock at the door and when I opened it, he noticed the jacket right away. “I knew it would look great on you. It looked great hanging in the store, but on you..there are no words,” he said, biting his lip and running his eyes down the length of my body.

“I love it. It’s not something I would have picked out for myself, but you have great taste.”