Please Forgive Me (7 page)

‘Very funny,’ she said unsmilingly.

Within a few minutes of the trek it was as though they’d landed on another planet. Leonie couldn’t get over the immensity of the dunes, the intense golden mass against the bluest of sky, a vast nothingness that seemed to go on forever. Almost post-apocalyptic with its scarcity of life, the sheer tranquillity of the place took her breath away. And as the small group watched the sun go down, and saw the golden sand gradually deepen to an intense shade of orange, she looked at Adam and knew that he was as much in awe of this as she was. In fact their entire caravan seemed to be rendered speechless by their surroundings.

‘Pretty cool, isn’t it?’ he said eventually and Leonie nodded.

‘Incredible,’ she gasped, but her trance was quickly broken when just then her camel decided that it might be a good time to take a little break. ‘Woah!’ she yelled, as the errant animal flopped to its knees, and once again deposited her on the ground like a tonne of bricks.

Again Adam seemed to find the whole thing hilarious, and this time couldn’t contain his laughter when Leonie had to dust herself off once more. She hadn’t wanted to get back on the narky brute after that as they clearly weren’t gelling, but had little choice, unless she wanted to trudge home on foot.

So by the time they got back on firm ground and reached the hotel, she was sore, bruised and covered in sand. Adam on the other hand, was just hungry.

‘How about you go and shower off all that sand and we’ll meet back down here for dinner?’ he suggested, the invitation so casual and easy it was as if they’d been doing it for years.

Leonie was pleased. ‘Sure, see you in an hour?’

‘Perfect.’

And back in her hotel room, as she stood beneath the cold, but very welcome shower spray in a strange hotel on the edge of the Sahara, Leonie smiled, getting the distinct feeling that this could be the beginning of something great.

Chapter 6

It was the day before Valentine’s Day and one of the busiest days at Flower Power Leonie had experienced so far. She and Marcy had worked like demons all day long, frantically taking in and getting orders ready to go out first thing the following day, as well as preparing bouquets for the wave of walk-in customers that they would undoubtedly have tomorrow. Valentine’s day mania really was something else and it felt like she’d been swimming in a sea of pink and red all day. Granted it was probably just as crazy back home, but as Leonie had never experienced it from the retailer side, she’d never really given it a second thought.

‘I can’t believe how
un
romantic this is!’ she complained to her boss, after taking a telephone order from yet another man who asked that she put ‘anything you like’ on the gift card. And so many guys were just popping in on spec and ordering pre-made bouquets for their other half, which wasn’t exactly thoughtful, was it? ‘These guys don’t seem to put any thought whatsoever into this.’ She indicated the pile of generic orders and bland message cards.

‘Welcome to the gifts industry sweetheart,’ Marcy said dryly. ‘What did you expect – Shakespeare?’

‘Well, no but I thought some of them could at least come up with something sweeter or more meaningful than just the bog standard ‘Happy Valentine’s Day.’’

‘Oh my, I think we’ve got a real live romantic on our hands here!’ her boss teased. ‘That sure won’t last long around here, I can tell you. You know, most guys don’t really think about this kind of stuff; they just do it because it’s expected of them.’

‘I suppose,’ Leonie said glumly, the scales having well and truly fallen from her eyes today. She wasn’t sure what she had been expecting exactly but it certainly wasn’t this frantic almost assembly line-type frenzy. Back home, Adam had always sent her a bouquet of red roses at work on the day, and took her out for dinner that evening – kind of mundane and unimaginative stuff now that she thought about it, but she’d always enjoyed the fuss and attention surrounding the occasion.

Now, looking at from the other side, it felt very different.
 

‘You didn’t
really
expect them all to declare undying love, did you?’ her boss asked, putting the finishing touches to yet another a red rose bouquet – one of hundreds she’d already completed. ‘Are they like that in Ireland? Poetic, I mean?’

‘Well no, but –’

‘But clearly
some
body was,’ she interjected with a knowing smile and Leonie wished she hadn’t brought the subject up. So far Marcy had been great fun to work for and so easy to chat to, but she wasn’t yet ready to discuss with her the reasons for being here. She knew the older woman suspected it had something to do with a man back home, hence the teasing, but to her credit she didn’t pry. ‘Well, poetic or not,’ Marcy continued, much to Leonie’s relief, ‘we’ve got a hell of a lot of lovin’ to get through today, so we’d better stop yackin’ and get crackin.’’

‘Sounds good to me,’ she replied, answering the ringing telephone for what felt like the umpteenth time that day.

When they finally finished at seven pm, having worked a full ten hours, Leonie was relieved to get back to the peace and quiet of Green Street. She put her key in the door, deciding that a long soak in the bath, followed by some good TV sounded like just the thing, as no doubt they’d be even busier tomorrow and …

 
Leonie paused mid-thought, as going inside, she spotted a couple of letters lying at her feet in the hallway. Her eyes widened. Wow, her very first post! This really made the apartment feel like home. But who on earth would be writing to her?
 

Then she smiled as she reached down to pick it up. That last time they’d spoken, Grace had asked for her address so she could send a housewarming card, so this was probably it. Phew, for a moment there she’d wondered if maybe Adam had found out where she was, but then again he would hardly…

Oh, there were two envelopes.

On the way upstairs to her apartment, Leonie tore open the first one to find as expected, a lovely housewarming card from her friend. Despite herself, tears pricked at the corner of her eyes when she read the short message.

Happy housewarming. Hope you’re happy in your new place, but not too much! We miss you and hope you’ll come back to us very soon.

Lots of love, Grace, Ray, Rocky and Rosie. XX

She absently ripped opened the second envelope, the card having made her feel lonely and a little bit sad. That wouldn’t have been Grace’s intention of course, but she couldn’t help it. It was almost as if… Leonie paused mid-thought as she unfolded a single piece of paper.

Dear Helena,

I’m not sure if you even live here any more, probably not, and I know it’s been a while, but I just wanted to let you know how sorry I am …

Leonie frowned. What the hell …? But then all at once, a thought struck her and she picked up the ripped envelope and turned it over.

‘Oh you eejit,’ she grunted, cursing herself for being so brainless. In her haste, she hadn’t bothered checking the name on the front of the letter, automatically assuming it was for her. But the letter was addressed to and obviously meant for Helena Abbott – the tenant who had lived here previously.

Feeling very stupid indeed, and also somewhat guilty for opening someone else’s private correspondence, Leonie quickly stuffed the letter back in the envelope, as if to try and undo her mistake. But there was no way of re-sealing it, as she’d been so careless when opening the thing she’d practically torn the envelope to smithereens…

She bit her lip, trying to decide what to do. The woman was still getting post here, yet the rental agency had no forwarding address for her so what was she supposed to do with it?

Turning the piece of paper over once more, she studied it properly. It was a very short letter – only a few scrawled lines, barely a note really – from a person called Nathan.

Leonie scanned the text, looking for an address or something that might indicate where it had come from, when a particular sentence caught her eye.

Just wondering if you ever got those other letters I sent you? You never replied (which I guess is understandable) but I hope they went a way towards explaining some things.

Other letters? Leonie cast her mind back to that box of envelopes hidden away in the back of wardrobe. Was he by any chance referring to those? She peered at the handwriting, trying to make a comparison. Difficult to tell, but it certainly looked very similar to the elegant, cursive script she’d seen before. Intrigued, she headed in to the bedroom to get the box.

Sitting down on the bed, she unwrapped the cellophane and lifted out a single envelope for comparison. Yes, the handwriting on this was
definitely
the same as the one that arrived today and she realised, flicking through the others, it also appeared on the other ten or so envelopes in this box – the ones he was referring to in today’s letter. Yet, all these remained unopened so clearly Helena Abbott
hadn’t
read them, despite the sender’s …what was his name again … Nathan’s hopes that she had.

Not only that, but she’d left them behind when she moved. So what was going on here?

Just then Leonie’s stomach rumbled, reminding her that it was late, she hadn’t yet eaten and more importantly, none of this really had anything to do with her. But still, she couldn’t resist reading through the short note again. He sounded quite nice, this Nathan guy. And clearly he was anxious to hear from Helena Abbott and to find out if his letters had explained …whatever needed explaining.

Leonie felt bad. She supposed she should let him know that Helena had moved and that his letters hadn’t been received. But then, there was no bloody return address on the envelopes was there?

So what was she supposed to do now? she wondered going back outside to the kitchen to make dinner. Chances were she was going to keep getting letters for Helena Abbott at this address, which was a bit of a pain. And seeing as there was no fear of your man getting the reply he sought, she certainly didn’t want to run the risk of him maybe one day turning up at her door and demanding to speak to Helena. Who knew what had gone on between them? No, she thought her mind racing, as she flung a ready-meal into the microwave, she’d better nip this in the bud and soon.

So maybe after dinner, she should open one of the other letters and just take a teeny peek at it to see if there was a return address. Then if she found something, Leonie could try and make contact with the guy and explain what had happened. OK, so it probably wasn’t the most straightforward way of doing things, but as there were so many unknowns, she really didn’t have much of a choice, did she?

My darling Helena,

It’s been some time since my last letter and while I guess I didn’t really expect a reply, I hope it helped you understand why I did what I did. I’m sure you must hate me for it, but if it’s any consolation I hate myself even more.

I was selfish, stupid and blinkered … all those things you accused me of, and although at the time I didn’t want to hear it, I know now that you were absolutely right.

Is it too late to say I’m sorry?

Please believe when I tell you that I love you more than anything else in this world. No matter what happens, and despite what you might think of me still, I just hope you realise that.

Please forgive me,

Nathan.

Setting the letter down alongside her on the sofa, Leonie stared into space, her thoughts going a mile a minute. After dinner, she’d taken the box into the living room and carefully opened the first letter on the pile.

And once she’d read the first couple of lines, she couldn’t bring herself to stop. OK so she really shouldn’t have read it
all
the way through, particularly when she was only supposed to be looking for a return address, but she just couldn’t help herself. Anyway, it was such a short letter that she’d had it read before she knew it, and it wasn’t as if it revealed all that much really.

But this all seemed pretty ominous now, didn’t it? Who was this guy? Clearly he was Helena Abbott’s other half – or had been – and was trying to get back into her good books after something he’d done.

Please forgive me.

Leonie couldn’t help but be intrigued. Had the couple split up, same as her and Adam? If so, then it seemed like Nathan was the one at fault and whatever he’d done, clearly he was very sorry for it. Why else would he be looking for forgiveness? And it looked like he wasn’t aware that Helena had since moved out either, given that he was still sending stuff to this address.

Anyway whatever he had done, Helena
couldn’t
have forgiven him, could she? she pondered. Not if she hadn’t read any of the letters in this box. And chances were this was why there
were
so many letters, and possibly why they were unopened in the first place! Leonie’s mind was racing now. Helena hadn’t opened any of the guy’s letters because whatever he’d done must have been bad enough for her to ignore him, and leave them all behind when she moved.

Now her curiosity soared, not least because this situation had a few parallels with her own. The guy was obviously determined to get Helena back but clearly had no idea that she hadn’t even
read
his previous letters, let alone forgiven him. Picking up the letter again, she reread Nathan’s words.

I’m sure you must hate me for what I did, but if it’s any consolation I hate myself even more.

What on earth had he done? Far from coming across as a faithless love-rat type, Nathan actually sounded quite sweet, and was obviously still very much in love with Helena. But the poor guy had no idea that his letters would continue to be unanswered and he was wasting his time.