Read Poets Translate Poets: A Hudson Review Anthology Online
Authors: Paula Deitz
Bed.
—You may as well have said
One wide gulf?
—Th
e drum-wail
Of your fi ngers.—
I’m not asking you to move mountains!
Love means . . .
—You are mine.
I understand you. So?
Th
e drum-wail of your fi ngers
Grows louder. (Scaff old and square.)
—Let’s go away.—And I: Let’s die,
I was hoping. It would be simpler!
Enough of this squalor:
Rhymes, rails, rooms, stations . . .
—Love is: a life.
—No, it was something else
To the ancients . . .
—So what?—
Th
e shreds
Of a handkerchief in my fi st, like a fi sh.
—
So, should we go?—And what would we take?
Prison, the rails, a bullet—you choose!
Death—and none of these arrangements!
—A life!
—Like a Roman tribune
M a r i na T s v eta e va
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Surveying the remnants of his force,
Like an eagle.
—
Th
en, we should say goodbye
.
6
—
I didn’t want that.
Not that
. (I’m thinking: listen!
Desire is the traffi
c of bodies,
While we should be souls—to each other
Hereaft er . . . )—And he didn’t say it.
(Right, when the time comes for the train to pull out,
You let pass to your women, as it were some
Goblet, the sad honor of
Parting . . . )—
Perhaps it’s my delirium?
Did I hear you right?
(You, polite liar,
Letting pass to your lover, as it were some
Bouquet, the bloodstained honor of this
Rupture . . . )—Clearly: syllable
Aft er syllable,
so—should say goodbye,
Th
at’s what you said?
(As it were some handkerchief
Let drop at a point of sweet
Excess . . . )—
In this battle
You—are Caesar.
(What an impudent thrust!
To let pass to your adversary the sword
You surrender, as if it were a
Trophy!)—He goes on: (some ringing
In my ears . . . )—I double over:
Th
e fi rst time I am spoken of personally
In this breakup.—
Do you say this to every woman?
Don’t deny it! A vengeance
Worthy of Lovelace.
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A gesture, doing you honor,
And stripping the meat from my
Bones.—A chuckle. Above the laughter—
Death. A gesture. (Without desire.
Desire is the traffi
c—
of others
While we shall be shades—to each other
Hereaft er . . . ) A last nail
Driven home. A screw, if the coffi
n is lead.
—A last, very last request.
—Yes.—Not a word, ever,
About us . . . to any . . . well . . .
Men aft er me.
(From their stretchers
Th
e wounded—do yearn for spring!)
—And I would ask the same of you.
Should I give you a ring, a keepsake?
—No.
—Your wide-open eyes are
Unreadable. (Like a seal
Set upon your heart, a signet ring
On your fi nger . . . No scenes!
I swallow.) More ingratiatingly, quieter:
—
A book then?—What, like you give to everyone?
No, don’t even write them, those
Books . . .
Th
is means, I mustn’t.
Th
is means, I mustn’t.
Mustn’t cry.
In our wandering
Fishermen’s tribe we
Dance—and don’t cry.
M a r i na T s v eta e va
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Drink—and don’t cry.
Pay with our hot
Blood—and don’t cry.
Pearls in a glass
Melt—and rule
Th
e world—and don’t cry.
—
So it’s me who’s leaving?
—I see
Right through you, Harlequin, for her fi delity,
You fl ing your own Pierrette—a bone,
Th
at most contemptible
Prize: the honor of ending it,
Of ringing down the curtain. Th
e last
Word. An inch of lead
In my breast: would be better, hotter
And—cleaner . . .
My
teeth
Press into my lips.
I will not cry.
All my strength—to press into
My soft est fl esh.
And not cry.
In our wandering tribe
We die, and don’t cry,
Burn, and don’t cry.
In ashes, in songs,
We do bury the dead
In our wandering tribe.
—
So am I fi rst? Mine the fi rst move?
As in chess then?
And
You see, even mounting a scaff old
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Men ask we go fi rst . . .
—
And quickly.
Th
en please, don’t look!—One glance
,—
(Any moment mine will come thick and fast!
And then how will I drive them back
Into my eyes?!)—
I tell you, you mustn’t
Look!!!
Clearly and abruptly,
Looking up:
—
Darling, let’s go,
Or I’m going to cry!
I forgot! Among all the breathing
Money-boxes (and commodities!)
Th
e blonde back of
her
head fl ashed:
Wheat, corn, rye!
All the commandments of Sinai
Washed away—Maenads’ pelts!—
In a pile to rival Golkonda,
Th
at storehouse of pleasure—
(For everyone!) Nature doesn’t amass
Riches in vain, is not completely niggard!
From these blonde tropics, my
Hunter,—how will you fi nd your way
Back? With her rude nakedness,
Teasing and dazzling to tears—
Adultery, like solid gold,
Pours out. Laughing.
—
Isn’t it true?
—A clinging, pushy
Look. In every eyelash—an urge.
M a r i na T s v eta e va
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—And above all—at her core!
—A gesture that twists into a braid.
O, gesture that is already tearing off —
Its clothing! Easier than eating or drinking—
A smile! (For you, there’s some hope,
Alas, of salvation!)
From—that nurse or your fraternal order?
From an ally: from our alliance!
—Buried as I am—to be able to laugh!
(And unburied—I laugh.)
7
Th
en—the embankment. A last.
Th
at’s all. Apart, not holding hands,
Like neighbors avoiding each other,
We wander on. Away from the riverside—
Weeping. Salty, falling
Quicksilver I lick away, not caring:
Whether Heaven sent Great Solomon’s
Moon to meet my tears.
A pole. Why not bang my forehead against it
Until it bleeds? Until it shatters, not just until it bleeds!
Like two criminal accomplices, fearful,
We wander on. (What was murdered—is Love.)
Wait! Are these really two lovers? Walking
Into the night? Separately? To sleep with others?
—
You understand, the future
Lies there?
—I lift my head up and back.
—
To sleep!—Like newlyweds, on a fl oor . . .
—To sleep!—When we can’t even manage to fall
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In step. In time
. Plaintively:—
Take my arm!
We’re not criminals, that we have to walk like this! . . .
Electric. (As if it were his
soul
—has
Come to lie on my hand.) A current
Strikes through feverish leads and
Excites,—his hand comes to lie on my soul!
And clings. Everything is iridescent! What could be
More iridescent than tears? Like curtains, a rain
Of many beads.—
I don’t know of any banks like this
Th
at really come to an end.—Th
ere’s a bridge, and:
—What then?
Here?
(A hearse draws up.)
Calm eyes
Fly up.—
May I take you home?
A la—st time!
8
A la—st bridge.
(I won’t let go, won’t pull away!)
A last bridge.
A last toll.
Wa—ter and dry land.
I lay out my coins.
Mo—ney for death,
Charon’s token to cross Lethe.
A sha—dow of a coin
Into the hands of a shade. Th
is money
Is sou—ndless.
So, into the hands of a shade—
A sha—dow of a coin.
Without glint, without tinkle.
M a r i na T s v eta e va
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My coins go—into his.
Th
e dead have their poppies.
A bridge.
Ha—ppy destination
Of lovers without hope:
Bridge—you are passion:
A convention: an unbroken between.
I nestle: it’s warm,
I’m your rib—so I cling.
Neither
ahead of
, nor
behind
you:
At some interval of insight!
Without hands, or feet.
With all my bones and forces:
Only my side is alive, O
Which I press to you, next to me.
Th
e whole of my life—in that side!
Which is my ear—and my echo.
As the yolk to the white
I cling, like a Samoyed to his fur,
I press myself, I cling,
I nestle. Siamese twins,
What are you—to our conjunction?
Th
e woman—you remember: the one you called
Mama? Forgetting everything and even
Herself, in the motionless triumph
Of ca—rrying you,
She held you no closer than I do.
See! We li—ke this!
It’s true! On your chest you cradled me!
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I won’t jump do—wn!
To dive—I would have to let go of—
Your hand. I press close,
Press closer . . . And I can’t be torn away,
Bridge, you are a bad husband:
A lover—slipping away!
Bridge, you have taken our side!
We feed your river with bodies!
I have fa—stened on you like ivy,
Like a tick: so tear me out by my roots!
Like ivy! Like a tick!
Godless! Inhuman!
To ca—st me aside, like a thing,
Me, who never cared for
A single thing in this
Infl ated, material world!
Tell me it’s unreal!
Th
at night follows night—some
Morning, an Ex—press to Rome!
Grenada? Even I don’t know,
Th
rowing back the featherbeds
Of Mont Blancs and Himalayas.
Th
e de—ep valley of the bed:
I warm it with the last of my blood.
Lis—ten to my side!
Aft er all, it’s much fi ner
Th
an po—etry . . . It’s good and warm
Still? Who will you sleep with tomorrow?
Te—ll me it’s my imagination!
Th
at there’s not, never will be any end
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To this bri—dge . . .
—As
it
ends.
—
Here?
—With a child’s, or a god’s
Gesture.—
We—ll?
I cling.
—Ju—st once more:
A last time!
9
Walking the factory blocks, loud
And resonant to our call . . .
A concealed, sublingual
Secret of wives from husbands, of widows
From their friends—to you, I impart the whole secret
Eve took from the tree—here:
I am no more than an animal,
Wounded in the belly by someone.
I burn . . . as if it were my soul peeled away with my
Skin! Steam disappeared down a hole,
Th
at notorious and foolish heresy,
We call the soul.
Pallid green Christian sickness!
Steam! You don’t treat a soul with poultices!
When it never existed!
Th
ere was only a body, who wanted to live,
Th
at now does not want to live.
Forgive me! I didn’t mean it!
Just a wail out of my gut!
As the condemned await execution
Aft er three in the morning
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Over their chessboard . . . Grinning
To mock their warder’s eye.