Point of No Return (3 page)

“Okay.”

Before I could say anything more, Blane had me pressed against the wall, his body hard against mine, his mouth pressing my lips apart. I sucked in a breath, my pulse kicking into high gear as Blane proceeded to remind me of just how well he did this sort of thing.

It was several minutes before we came up for air and I found my fingers pressing hard into Blane’s shoulders.

“Sooner or later, you’ll choose,” he whispered. “You’ll want one of us more than you don’t want to hurt the other. And you’ll choose. I want to be the one you can’t live without.”

I stared up into his eyes, a brilliant green boring into mine. Then he was out the door and gone, leaving me trying to figure out what the hell had just happened.

Work was slow, which made it hard to stay awake. Even my nap today hadn’t been enough to curb how tired I was. I ate a little, not really having a choice when Jeff set a plate down in front of me and glared until I took a bite. Nothing seemed to taste good. I chalked it up to too much stress.

“What’s up with you?” Tish asked, leaning against the bar and watching me dry glasses.

“Just tired. Stressed,” I replied.

“Boyfriend trouble?” She grinned. “Please tell me you took tall, dark, and dangerous for a spin.”

I gave a small laugh even as my face heated. Her description of Kade was apt.

“Good for you,” she said, easily reading my embarrassment.

I shook my head. “No. Everything’s just
. . .
completely complicated now.”

“Sex has a way of doing that,” she commiserated. “You seeing him tonight?”

I hadn’t told her that Kade had been shot, so I explained what had happened. When I finished, her eyes were wide.

“He took a bullet for Blane?” she asked. I nodded. “And now Blane wants you to choose, him or Kade?” I nodded again.

She rolled her eyes, unsuccessfully trying to hide a grin. “Girl, to have such problems. I’m finding it real hard to be sympathetic.”

I smacked her lightly on the arm even as I laughed. “This is serious,” I said. “I have no idea what to do. I told Blane I wasn’t going to choose, that we could, you know, all be friends.” It still sounded ridiculous and Tish must’ve agreed, because she gave a snort of derision.

“What’d he say?” she asked.

“He kissed me.”

She whistled. “Gotta like his style, girl.”

“You are absolutely no help whatsoever,” I complained.

Tish spotted new customers walking in and pushed away from the bar. “I know,” she said, “but if you need pointers on a threesome, you just let me know.” She winked.

“Tish!” I exclaimed, but she was already sashaying toward the new table.

I rolled my eyes, sliding the now clean and dry martini glasses into the freezer before turning away to fill another order.

I was the last one to leave after we’d closed, though Jeff had hung around until it was time to go. Since I’d been attacked by James Gage, the district attorney for Indy, a couple of weeks ago, Romeo had insisted that there always had to be at least two people to finish up after closing.

Once I was in my car, I sat for a moment, thinking. I was exhausted, but I wanted to see Kade. I didn’t know how many times it would take of seeing him awake and talking before the worry eased in the back of my mind, I just knew I wasn’t there yet.

Twenty minutes later, I was parking in the hospital lot and heading inside. Visiting hours were long since over, but I managed not to run into any staff on my way to Kade’s room. The hallways were dim and I stepped as lightly as I could. When I reached Kade’s door, I paused and peeked through the window.

It was dark inside and I knew he was probably sleeping. I’d just pop in for a minute, then leave.

Carefully easing open the door, I slipped into the room. The door drifted closed behind me and I waited, letting my eyes adjust to the darkness. After a moment, I stepped farther inside, listening intently.

I could hear machines, their quiet whirring as they monitored Kade’s vitals and dripped fluid into his arm. My eyes had adjusted and now I could see the outline of his form on the bed. Without even noticing I’d moved, I realized I stood beside him. I watched carefully as his chest rose and fell with even, deep breaths.

My whole body relaxed. My fingers itched to touch him, but I curled my hands into fists so I wouldn’t. What if he hadn’t made it? What would I have done then? I couldn’t think about it. I’d drive myself crazy.

I had to touch some part of him, so I settled for resting my palm near where his hand lay on top of the covers. If I tried hard enough, it seemed I could feel the heat from his body through my skin.

“About fucking time.”

I started violently at the sound of his voice, jerking my hand away. “I
. . .
I didn’t realize you were awake,” I managed to stammer. My face flushed and I was glad the room was dark.

“So I gathered.”

The dry note in his voice made my lips hover in a smile, but I was inexplicably nervous and embarrassed that Kade had caught me unawares.

“I, um, didn’t mean to disturb you,” I said weakly. “I was just on my way home from work.”

“You live in the opposite direction.”

I pressed my lips together and didn’t speak. I didn’t have to. We both knew why I was there.

Kade reached for me, his hand catching hold of my elbow and tugging. I obeyed the silent demand, slipping off my shoes before climbing into bed beside him. His arm wrapped around my shoulders as I nestled into his side.

“How are you feeling?” I asked.

“Confined.”

I smiled. Yes, Kade would feel that way.

“Are you being nice to the nurses?” I asked.

“One of them tried to give me a sponge bath,” he replied.

I could imagine the fight it had been to determine who got the honor of giving Kade a sponge bath. “Was she pretty?” I asked, hearing the bitchy in my voice too late.

I felt more than heard Kade’s huff of laughter. “Is that jealousy I hear?” he teased.

I didn’t answer, instead burying my burning face into his side, which just made him laugh again.

“Would you still be pissed if I said she was ugly?”

“Who said I was pissed?” I protested.

“I love your jealous, bitchy side,” Kade whispered in my ear. The touch of his breath against my skin made me shiver. His hand drifted down to my waist, his fingers tugging my shirt free until he could touch my skin. “Blane said we’re all supposed to be friends now, that supposedly you’re not going to pick a side.” I could hear the amusement in his voice.

I stiffened, wondering what exactly from our conversation Blane had repeated to Kade.

“Need I remind you of what a bad idea the friend zone is for us?” he continued. His fingers trailed a feather-light path along my side and up my rib cage.

I swallowed. “It’s the only solution. I’m not going to pick one of you over the other.”

“So what are we then?” His fingers traced the outline of my ribs while my pulse beat a rapid staccato in my chest. My breath was much too fast and too shallow. “Friends with benefits?”

“I don’t want to lose you,” I whispered, tears stinging my eyes.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

We fell asleep like that, the warmth of his palm pressed against my side, his thumb lightly brushing the tender skin under my breast.

When I woke up, the sun had just peeked over the horizon. Kade was still sound asleep, no doubt the timed pain medication had taken hold at some point, sending him into a deep slumber. Reaching up, I brushed a lock of inky-black hair from his forehead before easing out of the bed.

I put on my shoes and used the bathroom, splashing some cold water on my face to wake up. While I’d been relieved to be with Kade last night, I hadn’t slept well. Each move or noise he made had caused me to come awake, my subconscious still steeped in anxiety about him.

To my chagrin, I ran into Blane in the hallway. He looked surprised to see me.

“Did you come by this morning or last night?” he asked.

I wondered what the correct answer would be, as his tone had definitely changed when he’d said “last night.” I decided to be honest.

“I came by after work,” I said.

Blane gave a brief nod, then took a sip of the coffee he held. “That was kind of you to keep him company.”

There hadn’t been anything “kind” for the reasons I’d had. I’d needed to see him, especially after what I’d said to him when he’d woken up. Since the daytime would mean running into Mona, Gerard, and Blane, the nighttime was preferable.

“I, um, I gotta go,” I said, the awkwardness getting to me.

“Sure,” Blane said easily. “I’m sure you’re exhausted.”

Okay, I was positive I heard a slight note of bitterness in that last part, but he was already past me and stepping into Kade’s room.

I headed home, where I showered and did my laundry. I had to go to work earlier than usual because I was filling in for Scott this week. He was out of town and had asked if I’d cover his shifts. Since he’d done the same for me on more than one occasion, I didn’t mind saying yes, but that meant I’d be spending the bulk of my days and evenings at The Drop for the next several days.

I went by the hospital again that night after work, crawling into bed with Kade without being asked. The pain medication was easing up so he was awake, and we talked.

We didn’t talk about Blane, or the future, or being friends. We talked about ourselves and our past, me more so than Kade, though he did tell me a couple of things from his childhood, like how he’d gotten the scars on his back and the one on his chest. Tears had dripped from my face onto his chest as he talked, his voice quiet in the darkened room. My imagination painted too vivid a picture of a child version of Kade, and the pain he’d endured made my heart hurt.

He told me about the first time he’d killed a man, and why. I told him the story of the night my dad died. He told me of the morning his mother didn’t wake up. I spoke of how hard it had been to sell my parents’ house and move away from home. He finally told me the story of the dragon tattoo on his arm, and I confessed how I’d almost gotten my navel pierced on a friend’s dare my senior year of high school, but had chickened out. Kade had chuckled at that.

Eventually, we fell silent, the rise and fall of his chest under my cheek lulling me to sleep in the wee hours of the morning.

The aroma of fresh coffee greeted me when next I opened my eyes. I sat up from where I’d been slumped, wincing as my neck and back gave sharp protests. I automatically glanced next to me, but Kade was gone.

“They took him for another X-ray.”

I jerked around to see Blane leaning against the wall, sipping a cup of coffee. He looked put together, his hair perfect, his jaw freshly shaven, clothes clean and unrumpled. I self-consciously combed my fingers through my hair, knowing I had to look a mess.

“Here,” Blane said, handing me another cup.

“Thanks,” I said. I took a small sip of the steaming brew, grateful Blane must have stopped at a coffee shop on the way rather than getting the hospital’s version. I didn’t think too hard about how he’d obviously known I’d be at the hospital.

I disappeared into the bathroom, trying to make myself look like I hadn’t spent the night scrunched next to Kade in a hospital bed. I didn’t think I was successful. Without makeup, I looked paler than usual and the circles under my eyes added ten years to my age. My stomach was complaining, too, though I didn’t really feel like eating.

When I came back out, Blane was still there and Kade still wasn’t.

“I, ah, guess I’ll head home,” I said, feeling incredibly awkward. Blane and I hadn’t really talked since he’d kissed me in my kitchen, and I was unsure how to behave around him. I couldn’t read if he was angry with me, had changed his mind about us being friends, or was just taking all this weirdness in stride.

Blane nodded. “I’ll let him know.”

I turned and left without another word.

The days seem to speed by, each one mostly like the one before, until they blended together in my exhausted brain. I spent what time I could at the hospital, going by after I got off work. And I had to work almost every night, covering my shifts as well as Scott’s. I’d crawl into bed with Kade and we’d talk for a while. I’d tell him about my day while he played with my hair. In the morning, I’d leave, trying to be gone before Blane got there without being obvious about it. I didn’t want to run into him again, couldn’t handle his seeming indifference and the awkwardness between us.