Portraits (56 page)

“Mama, the set arrived. We’re thrilled with it.”

“Well, enjoy it. Papa and I are happy to do things to make your life a little easier.” She, and papa especially, had exercised monumental restraint in not letting her or Henry know how foolish they thought he’d been to settle the insurance claim so fast. Well, everybody knew doctors were lousy businessmen…and that parents had to protect and do for their children regardless of the mistakes they made…“Yes, Sara, we love it. Thank you.” …

After dinner Henry settled down to the evening paper, but Doris was restless. She hadn’t left the apartment for several days. Not that anything held her back, but she needed someone to share an hour or so with. Rachel was away and she had no friends, so the days were very long.

“Henry, could we go to the movies?”

“When?”

“Tonight.”

“It’s already eight o’clock, honey.”

“So?”

“It’s such a miserable night out. Let’s go right after dinner tomorrow so we can be home early. Is that okay?”

Henry was so damned sweet, how could it not be okay…

She went to bed early that night and fell asleep in minutes. She could only guess what time Henry climbed into bed, but it must have been around ten. It was becoming the nightly routine.

On a cold December morning Doris went down to the mailbox and found two envelopes, hurried back to the apartment and sat on the couch to open them. One was an announcement—Nadine and Sandy Sanders wish to announce the birth of their son Mark, nine pounds. A son! That was going to fry papa’s bananas; everyone seemed to have sons except him. If only she had been a son, what a difference that might have made…

The other envelope contained an invitation to Larry’s birthday on January fourteenth. Imagine, he was already two. Should she call Rachel? She had begun to feel a little awkward with Rachel. Was it that ol’ debbil inferiority complex? Probably. She was never invited to Rachel’s house socially, but that was understandable. Rachel’s life was so totally different. Still, Rachel was her sister.

She picked up the phone and dialed.

“Ross residence.”

For a moment she wanted to hang up. “May I speak to Mrs. Ross? This is her sister Doris.”

Rachel was quickly on the phone. “Hi, Doris. How are you?”

“Getting a little too big for my belly. I got your adorable invitation to Larry’s birthday.”

“You’re coming, I hope?”

“Sure, you picked the right month. Did you ask the folks?”

“Yes. I take it you haven’t spoken to mama.”

“Since when?”

“Since yesterday. Believe it or not, she was
most happy
to do me the honor of coming. Will wonders never cease?”

“Well, anyway…just wanted to thank you. Hope I see you when you get back from your holiday.”

“Of course. Incidentally, since I won’t see you at Chanukah, I’ve sent something. Hope you like it.”

“It’s not a tent, is it? That’s what I’m wearing these days.”

Rachel laughed. “No, it’s a layette for the baby.”

“Oh, Rachel. Thank you, darling.”

“You’re welcome. Just have a healthy, happy baby. Hey, wait a minute. Why don’t you come to dinner tomorrow night?”

Doris hesitated, then thought, why not. “All right…we’d love to.”

When Doris hung up she sat and stared around the room a moment, then once again picked up the announcement from Nadine. She’d have to send them a gift too. Everyone’s life seemed to be turning out pretty well. Sandy and Nadine had bought a lovely bungalow in the Sunset district and had furnished it beautifully. Sandy still drove a truck, but papa was paying him a really good salary now. Well, be glad for them, Doris…don’t be like mama. And be glad for yourself too, damn it…

At five o’clock she was at her usual post at the window, eager to share the day’s news with Henry. At five-thirty she was still at the window when the phone rang.

“Mrs. Levin? This is Mount Zion Hospital calling. Your husband wants to talk to you…”

From the pain in Henry’s voice, she knew he wasn’t seeing a patient. “Henry, what’s wrong?”

“Don’t get upset, but—”

“For God’s sake, please tell me what happened?”

“Well, it’s pretty stupid…I got a crate of oranges for Christmas from a patient and as I lifted it into the trunk rack it fell out of my hands and I landed on my back. I broke four vertebrae. I couldn’t get up. Someone called an ambulance and I was taken to emergency. The doctor’s putting me into a bodycast.”

A bodycast…There had to be a mistake…she was dreaming all this. A nightmare…“I’m coming right over—”

“Please don’t, honey, please…”

What do you mean? My husband is in the hospital and I shouldn’t come? “I’ll take a cab. I’ll be there in a few minutes.” …

She wobbled into the emergency room and saw Henry lying on the hard table. She held his hand in hers and kissed it. “Oh God, darling, why did this have to happen to you—”

“It’s rotten luck, but I’m more worried about you.”

“Don’t, I’m only going to have a baby. There’s one born every three minutes.”

The nurse was standing next to him. “Doctor, has the pain lessened any?”

“Holy cow, how dumb. I didn’t even ask if you were in pain.”

“I was, but it’s better now.”

“Are you sure? Oh, Henry, I just want to die.” She put her head down on his chest.

“It’s not that bad. Honey, I want you to go to my mother’s and stay there. Call and tell them.”

She nodded, then watched as they wheeled him out of the room.

She was in tears when she called her mother to tell her what had happened. Sara was genuinely shocked. “You’ll come and stay with us.”

“Thanks, mama, but I think it’s best to stay at Henry’s mother’s, since I want to be in the city, I mean.”

Sara agreed rather quickly, and that was that.

Irving answered when she called Henry’s mother and repeated the whole story. He said the family would come over immediately. While she waited she called Rachel. “It’s really been a nightmare. Sometimes I don’t think the gods like me too much. Well, anyway, I won’t be seeing you tomorrow.”

“Oh, Doris, I’m so sorry…is there anything I can do?”

“Thanks, you’re an angel, but Henry’s family will be here soon. Besides, you have things to do getting ready for your trip and all…”

“Well, all right, and don’t worry, Doris, I know Henry will be fine.”

“I know he will.” Doris hung up, knowing nothing of the sort. She had no idea how long he’d be in the cast or what the long-term effects would be. She shuddered. Was it possible he’d be an invalid? The thought was too much for her to hold…

The Levins arrived en masse. Fortunately Henry’s mother was not a woman to go into hysterics and run to
shul
to pray for her baby son. In fact, she was very comforting to Doris.

In Yiddish she said, “You’ll see, Doris, Hershel will be all right. God will take care of everything.”

Doris wasn’t so sure God would have the money to pay Henry’s office rent and take the time out to care for his sparse practice, but those fears had to be put aside. Her husband’s future was in God’s hands, and she prayed that Mrs. Levin was right. What else could she do?

Meyer picked up Henry’s car downtown and drove it home. Irving shyly ushered her down the hall and Al consoled her. “It’ll be all right, kid.” Rosalie held her hand and said not to worry. Doris had never been more grateful than at this moment…she felt a security in their numbers…

The next morning she took the streetcar to visit Henry. The bodycast extended from his groin to under his arms. He was still groggy from the anesthesia of the night before, so their conversation often lapsed as he nodded off. Still, she sat in his room all day.

When the doctor came in at five, Doris asked, “How long will he be in the cast, doctor?”

“About six weeks and then I’m afraid he’ll have to remain in bed for a month or so.”

A month or so…This was December tenth, and she was expecting in February. “When can he leave the hospital?”

“Maybe by the end of this week.”

That was something to be grateful for…She sat near the bed, looking at Henry encased like a mummy. “Are you very uncomfortable, darling?”

“I guess you could say that.”

“And the pain?”

“Not too bad…How are you, darling?”

She tried to smile. “Great, Henry…but I’ve been thinking…I think we’d better give up the apartment—”

He winced, not from pain but from the stupidity of the accident and what it would do to their lives.

Doris went on. “We’ll store the furniture and I’ll stay with your mother. She’s a dear, I really love her.”

“She loves you too, honey…”

“Well, I guess Dr. and Mrs. Levin need all the love they can get. Thank goodness we have a little money in the bank. At least we can afford to pay the rent on the office. Irving put a sign on the door saying the office will be closed for two months. I’m getting so efficient, Henry, I surprise myself—” She stopped abruptly when she saw the tears begin in his eyes. “Oh, please, darling, don’t do that. It could always be worse.”

Actually there was nothing she could think of that would be worse.

“Well, I’ll promise you one thing, Doris. If I have to saw this damn cast off, I’m going to be out of it when you have to go to the hospital.”

“Of course you will, but let’s not worry about that now. By February, I just know you’ll be well.”

She knew nothing of the sort.

Henry’s brothers helped pack and get everything ready for the movers.

Sara came over to help out. She smiled sourly when she saw the layette Rachel had sent. Rachel, the good sister, showing off how much more she had than Doris. And what bothered Sara most was Doris’ lack of pride in accepting Rachel’s charity.

But again, she held her tongue, monumental effort that it was.

As Doris looked out of the window and saw the last of the furniture being loaded into the van, she turned quickly away. Going from room to room in the now empty apartment she thought, Well, it was nice while it lasted. They had moved in about this time last month. She waddled to the front door and closed it behind her.

Her mother tried to console her as they waited for the elevator. “You found this place, you’ll get a better one. In fact, to tell you the truth, I never liked it. It’s so gloomy and dark…”

Doris tuned her out…

Three days later Henry was carried up the stairs on a stretcher to his mother’s flat, then put down carefully in the bed by the two ambulance attendants.

Every few days Sara dutifully called to inquire about Henry. The conversation could really have been recorded…

“How’s Henry?”

“Feeling better.”

“And you, Doris?”

“Fine, mama.”

“And how is Henry’s family treating you?”

“Wonderful.”

“Don’t work too hard, Doris. After all, it’s Henry’s family.”

“That’s right, mama. After all, it’s Henry’s family…”

Today the conversation had a slight variation.

“It’s a shame that you can’t be here tomorrow, Doris. Christmas will be so lonely with just papa and me and Lillian.”

“I know it’s sad for you being alone.”

“Well, that’s what happens when your children grow up.”

“That’s why it’s so important to enjoy them while they’re young, mama.”

“I suppose so, my daughter the philosopher, but it’s also painful, let me tell you.”

Sara took Doris’ silence to mean she too was recalling fond childhood memories, while actually she was thinking about the Levins. They celebrated Chanukah instead of Christmas, and they’d always be together in spirit even if they were separated.

“Yes, Doris, it’s painful when your children grow up and find a life of their own. Parents don’t seem to matter so much. I don’t mean you, of course, but look at Rachel—” Well, she could hold her tongue just so long…what was she, a martyr? “We got a case of pineapples from the Royal Hawaiian Hotel with a note…‘Have a lovely holiday.’ It hurts, Doris.”

“I know, but try to have a Merry Christmas, mama. I’ll call and talk to you and papa tomorrow.”

Rachel called when she returned from her holiday. “How are you?”

She hadn’t written to ask while she was away…“Well, under the circumstances I guess it could be better.” Careful…don’t be like mama…

“I know. How’s Henry?”

“Improving. Some of the cast has been cut away and he’s a little more comfortable. At the end of the month it will be removed and he’ll wear a body brace. I keep praying.”

“I do too, Doris.”

“Thank you…”

“And thank you for the darling gift you sent Larry.”

“I wish it could have been more—”

“It wasn’t necessary, Doris, but he adores it.”

Good God,
was
she jealous of Rachel? Yes, to be honest. Life had been good to Rachel, but—Doris, you
are
getting to be like mama. Nobody escapes, everyone has problems…“How was your trip?”

“Lovely.” Rachel was beginning to feel uncomfortable. “Well, Doris, if there’s anything I can do, please don’t you dare hesitate.”

Again the thanks, you’re very kind, I appreciate it…and, unspoken, I wish I could jump off a cliff.

On New Year’s Eve Doris and Henry sat listening to the radio.

“This is Guy Lombardo, coming to you from the Starlite Roof at the top of the Astor Hotel…”

Doris shut her eyes, visualized the sequins and spangles, the black satin, the emeralds, the bubbling champagne…

The announcer was now shouting above the din of voices, “The crowds in Times Square have gone mad and—”

Doris switched off the radio, bent over and kissed Henry. “Happy New Year, dear.”

“Happy New Year, honey. Let’s hope nineteen thirty-four will be better.”

Or at least let’s hope it’s not worse, she thought, and said, “Henry, I love you.”

A
T THE END OF
January Henry’s cast, to Doris’ relief, was removed. He was fitted for a steel brace and could now at least walk about the house. At first he tired quickly but soon he was able to be up for longer periods of time. Doris decided God was getting to like her a little better when she and Henry took their first short walk…

February came, and now her pregnancy was almost to term. She marked the calendar every day, certain that this had to be the longest nine months in history…