Possessed by Desire (9 page)

His eyes narrowed, and an odd foreboding slid down his spine. “And what is that reason?”

She drew in a shaky breath, then let it out. And as she stared at him in the moonlight, he had the strange sense that maybe this was something he didn’t want to know. There were reasons angels and djinn did not interact. Some mysteries of the universe were supposed to remain just that—mysteries. Otherwise, everything a soul counted on could change in an instant.

“You’re not the only one who’s been imprisoned, Ashur. My people have been enslaved for years. Our prison might not have walls and chains, but it’s a prison just the same.”

She drew in another breath, seemed to be thinking through what she needed to say, and though he waited, something in his mind screamed,
run away, now
! But he couldn’t. Not just because he was bound to the opal around her neck, but because a space inside wanted—needed—to hear what she said next.

“I went looking for the bottle,” she continued, “so I could bind a pleasure slave to my will and eventually convince him—you—to take me to your realm. You were right when you said I was after something other than pleasure. I never wanted you. I only want what waits for me in your world.”

He should have expected it, but disappointment felt like deadweight pressing down on his chest. All those months of imprisonment. The endless training sessions. The only thing that had kept him going was the promise that at some point, the female who summoned him would want
him
. Request
him
. Need
him
. And here she was telling him even that wasn’t true.

He couldn’t seem to do anything right. He was also growing slow, because when she moved a half step closer, he realized he’d been so distracted by his thoughts, he’d let down his guard. If she wanted to steal his powers, she could do it now, and he’d barely have time to react.

He tensed, but nothing happened. No magic filled the air; nothing swirled around him. Her face only softened until it was as if…as if she was looking past the djinni he’d become and was searching for the one he’d once been. Or
could
be…

“You were a means to an end for me, Ashur. I never once cared about who you were or what would happen to you when I reached my goal. Until now. Now…everything is different. And I’m going to try to figure out a way to help you. If, that is, you’ll let me.”

CHAPTER SEVEN

Claire waited for Ashur to say something—anything.

She was putting herself out on a limb here, and she wasn’t entirely sure why. Until a few minutes ago, he’d been a hot fantasy and, like she’d told him, a means to an end. But watching him with his brothers, seeing the way he reacted to them and
feeling
the confusion and agony she knew he was experiencing, something inside her had changed.

It didn’t mean she was giving up her quest. And it didn’t mean she wasn’t still going to try to convince him to take her to the djinn realm. But maybe there was a way for her to get what she wanted and to free him as well. Maybe there was a way they could both win.

Wariness, heat and something dark swirled in his eyes as he stared at her in the moonlight. She couldn’t read his expression. His eyes sharpened, then he grasped her at the shoulders and pushed her back against the trunk of a tree. Surprised, Claire gasped and her eyes widened.

“What kind of game are you playing,
noor
?”

Anxiety pressed in, stole her breath. “N-none.”

“Then why would you want to help me? You already said you simply wanted to use me, like everyone else. You’re celestial, even if you are banished. And I’m…smokeless flame. We do not mix for a reason.”

She wasn’t sure that was true anymore.

When he tightened his hands on her upper arms, urging her to answer, she gasped. “I know. But…”

“But what?”

“But…when I summoned you, I had very specific reasons. I just didn’t expect to feel something for you.”

His eyes narrowed. “You feel something for me.”

Her cheeks grew warm. “Yes.”

“Something like…contempt?”

The sarcasm in his voice made one corner of her mouth tick up. “No. Most definitely not contempt.”

“Not contempt,” he muttered, his eyes growing even more suspicious. “Why would you feel anything for me? You barely know me.”

That was true; she didn’t know him. She bit her lip, thought about how to answer without sounding like a lunatic. Realized there was no way to do that, so simply said, “When I was banished, at first I didn’t feel anything about it. It was…just the way it was. And I was fine with it. I knew eventually my punishment would end, and I’d be sent back. But then…then things changed and…”

“And what?”

There was genuine curiosity in his question. And when her eyes met his, it was as if he was seeing her for the first time. He needed to know, just as she needed to feel. His reaction spurred her on. “And I was angry. Really angry. The way you were with Tariq just now. I felt betrayed. I wanted to do something to fix it. But you…”

“I what?”

The quickness of his question, the anticipation in his features as he waited for her to go on… It softened her. Right down to her core. No, maybe she hadn’t been wrong after all…

“You touched me. Not physically—although you did that too—but emotionally. I knew what you were feeling, because I’d been there too. Ashur, your brothers have been frantic to find you. They never wanted you to be with Zoraida. Unlike my situation, you have family that loves and misses you. I wish I had that. I would give anything for that. You have it, and you’re ready to throw it away because you need someone to blame. But sometimes there are no clear answers as to why things happen. Sometimes…they just do.”

He didn’t say anything, only stared at her with those bewildered and intense eyes. And she wondered if she was making a mistake. If he was truly a lost cause or if the djinni he’d once been before Zoraida had gotten a hold of him was still in there.

“I want to help you,” she whispered, not sure where this connection she felt was coming from, but unable to stop it. “Because you shouldn’t have to suffer like me. Because…I think at least one of us should be free.”

“And what do you get out of this?” he asked in a low voice.

What did she get? She wasn’t sure anymore. “Maybe the chance to do the right thing for once.”

Though he still held her against the tree, his grip had softened considerably. She tried to read his expression, tried to figure out what he was thinking, but still wasn’t any good at it. And then his gaze dropped to her lips, and his eyes darkened even more with a heat that arced all through her pelvis and sent a flutter straight to her belly.

He was going to kiss her. Her heart pounded hard, and warmth slid through her veins. She wanted him to kiss her. Wanted to taste those lips again and explore the depths of his mouth like she hadn’t gotten to do before. But not because it might convince him to take her to his realm. No, this time she wanted him to kiss her because
he
wanted to. Because
he
wanted
her
.

Silence stretched like an eternity between them. He didn’t move closer. Didn’t make any attempt to bridge the gap. Only stared at her lips. Licked his own. The movement making every cell in her body yearn for more. For him.

Finally, when she couldn’t take it anymore, she whispered, “Ashur?”

And as if her voice had drawn him back from some mental free fall, his gaze snapped back to hers, and confusion swamped his features.

He let go of her, moved back. Rubbed a hand down his face.

Claire reached for him. “Ashur—”

He deflected her touch, but when he looked at her, there was no more anger in his features. No more animosity, no more contempt. Only…unease. “I need to think.”

“Let me—”

He stepped to the side, out of her reach again. “Just…give me some space. I’m trying to make sense of everything and I can’t do that with you close like this.”

She tried not to be hurt by his dismissal. Couldn’t help it. “Why not?”

He frowned. But it wasn’t an angry frown. It was a sexy frown. One she suddenly wanted to kiss away. “Do you really have to ask? Shit.” He scrubbed a hand through his hair. “I’m not like you. I already feel,
maya
. I may be fucked up, but I’m not a corpse.”

Was he saying…?

He’d called her
maya
again. Princess. What he’d called her before he’d discovered she was celestial. Hope blossomed. Hope for what, she wasn’t entirely sure. An end to their feud? Possibly. But more than that, she hoped to continue what they’d started back on that island, even though a tiny voice in the back of her head warned that would just create more problems she didn’t need.

“Go inside,” he said. “I can’t go anywhere without you, but I’m not ready to face my brothers yet. And I can’t think when you’re looking at me like you want to take a bite out of me. Even pleasure slaves have limits.”

Warmth unfurled inside her. A lightness she felt all the way to her toes. “I do want to take a bite out of you. I have since the first moment you showed up on my beach. I want to bite and suckle you the way you did me.”

A hint of danger sparked in his eyes, followed by an arousal that flushed his cheeks and made her pulse race. “You don’t know what kind of fire you’re playing with. My desires are dark, not honorable. What I did to you in that hut was only a sampling of the wicked things I want to do to you.”

Excitement rushed through her veins, condensed in her pelvis, and left her hot and aching. Even three feet away, with the cool forest air around them, she felt his need. Hard. Hot. So very explosive. But this time, she wasn’t scared. If anything, seeing how close he was to the edge of control only heightened her desire and made her want him more. “So do it. Tie me down. Do whatever you want. I want to feel it all. I want to feel you. I trust you, Ashur.”

Tension crackled. Heat and need sizzled in his eyes, and his muscles bunched, as if he might just lunge for her. But he didn’t move. He was holding back, and she didn’t know how to make him take that last step toward her. But this time—for reasons even she didn’t understand—she didn’t want to force him. She needed him to come to her, willingly.

“Go,” he rasped in the silence. “Go before you can’t. Go now.”

* * *

I want to feel it all. I want to feel you. I trust you, Ashur
.

Ashur couldn’t get Claire’s words out of his head where he sat on the damp ground looking out at the water. And not just her words. The heat in her eyes when she’d said them. The way her body had been humming with need as she’d looked at him. And every time he thought of the way she’d looked then, he remembered her tied down to that bed in her hut, moaning and writhing against him as he’d tortured her. As he’d pleasured her.

Sweat broke out on his forehead, and he shifted, trying to ease the tightness in his groin. He could have taken her right here in this forest, against the tree at his back if he’d wanted. She wouldn’t have protested. And this time, she would have enjoyed. They both would have. But would that solve any of his problems? He still wasn’t sure what kind of game Claire was playing. Yes, she wanted him…but to what end?

Something soft landed against his arms. Ashur startled and looked down at the coat lying over his updrawn knees, then toward the face peering down at him.

“It’s cold out here,” Nasir said, shrugging in his own coat as he tucked his hands into the pockets of his jeans, “and you’re half naked. If you’re going to sit out here and brood, at least don’t freeze your ass off doing it.”

Ashur should have known his brother wouldn’t leave him alone for long, and the little jolt of happiness at seeing Nasir earlier came screaming back. The one he’d tamped down because he couldn’t enjoy it. Every time he’d found something good in Zoraida’s prison, it had been taken away again, as if she’d been waiting for a new way to torture him. “I don’t brood.”

“Yeah, you do.” Nasir leaned a shoulder against the trunk of a nearby tree while Ashur slipped his arms into the sleeves of the coat. “Father always called it pondering. ‘Ashur’s pondering. Leave him alone.’ But Tariq and I knew the truth. You were brooding, trying to figure out a way to get around whatever punishment Father had given you for following us and getting into trouble.”

Ashur couldn’t argue with that. He rested his elbows on his knees and looked out at the sparkling water. He’d spent most of his life chasing after his brothers, trying to be included. Now he wished he’d left well-enough alone. “He send you out here to check on me?”

“Nope. Tariq knows you’re pissed and that you have every right to be mad.”

Ashur clenched his jaw. Damn right he had a reason to be mad. Except…every time he thought about the way Tariq had abandoned him, he remembered Claire’s voice saying, “
Sometimes there are no clear answers as to why things happen. Sometimes…they just do
.”

He didn’t want her to be right on this one, and he’d never been one to believe in fate and destiny. The world was what you made it. How many times had his father said that to him?

He watched a log bobbing in the water as it drifted by. Did he even have a choice anymore? He was Zoraida’s slave now. Slaves didn’t have choices. They served.

“
I want to help you
…”

“About Kavin,” Nasir said, his voice cutting through Ashur’s confused thoughts. But Ashur was suddenly glad for it, because it gave him something to focus on other than the rapid pounding of his heart. “Yes, she’s Ghul. But not all Ghuls are bad as we’ve been taught to believe.”

For the first time, Ashur took a good look at his brother. Nasir’s hair was longer than it had been the last time they’d been together and was tied at his nape. The body Ashur remembered being bloodied and bruised from Zoraida’s guards was now strong and muscular—more sculpted than it had ever been. But the biggest shock—the one that made Ashur take a closer look, was the fact the pain Nasir had carried with him since the day his betrothed had been killed was gone. In its place was resolve, strength, and an inner calm that seemed to come out of nowhere.