Price of Desire (27 page)

Rose shook herself
.
She didn’t quite understand why that was necessary for his task, but undoubtedly he was like her and simply wanted to have all the facts before laying out a plan.

She smiled at him in understanding
.
I
t
would be unfair to let her own mood affect his ability to complete his work.

“He kept them in a folio in his chamber
.
I haven’t had them returned since.”

“I understand, my lady
.
I’d be sure to treat them with the best care.”

“I’ll have them fetched.
”
She waved farewell and continued on her way, her mind already planning what she would say to Wulf
.
This time she was the hound and he the fox
.
She was going to track down M
ajor
Huntington, and let him know just what she thought of his machinations. She would lay down a precise timeline for how long it should take him to pack up the books
.
Oh yes, she would.

Where had she gotten to now
?
Wulf surveyed the archery field making note of Rose’s absence and Lady Clarington’s greedy eye
.
He’d maneuvered Rose every which way for the past week, seeking to get her alone
.
But since the chess game
–
an opportunity he’d wasted
–
it had been to no avail
.
Lady Rose Burberry, he drawled her name out in his mind, had a knack of avoiding him
.
She’d draw him to her like a moth to flame with her fluttering dress
es
and sweet perfume, but then she’d become the moth and flit away from him.

Oh, it was easy enough to track her in public, she was a consummate hostess, but she vanished like the mist, whenever he sought her solitary company
.
He’d even tried tapping on her door the last nights, but with no answer
.
It was tempting to pound until he drew some response, but her previous words had enlightened him to the effect any scandal would have on Anna.

His Anna
.
She was the one light in any of this
.
For the past week he
had
snuck up to see her each morning before the household had awakened, and they
had
made plans for later meetings each day
.
The one advantage of having a daughter determined to sneak from the nursery was that she knew endless hiding and meeting places
.
He
had
had to overrule her on some of them, his large frame was not going to fit beneath her mother’s bed, no matter how tempting the thought, his body burned with frustration, but as a whole they
had
created a secret world between them.

He loved her more each day, the delight of her first morning smile, the brave tremor of her lips when she scraped her knee, the way she curled, boneless into his arms when he told he stories of his own childhood
.
He could never let her go
.
She was his and he meant to keep her.

With that thought in mind, he handed off the bow and strode to the edge of the field
.
He
had
promised Anna he
would
meet her before tea, after which she
would be
swept back to the nursery for baths and dinner
.
If he didn’t hurry now to their promised meeting spot he
would be
late.

He spotted Lady Clarington starting to pick her way across the grass and turned and aimed for the stables
.
He
had
discovered the lady in question lost speed rapidly if the hems of her skirts were endangered.

He rounded the edge of the cobbled yard and stepped sideways back towards the main house
.
His daughter had showed him a lower terrace well hidden from the windows above, perfectly suited for kicking a ball
.

She was seated on the step now, her small legs kicking back and forth eagerly
.
He really should tell Rose how lax the nanny was
.
Surely it couldn’t be safe for such a small moppet to be traipsing around on her own
.
The lake
.
The archers
.
The horses
.
His mind positively spun with possibilities.

But, how would he explain his knowledge
?
No, he
would
have to wait until after they were married
.
Then he
would
make sure he always knew where she was, where both of them were
.
A grin spread across his face at the thought
.
Yes, once he married Rose he
would
put everything to rights.

He sped down the steps anxious to see his daughter smile.

How could he dog her every step for days, and then vanish when she was ready to speak to him
?
She continued her earlier string of curses
.
Marry him, indeed
.
She was sure he didn’t feel the need to wed every woman he bedded
.

It was only Anna that drew him, and much as she understood his desire to know his daughter
–
who wouldn’t want to know and love Anna
–
it was not a relationship Rose could afford
.
She had her own life to think of.

It was the giggle she noticed first
.
She couldn’t remember when Anna had sounded so happy
.
While always good tempered
,
she
had
been showing a tendency to develop into a somber if stubborn child
.
Nanny must have found some knew game or toy to delight her
.
Perhaps they
had
stolen the kittens from the stables.

She rounded the corner of the house heading for Anna’s secret terrace
.
From the time she
had
first discovered it
,
her daughter
had
been drawn to the hidden nook, treating it as her private abode.

The deep, more pronounced laughter stopped her in her tracks
.
No
.
He couldn’t be there
.
He hadn’t even spoken to Anna, much less played with her
.
She would not believe he had genuine interest in Anna.

“Do it again
.
I want to gallop.
”
Her daughter’s cry startled her from thoughts and she crept forward to peek around the house and down the stairs.

Wulf sat on the thick stone rail extending around the terrace, his long legs bent in front of him
.
Anna sat splayed across his knees demonstrating her best equestrian seat
.
She screamed with glee as he bounced her roughly up and down
, her
face grinning out her heart’s delight
.
Suddenly, he opened his legs, catching Anna as she fell between them
.
The squeal grew louder as Wulf pulled her up and caught her to his chest
.
He lay back along the wall, her daughter reclining in complete limpness upon his breast
.

Rose’s own knees went limp and she slid down the side of the house, to crouch leaning against the wall
.
She could not control her own shaking
.
This was exactly the picture she always imagined when she dreamed of finding a father for her daughter
.
She might pretend practicality, but it was this she had dreamed, her daughter firm against a man’s broad chest, an invisible bond tying them together.

She should be happy, before her was the proof that she was right to seek a father for Anna, that her daughter needed the love of a man
.
But, this particular love could never be
.
Wulf was everything she must avoid in a husband
.
He would never let her be her own woman
.
His every inch exclaimed his desire to be in control, his every confidence in his own abilities
.
He would never trust her abilities above his own.

Besides, despite his demand of marriage, he would never forgive her for the past
.
He might burn at her touch as she melted at his, but that was not the basis for marriage.

Marrying him would be placing herself in endless purgatory, something she would not do even for Anna
.
He was the one man she could not marry
.
Passion and parenthood were not enough.

She took one last look at the perfection of the vision below, and rising to her feet turned and made her way back to the house
.
Her confrontation with Wulf would have to wait
.
She ignored the tears she knew were seeping down her cheeks.

She had guests to see to
.
It was not the time to forge a new path, but tonight when all was quiet she would plot her way around this new obstacle.

Wulf stood at his bedroom window, watching
.
Rose stood below him in the moonlight
.
He could not see her face, but the pale glimmer of her hair was unmistakable
.
Her shoulders were hunched forward in abject misery.

Only what did she have to be miserable about
?
She had a houseful of men yapping like hounds at her heels, surely by the coming ball she’d have a handful of proposals
.
She had money and position and everything else a lady could dream of
.
And, she had Anna.

No, she had no reason for unhappiness
.
Then why did it look like she longed to cry her eyes out
?
He
had
seen that posture before when young soldiers confronted the death of a friend and when he
had
been forced to pass along the news of a loved one
'
s departing himself
.
There was no mistaking the curling stiffness that only unbearable pain could cause.

It made no sense
.
She hadn’t shown pain at Burberry’s memorial, but then why should she
?
He
had
plenty of reason to know she was far from a loving and faithful wife.

So why should she cry now
?
Her shoulders had begun to shake with such force he thought soon she’d be on her knees.

She should be laughing with victory
.

God damn
.
She’d brou
ght him to his knees
–
he
had
uttered the words he
never thought to say, or at least implied them
.
And she
had
refused them without thought, denying his great need, and done her best to avoid him ever since.

She should be exclaiming his defeat, letting the world know she’d brought another proud man low
.
That was how ladies behaved
.
Instead she stood alone, and cried out to the cold, dark garden.

He grabbed a cover off the bed and slipped from the door
.
He’d solve this mystery.

“Do you miss Burberry?”

The soft words echoed through the silence.

She should have felt his presence, had the time to wipe her face clean and prepare herself for confrontation
.
But, the question did not sound like battle.

“Yes, more than you can imagine.”

She answered quietly, keeping herself turned from Wulf
.
He must suspect her tears, but she would not let him see
her ravaged
soul.

“I wouldn’t have expected that.”

“Nobody does
.
They all thought I married him for convenience and wealth.”

“And didn’t you?”

He still spoke gently, but she did not miss the underlying bitterness of the question.