Price of Desire (25 page)

“Why?”

“I have dreams, dreams I cannot explain to you and would not even if I could
.
You have not earned that right.”

“I may not have the right, but what of Anna
?
Would you deny her a father’s love?”

“That is not my intention.”

The silence between them was tangible, where before there had always been a silken flash of desire and tension, now there was only pain
.

“I won’t leave her
.
You will not give her to another man.”

“You’ve barely met
.
You can marry somebody else, have another child.”

Then he turned to her, his eyes glowing in the darkness.

“Could you just leave her, pretend she never existed
?
Why don’t I just take her and you can marry your ‘suitable’ husband and have another child?”

The words sliced across her skin, her head bowed
.
It was the same argument, always the same argument
.

“I carried her
.
I gave birth to her
.
I fed her from my breast
.
I spend every moment I can with her
.
She is flesh of my flesh
.
It is different.”

“And is
she not flesh of my flesh, also?
”

“Damn you
.
You have only just met her.”

“Can’t you just say it once
?
She is my daughter.”

“No.”

“Yes
.
Just once, just this once, admit it
.
You’ve already showed me I can never acknowledge her publicly, but now in private I need to hear you say the words
.
Can’t you give me that much?”

A shiver wracked through her
.
She was glad he still turned away and could not see the pain and desperation that was written across her face
.
She owed him
.
She owed him Anna, but she could not say the words, could not take the risk
.
She clenched her eyes tight
.

She could not be weak.

“Please.”

She had never thought to hear him beg
.
He was so proud, so fierce, but now he opened himself for the sake of a child he’d not actually met, only seen.

A lone tear sneaked beneath her lashes, but she brushed it back
.
She could only imagine the pain he felt, but there was nothing she could do.

She must be strong.

S
he would not give up her daughter for anything.

She felt the irony of her words
.
That was exactly what she demanded of him
.
She slipped to the stair and headed up
.
The only sound was the decisive snap of the door as it shut.

###

He felt her leave
.
Even though her bare feet made not a sound he knew every step she took
.
He willed her to stop, to give him the answer he needed, but she continued
.
The click of the lock echoed through the room.

He felt no fury, only despair.

He had never expected this need
.
He must be strong
.
He survived the loss of one child,
he would not falter now
?
But, this
child
he’d met, this one had cast a net around his heart
.
He hadn’t known it was possible to love instantly and completely, but all it had taken was small hand slipping into his, one delicate warm body cuddled towards him in complete trust and he was lost
.
Anna
.
His Anna
.
He would not lose her now.

He’d been over confident
.
He could see that now
.
He should have realized Rose would not do the expected
.
She was, after all, a lady
.
She would only accept him if she saw it to her own advantage.

She might desire his body, but clearly that was not enough
.
What true interest could she have in the wounded man he had become
?
He was not the young soldier of that long ago day
.
He had seen more death, indeed
,
killed more men than she could imagine
.
She had reason to refuse him.

H
e slammed his fist into the bed
post.

Damn lady.

But, he hadn’t told her of his wealth, his inheritance.

That was why she’d refused him
.

It wasn’t him at all, but what she perceived as his position in society
.
He hated the thought of buying himself a bride, but he’d do what was necessary
.
The thought of leaving his daughter behind had become unthinkable
.
He needed to claim her, even if it meant claiming her mother as well.

Chapter
Nine

Rose tapped her finger against the empty
claret
glass
.
Everything was going according to plan
.
She’d avoided Wulf for two days, only smiling politely from her end of the table to his position near its foot – ahh
,
the advantages of being the hostess
.

Admittedly that had also meant avoiding the other gentlemen as whenever she approached one he tended to appear
.
She’d arrange a private walk for two through the orchard and he’d march down the road towards them, her hounds at his heels
.
She convinced Mr. Giddens to try his hand at rowing and Wulf’s booming voice followed them from the shore as he fished and sang Irish tavern ditties
.
Even her garden was not safe
.
She’d lured Sir Barton out, risking his pinch, and was suddenly surrounded by three gardeners, a hallboy, and two footmen – all searching for Wulf’s lost pen knife
.
The blasted, bloody man had stood in the doorway and smiled as all thought of romance faded
.
Sir Barton had even joined the search.

She contained the urge to stomp.

Tonight would be different
.
Lady Smythe-Burke had arranged the promised time alone with Lord Sommerton – a simple game of chess
–
the chance to find out his true beliefs.

Rose had set the scene carefully: a warm fire glowing against the night chill, candle set close enough to see the board but far enough to soften the mood, a decanter of brandy and two glasses, the door left partway open to avoid scandal, but partway closed to promote intimacy.

Her prey arrived and she gestured him to his seat.

“Ahh, Lady Burberry, I am so glad Lady Smythe-Burke suggested this
.
I am sure your delicate mind needs the exercise
.
I’ll try to be gentle.”

She routed Sommerton promptly. He smiled.

“My lady, you have hidden talents
.
I will have to pay attention to the game and not your loveliness.”

She bested him twice and he smiled – more firmly.

“I was not prepared for such a simple trick
.
I fear my opponents are most often more sophisticated.”

She prepared for the third kill
.
And hesitated
.
She could see the strain in his shoulders, the clench of his fist around the fragile pieces
.
Should she let him win
?
No
.
The test would be in the losing
.
She would not pretend to be other than what she was.

She lifted the pawn, moved a square
.
She eyed her bishop
.
The trap was set
.
She lifted her glance to him
.
How would he respond?

His brow furrowed once
.
And then he smiled
.
It would be fine
.
He truly was a gentleman
.
He leaned to lift the piece
.
He shifted forward and his boot caught the table’s leg, sending the board careening, the pieces scattering.

She stared, aghast.

“So sorry, and just when I was preparing my best gambit
.
A pity it’s so late
.
I know you must be exhausted
.
I’ll join the gentlemen.
”
Sommerton stood as he spoke and was out the room before the last word faded.

“I wondered how he’d manage.
”
Wulf slunk from the shadows in which he’d lounged
.
“I don’t think he was quite prepared to be – mated.”

Rose knelt to pick up the wandering pieces
.
“It was just an accident.”

“Strange how the victor never causes the mishap.”

Rose looked up at him from her position on the floor
.
He echoed her own thoughts, but she did not welcome his opinion
.
She pursed her lips and went back to gathering pieces.

He bent beside her
.
She could feel the warmth of his body, the whisper of his breath, but she did not look around
.
She reached for a piece that had rolled far under the divan
.
His long arm reached by her, his fingers brushing hers
.
He pulled the piece, a queen, from its resting place.

“A game? Would you like to play?
”
His thumb caressed the queen, his tone suggestive.

“What?
”
She glanced over, startled
.
His face was inches from hers
.
Her eyes focused on his firm lips
.
She breathed his breath.

An easy smile spread across his mouth
.
“Chess
.
Are you ready for another game, or are you weary as Sommerton suggested?”

She scurried back
.
“Yes, I’d love another game, but that’s all.
”
She’d show him what she was made of.

He smirked
.
“I hope you’re prepared to be mated
.
I’ve already told you I am.”

She refused to answer.

They set the board silently
.
She stared intently and moved her pawn
.
He followed, move for move, piece for piece
.
Knight traded for bishop
.
Pawn for rook
.
Rook for queen
.
She was down three pieces.

She smiled
.
“Mate.”

He nodded and displayed no displeasure
.
If anything he seemed stimulated by her victory
.
“Again?”

She nodded
.
They set the board.

She pushed her q
ueen’s pawn forward two spaces
.
He placed his king’s knight in front of his
q
ueen’s bishop’s pawn
.
Rose defended the piece with her king’s pawn
.
She lost all track of time until, resisting the urge to bellow, she again said the magic word, “Checkmate.”

“You are very talented, my lady
.
Can I persuade you to grant me one more chance to prove my worth, another chance to
'
mate?”

She met his gaze, and swallowed
.
There was no mistaking the heat in his glance
.
She looked pointedly towards the door
.
Sommerton had left it fully open.