Prima Donna (9 page)

McKinley closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. She’d prayed to God repeatedly to stop the nagging pain that lay in the center of her chest. Now was her chance to end it. This was it, after this, Jamil would get no more chances. If he didn’t get it right this time then she was done for good.

“
I’ll give you another chance, but if you don’t do right by me this time, I’m done,” she said with a sudden fierceness.

“
I swear to
God
, this time it’s gon’ be different,” Jamil assured, smoothing back her hair.

McKinley relished his touch and said a silent prayer to God that this time the desires of her heart would come to fruition.

XoXo

It was the middle of summer and McKinley was on cloud nine. She and Jamil had been getting along tremendously. They hadn’t fought one time. Jamil had been on his best behavior.

He’d become more attentive. He catered to her every whim. Whatever free time he had to spare when he wasn’t working was spent with her. He’d even been assisting with the wedding plans.

Two hundred and fifty of their closest family and friends would attend their nuptials. Their wedding date had been set for September 8. McKinley couldn’t wait to become Mrs. Jamil Thompson. Her first duty as his wife would be to give him the son that he’d always wanted. That day after meeting with their wedding planner and going over table settings and centerpieces, McKinley hopped into her Mercedes G Wagon and headed back home to meet up with Jamil.

They were going to go over the seating chart. It had been hell trying to figure out where to seat everyone. As McKinley pulled up to her building, her cell phone began to ring. It was Jamil. A huge smile spread across her face.

“
Hey, baby,” she said, parking her car.

“
Where you at?” he asked.

“
Just pulling up to the house, why? Where are you?” she asked, turning off the ignition.

“
Please don’t be mad, but I’m runnin’ a lil bit behind.”

“
How behind, Jamil?” McKinley groaned.

“
Like an hour.”

“
Are you kidding me? I just rushed home, thinkin’ I was gon’ meet you here.”

“
My bad. I’ma be there as soon as I can,” he promised.

“
Okay, Jamil, hurry up,” McKinley insisted.

“
I am.”

“
All right, love you,” she uttered.

“
Love you, too.”

Since Jamil would be arriving late, McKinley decided to take matters into her own hands and start doing the seating charts on her own. She had no time to waste. Every second of the day counted. Plus, she had a million other things that needed to be completed as well. She couldn’t put the seating charts off another day.

Once the elevator doors opened, McKinley stormed into her apartment on a mission. Dropping her bags at the door, she quickly began creating the perfect seating chart. Almost two hours later she’d only gotten two of the tables done and was past frustrated. Annoyed that Jamil hadn’t showed up yet, she texted him.

To: Jamil

Where are you?

Sent:

Fri, Aug 12, 4:50 pm

To: McKinley

I’ma b there in a min.

Received:

Mon, Aug 12, 4:52 pm

To: Jamil

What’s a min, Jamil?

Sent:

Mon, Aug 12, 4:54 pm

To: McKinley

Half an hour

Received:

Mon, Aug 12, 5:01 pm

Overwhelmed, McKinley threw down her phone and went over to the refrigerator. Her stomach was growling so loud it sounded like she’d passed gas. Needing something quick and fresh to eat, she fixed herself a ham sandwich with celery sticks and peanut butter on the side. Trying her best not to focus on the time, McKinley sat at the dining room table and ate her food while watching
Dancing with the Stars
. Before she knew it, she’d finished eating, the program had gone off and Jamil still hadn’t shown up. Fed up, she dialed his number.

“
What’s up?” Jamil said in a low tone.

“
I cannot believe you starting this shit again. I’ve been sittin’ here, waitin’ on you all afternoon. Where the fuck are you?” McKinley yelled.

“
Yo, I can’t be talkin’ to you right now.”

“
What you say?” McKinley replied, taken aback.

“
Let me call you back. I’m in the middle of something.”

“
Jamil, I swear to God if you hang up this phone I’m officially done fuckin’ wit’ you,” McKinley warned.

“
Babe, just give me a minute,” he pleaded.

But before McKinley could reply the sound of gun fire caused her heart to leap out of her chest and fall flat onto the floor.

“
Jamil.” She called out for him but got no reply.

“
Jamil,” she screamed, praying to God he’d answer.

“
Jamil!”

Part Two

“
And the anger and the sorrow mixed up leaves the mistrust. Now it gets tough to ever love again.”

Jay Z

“
Allure”

McKinley had worn the same clothes for two days. She sat Indian style, in the center of her king-sized bed, clutching Jamil’s pillow, wishing that he was there. It was the middle of the night, but so what? Sleep had become an insufferable pastime she could do without. A pain so strong resonated from her ribs and through her eyes, causing an abundance of tears to stream down her face. He was gone and with each second that passed by that conclusion became clearer. She wished this time was like the other times they’d fought and he’d left.

She’d cry until her throat was sore, he’d come back, rock her pussy to sleep, then promise that everything would be okay. But two days ago, everything changed. He was brutally gunned down outside of his apartment and she was forced to deal with the fact that this time he was gone for good. She would never feel his lips on hers or have the pleasure of being wrapped in his warm embrace. All of her days from now on would be long, drawn out and insignificant. She’d forever be chasing pavements, instead of obsessing over him.

“
It’s not fair,” she sobbed, hitting his pillow with her fist.

It wasn’t fair that they never got to say good-bye with words. It wasn’t fair that he was killed for reasons unknown. And it most certainly wasn’t fair that she sat alone, gazing at a picture of him, wondering why he couldn’t be a part of her future. Doubled over in pain, McKinley cried tears of sorrow and loneliness. The 5-carat canary-yellow diamond ring, closet full of designer shoes and dresses and Hermes Birkin bags wouldn’t comfort her in her time of need.

McKinley would give it all, her heart, her home, her clothes, anything she owned just to have him back. Reluctantly, she let go of the pillow and placed her face into her hands. An eerie quietness surrounded her. Just as she was about to release a blood- curdling scream to the heavens up above, a thunderous bang came crashing through her front door. Scared out of her mind, she sat frozen stiff. From her bedroom she could hear the sound of heavy footsteps run rampant throughout her apartment.

Suddenly, the door to her bedroom swung open. Five men dressed in black charged inside with flashlights pointing her way. McKinley turned her face and lifted her arm to shield her eyes from the blaring lights.

“
Freeze! Put your hands behind your head and stand against the wall,” the federal agent ordered.

“
What the hell are you all doing in my house?” McKinley demanded to know, ignoring their orders.

“
Ma’am, I’m only going to ask you one more time. Please get off of the bed.”

“
Not until you tell me what the fuck—”

Before McKinley knew it, her bedroom light was on and her petite body was being dragged from the bed and placed up against the wall. McKinley let out a scream for help so loud she swore her neighbors would hear.

“
Shut up!” the man ordered.

“
What the hell is going on?” she demanded to know.

“
We have a warrant to search your place—”

“
Sir, we found a safe,” one of the agents said, pulling a silver safe from out of the floor.

“
And we’re bringing you in for questioning,” the federal agent explained.

“
But I didn’t do anything. What is going on?” she wailed.

McKinley was so incoherent that she didn’t even realize she’d been spun around. Everything was moving so fast she felt high. The federal agents walked past her in slow motion as if she wasn’t even there. McKinley stood back and watched helplessly with tears in her eyes as they ransacked her place. The Matteograssi bed that she and Jamil slept in, made love in, shared dreams in was broken down.

The Ligne Roset side table he used to place his cell phone on at night was turned over as if it wasn’t worth anything. The federal agents searched relentlessly for some kind of evidence she didn’t know existed. The very pillow she held close to her heart a second ago was ripped down the middle, exposing a wealth of white feathers. Some of Jamil’s jewelry and clothes that he kept there were thrown on the floor.

“
The safe is filled with money,” one of the agents informed his captain.

“
What is going on? What are you looking for?”

“
Okay, men, we’ve found what we need. Let’s wrap this up. Agent Franklin, take this young lady down to the car. She’s coming with us.”

XoXo

“
Thanks for coming to get me.” McKinley massaged her wrists, coming out of the federal building.

Kristen wrapped her arm around McKinley’s shoulder. “Are you okay?”

McKinley threw up her arms. “No, look at me.”

Kristen hated to admit it, but McKinley looked horrible. Dried tears stained her caramel face. Her hair was all over her head. The Jill Stuart silk chiffon print maxi dress with a ruffle overlay at the bodice and cascading ruffles at the skirt that she’d worn two days before was a worn and tattered mess. Kristen could even smell a foul stench come from her body.

“
Kristen, I don’t know what I’m going to do,” McKinley explained, getting into the car.

“
I ain’t tryin’ to be funny, but do you mind if we let the window down?” Kristen held her nose.

“
Fuck you, bitch. I know I stink.”

“
Hey, I’m just sayin’. I need to have a clear mind while I drive.” Kristen laughed.

“
All jokes aside,” McKinley said seriously. “Shit is fucked up. They’ve seized all of our accounts. I don’t have a dime to my name.”

“
For real?”

“
You think I’m playin’?”

“
Damn,” Kristen said as she drove back to their apartment.

“
I can’t believe this shit is happening to me.” McKinley stared out the window wearily.

“
Everything’s gonna be all right, McKinley. I got a little stash of money put up. It’s not much, but I’ll help you the best that I can.” Kristen pulled into her personal parking space.

“
No, Kristen. I can’t take money from you.”

“
Girl, please. You’re my best friend. I ain’t gon’ let you go without.”

“
Thank you.” McKinley gave her a slight smile.

After saying hello to the doorman, McKinley and Kristen boarded the elevator in silence. Once at her door, McKinley inhaled deeply and prepared herself for the worst. Gradually, she pushed open the door. Her living room was a wreck. The curtains were pulled. Mirrors were broken. Cushions from the couch were slit open and thrown about. The coffee table was turned over. Papers were sprawled all over the floor. McKinley could only imagine what the rest of the place looked like.