Private Pleasures (2 page)

Nora had gone home with a cold, desperate to get well, as she was to spend New Year's Eve at Jeff's parents' home. His mother had called her mother and invited her. And on New Year's Eve Jeff had put his hand in Nora's underpants for the first time, fingering her clitoris until she almost fainted. When she had whimpered with her pleasure, he had stifled her cries with his kisses. At the fraternity's spring formal he had asked her to marry him, and put a ring on her finger before she might answer, but of course he had known the answer would be yes.
Here, however, Nora's parents had stepped into the romance. Nora was just eighteen. They wanted her to finish her college education, and they did not want her married until she did. When she was twenty-one they'd consider it. Jeff agreed. He had things to do before he entered into matrimony. He just didn't want Nora to get away.
After graduating he had gone on to earn a masters' degree in business at Harvard, and done a brief military service. Then he had joined Coutts and Wickham, a very prestigious advertising firm in the city. Nora had remained at her studies, kept safe from other possible suitors, chaperoned by her fiancé's fraternity brothers to the various university social events when Jeff couldn't join her.
Any young man approaching Nora was warned away in the strongest terms possible. One boy who refused to heed the warning was beaten up by unknown assailants. After that, no males approached Nora Edwards, but she never knew the lengths that Jeff had gone to, to keep her for himself. She had her studies, and everyone was so very nice to her.
Two weeks after her graduation with a degree in English literature, Nora Edwards had married Jeffrey Buckley in a large, tasteful all-white wedding, with six bridesmaids in white linen sheaths with narrow green ribbons at their waists, and wreaths of baby's breath with white rosebuds topping their heads. After a honeymoon in Bermuda, they had moved in with his parents for a year while their own house was being built. The lot on Ansley Court had been a wedding gift from their grandparents.
When the house was finally finished they had moved into it. Nora had spent her days decorating and gardening, making their home a place that Jeff was proud to show off. And she had immediately made friends with her neighbors, and the subsequent neighbors to come. She had gotten pregnant, and had her two children, Jill and J. J., born four years apart. The others had gotten pregnant too, or already had children. Jill and J. J. had grown up with the Seligmann, Ulrich, Johnson, and Pietro d'Angelo kids. Becky Seligmann, and Natalie Ulrich had baby-sat J. J. Carla's daughter, Maureen, would be graduating with J. J. shortly, leaving only the Pietro d'Angelo twins, Max and Brittany, on the court. They would graduate next year. And Ansley Court would be one big empty nest very soon. But no one planned to leave. Their homes were where their children and their grandchildren would come to visit, and there would be plenty of room.
Rina was already back to work for the county. So was Carla at the nearby hospital. Joanne was subbing for the local school district. Even Tiffany had been taking some law associate courses at the community college. She was going to help out in Rick and Joe's law firm. Only Nora seemed firmly stuck in place until now.
"Pretty soon I'll be the only one left here at home." She voiced her thoughts aloud.
"So do something," Rina encouraged. "You've got a degree. Go take a computer course at the adult ed when J. J. goes off to college. I did it last year. I had to. You have to have computer knowledge today to do anything, it seems."
"All I have is a B.A. in English lit," Nora replied. "Where is that going to get me in this day and age? I never took any teaching credits because I was going to marry and stay home after college. I took home ec courses."
"The women's lib movement was going strong, and you didn't prepare yourself for the eventual possibility that you might be on your own one day?" Rina shook her head. "I mean what was going to happen if Jeff kicked the bucket all of a sudden? Or was in a fatal car crash?"
"Or got shot by an outraged husband," Joanne murmured beneath her breath.
Carla shot her a hard look.
"Back then we thought the women's lib movement was just a bunch of lesbians, radicals, and liberals," Nora said. "No nice girl was going to get involved with them. Besides, I'm sure Jeff has made provisions for us in the event of a tragedy, although he would never believe anything could happen to him. He's always been very good that way," Nora loyally defended her husband.
"How is he set up for retirement?" Rina continued to pursue the matter. "Does he have profit sharing, a Keogh, four-oh-one-k, a traditional pension?"
Nora shrugged. "I don't know. We never discussed it."
"Well, you ought to know, hon." Now it was Carla who spoke up. God damnit, she thought, Nora has always been so darned trusting. She isn't stupid. Far from it. She's just too nice. Too polite. And Jeff had taken full advantage of it. He was probably very well-fixed. And, Carla considered grimly, if he intended dumping his current wife for a younger model, he probably had already hidden his assets pretty well. Rick had mentioned such things. Nora was going to need help. "You gotta find out what he's got," she advised her best friend. The other women nodded in agreement.
"How?" Nora said. "I haven't the foggiest idea of how to go about such a thing. Besides, I don't want Jeff to think I don't trust him. He's always been very good to me."
Carla looked for a moment as if she were going to explode, and Rina snorted scornfully, saying quietly, "You've been good to him too, sweetie." She turned. "Carla, do you think Rick could make a few discreet inquiries? I mean, just to give Nora an idea of the situation she's facing in the event of the worst-case scenario."
"I'll ask him," Carla agreed. And Rick would do it, or she'd kill him, Carla thought. Rina was right, although she would never say it aloud in front of Nora. Jeff Buckley was up to something. No one had to tell her he wasn't coming home a whole lot anymore. If anything was going to happen, it would happen soon. With J. J. graduating, and going off to State in August, it was the perfect time for Jeff Buckley to bail on his wife and family. Carla stood up. "I gotta go, girls. I'm working the three-to-eleven shift today. Maureen's doing supper for her dad. which probably means she'll con him into bringing home some KFC." She laughed. "The kid won't eat red meat, but she does love her KFC. Teenagers! Go figure."
"Tell her to have Rick bring me some too," Nora said. "Jeff probably won't be home either, and J. J. is studying with his girlfriend. Or at least they say they're studying," she finished with a wry smile.
"Oh," Tiffany said, "then this would be a perfect night for you to get The Channel, Nora! You really are going to like it."
"Can I get it during the day?" Nora asked.
Tiffany shook her head. "It's only available at night," she replied with a giggle.
"None of you has told me yet exactly what The Channel is," Nora said. "Is it old movies? What?"
"It's whatever you want it to be, and it's different for each of us," Joanne said quietly. "We all see The Channel through our own eyes. It's your perfect fantasy. You'll see when you watch it tonight."
"Will I like it?"
"I think you will, but it depends," Joanne told her. She stood up. "I've got to go too. The school district wants me to help out during exam week next month. I've got some prep work to do. Rina, the jelly sticks were heaven, as always."
"Come on," Carla said, pulling Nora up and linking her arm in Nora's. "I'll walk you home. Thanks, Rina. See ya, Tiff, Joanne!"
"Why are you all so mysterious about this channel thing?" Nora asked as they walked across the cul-de-sac. "And how come you haven't shared it with me before today? You don't usually keep stuff from me, Carla. Why this?"
Carla sighed. "Because The Channel is a secret," she answered honestly. "It's just for women, and it isn't for every woman. If you like it, you'll go back. If you don't, you won't, and you'll forget all about it. That's the way it is, and that's the way it's always been, I'm told. And most important, it's a secret no woman shares with a man. You'll understand once you've been there."
"That's weird," Nora responded. "I don't know if I want to get mixed up in something like that. Why can't any of you tell me what it is? Why is everyone so evasive? And all the hush-hush stuff. Is it something illegal?"
They had reached the Buckleys and stood outside continuing to talk.
"Joanne told you the truth. We all view The Channel through different eyes, Nora. I guess the best way to explain it is to say that The Channel lets you live out your fantasies. It's one thing for me, and another for the others. It will be entirely different for you too. Like I said earlier, it's an interactive thingy, sweetie. I don't understand how it works myself, but I sure love it."
"Oh," Nora said. She really didn't understand this computer and interactive stuff. It was all Greek to her. She supposed she was going to have to learn about it if she was going to survive in this strange new world that seemed to have evolved while she had been busy being a good wife and mother. With J. J. gone in just a few short months, it might just be the right time to take a few courses. Rina and Carla were right.
"Let me know how you like The Channel," Carla said, her brown eyes twinkling as she and Nora parted at the Buckleys' kitchen stoop. "See ya!" And she was off across the perfect green lawn to her own house next door.
Nora entered her house, walking through the kitchen into the den, where she sat wearily down in her recliner. Voicing her fears aloud to her friends this morning had finally made her wake up and think about what was happening around her. For twenty-six years she had devoted herself to Jeff, his wants, his needs, their children. Everything was for them. She had never asked anything for herself. Consequently she had grown into a pretty dull person, Nora admitted to herself. Jeff led an exciting life, but her life was so damned ordinary and colorless. Maybe The Channel could be her first step on the road to a new and exciting Nora.
When they had come to Ansley Court it had been exciting. She had loved being at home, decorating each room lovingly and thoughtfully, working out in her gardens with Mr. Handlemann from the nursery, choosing the plants and trees for their property. She had picked fabrics and paints. Bought furniture and carpets. Jeff wasn't interested in any of it. The house was hers, he told her. It was her realm to do with as she pleased as long as it was tasteful and elegant so they might eventually entertain his bosses and clients.
Jeff had gotten himself a job with Coutts and Wickham Advertising. In those days it had been a medium-sized agency. He was unusually clever at thinking up successful campaigns for the clients, and they liked him as well. Jeff had worked hard, but then, Nora thought, so had she. Their home was right out of
Country Living
. And in those early years she had entertained perfectly for the firm. Their Christmas parties had even been written up in the city paper's Sunday color supplement. And Jeff had been made a partner. The firm was now known as Buckley, Coutts and Wickham Advertising.
And the children had been carefully spaced four years apart. They were terrific kids. Jill had accelerated her college time. She would be through after the summer semester, having finished in just three years. Jill had already taken her LSAT exams and been accepted at Duke University's law school. She would start in late summer. J. J. was not as focused as his sister had been at eighteen. J. J. would take four or more years to get his degree, if Nora wasn't mistaken. But she had no doubt that when he found himself J. J. would excel in life.
Yes, Nora thought to herself, I really have to do something with myself. I've got to get a life of my own now. I've got a perfect house, a perfect lawn, and garden, great kids, but what the hell do I really want? If Jeff is really having an affair, if Rina is right, I could be losing everything. What would I do then? But Nora knew that there was no what-if about it. Her husband was obviously involved with someone else, and until she had said it aloud this morning, she hadn't been able to face it herself. Now she was facing it, and it scared the hell out of her.
What had happened to them? The revelation this morning that Jeff was a womanizer had been a bit of a shock, though. But hadn't she always looked at Jeff through rose-colored glasses from the moment she met him? Yes, she had, she acknowledged to herself. She was dewy-eyed, and he was an important senior on the State campus. She'd never really had a boyfriend until Jeff Buckley. The private school she had attended, Lane, had been an all-girls school.
Her late father had been very impressed with Jeff Buckley. "The boy comes from a solid family," Nora remembered him saying. Jeff Buckley. The perfect prospect. Quarterback. Senior-class president, head of the debating team, at a time when student bodies across America were protesting and rebelling. Jeff, however, did not rebel. Rebellion, he argued firmly, was both inefficient and time-consuming. You changed the system from within the system, not by encouraging anarchy. Jeff had been pure establishment. Nora had thought he was just wonderful, and he had won over her father immediately, calling him "sir." Her parents had met him that first Homecoming Weekend.
Nora's mother, however, worried that Jeff was a bit— what was the word she had used?
Bossy?
Yes! Bossy. But Nora hadn't minded. Her father had been controlling. It felt good to let someone else take charge. Now after all these years she wasn't so certain that her mother hadn't been right. Maybe her mother had been trying to warn her in some subtle way. But she wouldn't have listened to Margo at that time in her life anyway, Nora realized. She was in love, and it was wonderful! She had never dated anyone else. She was a virgin on their wedding night. She remembered he had been very pleased. It was obvious that Jeff wasn't a virgin, however, but his mastery had thrilled her innocent heart.
But he had never liked it when she showed what he considered undue enthusiasm in their lovemaking. He had once accused her of being whorish, which had hurt her feelings. She had thought he would be flattered by her newly awakened passions. That if you loved someone, you should show him that you did. Jeff was not of similar mind.
"I'd really be wondering about you, Nora," he had said to her, "if I hadn't popped your cherry myself. You really bled, baby."