Promise Me (41 page)

I need you in my life, Kate. I always have. Please give me the chance to finish what we started when we were kids and what’s only grown stronger between us these past two months. Please. I promise you won’t regret it.

That was it. I was crying my eyes out. That had done it.

“He loves you, you know,” my sister said, and I looked up, surprised to see her still standing in the doorway.

“What?” I questioned, not sure I’d heard her correctly.

“He loves you.”

“As a friend,” I said as I wiped the tears from under my eyes.

“As more than a friend. That’s why he did all this.”

“What?”

I was sure I hadn’t heard her right. Everything in me wanted Jack’s words to be ones of love – real love – but I knew that wasn’t the case.

Sara nodded, but somehow I still couldn’t wrap my head around what she was saying. Nowhere in any of Jack’s notes did he say anything about love. They all read like the makings of the best friendship, which was what we had at the heart of it all – or at least what we’d had before I screwed it up and fell for him.

I shook my head. “We’re friends. That’s all. He just wants us to be friends again.”

I had a feeling I was saying that to convince myself to let go of the little bit of hope that had crept into my heart in the past few minutes, because I knew there was no way Jack was in love with me – no matter how much I wanted him to be.

“You should go see him. He’s waiting in his apartment for you.”

Of course he was. He’d gone to all this trouble, because he wanted us to make up. And he’d known I was trying to push him away. He was desperate, but damn if it hadn’t worked.

“I can’t,” I told my sister, even though I knew I was just stalling.

After everything Jack had said, I didn’t know how I could stay out of his life. It was going to possibly destroy my heart, but I knew I was going to take that chance.

“Yes, you can. Jack did this for a reason, and it wasn’t friendship. You don’t go to
this
much trouble for a friend. Besides, I saw the look in his eyes when he asked for my help. He loves you.”

God, I wanted to believe her.

“But what about Alyssa?” I questioned, because as far as I knew she was still in the picture. Jack hadn’t said otherwise two nights earlier. I knew he would have told me if they’d broken up.

Sara shrugged. “Why don’t you ask Jack about her?”

I figured she’d pretty much stop at nothing to get me to go over to Jack’s apartment. I knew the only thing I should do at that point was talk to him – not just about Alyssa, but about everything else – but I was afraid. I didn’t want to find out that Sara’s assumption was wrong, because that damn hope I’d felt had crept back in, and it was now firmly lodged in my chest. But what if what she’d said really
was
true and Jack wanted to be with me?

Well, if that was the case, then I’d be about ten different emotions that all equated to varying levels of happiness. The problem was I was completely skeptical that what I wanted could actually happen. It had occurred so seldom in my life that I naturally didn’t believe I was destined for good things – especially not something like this that I wanted with every fiber of my being. Hearing that there might be a chance for all the pieces of my life to fall into place was foreign on a level I couldn’t comprehend.

Looking up at my sister, I had a feeling I should start comprehending it. I knew she’d never tell me something that wasn’t true – especially something this life-changing – and the look on her face told me she genuinely believed that Jack was in love with me.

“I guess I’ll be back,” I said hesitantly as I slid off of the bed.

Sara smiled at me. “I was hoping you’d say that. I’ll be here wishing I could put a cup to the door and listen, so you’d better be prepared to tell me everything when you get back.”

“If there’s anything to tell,” I said, still feeling skeptical.

“There will be,” she assured me, and I felt my stomach do a flip just thinking about everything that could transpire. It was too good to be true.

I took a few minutes to make sure I didn’t look puffy-eyed and that my eye make-up hadn't run, and then I slipped on some shoes and a sweater and headed across the hall, grabbing the stack of notes on my way.

My breath hitched in my chest as I paused in front of Jack’s apartment door. Then I raised my hand and knocked, my heart pounding wildly in my chest.

A few seconds later, the door opened, and there he was, looking as incredible as always and making me wish for things I was afraid to want. His hazel eyes had a sparkle to them, but he didn’t say anything as he stepped back to let me inside. His apartment had a lived-in, homey feel that was only compounded by the smell of something cooking on the stove.

I saw that two place settings were set up on the bar along with wine glasses, and I realized fairly quickly that I’d interrupted him making dinner. And either he and his roommates were ultra-formal, or he was cooking for a girl. Alyssa? That thought made my stomach clench.

“You came,” Jack said softly from behind me where he’d stepped to close the front door.

I didn’t see or hear his roommates, but that didn’t mean they weren’t home. That only enhanced the nervous feeling coursing through me, and I wondered if I shouldn’t ask him if we could talk in private. And maybe we needed to make it quick if Alyssa was on her way over.

I swallowed as I turned to face him. “I got your notes.”

“And?”

“And what?” I asked, my voice sounding hoarse.

He smiled and took a step toward me. “And what did you think?”

“They were really nice.”

“Nice?” he questioned, looking amused. “That wasn’t exactly what I was aiming for.”

God, the way he was looking at me. If his girlfriend was on her way over, that would probably make him the shittiest guy on the planet. His gaze was locked onto mine, and I knew the look he was giving me so well. It was the same one I’d seen years earlier when he’d asked to kiss me the first time, and it was a look I’d seen again on Saturday night. It made me feel like I was the only person in the world he wanted to be looking at.

“Oh,” I said softly as the already active butterflies in my stomach started fluttering like mad. “What we’re you aiming for?”

Please don’t break my heart. Please don’t break my heart.

Jack’s smile grew wider as he took a step closer to me. “I was aiming for a lot of things, but honestly, my main goal was just to get you to come over here. I figured we should talk. I didn’t like the way we left things the other night.”

I bit my lip, not convinced that anything he was saying indicated more than what I’d originally assumed of his intentions. But then he put his hands on my hips and drew me closer.

“Jack,” I said, almost pleading with him not to toy with me. As it was, he was almost giving me too much hope. I so badly wanted for this to be real.

“There you go saying my name again. I really do love it.”

“Jack, what is this?” I almost begged, needing to know for sure.

“I believe I said I wanted to continue what we started when we were kids. I thought my intentions were fairly clear.”

I shook my head slowly. “Not really.”

He gave me a small smile. “I guess I’ve never been good with words. I didn’t say what I wanted to say the other night when I should have said it, and I regret that, but I want to say it now. Please be patient with me, since I might screw this up.”

I nodded as my breath caught in my chest. “Okay.”

“What I wanted to say, and what I couldn’t articulate for a long time, was that you were my first love, Kate. I loved you for so many years, and when I saw you again, all of those feelings I’d carried around, the ones I thought had faded, they came right back. At first I didn’t realize it. I don’t think I wanted to see them, and I can’t explain why that is. Maybe it was because I had a girlfriend, or maybe I was just scared, because I knew that loving you was something real. For years I wasn’t ready for real, but when we were home last weekend, and it was just us, and I had the best time I could remember, and you fit so perfectly into my world, I knew what I wanted.
That
was why I wanted to kiss you. I didn’t want to do it once to see how it would feel. I wanted to do it, because there was a part of me that knew if I kissed you, I would know for sure that everything I was feeling wasn’t just one-sided. But you pushed me away, and it stunned me. After that, all I wanted to do was kiss you, but I couldn’t. I thought it was because we didn’t want the same things, but the other night, when you told me you wanted me to kiss you, you stunned me again. Then you walked away with tears in your eyes, and I just stood there like an idiot. I wanted so badly to grab you and kiss you and tell you I loved you, because I do, but I knew there was one thing I had to deal with before I could do that.”

Jack’s face had gone blurry as tears had filled my eyes and spilled down my cheeks. He was saying everything I wanted to hear and everything I’d only dreamed of him telling me. He was saying that he loved me.

His thumbs darted up and swept under my eyes, wiping my tears away, but it didn’t do any good. More only followed. “Don’t cry,” he said, shaking his head. “Please don’t cry, Kate.”

I felt my body sink against his as his arms wrapped around me, keeping me steady. Then I looked up into his soulful eyes that I loved so much.

“You broke up with Alyssa?” I questioned, because as soon as he’d said it, I knew that was the thing he’d had a deal with. And my sister had known that too. She just hadn’t told me.

Jack nodded. “Yes, because I want to be with you. You’re the girl I love. You have my past, you’ve completely consumed my present, and I want you to be my future. It’s always been you, Kate.”

Oh God, that was sweet.

“I love you too,” I said softly, and I could barely take a breath before his lips were on mine, melding them with his, connecting us in the way I’d been craving for too long, and sealing his words with something deeper than I’d imagined possible.

It was so different from the kiss we’d shared when we were twelve. Years of practice had given Jack a confidence that he’d lacked once upon a time, and he kissed me with an assuredness that let me wholly give myself over to the moment, drinking in what I’d only dreamed about, and what I’d never thought would happen again. His lips pressed against mine, moving softly but intentionally, drawing me in and making me feel safer than I’d felt in years.

His tongue brushed against my lips, and I parted them for him, letting him in and taking the intimacy I’d always felt with him to a new level. I got lost in the kiss, sinking into him and lifting my hands so I could thread them through his hair, trying to remember every sensation, so I could fall asleep later thinking about the most perfect kiss I’d ever experienced.

When Jack finally pulled away after what felt like an eternity and no time at all, he was smiling. Then he leaned forward and pressed a soft, chaste kiss to my lips. “You really love me?”

I cupped his cheek with my hand and looked into his soulful hazel eyes as I said, “You’ve always had my heart, Jack Kinsley. I honestly can’t remember a time when I didn’t love you.”

I watched his mouth twist into a sheepish smile as I dropped my hand. Then I pressed up on my toes and kissed him again. Several minutes passed, and we probably would have kept kissing, but the timer on the stove went off, the blaring noise breaking through the moment.

“Dinner’s ready,” he said softly.

“You cooked for me?”

“Yeah, I did. I’m not sure that was the original plan, but I had a lot of nervous energy sitting over here waiting for you to get home and find my notes. I was making myself crazy standing by the window watching for your car to pull up, so I decided to make chili.”

“It smells incredible,” I said as he moved to the stove to turn off the burner.

“It’s a Kinsley family recipe. It has three kinds of meat in it and a whole lot of spice. I think you’re going to like it.”

My eyebrows rose. “
Three
kinds of meat – the kid version of me is so jealous right now.”

He smiled as he looked over his shoulder at me. “I know how that feels. The first time Uncle Rob served this up, I’m pretty sure I ate it until I couldn’t move. It was pretty much the best thing I’d ever tasted.”

“Now I’m really intrigued,” I said, walking over to the stove and peering around him to see inside the pot he was stirring.

I pressed against his back and put my hands around his waist as he hummed out a little noise of contentment. “I like having you close way too much,” he said, turning in my arms so he was facing me. “Hi.”

I smiled up at him, wondering how it was possible to feel so full of glee and not burst. “Hi yourself.”

“So this is really happening?” he questioned. “We’re doing this?”

“Are you having second thoughts?”

He shook his head. “Not even for one second,” he said as he leaned down to kiss my nose. “This is perfect.”

“It’s more than perfect. My day sucked so bad. I never thought it would turn out like this.”

“So I did good?”