Promise Me (12 page)

Grayson seemed preoccupied when we returned home.  He nodded absently when I thanked him for the lesson and began to load everything on his shoulder, carrying it back to his trailer.  It didn’t seem like he particularly wanted my company at the moment so I sighed and looked around. 

I’d become familiar with the vague differences between the bike
s the men rode.  I noticed the ones belonging to Casper, Orion and Teague were not parked in front of Riverbottom.  It was still too early for the bar to open, so I figured I’d call on Rachel and see what she was up to. 

When I rapped lightly on the door she beckoned for me to come in. 

“Well?” she called impatiently toward the bathroom. 

Kira emerged, dressed only in a tank top and thong.  She held something up in the air and giggled.  “Positive!”  Then she squealed and hurled herself at Rachel’s neck. 

Rachel laughed and pretended to choke, finally pushing her away.  Kira’s eyes fell on me suddenly and she seemed a little startled. 

“What’s going on?” I asked mildly, leaning against the counter, although I already suspected.

Kira glanced at Rachel and then looked back at me.  “I’m pregnant,” she said with a shy smile. 

“Are you happy?” I asked curiously. 

She bobbed her head up and down, clasping the pregnancy test between her hands.  “I’m fucking ecstatic!” 

I smiled.  “Then it’s wonderful news.”  I hugged her.

“Thanks, Promise,” she breathed into my hair.  Then she remembered something.  “Hey, you’re a midwife, right?  You can deliver my baby!”

I laughed.  “I’ve never delivered unassisted before, but yes.  Have you decided on a home birth?”

“What?” Kira looked blank. 

“Never mind, plenty of time to decide your birth plan.  How far along are you?”

She thought for a moment.  “My last period was five weeks ago.”

“You pregnancy is counted from the first day of your last period.  You’re five weeks pregnant.  Congratulations, Kira.” 

She blushed a little and stared down at her flat, suntanned belly with wonder.  Rachel placed a loving hand over her navel.  “Wait’ll you tell him,” she said softly. 

Kira looked up sharply, and her face crumble
d a little.  “Oh shit, Rach.  I’m sorry.  I forgot.” 

Rachel shook her head emphatically.  “
No, sweet girl,” she said, cupping Kira’s chin.  “It’s a happy day.”  Rachel noticed me watching and explained.  “I can’t have babies. Or at least, it’s highly unlikely I can carry a child to term.  I can get pregnant but I’ll nearly always miscarry.” 

Kira hugged Rachel tightly around the waist and Rachel hugged her back.  Then they both gathered me into their
arms and we stayed there quietly for a while. 

As Rachel whipped up some breakfast Kira asked me a million questions about pregnancy, her blue eyes wide.  I briefly told her the important things there were to know this early; how the neural tube was forming and she ought to be taking a good prenatal vitamin, how she would likely feel some uncomfortable stretching as her uterus prepared to expand for the task at hand. 

After eating heartily, Kira gasped when she heard the noise of the returning motorcycles.  Rachel tossed her the denim cutoff shorts she’d left on the floor of the bathroom and Kira hastily wrestled them on. 

I looked out the window and saw the men getting off their bikes in front of the Riverbottom.  Kira lingered by the door, seeming suddenly unsure of herself. 

“Go ahead, sweetie,” Rachel said with gentleness and Kira took a deep breath and walked into the sunlight. 

Rachel hovered over my shoulder as we watched her make her way over to the bar.  Teague had already disappeared.  Casper waved to Orion and headed toward the trailer, nudging Kira slightly as he pass
ed her. 

Kira, however, had her eyes glued to Orion
.  He watched her approach and leaned back on the seat of his bike, waiting.  She placed a hand on each of his thighs, and leaned over, speaking quietly.  Then she took a step back, nervously chewing her finger. 

Orion’s face was immovable for a minute.  Then he broke into a broad smile and lifted her up, twirling her around in circles. 

Rachel closed the curtain, smiling, as Casper came through the door.  From the way his eyes focused immediately on Rachel, I figured I was about to be in the way so I took the keys to the bar from Rachel and said I would start getting the place ready to open.

“See you later,” she whispered, shooting Casper a significant look. 

I
had already learned it didn’t take much to get the bar ready.  Sweep the floor, wipe down the tables, polish the glasses.  I looked at the bottles behind the counter but didn’t know much about what they were or how full they ought to be so I just dusted them off and started reading a copy of
Anna Karenina
that Kira had left lying around.

The woman who walked in a short time later wasn’t smiling.
  She looked vaguely familiar.  She was on the thin side and her light brown hair was tied up in a ponytail.  I estimated that she was perhaps a few years older than me. 

“Where’s Rachel?” she said by way of a greeting. 

I met her cold eyes, crossing my arms.  “Not here.”  Whoever she was she didn’t seem particularly friendly.  “We’re not officially open yet today, but I can get you a drink if you want.” 

She gave a disgusted little laugh.  “I’ll get it myself.”   She headed behind the counter and poured a glass from the tap.

“So,” she said, leaning into the bar and finally offering a smile which didn’t have a shred of warmth.  “Who the hell are you?”

I didn’t like her at all. “I could ask you the same thing.” 

Her glare was sharp as she looked me up and down.  “You someone’s old lady?  Or are you just temporary entertainment?” 

“Neither.”

“Got to be one or the other here,” she said, lighting a cigarette.  “You know these guys?”

I shrugged.  “I’m a friend of Grayson’s.”

It was the wrong thing to say. Her eyes narrowed and the hand which held the cigarette froze.  Suddenly I knew who I was looking at. 

“So you’re Talia, right?”

“Hmm.  My boy talked about me, did he?”

“No.  And I get the distinct
impression he’s not yours.” 

She laughed.  “
You’re wasting your time, bitch.  He may be a wild beast between the sheets but he’s also one cold hearted mother fucker.” 

I was getting angry.  Of all the ways I could think of to describe Grayson Mercado, ‘cold hearted’
would never be among them.  “Look, I don’t think you have any business here and from all the garbage I’ve heard tossed around where your name is concerned, it seems you’d better just go.” 

Talia was enjoying this.  She rapped her fingernails on the bar and took a step closer.  “Oh, is that what the
shy little kitten thinks?”

The door to the bar opened and Maddox lurched through it with Brandon on his heels.
  Upon seeing Talia, Brandon shrank against the wall and hissed like a cat. 

“She devil,
she devil, hsss hsss,” he chanted. 

“Fuck,”
swore Maddox. 

Talia glared at them and started to protest. 

“Just get fucking lost!” roared Maddox, throwing open the door forcefully. 

Talia directed an icy glare at me and then haughtily stalked through the door.  Brandon collapsed into a chair, chuckling. 

Maddox scowled at me pointedly.  “She talking shit to you?  About Gray?”

“A little,” I admitted. 

“Yeah, well she’s a lying cunt.”

I blushed and lowered my head.  Brandon laughed louder. 

“Damn, you scared the poor thing, Mad.” 

“No, he didn’t,”
I raised my head and stared defiantly at each of the men.  “And there’s nothing anyone could say to make me think badly of Grayson.  Nothing.”   

“Awww,” said Brandon.

“Well then,” Maddox said thoughtfully, “I guess you’re worth more than I fucking thought.”

I didn’t know what to do with tha
t statement so I just let it go.  The two of them seemed to forget about me shortly after that anyway, helping themselves to the bar and talking profanely about breasts and their many attributes.

Rachel wafted in a short time later, looking fresh and beautiful.  She exchanged some good natured ribbing with the guys until they took off. 

“Who are you looking for?” Rachel asked with a grin, noticing how I kept watch on the door. 

“No one,” I muttered, sticking my nose back into
Anna Karenina.
     

“Liar,” she observed, but didn’t push further. 

Kira was yawning when she came by in the early afternoon.  She smiled at me lazily. 

“Should I be this tired?” 

I nodded.  “It’s not unusual for women to feel exhausted even very early into their first trimester.”

Kira sat on a bar stool and looked at me seriously.  “You know, I never really had a lot of friends.  The girls I knew, they wouldn’t have understood where I
came from.  So I kept them at a distance.”  She suddenly jumped off the bar stool and wrapped me in a fierce hug, resting her cheek on my shoulder in a sweet way as her blond hair fell in my face.  “I’m glad you’re here, Promise,” she said. 

I hugged her back, content to bask in the warm glow of a sisterly bond. 

“I’m glad too,” I said.  But then my heart squeezed a little with the troubled thought which was never far away.

Jenny, Jenny.  I haven’t forgotten. 

Rachel asked if I could help work the bar that night.   I didn’t mind, although I wanted to go change from the dusty jeans I’d worn that morning when I went shooting with Grayson. 

After a quick shower I looked through my wardrobe, choosing a dress I hadn’t yet worn.  It was an emerald green and the most low-cut
of all which was why I had avoided it.  Yet as I slipped it on I saw immediately how well it flattered my body.  I fluffed out the natural waves in my hair and secured a white flower clip behind my ear.  After I carefully applied some light makeup I took a step back and looked into the small mirror, surprised that I actually seemed pretty.  And it didn’t feel vain, or wrong.  Only pleasant.  I ran my hands over the dress fabric, moving them firmly over the flat planes of my stomach and finally pressing boldly against the shelf of my breasts. 

A hot blu
sh rose in my face as I considered how nice it would be.  To be touched, to be wanted.  In the way that Casper wanted Rachel or that Orion wanted Kira.  I remembered the way Grayson’s muscular arms had surrounded me when he was helping me aim the gun.  The responding warm pull in my belly was powerful.  I wondered if he ever thought about me, and not just as a sorry creature who trailed after him.  But as a woman. 

With a sigh I turned off the light and stepped out of the trailer, locking it behind me.  Evening approached rapidly.  Overhead a handful of bats squeaked as
they embarked on their night flight.  I stared after them, watching their dark shapes melt into the night. 

When my gaze turned
toward the Riverbottom I saw him.  He stood only a few yards away and there was enough light for me to glimpse the full meaning of the look on his face before he had time to mask it. 

“Hi,” I said, feeling inexplicably nervous. 

Grayson didn’t smile.  “Hey.”

I nodded at the bar.  “I’m working tonight.  Are you coming down?”

“Sure, I’ll be there.”  He took a step closer, his voice soft.  “That’s a nice dress.”

“Yeah?” I looked down, pleased. 

“Yeah,” he said gruffly, still not smiling, still with the same fixed look of intensity. 

I swallowed, rather at a loss over what to say next.  Fortunately there was
a crude interruption in the form of Maddox.  He busted out of his trailer wearing only a pair of boxer shorts.  When he spied Grayson he promptly jogged over. 

“Yo, Gray,” Maddox hissed.  “
You got any rubbers?”

Grayson glanced at me and then shot him an appalled look.  “Seriously, asshole?”

Maddox was unperturbed.  “What?”  He motioned to me. “I mean, I know she’s all oppressed and shit, but she probably knows what rubbers are.”

Gray clenched his teeth and looked at the sky.  “That’s not the fucking point.” 

“Sure it is.  Hey sweetie, you know what rubbers are, right?  Damn
Gray, you should have heard this girl defending you today.  It was awful fucking cute.”  He turned to me with a friendly smile.  “See, I got Big Tits Cheryl – we call her that ‘cause she’s got big tits – all laid out and ready to go.  Fuck if I’m gonna drive to drive to town just to get a goddamn raincoat.” 

“Holy shit,” Gray shook his head. 

“Oh Jesus, never mind if it’s such a big fucking deal.  I’ll go hit up Brandon.” 

Maddox briefly scratched be
tween his legs and then stalked away. 

Gray stared after him.  “Animals,” he said in an incredulous voice. 

I bit my lip and giggled, which seemed to startle Grayson.  Then he laughed. 

“Well,” I said, “Rachel’s waiting for me.  You coming over now?”

He shook his head.  “No, not right now.” 

“Oh.  Soon?”

He looked me in the eye.   “Yes,” he agreed.  “Soon.”  And then he turned and walked in the other direction. 

“Soon,” I whispered and then headed into the bar. 

There was a brief rush around ten o’clock and then it quietly faded.  Gray showed up somewhere in the middle of that and sat in the back with Brandon, who was downing a tequila shot every five minutes. 

Kira and Orion sat in a dark corner.  She was on his lap, her head resting on his shoulder, her eyes closed, as he gently stroked her arm. 

Casper stood behind the bar with Rachel, his arms around her waist.  I saw him nuzzle her ear and whisper something and she laughed.  Suddenly he reached back into the darkness.  The volume of the music rose considerably. 

Kira sat up and rubbed her eyes grumpily.  “What is this?”

“Shit, that’s an oldie,” Orion smiled.  “Probably from about the year you were born, darlin’.” 

She listened for a moment
.  “Never heard it before.” 

“What?”  He pulled her to her feet.  “You never heard
of fucking Meatloaf?  This is from his comeback era in the early nineties.” 

I listened to the words.  The singer was vowing tha
t he would do anything for love in between a lot of crashing instrumental sequences.   

Orion grabbed Kira and hauled her close.  “This music was made for dancing and fucking.”

She moved her body aggressively against him.  “Well,” she smiled.  “One leads to the other, doesn’t it?”  

Casper took Rachel in his arms and they swayed to the music, lost in one another. 

Orion glanced up and saw me watching.  His blue eyes twinkled with mischief.  He snapped his fingers at Grayson.

“
Gray,” he called.  “Get the fuck over there and dance with your girl.” 

For a second Gray
son looked like a deer caught in the headlights.  He glanced at me and I looked away, thinking he would ignore Orion and that it was probably for the best since I didn’t know how to dance anyway. 

But a moment later he left Brandon to his tequila and made his way over to me.  He didn’t say anything as
his hands went lightly around my waist.  It seemed completely natural to reach up and put my hands on his wide shoulders. 

The music reached a crescendo and then grew softer.  A woman’s voice took over, mournfully asking her lover if he would be all the things she needed.  I felt Gray sigh against me and I tightened my hold, pulling him closer and feeling the full
resistance of his muscled body against me. 

His breath quickened and his hands went across my back, one wrapping completely around my waist, the other snaking up my spine and resting underneath my hair. 
I wanted him to hold me like this forever and then suddenly it wasn’t enough.  I wanted more.  The fabric of my dress was thin and I could feel the full threat of his maleness growing against me.  I knew he wanted more too. 

Brandon suddenly came to life in the corner with a howl.  “
Have at her, Gray!” 

Orion chimed in, pointing down the dark hallway.  “Office is empty, kids.
Pound it.” 

The effect on Grayson was immediate.  It was as if he’d been doused with c
old water.  He backed away and shot me a long, impenetrable look before retreating to the other side of the bar after grabbing a beer. 

I crossed my arms over my chest,
feeling confused and a little embarrassed.  Rachel was still consumed with Casper, but Kira gave me an apologetic glance.  She kissed Orion on the mouth and said, “Don’t be long, babe,” before winking at me and heading back to the house. 

Rather at a loss of what to do with myself, I started straightening out the chairs at the empty tables.  Out of the corner of my eye saw Casper
wander over to where Gray sat moodily in the corner. 

Rachel sidled over and brushed a lock of hair from my cheek.  “You look so pretty,” she smiled an
d I tried to smile back.  But I was in turmoil.  I badly wanted to talk to my cousin, to ask her what it meant when it seemed a man wanted you one minute and not the next. 

But Rachel seemed distracted all of a sudden.  She looked toward the door with her head cocked and then briskly walked over, stepping outside.  When she burst through it a moment later her face was pale and troubled.  She hurried straight over to Casper. 

“Cas,” I heard her say.  “Mojaves are outside.” 

Casper looked up at her, hearing someth
ing in her tone.  I was puzzled.  I knew the Mojaves were another motorcycle club but they seemed friendly to the Defiant men.  Yet the worried look on Rachel’s face said something was terribly wrong. 

Orion had heard and he moved faster than any of them, reaching the door in a heartbeat.  Casper pulled
a drunken Brandon to his feet as Gray tensely started to follow Orion.  Suddenly he glanced back at me and his face grew worried.

“Rachel,” he barked at my cousin.  She nodded and pulled me by the arm, heading behind the bar as the men went outside. 

“What’s going on?” I asked, jerking my arm away and hearing cursed shouting from the other side of the door. 

Rachel swallowed, looking uneasy.  “I don’t know, hon. Stay here though, okay?”

I heard Grayson’s voice and my breath caught.  I had learned that standing back and hoping things ended well did not work.  No, I wasn’t going to cower behind the bar and wait.  Not if there was any chance Gray was in trouble. 

Shaking Rachel off, I reached the half open door in time to see Grayson get punched in the face by a large, frightening man who looked familiar.
  The thud of fist on skin was sickening.  I gasped but none of the men paid any attention, so intent were they on the spectacle. 

Gray
staggered slightly but then shook his head and stood tall in time to take a hit to his bare chest.  I remembered the other man’s name.  Angelo.  He gave Gray an almost friendly smile and patted him on the shoulder as Gray bent over slightly, trying to breathe through the pain. 

“We’re square, kid,” said Angelo
in a mild voice, before starting to head inside the bar. 

Orion pushed past me with scarcely a glance, followed by Angelo
and the other men, Defiant and Mojave both, who seemed uniformly relieved and eager to share a drink. 

I tried to get past them, my eyes on Grayson, who accepted his shirt back from Casper with a grin.  When he saw me, however, the smile faded instantly. 

“Promise,” he said, as if he were confused over my distress. 

I could see how his face was swelling and I touched his cheek.  “Gray,” I whispered as my other hand moved gently to the place on his chest where’d taken the second hit. 

My chest welled with an almost physical pain as I touched the places he’d been hurt.  It didn’t seem too bad and I almost sobbed with relief, throwing my arms around his neck and holding him close whether he wanted me to or not. 

The groan which escaped his lips seemed involu
ntary.  As I pressed against his body I noticed the same rising need I’d felt as we danced and I surged against him, daring him to push me away again.  Instead his mouth sought mine in a fiery crush of passion.  It was unlike anything else.  The touch of his tongue was an electric jolt and when his strong hands began a wild exploration of my body, I was his completely.  His arms lifted me as if I weighed nothing and I responded instinctively, wrapping my legs around his waist and not caring about anything but satisfying the pounding urgency. 

When I pulled back
a few inches we were both breathing heavily. 

“Now,”
I told him with finality.  Not another night, not soon. 
Now.
 

Grayson settled his arms around me more firmly and started to walk quickly towards his trailer.  I ran my lips along his neck, tryi
ng to let him know that there was no uncertainty.  I wanted him.  I needed him.  And I would never be sorry. 

We were alone together in the dimly lit confines of his trailer.  Gray shut the door behind him and everything else evaporated.  I sank into his kiss, feeling dizzy over the play of our tongues as his hands tugged gently at the straps of my dress.  He seemed hesitant suddenly to move too quickly, as if he didn’t want to test my fragility.
  My hands covered his and pressed with insistence, forcing the thin cotton down with them, trying to tell him I wouldn’t break from the effort.  There was nothing at all wrong in his touch, except that I wanted all of it.  I kissed the broadest part of his chest which was right in front of me, tasting the smoothness of his skin.  His fingers skillfully unfastened my bra and it fell away.  When Gray’s mouth took my right breast I moaned with shock and delight.  He lingered over the tender nipple, artfully stimulating, and then moved over to the left side.

Gray still had
n’t touched where I wanted him the most.  I reached for him, timid at first.  My hand found the hard bulge between his legs.  When he cursed with pleasure I grew bolder, unfastening his pants and letting his thick rigidity extend across my palm as I ran my hand over it gently, spellbound by the power I held. 

Gray couldn’t wait anymore.  He lifted me under the arms and I felt myself moving backwards until we bumped into the bed on the fa
r side of the trailer.  He paused and drew back a few inches, looking me over with care before slowly easing my dress the rest of the way over my hips, taking my panties with it.