Protecting Jessyka (SEAL of Protection) (Volume 6) (8 page)

“Are you fucking shitting me?”

Jess was taken aback at the harsh words coming out of Benny’s friend’s mouth and involuntarily took a step away from him.

“Dude . . .” Benny warned in a quiet voice.

“You didn’t tell me he tried to fucking choke her, Benny.”

Jess brought her hand up to her throat and tried to cover the lingering marks. She’d honestly forgotten about them. Benny had made her feel so comfortable and relaxed around him, she hadn’t even remembered her bruises.

“I told you there was a reason she was wearing a turtleneck.”

“The only reason a woman should feel obligated to wear a fucking turtleneck when it’s seventy fucking degrees outside is if she needs to cover up the angry marks a man made on her neck the night before because she doesn’t want anyone to see and because some asshat guy doesn’t want anyone to ask any questions and get his ass thrown in jail.”

Holy crap. His words made Jess shift where she was standing. This guy was intense, but he hadn’t made a move toward her and his words came off as concerned somehow at the same time being very scary. It was obvious he was pissed at Brian, not her. She’d sensed he was somehow more intense than the other men that she’d met at
Aces
, but up close, he was kinda scaring the shit out of her.

Dude continued his mini-tirade. “You having those marks on your neck means that asshole you lived with needs a lesson in manners and the proper way to treat a woman.” Dude walked further into the apartment and came to Jess.

Jessyka’s eyes moved to Kason. He said he wouldn’t let anyone hurt her. She couldn’t run, for one, her hip wouldn’t allow it, but two, she had nowhere to go in the small space. She took a breath. Kason looked calm. Whatever his friend wanted with her, it wasn’t to hurt her. His non-concern about his friend hurting her allowed her to have the courage to stay where she was as the big SEAL came toward her.

Dude gently took her chin in his hand and raised her head. Jess felt his other hand brush against her neck. Then he dropped her chin and picked up one of her hands, he pushed the sleeve of her shirt up to examine the bruises on her upper arm, then did the same on the other side. “He cause that limp?”

Jess shook her head, she couldn’t get a word out of her tight throat if her life depended on it.

Dude cocked his head as if determining if she was telling the truth or not. Whatever he saw apparently was enough, because he turned on his heel and headed back to the door. “I’m calling Wolf. We’ll get the rest of her shit today. You take care of her.” Then he was out the door and gone.

Jess let out a breath and looked at Kason again. He was standing at the now closed door.

“Come here.”

Jess didn’t think. She went to him. She limped across the room and straight into Kason’s arms. As they closed around her, she breathed easy for the first time since the knock on the door happened.

“He’s a little intense,” Jess commented, even if it felt like the understatement of the year.

Benny laughed. “You don’t know the half of it. You okay?  Dude would never hurt you, but you didn’t know that.”

“I
did
know it. Okay, well, not at first, but you said you wouldn’t let anyone hurt me and you didn’t move when he came toward me, so I figured I was okay.”

“Jesus, Jess. Thank you for trusting me.”

“I thought we weren’t supposed to thank each other,” Jess said with a grin, looking up at Kason as he held her in the circle of his arms.

He laughed. “You got me there. Okay, let’s tackle one thing at a time today. Go get dressed. I’m assuming you have some clothes in the bag Dude brought.” Benny gestured to the bag sitting on the floor that Dude had dropped by the door when he’d stalked inside.

“Once you’re dressed, we’ll handle the other shit. Obviously we can cross ‘getting your stuff’ off the list, Dude and the guys have that covered.”

“How will they know what’s mine and what’s Brian’s?”

“They’ll figure it out, and if they don’t, who fucking cares. If they miss anything, I’ll get it for you.”

“I can’t ask you to . . .”

“You didn’t ask. I offered.” Benny interrupted Jess before she could finish her thought and leaned down, grabbed her bag and handed it to her. “Now get changed. As much as I like seeing you in my shirt, we have shit we have to do, and I’m not letting you leave the apartment looking like sex on a stick. Get moving.” Benny let go of Jess and turned her gently to face the room. He gave her a little push to the small of her back.

“You guys must take lessons in ‘bossy,’” Jess said, laughing as she limped toward the hallway. She looked back to see Kason’s eyes on her ass as she walked. She faltered a bit remembering what he’d told her earlier.

She watched as Benny’s eyes came up off her ass and up to meet her eyes. He merely winked and dropped his eyes again. Jess could only laugh and shake her head as she limped out of sight down the hallway.

Chapter Seven

Jessyka sat on the couch at Kason’s apartment and tried not to cry. She’d cried enough for one day.

While the morning had started off all right, the rest of the day had sucked. She’d called her boss at the bar and he’d been horrified at everything that had happened. Luckily, since she was a good employee, he’d given her an entire week off.

Next, Jess had contacted the women’s shelter and let them know she was safe and with a friend. Jess loved how Kason had put his hand over hers when she’d said that.

Then Kason took over and called Wolf. Dude had already talked to him and the rest of the SEAL team had arranged to go over to her old place and collect her belongings. Caroline, who was apparently married to Wolf, insisted on accompanying them. Jess had wanted to go too, but Kason waved her off and continued making arrangements without her involvement.

Jess had been pissed, but after Kason had explained that she had to go and see about Tabitha, she relented. He was right. If his friends could go over and get her things without her, why shouldn’t she let them? Deep down inside she was relieved she wouldn’t have to face Brian or the townhouse where she had such horrible memories again.

The last thing on the list was Tabitha and the reason the rest of the day had sucked. Kason had pulled some strings and talked to the caretaker of the funeral home. The guy had explained that Tammy had requested to have Tabitha’s body cremated. She hadn’t even arranged a service for her daughter.

Kason arranged for Jessyka to be able to go and say her goodbyes. Jess had no idea how he’d done it . . . surely it wasn’t as easy as calling up and saying they wanted to see a body . . . she technically wasn’t even related to Tabitha . . . but somehow Kason had done it. They’d arrived at the funeral home that afternoon. The caretaker had led them to a back room and left them alone with Tabitha’s body.

Jess had stood paralyzed by the door, staring at the gurney. She knew Tabitha lay under the sheet and she didn’t know if she could handle seeing her.

“I can’t,” she said quietly, her voice hitching.

“Take your time, Jess.” Kason wrapped his arms around her from behind and pulled her into his body. She melted into him, desperate for some support.

“I can’t,” she repeated despondently.

“Okay.”

Jess didn’t move and neither did Kason.

After what seemed like forever, but was probably only a minute or two, Jess took a hesitant step toward the body on the platform, then stopped. The sheet was almost obscenely white. She wished like hell Tabitha would sit up suddenly and say “surprise!” and giggle the way Jess remembered she used to do when she was younger.

“What if she doesn’t look like Tabitha? I can’t have my last glimpse of her that way.”

“Stay here.” Kason put his hands on her shoulders and pressed down. He leaned down and spoke quietly into Jess’s ear. “I’ll take a look and let you know. Do you trust me?”

“Yes.” Jessyka’s answer was immediate and relieved. “I shouldn’t ask you to . . .”

“Jess, look at me.” Benny came around her and stood in front of her, blocking her view of the body under the sheet. He put his finger under her chin. “I can handle this. I’m a SEAL. This won’t be the first dead person I’ve seen. Okay? Trust me to know if you can handle this.”

Jess could only nod. She briefly leaned forward and put her forehead on Kason’s chest, needing that contact. Her hands came to his sides and gripped his T-shirt in her fists. She felt Kason’s hands come around her and enfold her into his body. They stood like that for a minute or so, then she felt Kason’s arms loosen. He kissed the top of her head and then gently spun her around so she was looking at the door.

“Give me a second.”

Jess simply nodded again. She heard the rustle of the sheet and then nothing. Then Kason was back.

“It’s okay, come on.”

Jess took a deep breath and turned around. Kason put his arm around her and they walked to Tabitha’s side together.

Kason had pulled the sheet down enough so Tabitha’s face was the only thing visible. Jess choked back a sob. It looked like she was sleeping. Tabitha was pale, but otherwise she looked just like she had the last time Jess had seen her.

Jess lost it. She didn’t think she’d ever cried that hard. Kason had been so patient and kind with her too. He’d held her and murmured words of encouragement. He hadn’t rushed her, as a lot of men might have. Jess thought they were in the room for at least an hour. Every time Jess had decided she was ready to go, she couldn’t make herself leave.

Finally she was ready. Jess thought she’d gone through all five stages of grief in that hour with Tabitha. First she had tried to deny she was really dead. Tabitha had looked so normal, that she hadn’t believed she could be dead at first. Then she’d gotten mad. Tabitha had no right to kill herself. It was selfish and inconsiderate of their friendship. Then Jess had moved to the bargaining stage. Kason had to reel her back in from that one. She’d gone back to the “if only” statements she’d made the night before. Kason gently reminded her that it wasn’t her fault and there wasn’t anything Jess could have done to make the outcome any different.

Finally she cried. Hard. It was depressing as hell to see such a wonderful person, lifeless. The world would never get to read her wonderful stories, they’d never get to see what an awesome person Tabitha was. Finally, Jess had moved to acceptance. Tabitha was dead. She wasn’t in pain anymore. Jess didn’t have to worry about her friend being overly sensitive to everyday life events.

Jess knew she’d revisit all of the same feelings she’d just gone through sooner rather than later though. An hour wasn’t enough to completely heal, but she knew she felt as okay as she did, because Kason was there with her.

Jess had kissed Tabitha on the forehead, crying a bit again, feeling the coldness of her skin, and finally let Kason tug the sheet back up and over Tabitha’s face.

“Come on, gorgeous, let’s get out of here.”

Jess had nodded and they’d left. Kason thanked the caretaker and he’d taken them to the same park he’d pulled into not too long ago when he was taking her home from work that first night. He hadn’t said anything, but just helped her out of the car and they’d made the short walk to a bench. They’d sat on the bench and talked about Tabitha, and about nothing important for over two hours. Finally, after Jess’s stomach had growled, Kason had helped her up and taken her back to his car and back to his apartment.

Now she was sitting on his couch, comfortable and warm, and trying not to cry. Jess felt like she’d been crying all day. She hated being such a wimp, she’d never been one to feel sorry for herself. She needed a distraction. She got up and made her way to the kitchen.

“Can I help?”

Benny looked up at Jessyka. She’d been strong all day and he was so proud of her. He wanted to make a good home-style meal for her. He’d never invited a woman to assist him in the kitchen before. It was his space, the place he went when he needed to decompress. But the thought of having Jess standing next to him helping him, felt right. It felt like the next natural step in their relationship . . . whatever that was.

“I’d like nothing more than for you to help me, Jess.”

Jessyka tilted her head, somehow knowing there was more to his words than she was understanding, but she wasn’t feeling up to figuring it out right now.

“Where do you want me?”

Benny chuckled, if Jess knew where he really wanted her, she’d probably run screaming from the apartment.

“Come’ere. You chop the veggies while I put together the lasagna.”

“You’re making lasagna? Isn’t that . . . complicated?”

Benny leaned toward Jess and got in her space. “What? You don’t think I can do complicated?”

Jess swallowed hard. There were times when she thought Kason wanted more from her than just friendship, like now, but then other times he acted just like a buddy, like a friend would. “I-I-I’m sure you can.” She hated how her voice stuttered.

“I can do complicated, gorgeous. Promise. I like to cook. I’m good at it. This is gonna be the best lasagna you’ve ever eaten.”

“If the omelet this morning was any indication, I’m sure it will be.”

They worked around each other in the small space. Jess would reach for a knife around Kason as he worked on layering the sauce and noodles in the pan. He would stretch over her and snatch a slice of green pepper off of the cutting board as she chopped. They laughed and joked with each other. It was just what Jess needed. She felt normal.

“Here, taste this.”

Jess turned to see Kason holding a wooden spoon out to her with a dollop of sauce on it. He had one hand under the spoon to catch any sauce that might drip. “Guarantee it’s the best sauce you’ve ever tasted.”

Without thinking, Jess took hold of Kason’s wrist on the hand that was holding the spoon and leaned toward him. She opened her mouth and looked up at him just as she closed her lips around the spoon. She almost choked at the heat pouring out of his eyes. She pulled back and licked her lips, letting go of his wrist.

“Good, isn’t it?” Benny asked, not taking his eyes off of Jess’s lips. He took his thumb and wiped the corner of her mouth where some errant sauce lingered. He suppressed his groan as her tongue came out and licked right where he’d just been touching.