Psycho Ex Boyfriend (Standalone New Adult Romance) (The Alpha Brotherhood Book 2) (11 page)

Sabrina

Age 15

My heart drops into my stomach. I guess it wasn’t going as well as I thought it was. “Did I do something wrong?”

“No.” He grins down at me, falling to his knees and cupping my face, kissing my tingling lips. “It’s just…”

“What?”

“This is so fucking ironic,” he laughs. “But it seriously hurt when I came last night.”

My eyes widen. That’s not good. “You need medical attention.”

“You don’t get it. I can’t limp off to some doctor and bitch about a few aches and pains.”

“Aches and pains?” I admonish him. “Adam…”

“No fucking way,” he laughs, wincing as he slumps against the wall. “My reputation took enough of a hit as it is.

“Fuck your reputation!”

“You cannot be serious, Bree,” he replies, looking at me like I’m speaking another language which apparently I am. The language of rationality. “There’s no way that you can understand. And it’s not as if I don’t deserve this.”

“Why the hell would you deserve this?”

“Because I’ve been on the giving end a lot more often than the receiving.”

“What?”

He brings his knees up, resting his arms across them as he stares up at the ceiling. “You say that you love me, but I don’t see how that’s possible because you don’t even know me.”

“Yes, I do,” I protest.

“You know what I want you to know.” Adam snorts out a bitter laugh. “You know a guy who’s so crazy about you that he’s pretending to be good enough to deserve you. But I’m not.”

“You are, though. You’re so sweet, Adam.”

“I’m nice to
you
. I care about
you
. I would do anything for
you.
That’s where it ends. I don’t give a shit about anyone else. I’d slit someone’s throat in a heartbeat if I needed something they had, but that’s usually not the best way to get it.”

“That’s not true and you know it.”

“No, you don’t want it to be true.”

“What about Shane?”

Adam grins and shakes his head. “Shane is a fucking genius. His brain has billions of dollars locked inside of it, but he’d rather tinker with his computer and his toys than capitalize on them. Which means I’ll get to.”

“What about Trent?”

“Trent has more charisma than a baby in a fucking nursing home and understands how to manipulate people better than I do. We make one hell of a team. But I’d push him in front of a bus if he got in my way.”

That is
such
bullshit! Right? “What about…”

“Don’t you dare fucking say her name.” Adam turns his head to glare at me with eyes so dark and empty it makes my blood run cold. “I’m no fucking Simon running around in the forest, searching for peace, just trying to survive. I’m no Piggie.”

“Who are you then?”

“Jack.”

I guess the obsessive, bloodthirsty, manipulative leader is better than that sadist Roger who rammed the stick up that poor pig’s ass, but I wish he’d said Ralph instead. “I can’t be in love with a Jack.”

“Then you can’t be in love with me.”

“
Lord of the Flies
is a book, Adam,” I tell him, reaching forward to put my hand on his arm. He catches me by the wrist suddenly, squeezing so hard my fingers feel swollen. But I’m not going to let him push me away. “It’s a fucking book,” I say defiantly. “One that you
clearly
should not be reading.”

“Why not? I’ve already lived it.”

“Those boys all started blubbering at the end like the little kids that they were.”

“Is that what you want from me? Tears?” he laughs. “Why the fuck should I cry? No kindly naval officer showed up to rescue us, not that I ever needed saving. If I didn’t want to be in that house, I wouldn’t be there. If I didn’t want to be my demented father’s favorite son, I wouldn’t have become him. But it suits me just fine. I was made for this.”

“Let my hand go,” I insist. He hesitates, tightening his grip. “Let me go, Adam.”

His lips curl into a cruel smile. “I will
never
let you go.”

“But you’re hurting me,” I squeal, pulling away.

He blinks rapidly, snapping out of it. “Fuck,” he breathes, loosening his hold on my wrist. Adam brings my hand to his lips, kissing it over and over in a wordless apology. “Sabrina, I…” He stares at me with wild eyes filled with fear and regret.

I slowly pull my hand away from his, backing into the corner and leaving a few feet between us. I’m totally speechless and little sick to my stomach. This guy’s dick was just in my mouth. He’s not just my boyfriend. He’s my best friend. I tell him everything. Well, almost. And I let him do almost anything he wants to me. I trust him.

The gray ceiling of clouds breaks apart, letting the sun shine for the first time in days, filling our little secret haven with soft light. A beam filters through the single tiny window and settles on Adam like a spotlight, illuminating his beautiful golden hair.

I flash back on that chipper little boy that used to dance and perform for all the kids in that home, the one that used to wait for everyone to go to sleep so he could goof off in the hallway. We’ve been sneaking around since the day we met. And no matter what he says, he’s not some character from a book. He’s not a symbol, not an archetype to discuss in a Literature class. People aren’t that simple. They pretend to be, but they never are.

“It’s over, isn’t it?” he says flatly, his voice low and hoarse.

“What’s over?”

“Us.” His quivering lips roll in on themselves as he rubs the back of his neck and looks away.

“No,” I answer without thinking. “No, it’s not over.”

I scoot closer to him as the warning bell rings. Resting my head on his shoulder, I wind my fingers into his. It wouldn’t be right to fault him for being honest and letting me see his dark side. I guess this explains why he doesn’t want to talk about it and I certainly won’t be asking again.

“Will you still come to see me tonight?” he asks, glancing over at me.

My stomach flutters even though I should know better. “What are we going to do?”

“I’d prefer to
not
look like Quasimodo and cum blood when we have sex for the first time, if that’s what you’re asking.”

I can’t help but laugh. “Geez. You really have a way with words, Adam.”

“Why thank you. So you’ll sneak away?”

“My mom is totally checked out right now and Heather is so overwhelmed that she hardly knows what day it is. It shouldn’t be that difficult.”

“Okay.” He shrugs me off and gets up off the floor. “See you then.”

“Hold on a second,” I say, scrambling to get over to him before he gets the door open. “Get over here.”

Adam reluctantly turns around. I sweep a strand of his hair away from his forehead before pulling his face down to mine. He bristles as I kiss the tip of his nose, the pinched skin between his eyebrows, the scabbed over cut on his cheekbone. “Get another cell phone soon, okay? Please.”

Barely smiling, he nods at my request and gives me a quick peck on the cheek before disappearing into the library. I emerge a few moments later, somehow slipping unnoticed into the crowd of students filing out into the hallway.

I don’t have a weekly piano lesson on Monday. I have a weekly therapy appointment with a well-meaning, a little too hip and relatable black woman that specializes in juvenile transracial adoptee counseling. I’ve seen her for years. She’s essentially the only person of color in my supposedly color blind life. She ‘gets it’ or so she says and that’s basically all we talk about. It makes my mother feel better, not me.

Your secret boyfriend’s ass kicking and subsequent creepy confession are totally the kinds of topics that people are supposed to discuss with their therapist. I can’t because my mother gets a full report on my mental wellbeing. I think. I’m certainly not risking it.

Luckily, I don’t have to talk to her unless I want to for fear of me ‘shutting down,’ so it won’t be at all difficult to skip this session. I just have to pretend to be a little bitch, which won’t be much of a stretch considering how much everyone and everything irritated me this weekend. I even snapped at my little sister and refused to play in the snow.

What really makes me feel better is drawing. I used to take art classes in middle school, but those have been deemed as non-essential by my parents now that I’m in a college prep program. Still, I carry a sketch pad and a variety of pens and pencils in my book bag since I prefer doodling to actually having a conversation with anyone.

I’ve been wanting to make something for Adam for a long time now, but I always feel stupid whenever I start. I’ve got an embarrassing page full of hearts and flowers that chain together to form the letter A and S in the center of a larger heart. I finish it today in fifth period and tear it free from the spiral notebook, which makes me cringe because I never rip out pages unless the drawing is really ugly. It’s
so
hard to actually put a crease in it, but I want to fold it into quarters so I can sneak it to Adam in our last period Calculus class, even though Shane’s there.

Thankfully, Shane is completely oblivious to basically everything, so he doesn’t notice when I covertly slide the drawing on Adam’s desk as I walk by. He hides it immediately, doing his best to suppress the goofy grin I know too well as he shakes his head in surprise and frustration.

But he’s not mad at me. Adam will never admit it, but he likes it when I dote on him and do all that clingy girlfriend stuff he claims he doesn’t want. He likes the kisses that only lead to more kisses, he likes the meandering phone calls that go late into the night and steal our sleep, he likes to cuddle, he likes to play fight. He likes all of it just as much as I do. I don’t have to coax it out of some psychopath that’s only pretending to be a good guy so he can get laid.

I get my chance to prove it to him when I show up early at the vacant apartment. Heather is too busy to pretend to give a crap when I told her that I was going out with friends I don’t have and cancelling last minute on my therapist.

To my delight, Adam brought his dog with him today. He’s always saying that he will, but never does. I get the feeling that he’s worried he went a little overboard on the stone hearted confession in the library today and wants to remind me of his softer side. All dogs are crazy about their masters and Betty is no different. They’re so cute together it’s ridiculous.

Adam falls asleep in my arms on the couch with his arms around my waist and his dog at his feet. It gives me a chance to lift up the back of his shirt and get a look at those bruises. Oh, my God. This is so not cool. I’d get up to make him an ice pack, but I don’t want to disturb him. He probably wouldn’t use it anyway. Not to mention that Adam is beyond adorable when he’s sleeping.

********

It’s been ten minutes since the final bell rang and Heather is waiting for me outside. If this teacher doesn’t post our grades pretty soon, I’m totally going to freak out. We took it in first period! Yesterday! It’s an Economics exam, it’s not like there are any essays to read.

I mean, I know I passed. But if I didn’t get an A my father is going to kill me. I studied so hard for this final. Come on!

The lazy instructor emerges from whatever rock she’s been hiding under and nonchalantly tacks the printout to the classroom door. It’s about time!

“I can hear your thoughts,” Adam laughs, sneaking up behind me.

My spine straightens and I don’t answer him. We’re not supposed to talk in school. He reaches around me, dragging his finger down the list and stopping on his name. “98 percent? I should be ashamed of myself.”

“Ian only got a 97,” I whisper.

“I guess that’s my consolation prize,” he grumbles. “Sorry I can’t pick you up so you can see better. Your name is near the top of the list.”

“Hey, I’ve grown an entire inch and a half since the beginning of the year.”

“Have you now?” Adam chuckles. “You sure that inch isn’t made up of your beautiful hair?”

“Shut it.” I exhale in relief as I locate my score. 94. That’s pretty decent, considering I haven’t been trained for this since I was ten like
some
people. Now I just have to get through tomorrow’s exams and I’m done.

“I still expect to see you tomorrow,” Adam says quietly, glancing to the side. “And I want my phone call tonight.”

“I have to study.”

“When do you not have to over prepare for a class?”

“Over prepare?” I scoff. “It’s finals week!” I spin around and shoot him a dirty look.

“Just call me,” he groans, taking a step back from me and turning away.

I call him at 11:30, just to say goodnight. Adam still manages to keep me on the phone for a half an hour.

Sabrina

Age 15

My last set of finals goes well enough, but the day is longer than usual because I’m only taking the tests for second and fourth period which means I don’t get to see Adam at all until he slides between the closing train doors at the last second. After looking around for fellow students that might recognize us, he takes the seat across from me and extends his leg, tapping my toe with his.

Screw this. I am done being paranoid when we’re off school property. Flinging myself across the aisle, I flop down beside him and kiss his cheek a hundred times until he finally stops pretending this is an unwanted assault and kisses me back.

We’ve had to wait two whole weeks for a unit to become vacant again. Apparently, a 0% vacancy rate in an apartment complex of this size indicates that the rents aren’t high enough and Adam is furious that everyone else is dragging their feet about raising them. I personally think he just wants our alone time back. We’ve still been hanging out, yeah, but like normal kids who can just go to the movies and the mall. This will be the first time since Adam got beat up that we’ll be behind closed doors with access to a couch. And a bed.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do with myself now,” I tell him as he slides the key in the lock. “Two whole weeks without any homework.”

“You’ll have to just assign something to yourself to keep busy.”

“I know! I was thinking about ordering a set of teach yourself Spanish CDs. It’s so similar to French that I may as well learn them both at the same time.”

“Holy shit, Sabrina. I was joking,” he laughs.

“Oh.”

“Give yourself a break for once. Just enjoy your winter vacation.”

“That sounds pretty funny coming from
you
,” I tease, poking him in the ribs. “Crap! I’m sorry.”

“I told you. I’m all healed up.” There’s still a lot of yellowish skin where his bruises were, but I don’t call him on it. “And for the record,” he continues, “I fully intend to relax this week.”

“What about next week?”

“Are you crazy? Fourth quarter reports will be out by then.”

“Then stop giving me crap about learning Spanish.”

“I don’t know why I’m discouraging it considering you’ll be adrift in the Caribbean Sea with a dozen cabin boys at your beck and call.”

“Adam… I would never—”

He cuts me off with an unexpected kiss, dipping me down backwards like people do in movies when they dance the Tango. I’m totally off balance, clutching his arms for stability even though I’m certain he won’t let me fall.

“I know you’d never,” he breathes, keeping me in this vulnerable position as his fingers maneuver their way under my blouse and tickle the skin on my back. “But I can’t help it. I’m still jealous.”

“Of what?”

“You, sunbathing in a bikini in front of other guys.”

“You’re the one that bought me that skimpy bikini.”

“Which was probably a mistake,” he says, pulling me upright. “Now I have a perfect mental picture of what you’ll look like. Minus the sun.”

“Are you
sure
you can’t sneak on the ship?” I coo into his ear.

“I wish.”

“Me, too.” My mouth goes dry as we stare into each other’s eyes. I think tonight is the night. There’s no reason it wouldn’t be.

“So…” Adam whispers, giving me a hesitant smile.

“I want to,” I answer, because I don’t need to hear him ask.

“Are you sure?”

“Kind of,” I admit.

“I’m nervous, too, if it makes you feel any better.”

“You are?”

“Of course I am,” he says, pressing his lips to my forehead before pulling me further into his arms, letting me hide my face against his solid chest. His heart is beating so fast.

I stay hidden for a few moments, trying to psych myself up. When I finally get the nerve to pull my face away from the safety of his embrace, I’m greeted with a kiss, just a little one. It heats up quickly from there and our tongues are dancing together, but this time there’s no unspoken limit about when to stop.

I gasp when he lifts me into the air, locking his arms under my rear. I wrap mine around his shoulders, leaning my head back to expose my throat to his lips. Adam walks us to the bedroom, kicking the door open.

I turn my head to the sight of at least a hundred lit candles and can’t help but smile. “How’d you manage that?”

“I have my secrets.” He lowers me onto the soft bed and my head swims. “I stopped short of the quintessential rose petals on the sheets. It seemed cheesy.”

“Yeah, I never understood that. It seems like they’d stick to your skin.”

“Right?”

We laugh nervously together, our fingers linked. Adam’s smile fades into something more serious as his eyes fall to my breasts. My heart is thumping so hard you can see the fabric jumping against my skin. My stomach flutters, but it’s not the normal butterflies that I’m accustomed to. This feels more like getting up to the front of the line for a rollercoaster.

My body slides toward his as he kneels on the bed beside me. Wrapping his hand around the back of my neck, he brushes his mouth across mine softly. My lips quiver against his kiss as my shaking hands reach for the buttons on his shirt.

“Relax,” Adam says, pulling my polo shirt over my head.

“Okay,” I murmur. We’ve done all this stuff a hundred times before, I don’t understand why I’m so freaked out.

“Sabrina,” he whispers soothingly into my ear, dotting kisses down my neck. “Baby, it’s okay. We don’t have to do this.”

“Yeah, we do. I already told you I would.”

“So what?” he laughs, tucking a curl of hair behind my ear. I inhale sharply as Adam’s fingers travel lower, but they stop on my shoulders. “Bree, you’re so tense.” He massages the stiff muscles as he kisses my forehead over and over again. “You have to loosen up.”

“I’m trying.”

“Okay,” he says, letting out a frustrated breath that just makes me more anxious. “It’s been a while since we got to fuck around. Let’s just make out like we always do and see what happens.”

“No, I want to do this.”

“It’s not going to be any fun if you’re terrified. For either of us.”

“Yeah, I guess,” I grumble. I can’t believe I’m messing this up!

“Besides,” Adam says, taking his shirt off. At least I got all the buttons undone. I’m getting pretty good at that part. “Ever heard of foreplay? Sexperts agree. We can’t leave that part out.”

Foreplay. I do hear that word a lot. “That’s a good point,” I say, biting my lip as my eyes indulge in the sight of his torso. I seriously doubt most boys look like this under their clothes.

“God, I love that smile,” Adam exclaims.

“So you won’t be mad if we don’t go all the way tonight?”

“Nope,” he says, deftly undoing the clasp of my bra. He caught onto that quick. “I’ll be happy enough just to get all your clothes off of your body and onto the floor.”

I usually don’t let myself get completely naked because I’m always afraid it will lead to something else, but something else is the point tonight so I don’t stop him when he reaches under my skirt and tugs at my panties.

Our smiles crash into each other as he slides them to my knees. That all-consuming anxiety fades into the background as I kick my underwear off and fumble with his belt buckle. Adam is too preoccupied with my nipples to do it himself.

He groans as I wrap my hand around him, reluctantly tearing himself away from my breast to finish taking his pants off. He’s back on me a heartbeat later, hastily guiding me to lay down. It’s really hot when he gets impatient.

My back arches as his fingers find the source of the throbbing between my legs. I still can’t manage to say the word clit out loud, let alone put in a request for him to pay attention to it, but that never stops me from gasping his name when he plays with me. Heat and electricity spread through my body as I open my legs wider. It feels too good and I start to get lost in it, my grip loosening as my eyes flutter closed.

With a grunt, Adam pushes his hips toward my lazy hand, reminding me that I’m not the only horny one in this bed. I stroke him, glancing downward to see the show. I don’t have anything to compare it to, but I think he has a big dick. It’s difficult to imagine that thing fitting inside me.

Adam’s hungry mouth moves lower, skimming across my ribs, lingering at my navel. He looks up at me, waiting for me to stop him, but I just smile instead, nodding. I have no idea why he’s so eager to eat me out, it seems like it would be sticky and taste horrible. But I’m not a boy, so what do I know? I actually kind of enjoyed giving him a blowjob and I thought that would be gross, too. It probably would have been if he’d finished.

Heat crawls across my face as he hoists my knees over his shoulders. Why does he have to look at me down there first? My stomach flops around nervously as I lay there on display and I have to close my eyes. I jerk when I feel his lips graze my inner thigh, getting closer with every kiss.

My eyes fly open when he finally gets there. Oh, my. Wow. Okay, maybe there’s a valid reason people talk about this so much. Adam moans as he clamps down harder and gently slides one of his fingers inside me. His dark eyes stare up from under his brow, locking with mine as I make an embarrassing sound that I’ve never heard before.

He adds another finger, then another as I skim my nails across the back of his neck, my spine arching automatically. I squirm, my breathing becoming so rapid I’m nearly panting. This is incredible.

Then he stops. I buck my hips forward, whining as he pulls his hand from my groin and slides it around to grab my hip. He rises to his knees and crawls up to kiss me. His mouth tastes different, a little salty. I guess it’s not that bad, but I like the way he tastes on his own a lot better.

My legs spread and I feel empty. And really, really horny. Like, hornier than I thought was possible. I guess that means I’m ready.

Adam lets out a painful groan, keeping his dick at a polite distance that seems completely unnecessary at this point. I kiss his temple as he rests his face against my shoulder, nudging his head with mine.

He pulls back and stares down at me, his eyes asking if it’s okay to keep going. I shake my head yes enthusiastically, putting the biggest smile on his face that I’ve ever seen. I sit up on my elbows, stroking him as he gets a condom open, which just distracts him and makes the whole process take longer.

He falls back on top of me with a kiss. I shudder at the pressure, inhaling raggedly as I hold onto him for dear life. He goes slowly and it only hurts a little bit.

“I love you so fucking much,” he breathes, his eyes rolling back.

“I love you, too,” I tell him, gradually getting used to sensation of him inside me. “It’s all the way in, right? I don’t think any more will fit.”

“It’s in,” he assures me with a kiss.

“So is this it?” I ask. “Did you come yet?”

“No, this definitely isn’t it,” he laughs.

His hips push farther into mine as he groans, snaking his arm under the small of my back. He thrusts again and I gasp. An unfamiliar energy starts at my tailbone and tingles up my spine, covering my skin in goosebumps. My body melts into his, my arms holding on tighter as I finally start to understand what all the fuss is about.

The whole thing takes longer than I’m expecting. Adam’s expressions are fascinating to watch and I can only imagine the faces I’m making that go along with these unexpected moans and groans that I can’t manage to keep inside me.

When we’re finished, he collapses on top of me. I’m surprised to find that I enjoy the crushing sensation. After a few moments rest, he pulls the condom off, tying it in a knot before tossing it onto the floor. He’s back in my arms, his body loose and heavy.

Then he gets cuddly. Extremely, adorably cuddly. He keeps telling me how much he loves me, how much he loved that, asking if I’m alright over and over again like he won’t believe me. Pulling the covers over us, he holds me so close that it’s difficult to breathe. He finally relaxes his grip, nuzzling his face against mine. I’ve never seen him like this. I didn’t know he had it in him to let his guard down. His face even looks different.

We fall asleep, like any two recovering honor student do after finals week. But we’re naked and tangled up in each other’s arms, unlike any future-minded over-achievers should ever be. Good thing we both know how to keep a secret.

Luckily, Adam thought ahead and set an alarm. We jerk awake with just fifteen minutes to get dressed and out the door so we can catch the train in time.

“Do you feel any different?” he asks, offering his arm as we step onto the quiet city street. It’s snowing again.

“Not really,” I answer. Adam sticks out his bottom lip comically, pouting at me. “Why, do you?”

“Yeah, actually. I do.”

“Like how?”

“I don’t know how to explain it,” he says, blushing a little. It’s so cute. “Relaxed, I suppose. A little relieved. Like there’s not something gnawing at my heels, controlling me. And…”