Pulled (3 page)

I left my office at five-thirty completely spent.

Evenings were always the worst. I walked to the parking lot, clicked off the car alarm, and slid into the leather seat of my black two-door sedan.

I drove the short distance to the luxury condo Mom and Erin had found for me. It was nice, but to me it was nothing more than a place to sleep. My head was spinning by the time I pul ed into the underground garage. It had been a long day, and I just wanted to get upstairs and take a shower. I gathered the papers from the passenger seat, shoved them into my bag, and got out. I should have stopped to get something to eat, but I didn’t have the energy. I nodded absently to the elderly couple exiting the elevator as I entered it and pushed the button for the top floor.

I never felt more alone than when I walked into the emptiness of my apartment at the end of the day. I flicked on the light switch, set my things down, and closed the door. The al -too-familiar sadness washed over me, and again I wished I were coming home to my girls instead.

I took a quick shower and went into the kitchen, hoping to find something to eat. I was starving, but al I could find was some stale pizza. I threw it into the microwave, grabbed a beer, and swal owed half of it as I sank into one of the four chairs set around the smal dining table.

It was how I spent every night, utterly fucking alone.

Tonight that loneliness felt unbearable.

I slammed the empty bottle on the table, got up, and strode to my room where I threw on a T-shirt and jeans, then grabbed my keys. Ten minutes later, I stood outside a downtown club, showing my ID to the bouncer.

Stepping inside, I al owed my eyes to adjust to the dim room and flashing lights. The bar was crowded, crawling with col ege students, some trying to converse over the deafening level of music, others with their bodies pressed together on the dance floor.

I found an empty booth in the back, ordered a whiskey, and waited.

It was obvious why I was here. No other twenty-eight-year-old man would be alone in a place like this if he wasn’t.

I sat back, sipping my whiskey while my eyes roamed the hazy room, final y stopping on the blonde watching me from where she sat across the room at the bar. She tipped her beer to her mouth and drained it, before she stood and crossed the room.

It was nearing two in the morning when I turned the lock to my condo.

I went straight for the shower, desperate to wash the night from my body. I lingered under the stream, knowing the second I lay down the memories would take over. When the water grew cold, I gave in to the inevitable. I crawled into the king-size bed Erin had insisted upon—

why, I’l never know—and wrapped myself around a pil ow. I felt the energy surge, and she was there.

I whispered, “I miss you, Melanie,” into the darkness, and I felt a faint tug of the force that bound her to me. I relished in the remnant of her presence before I closed my eyes and gave up the fight for the night.

Heaven. So safe, laying in his arms; never was
there a place I’d rather be, his smell all around me,
soothing me with each breath. I curled closer into him,
sinking my body into his as if we could become one.

I breathed deeper, struck with panic as his scent
began to fade. Frantic I struggled; desperate to lock his
body to mine, but it was no use. He drifted away as fast as
my mind rushed to consciousness.

A sense of dread washed over me as my eyes flickered open. I looked at the bedside table. The red light displayed five forty-three.

“Shit.”

It wasn’t the dreams of him that bothered me; it was waking to the reality that he was no longer mine that nearly destroyed me. I woke every morning with my heart laid bare, wounds torn open, fresh pain oozing from every pore in my body.

I pushed it aside; put back the wal s to shut it al out. I couldn’t al ow myself to feel in front of those who just didn’t understand.

I pul ed the covers back, rubbing my stiff neck.

I pul ed the covers back, rubbing my stiff neck.

Nicholas stil slept, snoring with his back turned toward me.

Sighing, I stood and padded to the bathroom, preparing myself for another day of nothing.

Showered, I went downstairs to start breakfast.

Nicholas would be up soon, and he demanded a hot breakfast before he left. I went to the cupboard, pul ed out the coffee, and started a pot, breathing it in as it began to brew.

I made a quick breakfast, finishing the eggs and placing them on plates just as Nicholas came downstairs.

I handed him his food when he walked into the kitchen and received nothing more than a grunt of recognition as he took it from my hands.

“You’re welcome,” I muttered under my breath.

We ate in silence with me lost in thought and Nicholas buried in the pages of the newspaper.

He finished eating, and I took his plate over to the sink to rinse it and put it in the dishwasher. He put on his jacket, grabbed his briefcase, and strode to the door. He paused and turned to look at me. “I’l be home by six-thirty, so don’t be late with dinner again tonight. And don’t forget about dinner Thursday.”

“Yeah, I remember.”

If only I
could
forget.

There was nothing worse than having your

husband parade you around while you feigned some type of affection for him. The disdain I held for him had to be apparent. This act was getting harder and harder to pul off.

I finished loading the dishwasher and looked around, searching for a job to keep my hands busy while I lost myself in my thoughts. Nicholas didn’t trust housekeepers in his house, so the upkeep was relegated to me. I didn’t mind. If I sat idle, I was certain I would lose my mind.

I worked, scrubbing down the entire kitchen and enjoying the silence of the house when my phone began to vibrate in my pocket. I looked up, realizing two hours had passed. I pul ed out the phone and smiled when I saw the name displayed on the screen.

“Hey, Katie, what’s up?”

We talked several times a week and got together at least once a week, so her early morning cal s were not unexpected.

“Hey, hon. You up for coffee?”

“You have no idea how good that sounds.” I flipped on the faucet, squeezing the sponge under the stream. “Just give me a few minutes to get cleaned up...say...half an hour?”

“Sounds good.”

“Al right. See you soon,” I said before I ended the cal and rushed upstairs to change my clothes.

A half hour later, I pul ed my black four-door sedan into the lot of our favorite coffee house and slid into the first open parking space. Katie stood across the lot waving.

She was a natural blonde with striking blue eyes, but she had to tip the scales. With hair dyed the deepest black and vibrant tattoos on her back and arms, most found her captivating and a little bit intimidating.

Honestly, I’d been surprised by the instant connection we’d made when we first met. She was a blunt woman, and I’d been afraid she would judge me, tel me to grow up and forget about my past, but she never did.

She was just there for me.

“Hey, babe.” She grinned as I approached.

“Hey, how are you?” I asked, not hesitating to reach out and hug my closest friend. She was about an inch shorter than I was, though I had to look up at her with the extra height her boots gave her.

“I’m great.” Her blue eyes danced as she stepped back and took my hand, pul ing me behind her into the shop.

We ordered and found a quiet spot in the back where I sank down into the cushions. I moaned in pleasure as I took the first sip of my mocha latte, al owing its warmth to soothe me.

Katie lounged deep in a plush maroon chair. “So can you believe the bid the guys put in? If they land it, it’l bring in enough money so that Shane wil final y be able to start his own company.”

Shane was almost as miserable with Nicholas as I was. He couldn’t wait to tel his partner goodbye, and I’d been praying for the day when he could final y escape Nicholas’s influence.

It also broke my heart. I knew once Shane split with Nicholas, I’d no longer be al owed to have Katie and Shane in my life, and, once again, I’d lose the only people who meant anything to me.

“Listen,” she said, her voice softening, “I need to talk to you.” I braced myself for what was coming. “Shane and I were talking. When he makes his break, we think you should make one, too.” She looked up at me hesitantly, gauging my reaction. She had been trying to get me to leave Nicholas from the moment we’d met.

“Katie,” I choked out. Did I want to be with Nicholas? No. But I had no other place to go. After I’d left Dal as, my mom and I had never been the same; and there was no way I was going back to Colorado Springs. I hadn’t talked to my dad since I’d first left, and the last I’d heard, the Montgomerys were stil there. “You know I can’t do that.”

“There’s no reason for you to stay with Nicholas.

Look,” she said, shifting to the edge of the chair and inclining her head toward me, “Shane and I want you to come and stay with us...for as long as you need.” She had fire behind her eyes. “You have to get away from that asshole. I’m not going to stand by and watch him tear you down any further.”

“I appreciate it, but I chose this life a long time ago,” I said.
What’s done is done.

“It doesn’t have to be that way. Just let me take care of you, please?” I knew she just wanted me to be happy, but what she didn’t understand was that I would be unhappy wherever I was, with or without Nicholas, and it was just easier to stay. My heart was already dead, so no more damage could be done.

Sighing, I finished my last sip of coffee and

hurried to the door, hoping for a way to escape the conversation.

Katie was right behind me. She grabbed my arm, spinning me around. “I’m serious, Melanie. We’re going to talk about this.”

“Can we just go? Please? We’ve talked about this before, and you need to just drop it, okay?” Pleading, she took my hand, squeezing it, “Shane and I love you. You don’t have to spend your life like this.”

“I know you do, Katie. I love you, too.” I bit my lip where it trembled, refusing to shed the tears gathering in my eyes. “But it doesn’t change anything.” Sadness clouded her face. “Melanie—”

I cut her off. “Listen, I’m going to head home.” The memories were starting to creep in after our talk, and I knew I’d hit my breaking point soon.

“Okay.” She stepped to me, wrapping me in her arms. She hugged me closer, and then whispered against my ear. “I won’t give up on you.”

Wearing old jeans and a thin, white T-shirt, I went through the kitchen and out the back door. The weather was stil warm, and it drew me outside. I moved across the vast lawn to the hedge lining the back of the yard and the flowerbed running along it. Resting on my knees, I began to pul the weeds that had sprouted up between the flowering plants. My hands worked while my mind went back to him, to his beautiful face, to hazel eyes I could never forget. It was as if they watched me across the distance separating us. They haunted me and comforted me at the same time.

“Daniel, I miss you.”