Punked by the Pumpkin: A Cozy Mystery (Sweet Home Mystery Series Book 4) (11 page)

“And then…” Missy teared up as she spoke. “…he couldn’t get his head out again, and he couldn’t find his way home ’cause his eyes and his sniffer were trapped inside the pumpkin.”

“Who’s got a pocket knife?” Eli asked, looking around at the crowd. “I don’t think we can pull this off without hurting Scotty.”

Earle Johnson, the groundskeeper, walked over and handed Eli a large hunting knife. Then he spit some tobacco on the ground behind him.

“Sharp enough to slice open the belly of a deer and rip his guts out before he’s knows they’re gone.”

Wonderful. Earle missed his calling as a poet.

Eli carefully cut the pumpkin starting at Scotty’s neck and slicing up to the middle of the globe. Emery held the muddy pumpkin still and Missy kept her dog calm. Then Eli spread the plastic open and slowly lifted it off Scotty’s head. The hugging and licking fest between Missy and Scotty began instantly.

“Scotty, you stink!” Missy giggled but hugged her filthy pet anyway.

“How much dog food did you put in there, Maxine? “Jules asked.

“Oh, it was more than half of my ten-pound sack. Must have been six or seven pounds I guess.”

There was only a handful of pieces left now, so at least Scotty had something to eat the whole time. But Jules had more questions that needed answering.

“Officer O’Leary, why is he glowing green like that?”

“Well, I’m not really sure…”

Officer Karen Crenshaw stepped out from O’Leary’s shadow. “Foxfire,” she said.

I had heard of it, but I didn’t remember what it was.

“Foxfire?” Jules asked.

“That’s right.” She showed us a small piece of rotting wood with a glowing green moss on it that she had brought from the swamp. “The dog was staying by the swamp because he could probably get a little water into that pumpkin shell when he laid in the shallow water. And there are some dead, moist, rotting trees lying on the ground back there. That’s perfect conditions for growing foxfire, which is a naturally bioluminescent fungus. The soft, decaying trees might have been a nice place for him to rest, and his wet matted fur picked up a lot of the little fungus modules. While we were back there it seemed like he might have been rolling around in the fungus-covered tree trunks, trying to get the pumpkin off, which got a lof the foxfire in his fur.”

Jules nodded. She picked up the pumpkin, which was right next to me, and looked inside.

“Hey, Jules, I got a few pictures for you.”

“Really? Thanks!” Her attention went right back to the pumpkin. “It’s got a battery powered light inside, which was still working when you and Eli and some of the others saw it during the first few days.”

“Yup,” I said, “it was all lit up then when Trevor and Moira saw him too. Then they saw him run into a tree or something, the light went out. Maybe he hit the switch or loosened the battery. The pumpkin looked like it was floating when he was running that way, so he didn’t have any foxfire on the side they could see. He must have been sleeping on his other side that day, so when he ran back the other way, the jack-o-lantern light was out, and they saw his glowing green body but no head.”

“Pretty good story for my little paper. Sounds like another special edition!”

“Just don’t get law enforcement mad at you again.”

“Don’t worry, Lily. I’m going to make them sound like genius detectives and superheroes protecting the community. And then I’m going to syndicate my story to the highest bidding big city newspapers.”

What a week, or had it been two? Who knows..half the seniors in town weren’t talking, a chupacabra prowled and terrified our little city, and – between Bingo, the chupacabra, a dead chicken and a dessert table debacle…What else could happen?

“Aaaaaahhh aaahh aahh aaaahhhhhh!”

Oh, yeah…the ghost baby. Everybody turned toward the old chapel. We all heard it, including the cops. This time it was a much louder sound of a baby crying, and it was coming from the chapel. I wasn’t going crazy before, and neither was Trevor. Then the dim light inside of the little church became much brighter and the shadows of the trees began to sway quickly from left to right, left to right.

The people turned, but they all stayed back. One supernatural creature was enough for one night. But the officers walked slowly toward the chapel door, and I crept gingerly behind Eli. Jules knew no fear and took my hand.

Some of the officers were drawing their weapons, but Eli put a stop to that.

“Holster your weapons, everyone. I think we can handle a baby without firearms.” He stood on the slab of concrete in front of the door with the butterfly ornament to his left and the bumble bee to his right, waving his hands downward for everyone to chill.

I stood in front of him and whispered loudly as another baby whimper was heard through the door. “Eli, there’s a ghost baby in there. Somebody killed him, and his spirit is here!” Sometimes I get a little nuts. Then in full voice I asked, “Where did they bury you, ghost baby?”

The response was quick. A strong, monotone baritone voice answered, “UNDER THE BEEE!” Jules and I jumped!

We all looked at Eli, and even he wasn’t sure what to think. The voice spoke again, this time starting low and raising the pitch a tone or two with each syllable.

“Un-
der
THE
BEE!”

Then it started high and dropped a tone with each syllable.

“
UN
-DER
the
bee.” We looked at the smiling bumblebee, wondering what might lie beneath it.

Eli had a puzzled look on his face and rubbed his chin as he looked over his left shoulder toward the street. The shadows of the trees on the side of the chapel were swaying very slowly now, losing a little speed with each pass. Something seemed to catch Eli’s eye between the trees and fence line by the road. He smiled and chuckled under his breath, then we all got a little nervous as he turned and opened the door.

“Hey, Dad, how’s it going in there?”
“Unnnder the Beeeee, fourteen. Beee, one-four. Not bad. Just practicing for my debut on Tuesday. Miss Pickles, get away from that lantern, darn it. You’re going to burn the place down!”

I walked up to Eli, and he turned and smiled at me. Then he pointed into the trees. As the light of the lantern swung past the middle tree I could see the shiny glint of a shark fin. Harvey’s golf cart was parked there.

Harvey put out the lantern and carried Miss pickles to the doorway. She let out one more bellow that sounded distinctly like a human baby crying. I took a step back, as the darling little kitty had no love for any woman.

“You sound like a pro, Dad.”

“What are all these people and police cars doing here, son?”

“They’re your fans, Pop.”

“Ya, I suppose. I’ll just have to get used to that.”

With the fun and games over for the night, most everybody was heading for home
,
except for Pastor Miranda Cassidy who came out of the shadows and walked toward our group. A golf cart decorated with pink flamingos pulled in through the gate just then too. It was Hildie, but Trevor had driven the cart.

“You’re sounding quite good in there, Harvey!” Miranda held his arm and then rubbed his back with her hand.

Miss Pickles was getting a little frisky in Harvey’s arm with a woman so close, so Harvey handed the cat to Trevor and turned to locked the door.

“Well, I hope I’m ready,” Harvey said, handing her the key. “And thanks for letting me use this place to practice for the past two weeks.”

Miranda smiled adoringly at her bald Bingo caller and held his arm with both of her hands.

“Trevor,” Hildie said, with a glare toward the Pastor and a mischievous smile, “why don’t you let Pastor Cassidy hold Miss Pickles?”

“No, Trev!” That old girl was jealous of the Pastor!

“Hildie, what are you doing here?”

She snapped back to reality now and gave me a powerful hug. “I was worried about you, Lily. Everyone at the coffee shop was getting phone calls and texts about the creature being found at the cemetery, and I knew you would be here with Eli.”

She held on for a long time, and I liked it.

“Pastor,” Harvey said, “In case you’re thinking that I’m available because I’m a widower, I have to tell you that I’m interested in another lady, even though I don’t think she feels the same way about me.”

I saw Hildie smile just a little.

“Oh, no, Harvey,” Miranda patted him on the back one last time. “I’m just very proud of the lamb who will lead my flock on Tuesday nights.”

Then she took a step towards Eli and put her hand on his cheek and looked in his eyes. “But your son here is quite handsome.”

Oh, no you didn’t.
“Give her the cat, Trev.”

Okay, I didn’t say it out loud.

Chapter Ten

“Here’s to 66 more, Harvey!”

Toe raised his beer can and the rest of us all raised our mugs of beer (well, white wine for Jules and cranberry juice for me) and toasted Harvey on his birthday.

The Coffee Cabana was probably empty tonight, because everyone was at Clancy’s Bar to celebrate Harvey’s birthday.

“Happy birthday, Dad.” Eli shook his dad’s hand and gave him a hug.

“Happy birthday, Harvey.” Hildie gave her dear friend a long hug and then actually kissed him on the cheek. I’d never seen her do anything like that before.

“Ooo-eee!” Harvey got red in the face, but obviously enjoyed the rare moment of affection from the woman that he had eyes for. “Are you getting even better looking, Hildie, or did that fancy baking trophy just make you a little bit more confident and attractive.”

The others who were lined up to wish him well had to wait for Harvey to give his favorite girl another hug.

Essie waited for a minute and then stepped in for her turn. “That’s enough, now. You kids are going to burn Clancy’s place down to the ground. Happy birthday, you old goat.”

She was happy to see her sister show a little emotion and gave Hildie a big hug too.

Jules and I walked over to the food table and got some chips and cocktail meatballs. “Halloween tomorrow, Jules. Are you dressing up in a costume for work?”

“Dorothy from the
Wizard of Oz
.”

“You look like Dorothy everyday. All you need are the pigtails. Why don’t you go for something a little more gruesome once in a while?”

“Well, I would have had some chupacabra masks made if I had a little more time.”

“Yeah, but I bet a Harvey Davis mask would have sold even better.”

That got a little chuckle from her. “How about you? What are you going to wear to the Cabana, Lily?”

“I was going to do the sexy vampire again, but Eli said he got a Frankenstein mask, so…”

Jules gasped and smiled. “So you’re going to be the Bride of Frankenstein, and I’m coming over in the morning to do your hair and makeup!”

“I thought it would take a little more coaxing than that.”

“Ha! This will be fun! And I’m going to be a zombie preacher, all ready to perform the ceremony.”

“Let’s not get too carried away now. Besides, you can save yourself an hour of time putting on zombie makeup and just get Toe a white collar.”

“Hahaha! Poor Toe…he’s so pale. You’re just awful, Lily.”

“I try.”

Eli was actually in blue jeans and a plaid shirt today, and he walked up behind me. He put his chin on my shoulder and his arms around my waist. “How’s my girl doing?”

If this were as good as life ever got, I wouldn’t complain. He might not be the most romantic guy in the world by TV and movie standards
,
and he might not say all the words that most women want to hear, but he always makes me feel like we’re a couple. And I always feel loved. Heck, if he would let a chupacabra eat him so I could get away, well…girl can’t ask for much more than that.

*****
 

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You can read my books for free with Kindle Unlimited. These books are all from my Caesars Creek Series

A Frozen Scoop of Murder
(Caesars Creek Mystery Series Book One)

Death by Chocolate Sundae
(Caesars Creek Mystery Series Book Two)

Soft Serve Secrets
(Caesars Creek Mystery Series Book Three)

Ice Cream You Scream
(Caesars Creek Mystery Series Book Four)

Double Dip Dilemma
(Caesars Creek Mystery Series Book Five)

Melted Memories
(Caesars Creek Mystery Series Book Six)

Triple Dip Debacle
(Caesars Creek Mystery Series Book Seven)

Whipped Wedding Woes
(Caesars Creek Mystery Series Book Eight)

And my new mystery series: Sweet Home Mystery Series

Creamed at the Coffee Cabana
(Sweet Home Mystery Series Book One)

A Caffeinated Crunch
(Sweet Home Mystery Series Book Two)

A Frothy Fiasco
(Sweet Home Mystery Series Book Three)