Purgatorium (44 page)

His anger subsides as he continues, “Till your stubbornness wins out. You are a poor man’s beggar and my time would continue to be wasted on a soul like you when there are others out there needing to be saved much more than you do. Because in all honesty, you don’t seem to think you have a soul to be saved. I am done fighting. So you win.”

He stops in front of me, brings his tea cup to his lips, and sips hard, as if trying to annoy me further. Out of anger, I leap towards him. In a micro second, Sealtiel vanishes, leaving me lying on the floor. I turn around to find him standing where he once stood with his tea cup still in hand.

“Tripping over paradise,” he says to me, walking out of the apartment. Thunder crackles outside the window as the door closes behind him.

Reassuring myself, I think,
I don’t need his help anyway! I just need to think of five letters that make up something that I used to desire.

I take a few seconds, calculating my thoughts, trying to think of everything that I have learned thus far about myself. But really the only thing I know about myself is how I feel towards Madi. But Madi only has four letters.

I leave the book at the table and walk to my closet. I put on my suit, jacket, and cross-fit shoes. Looking down at the Jack of hearts card in my handkerchief pocket, I count that JACK only has four letters, not five. I stare at it and think, all it took was one night for my life to end. I feel the flask in my jacket pocket. Taking it out, I watch as the glistening silver shines into my eyes, blinding me as I contemplate how I feel towards it. I put the flask down on my cabinet and walk back out.

I head into the bedroom, hoping to find anything that has five letters in its name. I look over the blueprints. The only letters on it are the ones that were written above the subway train design, which was “The 42:02 problem.”

I walk back to the leaving room and look through the stacks of books. My watch beeps.

I stare at the mirror, watching the hourglass turn over.

5 Minutes

Again, the apartment shakes, but even more violently than earlier. I look outside and see one of the twisters has just passed by. I grab the logbook off the table and walk out the door, closing it behind me. The door across the hall opens and the waitress comes out. I approach her to see if she is okay. She seems sadder than usual. I look at her not knowing if she is here to help me or to use me.

I mouth the words, ‘Did you save me last night?’ She shakes her head no. I bow my head, confused, continuing to wonder of who it actually was. She takes her finger and presses my chin back up. She looks like she is about to say something to me. I immediately look at my
watch
, wanting to stay but knowing I don’t have enough time. I quickly bow my head as an apology and walk away from her.

She looks over at me and seems perplexed as the doors close me in.

She looked as if she wanted to tell me something, I think. As the elevator makes its way down, I wonder who really saved me then, if it wasn’t her?

I turn around to find the painting still hanging there, haunting me to my core. I can almost feel my demon clinging on to me as the canvas suggests.

The elevator stops and the doors slide open into the lobby. I walk out, quickening my pace so Sealtiel won’t get the chance to surprise me.

I race out past the swinging doors of the apartment building as a twister rips through across the street. Trees are ripped up out of the ground, buildings catching on fire, and cars getting sucked up right into the dust storm. When the twister reaches my car, it lifts it up into its funnel. I stand there, letting out a heavy breath.

I rush back against the side of the apartment building for shelter.
What if I just didn’t move?
I wonder. If there really was a God, would he move me away like he might have done last night? Would he tie down my feet, keeping me from being swept away?

I notice
Sealtiel surprisingly
standing to my left. I see a coin necklace around his neck being lifted by the wind. I promptly remember the person who saved me on the rooftop was wearing it too.

Sealtiel watches the twister, looking away from me. I try to grab his necklace while Sealtiel isn’t looking, but he turns to me and I quickly retract my hand. He looks down and picks up something. I look over to see it was is handbook that I threw out.

Suddenly, a spark ignites in my brain! Remembering the logbook in my hand, I set the rotary dial to spell out the five lettered word BIBLE. Nothing clicks open. I put the logbook back in my jacket feeling once again defeated.

“One good thing about this book is that no matter what happens, it will still protect you,” he says. We both watch the twister moving away, ripping trees up and throwing cars around. “People make mistakes. You have made mistakes. That’s not God’s fault, but your own. You choose your own path. You can either listen to the angel on your left shoulder or the demon on your right.” He flips through the book as I wonder why all of the sudden he wants to start preaching towards me.

I look into Sealtiel’s green eyes and see a calm in them. Fearless and strong. Not a worry in the world can break that stone cold gaze he has on me. Why is it always when I see someone wearing that coin necklace that I feel this way? What is its purpose?

I look down to see his playing card is not in his pocket anymore.

He begins again attracting my gaze back to his. “Sometimes it’s easier to choose the dark path—to give up, give in, to lie down and accept what you call fate. You can stand here, let this twister suck you up as the reapers take all your memories away again. Erasing everything back to the way it was. Going about your everyday life without feelings or thoughts of your own. Just living until someone pulls your plug.”

My watch beeps.

10 Minutes

I feel overwhelmed and turn my gaze back to the twister as it moves away.

“There are no more shortcuts. You have to face what you did and learn from it. That is life. That is the path to salvation. Things a father teaches his daughter.”

Daughter? That name sounds so...

I pause for a second, remembering back to my nightmare.

Anna!

I look away, beating myself up for not thinking about my own daughter. I didn’t once ever think about what it would mean for Anna if I didn’t come back. All this time, I said I would be a good father. That I would never leave my child like mine always had done.

I can’t let her down.

I breathe out cold air. Horrified of what’s soon to be coming, I quickly look to my left and
Sealtiel
is gone.

Instead, I see a pink bicycle with a basket.

I look back to the twister and see it now turning into a snow storm. It appears to be the very same storm from my nightmares, I think.

I look at the pink bike, thinking of Anna.

I can’t believe I’m doing this.

I grab the bicycle, sit my butt in the seat, and begin pedaling towards the interstate. As I slowly make my way up the ramp, the snowstorm blurs away any vision I have of what is in front of me. I pedal as hard as I can, looking up to see the twister is about half a mile between me and bumper to bumper traffic. Through the snow haze, I see a glimmer of something shiny. It’s Madi’s license plate tag.

Seeing the car is moving slowly in the traffic gives me the idea to finally see what sort of mementos might be hiding inside.

I put the tape inside my jacket pocket and leap onto the back windshield. I notice that no one is driving. Though it doesn’t surprise me, it still leaves me wishing there was something else in the car that could bring back some memories.

I extend out my leg and swing repeatedly up against the driver’s side window. Snow flurries begin to surround me, letting me know the reapers are getting closer. Madi’s car window starts to freeze over as I swing my leg again. My cleats shoot out from the bottom of my shoe and I slam my foot against the frozen window base, shattering it to pieces.

I slide inside and take the wheel. I glance behind me to see that the twister is getting closer. Looking about, I spot a baby car-seat in the backseat. Anna, I sadly think. Sounds of hard snow beat down around the car. I turn my head back forward and notice big clumps of snow are pounding on the windshield. I begin to have a panic attack, reliving the night of the crash over in my mind.

I look ahead, watching the twister eat up everything in its path.

I can’t believe I’m doing this!

I press hard on the gas, driving straight into the eye of the hurricane.

I feel the car quickly getting sucked up into the air. I swiftly buckle my seat belt.

Sticking my head out of the window, I look down to see that I am close to two miles up above the interstate. The twister eats me up inside of it as I hear the reapers screeching in the distance.

I panic and think,
What do I do?!
I could jump and see how far that gets me? I look down again and see the car has risen up far more from the last time I checked. I bring my head inside just as another car flies over and breaks off my left sideview mirror. I look out and see many flying vehicles colliding with each other like bumper cars.

My back window gets smashed to pieces from an oncoming car. Another car spins madly, shattering my back bumper. I grip the wheel, not knowing what else to do, when all of a sudden Madi’s license plate flings up from behind me and sticks to my inner windshield. I read the tag ‘PETER310’ and try to force it out.

A terrifying explosion happens two feet in front of me. Cars are mysteriously exploding everywhere as I feel the altitude begin to rise even more. I see the clumps of snow have returned and the cold air causes condensation of my breath. The wind twirls my car around, hitting other vehicles in the process. Every impact sends me jerking every other way.

I watch the other cars begin to rapidly freeze over and hit one another, making them suddenly explode around me. The fire from each blast swarms around my car. I watch, getting worried as my engine has just burst into flames. Through the fire, I see a reaper’s hand extend out towards me. My windshield freezes and breaks on the reaper’s impact.

In a flash, I jolt my head back, just barely missing its skeletal fingers. I hear the reaper make its way up to the hood of my car. The hood freezes over as I turn to see the whole twister starting to crystallize itself.

Reapers can harden air into a solid too?Are there no ethical bounds to what reapers can’t freeze over?!

The twister is slowly being hardened by ice, making it seem like one huge cylinder barrel leading all the way to the bottom.

They seriously just froze over a tornado? Really?

The radio cuts on again. “If you can only see what I am seeing right now. I am truly jealous for the fun you are about to have.”

The wind stops and all at once, anything left floating in the air drops, including me. The nose of my car shifts downward. I feel like an astronaut crashing down to earth. The reaper detaches itself from my hood as my car plummets even further down the frozen pipeline. The farther down I go the skinnier the frozen tube gets. The radio is now filled with static.

“I estimate you have at least three miles from the ground floor but don’t worry! You will be glad to know that towards the bottom of the frozen tornado barrel it starts to…” The radio freezes over, leaving me with no clue as to what he was trying to tell me.

I look ahead to see the frozen tube has a narrow curve coming up. The pipeline keeps getting skinnier to where it almost appears as if I am being shot through a cannon pointing downward. I hyperventilate knowing this could be it for me. I stare straight ahead in shock and notice the tube had formed into almost an icy ramp halfway to the bottom. I feel my face freezing over. I grip the emergency break and yank it up.

The wheels are contacting with the corner of the frozen tornado’s icy surface. The tires bounce around making the brake line instantly shatter into pieces. With each attempt the tires make to grip the surface, it slowly reduces the speed of the car. The rubber tears away in a matter of seconds.

I hold my breath as the rims spark up against the icy downward ramp. I watch as the car begins to slowly break apart. Shards of metal and ice fling away from outside the vehicle. The frozen hood of the car breaks apart leaving me with a self-made sunroof. Out of the blue, I feel a decrease in speed, knowing the rims have somehow touched down.

I release the cold air from my breath as the car begins to straighten itself out. I hear the sound of something cracking as I look out to see the icy ramp breaking away. It must be from the weight of the car, I think. I grab hold of the wheel and steer it straight to keep the rims from slipping out from under me. The ramp seems to be heading into a frozen tunnel of some sort. I speed right into it like a shot in the dark.

Through the darkness, I hear a woman say, “What is your desire?”

Scared, I turn my head to the right and see Madi in the passenger seat. I abruptly look in front of me to see that it’s night out and we are in a snowstorm. I am back in control of the newly formed car. I must be hallucinating. This is my nightmare. I look in the back through the rearview mirror and see Anna locked into her car seat, smiling towards me. I lift my hand and move it from side to side. I am in my nightmare but I have control of my body. How is this happening?