Pursuit For Lucidity (Crashing Waves) (34 page)

I wanted to say no
, but I knew I could not drive because I was shaking from fear. I clearly could not look at that man’s face alone, without anyone there with me who knew my story.

“
Fine,” I replied.  “Meet me downstairs.  I have to tell Walter and Laura that I need to leave,” I said.

I let Walter and Laura kno
w that I had an emergency, but would return as soon as it was handled.  I met Alex downstairs by the elevators and we walked to his car as he drove to the police station in Calabasas.  Alex was very quiet on the way to the station.  He probably knew that if he tried to talk about what he wanted to talk about, I would be upset.  I was so nervous, with a million knots tightening inside my stomach.  I hoped this was it, that he was finally captured.  There had been a few false alarms before, but I hoped God had finally answered my prayers this time.

“
It’s going to be okay, Claire.  Don’t worry.  It’s finally going to be over,” Alex assured.

I took a deep breath, “I sure hope so,” I replied.

Alex pulled into the police station parking lot in Calabasas, not too far from my parents’ house.  A receptionist greeted us as we went inside the station.

“
I’m here to see detective Keller.  My name is Claire Morgan,” I said, barely audible.

She led Alex and I to the back where we met detective Keller, “Miss Morgan, I’m almost positive that this is the same jerk who attacked you.  Follow me, please,” he commanded.

He led us into a room I was very familiar with.  There was a large window that we could see through to the other room, but those in the other room could not see us.  There were horizontal lines painted on the wall to see the height of the criminal.  The room was well lit to make it easier to see.  My palms began to sweat and Alex grabbed a hold of both of my shoulders from behind to calm me down.  A tall man walked into the room and was commanded to stand, facing the window.  My heart began to beat very fast.  I took one good look at him and knew it.

“
That’s not him,” I said, very sure of myself.

“
Are you sure?” asked detective Keller.

“
I’m positive.  That is not the man who raped me.  I will never forget his face and unfortunately he’s not the one,” I said, disappointed.

“
He can go,” detective Keller opened the door and asked another man to let him know it was the wrong guy, “I’m sorry, Miss Morgan.  We are really hunting for that prick.  I will let you know if we have any other possible criminals.

“
Thank you,” I said, and walked out of the building, Alex following me.

I broke down in tears once I was outside.  I was extremely disappointed that it wasn’t over.  My nightmares were never going to end and I would forever live in fear.  Alex tried to hold me
, but I pushed him away.  I didn’t want him to take advantage of my weakness and think he could manipulate me into listening to what he wanted to say.  I got into the car and Alex drove us back to work.  He didn’t say much the entire drive to work.  He parked the car in the employee parking lot.

“
Thank you for driving and being there for me,” I said.

“
Anything for you, Claire.  I’m really sorry it turned out to be the wrong guy,” he replied.  I got out of his car and hurried back to work.  Laura was curious about where I was so I just told her I had an emergency near my house, but everything is okay.  She could tell that it wasn’t anything I wanted to talk about, so she didn’t question me.  I received a text from Alex.

It’s going to be ok.  I promise.  I’m here if you need to talk.

Normally, I would respond right away, but I really needed Alex to get the message that I did not need a married man, who I had had sexual relations with, to be my best friend.  I didn’t want to be enemies, but I definitely did not want to be friends.  I had a lot of healing ahead of me.  I was looking forward to the ballet class I had signed up for.  Dancing was the only thing that was going to keep my mind off of the depressing things in my life.

<><><>

Stefano was sitting at the reception area of the dance studio with Julietta standing right next to him, talking about work.  Her face brightened when she saw me.

“
Hello Claire, you look beautiful today,” she said.  That was a compliment from a woman like Julietta who was such a beautiful woman herself.  “Stefano, your fellow Scorpio is here.  Remember I told you that you two are only one day apart?” she asked.  “I will be in my office if anybody needs me,” she said and headed inside the studio.

“
Hey, how are you?” he asked.  “I think my mom really likes you.  Who could blame her?” he added, smiling, revealing his gorgeous dimples.

“
I like her too.  She’s so cute and sweet,” I replied, blushing.

I began heading inside the studio
, but Stefano stopped me, “Claire, you want to grab a bite to eat sometime?” he asked.

“
Oh, uh, I have such a busy schedule with work and here and,” I began.

“
I understand.  Maybe when you’re not so busy,” he replied.

“
Thanks for understanding, Stefano,” I said and hurried inside. Most women would probably throw themselves at Stefano, but I didn’t see him that way. He was my dance instructor.  He was very attractive, edgy, and seemed sweet, but I needed space.  More than anything in the world, I needed time and space so that I could heal.

The ballet class I had signed up for was exactly what I needed.  It helped me relax and forget about what had happened earlier in the day at the police station.  I had even worked up an appetite
, so I grabbed sushi on my way home.  I was able to eat everything I ordered, which made feel like my usual self.  Slowly, I was becoming normal again.  I hoped that in time, I would even be able to sleep in my bed.

I took a much needed bath and headed downstairs to my temporary bed, television, and wine bottle.  I noticed I had a text message from Alex.

Just checking i
n to see how you’re doing.  Worried about you, that’s all. 

I’m good.  Thanks for driving today.  Goodnight. 

I thought about ignoring the text, but did not want to be rude, since I had to face this man on a daily basis at work, so I decided to be short, sweet, but blunt instead.

Anytime.  Sweet dreams.

Of course he had to reply, I thought.  I wished he wouldn’t text me anymore and just concentrate on his wife.  I imagined how awful she would feel if she knew he had been contacting me.  A feeling of depression came over me suddenly.  My heart felt heavy and all those feelings from the day I had opened the door to Angela came back with a vengeance.  I didn’t even open the bottle of wine that night.  I just sobbed myself to sleep and woke up with an incredibly huge headache the following morning.  I took some aspirin and a shower to shake off the headache and wake up.

I realized it was Friday
, but felt absolutely no excitement like I normally would on a Friday.  I had no plans for the weekend and had to drag myself to work.  I didn’t have a dance class on Friday evenings, so I thought about ordering a movie and watching it that night.  I didn’t want to bother Katherine and be the third wheel, since she probably had plans with John.

Kristen sent me a text message shortly after I arrived to work and invited me out with a group of people from the dance studio.  I happily accepted and looked forward to dinner and drinks with Kristen and whoever would be joining us.

Laura noticed I wasn’t having a very good morning, “You okay?” she asked.

“
Yes, just had a hard night, that’s all.  It was one of my bad days yesterday, I guess,” I replied.

“
I’m sorry to hear that.  A delicious lunch is in order then,” she replied, smiling.

“
Sounds good,” I smiled.  I didn’t know what I would do without Laura.  She always knew how to pick me up when I was down.  Work would not be the same without her there to help me through the difficult days.

I had a very light lunch when I went out with Laura in the afternoon
, so that I could have room for dinner with Kristen in the evening.  After work, I drove to the Italian restaurant Kristen had chosen to dine at.  It was called Guiada’s and was located very close to the dance studio.  I parked in front of the valet and left my car with the valet employee.  As I walked inside the restaurant, I noticed it was very trendy with a busy bar filled with young people approximately my age.  Kristen flagged me down and I walked to the table she had reserved.  There were quite a few people, including Mackenzie and Pete that I had already met before I signed up at the studio.

“
Hey, Claire, you know Mackenzie and Pete.  This is Giselle and Kayla, they are in our hip hop class, in case you didn’t remember, since it was only one class.  We are expecting just one more person and then we can order,” she said.  Giselle and Kayla were very friendly girls that I got to know pretty well.

I noticed Kristen flag someone down as she had done to me.  I turned my head to
see Stefano heading our way, “Okay, we can order,” Kristen said.  Stefano came to our table and greeted everyone and took a seat right next to me.

“
Hi, Claire, it’s nice to see you were able to come and join us with your busy schedule,” he said, grinning.  “So, I guess Friday nights are your not so busy nights?” he asked.  I just smiled.  I didn’t respond to his last remark.  Kristen winked at me just then and I knew she had something to do with Stefano’s presence.

I hadn’t mentioned Alex to Kristen
, so she had no idea what I had been going through.  I couldn’t blame her for trying to play matchmaker for Stefano and I.  She was only being a good friend and trying to set me up with a handsome guy who was also an amazing dancer.

We ordered drinks before our food and Stefano made us laugh with
the many jokes he told.  I didn’t order more than one drink, since I had to drive home and did not want to be under the influence.  After dinner, the rest of the group headed to the bar area, leaving Stefano and I alone.  He took advantage of the opportunity and asked me a few questions, “So, what do you do in your spare time?” he asked.

“
I don’t have a lot of spare time to be quite honest.  Between work and now dance, I’m keeping very busy,” I replied.  Stefano asked questions about my work and why I was interested in the medical field and chose to work in a hospital.  I was very surprised to hear that Stefano had his master’s degree in business administration from UCLA.  Julietta wanted him to get a degree to fall back on just in case dancing didn’t pay the bills.  He said his knowledge helped him run the dance studio more effectively.

“
My father died when I was only thirteen, so my mother had to raise me by herself,” he said.

“
I’m very sorry to hear that, Stefano.  She did a wonderful job.  You turned out to be a very smart and supportive son,” I smiled.

“
Thank you,” he blushed.  “You didn’t think I knew anything other than to dance, did you?” he asked.

“
Honestly, no,” I replied.  “I’m glad you made Julietta proud,” I added.

“
So, do you think we can go out sometime?” he asked nervously.

“
We are out, Stefano.  We had dinner and drinks,” I replied.

“
You know what I mean.  Like a date,” he said.

“
Look Stefano, you’re my dance instructor and I’d like to keep it that way.  Dating you would not be smart on my part.  I’m going through something very difficult in my life right now and need to be on my own.  I don’t mind hanging out with you in a group just like tonight, but not a date.  Please respect my wishes and try to understand,” I said.

“
Okay, no pressure, Claire.  I don’t mind hanging out with you and the group.  There’s something about you that really draws me to you, but I will definitely respect your wishes, scouts honor,” he assured, holding up his fingers.  Stefano had a very easygoing personality that I absolutely adored.  He never pushed me when I didn’t want to be pushed.  He always knew his limits and his place.  If I had met Stefano before Alex, things would have been completely different.

I had noticed Stefano
brought a helmet with him inside.  “Is that a motorcycle helmet?” I asked.

“
Yes it is.  Do you like motorcycles?” he asked.

“
Um, not really, I mean, I’ve never been on one.  They kind of scare me,” I confessed.

“
They’re not scary, Claire.  I’m a good rider.  Maybe I can take you for a ride one day,” he said.

“
Uh, I don’t know.  Maybe one day if I’m feeling very adventurous I will give it a try,” I replied.

“
I’d be more than happy if you did,” he said, smiling.

I looked at my watch and realized it had gotten very late.
  I still had quite a drive ahead of me.  I said goodnight to everyone and Stefano walked me out to the valet.  He gently grabbed the valet ticket from my hand and paid for my car, which I thought was a very sweet gesture.