Pushing Reset (11 page)

“I’m ready,” Jude whispered as he sat up. He pulled Brandon to him and felt him trembling as their lips met. Jude guided him back until he was sitting on his heels and Brandon moaned into Jude’s mouth when his hand wrapped around Brandon’s thick length and began to stroke. Brandon’s head fell back as Jude coated him with a generous amount of lube as his hand twisted and slid around Brandon’s throbbing shaft. “Now,” Jude breathed and Brandon nodded drunkenly as his eyes met Jude’s.

“Tell me what to do,” Brandon said softly as his hand glided down Jude’s chest. Jude’s lips clung to Brandon’s a moment longer before he leaned back.

“Just a sec,” he said as he turned and got his knees beneath him. Jude took a deep breath and fought back the rush of nervousness that assaulted him. He shut his eyes and tried to visualize how he’d start with Brandon. “Rub the head against me.” Jude’s voice wavered as lust and anticipation roared through him and he shivered when he felt soft, slick warmth brush against his tender flesh. He felt a gnawing, hungry ache and bit back the urge to tell Brandon to just go for it. “In a minute, you’re going to push into me. I’ll have to push back and it will feel like I won’t let you in. Once I do, don’t go too far, just the tip. And it’s going to feel like I’m strangling the fuck out of your dick,” Jude warned and he felt Brandon tense. He chuckled as he reached back and rubbed Brandon’s thigh reassuringly. “That’s the worst part. After a few moment’s, I’ll relax and it’ll feel like I’m pulling you in. Go slow and just give me a little at a time until I’m used to you,” he said and he heard Brandon exhale loudly behind him. “I promise, you’ll survive,” Jude teased and braced his hands on the bed. “Ok, do it. Just remember to start with the tip and give me a minute.” He felt Brandon’s hand tighten around his ass and there was slight pressure before Brandon groaned in frustration and backed off.

“Are you sure you…” He asked and Jude cut him off.

“Just do it, it’ll be fine!” Jude insisted and Brandon groaned again.

This time the pressure was more definite and Jude concentrated on relaxing and pushing back as the head pressed into the clenching ring of his ass. He ground his teeth and Brandon hissed as Jude clamped tight around him.

“Oh, God!” Brandon gasped and Jude managed to make a soothing sound despite the fierce, burning sting as his body demanded he fight back.

“Just breathe,” he rasped. Jude pulled in a cleansing breath and let it out and bit his lip as the muscles around Brandon relaxed. He heard a soft grunt and Brandon slid forward slightly. Jude squeezed his eyes shut as pressure and pain flooded his groin. “That’s it, just go slowly until I’m used to you,” Jude reminded him.

“Fuck,” Brandon squeaked and Jude could only nod as he waited for the pain to fade. “You’re really tight,” Brandon’s voice was strained and Jude wasn’t sure who was shaking more. He managed a weak laugh.

“Yeah. It’s been a while and there’s a lot of you,” Jude said breathlessly. He assumed that Brandon had to be about half way and he needed to feel less of him. “Ok. Pull back, slowly but not all the way out,” he instructed and he felt Brandon nod. Jude’s body practically melted onto the bed and he sighed as his passage closed behind Brandon’s retreating shaft. The pain all but evaporated as Jude relaxed. He felt the head just inside his opening and Brandon was still. “Again, slowly,” Jude said but Brandon didn’t move.

“Are you sure?” His voice was gravelly and harsh. Jude raised his head and nodded.

“I’m fine, Brandon,” Jude said firmly. He held his breath as Brandon pushed forward and he couldn’t stop another sigh from spilling from his throat as warmth and a heavy, slow pleasure combined with the last traces of pain. “Yeah, it’s much better,” he murmured as his head fell. Oh, it was so, so much better. Jude’s eyelids fell as he savored the swelling pleasure as Brandon slowly pushed forward. He felt Brandon’s thighs press against his ass and he moaned and ground against him. Brandon gasped his name and Jude bit his lip to keep from laughing. “Christ, I’m so full of you and it feels so good,” Jude said as he slid forward. The sound of Brandon filling his lungs flooded the room and a loud moan burst from him when Jude slid back, taking Brandon to the hilt.

“Fuck, Jude!” His hands grabbed and slid over Jude’s back and hips restlessly. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!” Brandon panted as Jude rode his tentative thrusts. “Jude! Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God…” His voice was getting higher as his fingers clawed at Jude.

Jude wanted to say something to calm Brandon down. He could hear the desperation and confusion in Brandon’s voice and knew he was overwhelmed but Jude was struggling too. Brandon’s shaft was pushing against everything within Jude and grinding against his prostate, sending waves of bright, electric pleasure through his limbs. Nothing short of the house collapsing could have stopped Jude’s hips from rocking back and forth as he rode Brandon’s cock. A strangled sob tore from Brandon and his hands locked around Jude’s hips, holding him, immobile and impaled.

“Jude! I’m losing control! I can’t…” He whimpered and Jude ground his jaw to keep from swearing or begging.

“It’s ok,” Jude promised breathlessly. “Let go. I need you to.” He squeezed around Brandon and it was like a dam bursting.

Jude’s name exploded from Brandon’s lips as his hips slammed into Jude’s ass. Jude’s head snapped back as his hands fisted in the comforter and he pulled his lips in to keep from yelling. Brandon’s hands wrapped around Jude’s shoulders and a soft growl rolled from him as his thrusts picked up strength and momentum. Jude dropped his shoulders and shut his eyes as he chanted Brandon’s name and begged for more. A rolling, glowing tide swept through Jude as the reality of Brandon’s body, filling his with frenzied thrusts crashed upon him. Joy and pleasure crested and his eyes burned as tears poured from them. Every part of Jude felt connected to where Brandon’s body merged with his. The tingling, vibrant warmth was in his fingertips, the balls of his feet, the tip of his nose and his elbows. It was everywhere as Brandon became more urgent and almost delirious.

“Oh, God, Jude!” He moaned as his pelvis slapped against Jude’s ass relentlessly. “I can’t… It’s so good.” Brandon’s hands clenched and spasmed around Jude’s body. “Jude, please! I don’t know what to do!” He sounded so distressed and Jude raised his head and tried to shush him. “Jude… I think I should stop. I can’t…” Brandon’s body twitched and writhed as he continued to drive into Jude. He knew Brandon was caught between the overwhelming pressure of the release his body demanded and fear of losing control of his body.

“For the love of God, don’t stop!” Jude commanded as he tightened around Brandon and met his thrusts. “Just let go, let it happen,” Jude urged and Brandon groaned raggedly.

“I’m so close,” Brandon’s breath was hissing in and out and his movements became uncoordinated as his rhythm failed. “I don’t know what to do,” he admitted breathlessly and Jude would have laughed if he wasn’t so close himself.

“Come for me, Brandon,” Jude begged. “I need to feel you coming inside of me,” he said as he tried to ride Brandon harder and faster.

“Ooooooohhhh…” It was a long, deep exhale as Brandon’s nails slid down Jude’s back. “Fuck.” Brandon’s fingers dug into Jude’s hips and he pulled Jude hard against him as he froze. Brandon bucked and Jude’s eyes flared as scalding heat flooded his passage and a wavering moan spilled from Brandon as he convulsed behind Jude. Pressure and pleasure swirled in Jude’s groin as he felt Brandon’s cock throbbing deep in his ass. “Holy shit!” Brandon exclaimed as his hands glided tenderly over Jude’s body. “That was… Holy shit.” He shivered as an aftershock rushed through him and Jude nodded in agreement. Sort of.

“Yeah. That was incredible,” he declared as he looked over his shoulder. “But I’m kind of…” Jude raised his brows and gave Brandon a pointed look. His brows pulled together in confusion before his eyes flared.

“Oh, God! I’m sorry!” He whispered loudly. “What do I do?” Brandon asked and Jude couldn’t help but laugh.

“Help me,” Jude said as he pushed off the bed and leaned back into Brandon’s arms. They wrapped around him and Jude moaned in approval as Brandon’s hands swept over his chest. He grabbed Brandon’s hand and guided it to his straining erection. Brandon’s lips found Jude’s throat as his hand began to stroke and Jude let his head fall back onto Brandon’s shoulder. Brandon’s cock was still hard and hot and deep in Jude’s tight passage and his body became tense and restless. “Oh, God! Don’t stop, please!” Jude begged as his nerves wound tight. “You feel so good. Nothing has ever been this good,” Jude panted as he turned his head, seeking Brandon’s lips. They were soft and cool as they slid against Jude’s.

“I thought I was dying, I didn’t think I could live through something that beautiful, Jude.” The words were sweet steam on Jude’s tongue and his heart hurt, it felt so large in his chest as joy swelled within him. Brandon’s strokes were steady as his other hand worshipped Jude’s chest. Brandon’s tongue slipped between Jude’s lips and thrust against Jude’s in time with the stroking of his hand and Jude groaned as his sack pulled tight and pressure surged into the base of his cock. His nerves flickered then contracted and for a moment, Jude felt nothing. His body was gone and his heart stopped beating and Jude blinked before pleasure, heat and lightning slammed into him as his nerves shattered. He screamed into Brandon’s mouth and hung onto Brandon’s arms as his body flew apart. Jude arched and shook as waves of excruciatingly sublime sensation washed through him. By the time he regained control of his muscles, Jude felt completely drained and lightheaded. His lips clung to Brandon’s as a weak laugh bubbled in his throat.

“Wooow…” Jude sighed then fell forward onto the bed. A second later, Brandon crashed onto the pillow next to him.

“Right?” He murmured as he pulled Jude against him and buried his face into the corner of Jude’s neck. “I had no idea sex could be so…” Brandon giggled and Jude felt another burst of joy fill him and his lips curved into a wide grin.

“Amazing?” Jude offered and Brandon shook his head.

“More like life altering. I was terrified for a while, then it became amazing. Then it went so far beyond that. That was like my soul exploded,” Brandon explained. If he had been with anyone else, Jude would have rolled his eyes and snorted but not this time, with Brandon. He could only hum in agreement as he pulled Brandon closer.

“That was definitely a life altering soul explosion,” Jude mumbled as his eyes became heavy. Brandon’s hands caressed Jude’s back reverently and Jude sighed again as his limbs turned to lead. He grinned as he felt Brandon’s lips brush his skin and he growled softly.

“Can we do that again?” Brandon asked and Jude chuckled.

“We will definitely do that again,” he mumbled and his eyes flared as Brandon rolled him onto his back and rose over him.

“Like, now?” Brandon asked as his lips pecked at Jude’s. He shook his head and tried to roll away.

“No.” He said firmly. “I’ll need at least a few hours, maybe a full day,” Jude declared and Brandon collapsed on top of him with a frustrated groan. Jude grunted as the air was forced from his lungs. “I need to see how much damage we did. I might be too sore to even think about it tomorrow,” he explained and he could feel Brandon pouting.

“I don’t think I can make it through a day,” Brandon complained and this time Jude did roll his eyes and snort.

“Sure you can. We can find ways to distract you.” Jude gasped in relief when Brandon pushed off the bed and hovered over him.

“Will you fuck me?” Brandon asked excitedly and Jude managed to keep his lips straight as he sighed in mock exasperation.

“Yes, I’ll fuck you,” he said and Brandon’s lips dropped to Jude’s.

“Like, now?” He asked and Jude scowled.

“No. What’s wrong with you? We just got done and we aren’t twenty-five year olds,” Jude grumbled and Brandon moaned as he flopped onto the bed next to Jude.

“You keep making me wait and I feel like I’ve waited my whole life for this,” Brandon complained and peace and giddy delight bubbled within Jude as he rolled toward Brandon and found his lips.

“I’ve been waiting my whole life for you. I just want to get everything right and enjoy every moment. You only get one first time, Brandon,” he said softly and there was a flutter in his stomach when Brandon smiled and pressed his lips to Jude’s.

“I guess I’ll have to trust you,” he teased as he nibbled on Jude’s lips. “Although it’s not your first time,” Brandon argued and Jude hummed happily as he wrapped a leg around Brandon’s hip.

“Sure it is,” he whispered drowsily. “Somehow, everything feels like the first time with you,” Jude said before he shut his eyes and let himself drift off.

Chapter 26

The one real downside to Jude and Brandon’s new relationship was its effect on Jude’s ability to work. He frowned as he stared at the piano’s keys then looked at the sheet in front of him. He hadn’t written anything for days.

“It isn’t going to write itself.”

Jude jumped and turned to find Brandon standing behind him. He offered a teasing grin as he sat on the bench next to Jude with his back to the piano.

“Yeah. Well, my mind is a bit preoccupied,” Jude admitted as he nudged Brandon with his elbow. Brandon nodded and offered a sheepish grin.

“Mine too. I just got off the phone with my stockbroker and I have no idea what I agreed to,” Brandon said and Jude laughed.

“Good thing I’ve got the beach house, then,” Jude said and his eyes flared when Brandon leaned close. His lips brushed against Jude’s and clung. “Mrs. Kelly,” Jude warned and Brandon’s lips slid along Jude’s as he shook his head.

“I shut the door and she’s running errands,” Brandon murmured as his hand wrapped around Jude’s neck. “I’d see if you want to go upstairs but I don’t know how long she’s going to be gone.” He sighed as his tongue slid along Jude’s lips. Jude’s lips curved as he leaned into Brandon. He might have created a monster.

“You’re just going to have to wait for tonight,” he teased and Brandon groaned.

“This is going to be the longest day,” he complained and Jude chuckled. Brandon’s hand glided down Jude’s chest and slid around his waist. “How do you feel?” Brandon asked and Jude’s eyes flicked to the ceiling as he considered.

“I’m a little sore but nothing major. I might have to sneak in a quick nap, though. You didn’t let me get much sleep,” Jude said and Brandon nodded.

“Make sure you do. I don’t think I’m going to let you get much tonight and I want you to have plenty of energy when you fuck me,” he whispered and Jude’s stomach flipped and it felt like he’d swallowed a swarm of butterflies.

“We don’t have to do that tonight. We could do other things or you could fuck me until you’re ready,” he offered and Brandon shook his head.

“I’m ready, Jude,” he said as his eyes poured into Jude’s. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. I woke up this morning and I was so turned on thinking about you coming inside of me, I jerked off and came so hard, I almost passed out,” Brandon explained and Jude’s heart started to race as his mind went blank.

“Ok,” he whispered as he nodded his head.

“I don’t want to wait anymore. I love everything we’ve done and I know this is going to be good. You make everything perfect,” Brandon said and Jude’s nerves flickered anxiously.

“Ok.” He was glad his voice didn’t crack. Brandon pressed a quick kiss to his lips.

“I’ll let you get back to work. If you need me, or you’re in the mood for a quick blow job, you know where to find me,” he winked and stood up. Jude looked up and nodded.

“Ok,” he whispered and his eyes followed Brandon as he left the room.

As soon as Brandon was gone, Jude rested his elbows on the piano and fisted his hands in his hair as he groaned. He’d avoided thinking about fucking Brandon since everything began. Now that it was about to happen, his nerves were out of control and thanks to Brandon’s comment about Jude making it perfect, he was feeling a tremendous amount of pressure. All of his life, Jude had only ever wished for one thing. Now, it was his reality. The going slow and waiting for test results had been as much for Jude as it had been to let Brandon ease into gay sex. He’d needed to get his head around the idea that he was actually sleeping with the one man he’d lusted after and been in love with since he first realized boys made his pee pee feel funny. Jude snorted. There wasn’t a lot of sleeping involved.

And what happened afterwords? Assuming everything went perfectly, what was left? He had two Grammy’s, more money than he’d ever be able to spend, he already had a beautiful family with Brandon and Noah and now he had the relationship he’d always imagined was beyond his reach. Once he fucked Brandon, he’d be all out of dreams. If it didn’t go well, Jude would probably end up bottoming a lot until Brandon was ready to try again and eventually, it would be perfect.

How long would perfect last? Part of Jude hoped that Brandon didn’t enjoy it and that there would be some tension between them. He didn’t trust things that were too easy or too perfect. If he fucked Brandon and he loved it, they might blissfully settle into happily ever after and something would blindside them.

What the hell is wrong with you? If there’s anyone that deserves happily ever after, it’s you and Brandon. You both paid your dues,
he decided and nodded firmly as he stood up.
You have to stop freaking out about this. If there’s one thing you’re good at, it’s fucking. You’ve loved him your whole life and now you get to put all that practice to good use. You’re going to fuck him so thoroughly, he won’t be able to sit for a week without it hurting and giving him a hard-on,
Jude promised as he strode from the room. And y
ou’re going to take a big ass nap until it’s time to pick up Noah. After you follow up on that blow job Brandon mentioned.