Questing Sucks (Book 1) (46 page)

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Authors: Kevin Weinberg

Tags: #Fantasy

BOOK: Questing Sucks (Book 1)
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“I’m so confused,” Nero said. “Did you want to blow up the building? I mean, did you do it on purpose?”

“No! I just wanted to play with the fireworks.”

Nero’s cheeks puffed and he stiffened, in what Sehn knew was his attempt at making himself look older. He only ended up looking more childish. “Well, that’s why you’re not supposed to light fireworks indoors.”

As much as it grated Sehn, he had to admit Nero was right. Lighting them inside was a bad idea. “Fuck!” Sehn shouted, kicking a nearby stone. “I always forget that actions have consequences! It’s bullshit!”

They turned the corner at the end of the street, onto a hilled section rising out of sight. “Here’s what we’ll do, we’ll—”

“Sehn!” Cah’lia shouted, running side-by-side with Rina and his foolish little sister. “There you are. We’ve been looking all over for you.”

“Of course you have. My greatness is not so easily parted from.”

Cah’lia ran past Sehn, observing the flames in the distance. “Don't even tell me. You did that, didn’t you?”

“Who, Me? No way. Nero might have, though.”

Nero’s crying started immediately. Tears fell from his face even before Sehn finished his sentence. “Na-uh! It wasn’t, Cah’lia, I swear it. I swear it!”

Cah’lia rubbed her eyes, moaning. “I don’t even care about that right now.”

“You don’t?” Sehn asked. “This isn’t some kind of trap, is it?”

“No, it’s not. Listen carefully, because this is important. We need to leave the city
right now
.”

Sehn and Nero whined at the same time. “But we just got here!”

Shina stepped in front of Cah’lia, crossing her arms and glaring at Sehn defiantly. “Don’t be an idiot, Sehn. We’re leaving, and we’re leaving now.”

“And since when do I take orders from my little sister? Be gone from my sight at once, A.F!” Sehn knew he was pushing his luck, but he didn’t care. The stupid Elven girl would not disrespect him in front of Nero.

Shina’s face exploded in anger. She made a high-pitched wail, resembling a whistling hiss. “C-Cah’lia, I’m going to kill him!”

“Why? What just happened?” she asked.

Shina pointed a finger at Sehn. “He just called me an A.F! He knows I hate that—I’ve hated that since I was a little girl.”

“A.F?” Rina asked.

Sehn laughed. “It means Ass-Face.”

“I am not an Ass-Face!” Shina screeched, sparks dancing over her body. She swung her arm outward, and a bolt of lightning left her fingertips, soaring towards Sehn.

How dare she attack me!
Sehn thought, ducking under the lightning bolt. It crashed into an unoccupied horse-drawn carriage, exploding it into several pieces with a resounding boom. Wood turned into chips, sprinkling around the floor, which was now covered in spilled hay from the carriages inner storage compartments. The front door to a nearby home was thrown open, and an elderly man with a beige sun protector gaped in confusion, shouting out demands to know who’d destroyed his vehicle.

Cah’lia grabbed Sehn by the arm, and tugged on him. “Enough! We’re leaving right now, and don't think I won't drag you out of the city if I have to, because I will.”

Sehn wrinkled his nose at her, but followed along. Who did Cah’lia think she was, anyway? Sehn would go with her for the time being, if only to stop her annoying complaining, but later, Sehn would have his revenge for her insolence.

Wolly awaited them at the top of the hill, sweating and carrying his shotgun in both hands. “Old Wolly didn’t want to be
go’in
down the hill with ye. Not if he’d only be
hav’in
to go back up, ye see?”

Sehn ignored the lazy dwarf, looking around at his traveling companions, trying to figure out what all the rushing was about. He looked at Shina and Cah’lia, neither of them showing any sign they were bothered by his menacing gaze. Then, he looked down at Nero, and the little Elf shrugged, as if to say he didn’t understand any of it either. Finally, Sehn looked at Rina, and the girl averted her eyes immediately.

“Rina,” Sehn whispered. “I am your God-Commander, lord of all things perfect and good-tasting. Tell me what has happened? Why are we being forced to leave so soon?”

Rina blushed, turning to face away. “Rina knows nothing,” she said. “Sehn is being foolish.”

Sehn inhaled, grabbing Rina’s shoulders and turning the small Human to face him. “Do not lie to me, Rina, I can tell when a mortal is fibbing. It is power number seven on Sehn’s top fifty God-Powers. I demand you tell me what’s going on at once!”

Cah’lia leaped in-between them, pushing Sehn away. “You’ll know when I want you to know, Sehn. Now, hurry up and keep moving. I want us out of the city by nightfall. We’re traveling through the night without stopping, too. Let’s go.”

“And if I choose not to? I am getting fed up with you constantly telling me what to do, woman. I demand a letter of apology and three of your teeth—preferably the ones you chew with the most.”

Cah’lia rolled up the sleeve of her right arm, and Sehn gulped. Not that he was afraid of Cah’lia, or anything. He wasn’t! He let out a mighty laugh. “Fine, fine,” he said. “I shall travel with you, but only because I am bored, and this foolish city has become an eyesore.”

Cah’lia looked towards the darkening sky, the light growing orange in color and washing over the nearby rooftops. She tensed. “We really do need to hurry. Come on, everyone, we’re going to run for it.”

Shina, Rina, and Nero, all nodded. Sehn stared at them, baffled. “Run? Why must we run?”

Shina elbowed Sehn in the ribs, causing him to grunt. He’d pay her back for that later, too. He shot Nero an expecting look, and the boy nodded, removing a small piece of paper and scribbling down Shina's crime so she could be prosecuted for it later. The book was growing each day.

“Because, you idiot, Cah’lia said so.” Shina grinned and about-faced.

“Old Wolly be
agree’in
with Sehn,” the dwarf said. “I don’t be
like'in
to go
runn’in
, and I do wish to continue
travel’in
with ye.”

Shina gave the dwarf a pat on the shoulder. “Don’t worry, it’s just until we get to the horses. It’s not far.”

“If ye be
say’in
so, but Old Wolly feels like a
Buutsy
during a
Shnootzle
festival.”

When Sehn noticed the blank expressions on everyone’s faces, he tilted back his head and roared with laughter. “Hah! The Great Sehn understands your reference, Wolly.”

“Sehn is lying,” Rina said. “He does not get the joke.”

“Yeah,” Shina agreed. “My brother doesn't understand humor.”

Sehn growled with such ferocity that spit squeezed through his teeth and fell to the floor. “Rina! You dare challenge the Great Sehn to a joke understanding war? I shall understand the fuck out of all of your jokes!”

Cah’lia tugged on her hair, and Sehn couldn’t help but notice how beautiful she was when she became angry. The servants braided her hair when they believed her to be Saerina, and now it became undone, returning to its normal rough look. Cah’lia always had a ferocity about her, even despite her kindness. She grabbed the front of Sehn’s tunic, and narrowed her eyes on him. In a humiliating moment of realization, Sehn knew he wouldn’t be able to go against her.

“Are you ready to go, Sehn?” she asked. Her voice was a whisper, but deep, and seductive.

“Y-Yes,” he croaked. She smiled. It was cocky, lopsided grin. She released him, and gave him a pat on the rump of all things. Even Wolly gasped at the show of disrespect.

She’ll pay for that! I swear it!

Cah’lia sprinted into the fading light, and the rest of them followed.

Chapter 44: To Die For

 

The thunderous marching of soldiers echoed behind him. Daniel could see the fright on every face, yet, it was only a small part of their expressions. By now, every Kingdom soldier knew of the man with the hawk mask, the man crushing villages, slaughtering homes and murdering children. They were ready to fight—they were ready to kill. Onward they marched to Hahl. They’d arrive shortly before nightfall, with the invading army expected to attack the following morning.

Six thousand: that was how many he’d been able to round up. With any luck, the Elven prince would bring another thousand, and if Kellar and Rillith were making out all right, perhaps another thousand on top of that. Even still, if the reports were accurate, they’d still be outnumbered two to one. Hahl was going to fall. There was no longer any doubting it.

Even knowing how vastly outnumbered the Kingdom forces were, Daniel still felt inspired by the sight of so many Kingdom men marching to protect their people. Every last one of them wore silver armor, with the insignia of the lightning bolt embroidered into the chest.

Daniel didn’t think he’d survive the coming battle. It was unrealistic, it was too much to expect. The only thing he hoped for was a quick death—he’d seen firsthand what the hawk’s army was capable of. Those creatures…those sad excuses for Human beings, taking lives without reason, burning homes without purpose.

He made sure to enjoy the march back to Hahl. The Valley of Hahl truly was among the most beautiful places in the world. He took in the snow-topped mountain to his left. It extended high into the sky, with a giant waterfall running down from its peak, cascading into a river that ran to within yards of Daniel’s feet, a wonder for all to see.

He loved his world. He loved his home. And he loved his people.

I don’t want to die,
he thought.
Not until I’ve gotten revenge on Sehn for setting me on fire!

Although Sehn had often made his life miserable, Daniel still liked the crazy Elf. He’d never forget the day they went hunting outside of Elvar, and Daniel fell off of a rocky cliff. He’d had too much to drink, and he stumbled off the narrow ledge. Sehn jumped after him, grabbing him by the foot in one hand, and the rocky ledge in the other. Of course, Sehn claimed he only saved his life so “he could worship him later,” but that was just how Sehn was.

“Are you nervous?” lieutenant Lira asked. She was a powerful woman, a fierce warrior, and a better friend. Daniel was overjoyed to learn she’d been stationed at a garrison near Hahl. That was, until he remembered the fate she’d more than likely share with him.

“Of course I’m nervous. Gods, I don’t want to die yet. I’m twenty-three, haven’t even found a woman yet.”

Lina nudged him playfully on the shoulder. It was painful. Lira often forgot that when covered in armor, her fists were like anvils. “You always were the charming type, Daniel. I was quite jealous when you were the one picked for the ‘special mission’ with our very own Prince Patrick. Still won’t tell me what that was all about? Somehow I have a feeling it’s tied to our present situation.”

Daniel sighed. “I might tell you sometime, Lira, I just might. Though, I have a feeling you’re about to find out soon enough anyway. I don’t think Patrick will send you to die without at least telling you why.”

There were only a thousand cavalry among them, as expected. Defenders had little need of horse-mounted solders. Archers were key to a successful defense. There were four-thousand troops, marching steadfast with crossbows and longbows in hand. They kicked up dirt as they marched in unison, leaving holes where grass used to thrive. Four thousand archers, one thousand cavalry, and one thousand swordsmen—Daniel repeated the numbers in his mind. He’d be leading a battalion of close to a thousand men, hopefully a healthy mixture of each.

It was hard to believe they were so outnumbered. Daniel had to squint just to see the end of the formation, and even then he could barely make it out. There were so many of them, more than half of them only eighteen years of age or younger.

Please, Sehn,
Daniel thought.
This is all for you. My life, their life, Lira’s life, please don’t let us down.

“Hey, Lira,” Daniel said.

“Yeah?”

“If we make it out of this, do you think…do you think we could grab a drink sometime?”

Lira laughed, and grabbed Daniel by the forehead. For such a petite woman she was massively powerful. She pulled him in and kissed him on the cheek. “If we live through this one,” she whispered. “We’ll do far more than that.”

Daniel felt his blood boil. “Let’s hope we make it out alive, then,” He ordered the men to speed up and, together, as one army, they marched to Hahl.

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