Read Questing Sucks (Book 1) Online

Authors: Kevin Weinberg

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Questing Sucks (Book 1) (8 page)

BOOK: Questing Sucks (Book 1)
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Daniel squatted next to Sehn, all anger and hatred removed from his eyes. What resided there now was a bitter sadness.

“Sehn, do you remember your promise? That no matter what happened we’d avoid trouble and keep on moving? Now more than ever you need to keep it.”

“What are those fools doing to that woman?” Sehn asked. “Why is she being tossed around in a sack?”

Daniel sighed. “I might as well tell you, because you’re about to find out, anyway. They’re going to rape her and then hang her. It’s common practice among bandits. Just lay low, and they’ll be gone before you know it. Don’t make any attempt to help her, or you may just get us all killed.”

Sehn’s expression remained blank, giving off no trace of emotion. “Help her? And why would you worry about me doing something like that? Her life means nothing to me. The Great Sehn does not worry about the strife of others.” Sehn’s ears twitched as he spoke, which Cah’lia knew was a bad sign.

Doubt, uncertainty, and confusion—none of these things registered at that moment in Cah’lia’s mind. She knew as sure as the sun rises and again sets that there was going to be a fight.

“Good, Sehn. Now, let’s return to our horses. I despise what is being done here, but there are ten armed men and we number but five. And like you said, the last thing we need is people thinking you’re some kind of hero, right?”

Sehn nodded.

The woman screamed, cried, and flailed her arms and legs as the ten men pushed, prodded, and passed her around like a tray of food, their eyes glowing with deviant lust. They were a hairy bunch, and the whole of them appeared unwashed and messy.

 
The woman shrieked as they dropped the sack to the ground with her still inside. She screamed, and they kicked her, punched her, and grabbed at her hair. Cah’lia noticed Sehn watch all of this without so much as blinking an eye.

But his ears did twitch, Cah’lia reminded herself. This won’t be good.

Patrick tried to get Sehn to leave, but each time he placed a hand on his shoulder, Sehn shrugged him off.

“Sehn,” Patrick said, “do you really want to see this? What if we’re spotted? Let’s just return to our horses until these men leave.”

Patrick said something else, but his words were drowned out by the woman’s screams. What these men were doing was disgusting, and Cah’lia could barely contain her emotions. Never once in her life had she been so revolted, so angry, so willing to shed blood. Cah’lia couldn’t bear to take any more of this, and from the looks of things, neither could Sehn. She had to do something, but she couldn’t act alone. She decided to give Sehn an easy way out of his twisted ego.

“Sehn, is it just me, or does that woman appear to be carrying a diamond bracelet?”

There was no such bracelet. She just needed to give him a way around his ridiculous mental hang-ups.

Sehn’s eyes widened, and his hands gripped into fists. “Yes, I see it now, Cah’lia. It’s no wonder those fools are after her. All stolen property falls into the sole dominion of Sehn! I shall rob that woman blind and delight in her suffering. Let’s go!”

Patrick, Daniel, and Rillith tried desperately to halt Cah’lia and Sehn. Rillith grabbed a hold of Sehn’s tunic, but Sehn brushed him off. Together, Cah’lia and Sehn charged out of their hiding place behind the boulders and sprinted, in plain sight, at the ten bandits torturing the poor woman.

It didn’t take long for them to be spotted. The men released the woman and turned to the two Elves rushing at them.

“Halt, you two!” the leader cried out. “This is Raven Corps territory now. Be gone from here at once!”

Cah’lia heard Sehn chant under his breath. It wasn’t his usual, arrogant sound, either. It was a low, mumbling growl of disbelief as he focused intently on the beaten state of the woman.


Remmos Salas!”


Remmos Salas!”

The men looked on in disbelief as a volley of fireballs struck six of them, causing them to roll on the ground, crying out in pain. The other four drew their weapons and met Cah’lia’s charge head on.

“Lookie here!” one of them shouted. “We gots us another pretty to play with. Elven, too.”

Cah’lia grinned. They had no idea what she was capable of.

The first man to reach Cah’lia attempted to decapitate her. Moving with a grace that only a dagger and training allowed, she ducked and spun, twirling around like an Elven dancer, and then sliced the man across the stomach. He coughed as he dropped to the floor.

Three more came upon her, each determined to end her life. They surrounded her, two using great-swords, and one wielding battle-axe. They lunged at her, eyes widening in surprise as she nimbly avoided each attack.

They swung, and she ducked; they aimed at her feet, and she hopped over their weapons. One tried to run her through, but she sidestepped and, with a flick of her wrist, slit the man’s throat.

The man who had aimed for her feet prepared himself for another attack. Carrying the massive battle-axe slowed his movement to almost a crawl. But her real threat was the other man. He tried yet again to run her through, learning nothing from his companion’s demise.

She kicked at the bandit’s stomach, causing him to bend over in pain. While he was leaned over, she leaped at him, placing her two hands on his shoulder and pushing off into a flip. She landed on the axe-wielder behind him, plunging her dagger deep into his chest.

Recovering from the kick, the first man looked at her and trembled in terror. He dropped his sword in a gesture of surrender. He backed up slowly to join his six living companions rolling on the ground in a desperate attempt to put out the fire that Sehn had brought on them.

It was at this point that Patrick, Rillith, and Daniel caught up to them. They gawked at the victory. Patrick gasped at the sight of the dead and wounded bandits.

“I can’t believe you two just did that,” Daniel said.

Sehn let out a mighty laugh. “Hahahah! Do not be surprised. My only regret is that my fireballs did not kill any of them.”

Patrick nodded. “A problem we can easily fix. Under our Kingdom’s law, these men have committed a serious crime. I’ll personally see to their execution.”

Before either Sehn or Cah’lia could utter a word in protest, Patrick walked up to the first of the burned men lying injured on the ground. He unsheathed his sword and plunged it into the man’s chest. Other than a barely audible cough, followed by a gurgle of blood from his lips, the man died without a sound.

“Cah’lia,” Sehn asked. “Did that just happen?”

Cah’lia struggled to prevent tears from forming in her eyes. Sehn wasn’t ready for this yet. His father had kept him from the darker side of the world.

“They’re rapists and thieves,” Patrick said. “All law abiding, Kingdom-born Humans have a responsibility to execute people like this for their crimes.”

One of the men pushed himself up on his knees and folded his hands over his chest. “Please be
sparin
’ me, good sir. I begs you. I don’t want to die.”

Patrick looked down at the man in disgust and raised his blade. “Save your tears for those who would care to hear them. Your time in this world ends now, scum. Prepare to—”

“Patrick!” Sehn thundered. “Cease this at once!”

Patrick, only moments from executing the begging man, turned to look at Sehn, confusion on his face for the briefest of moments. Then, as if remembering whom he was dealing with, he smiled.

“Don’t worry, Sehn. I’m making this quick and painless.”

In the blink of an eye, Sehn crossed the distance between the bandit and Patrick. He grabbed Patrick’s sword arm, causing both Rillith and Daniel to snap their heads to Sehn. Patrick gave them a nod, and they stood down.

“Sehn, what is the problem here?”

“Are you a fool, Patrick? If you execute these men, then how will they spread the name of the man that defeated them? Don’t get me wrong—the Great Sehn intends to murder many, many people. But first, I must ensure my name inspires fear and hatred throughout the land.”

Patrick reluctantly sheathed his sword and turned away. “Have it your way, Sehn, but just this once. Next time, they die by my blade.”

The remaining men carried away their comrades and abandoned the scene with a renewed vigor, thankful to still possess their lives.

Cah’lia rushed to the fallen woman. She was injured and in critical condition, but Cah’lia was certain she could patch the Human woman up. She would be able to save her life.

“Sehn, I think I can save her. In fact, I’m certain of it.”

“Bah! Just take her valuables and leave her. Oh, and if she starts to die come and find me so I can return and laugh in her face. Too bad those bandits threatened us, I was looking forward to betraying you and joining them instead.”

Sehn about-faced and marched away. Sehn’s comments did not bother her. In fact, Cah’lia had expected something along those lines. Now that the woman’s life was no longer in danger, she expected nothing less of Sehn.

The woman looked up into the eyes of her savior. “Thank you. They took me from my family, and I thought this was the end.”

“Don’t speak,” Cah’lia said. “Just rest. I’ll have the men bring you food and water.”

She returned to the camp to find Sehn chatting excitingly with Nero. The little boy was jumping up and down, exclaiming surprise during every moment of Sehn’s boastful tale.

“And then what, Sehn? And then what!”

“Do you even have to ask, Nero? Once they entered combat with the Great Sehn, they knew immediately they had no chance. Do you remember how I abused Daniel yesterday? I did that times ten.”

“So, where are they now, Sehn?”

Sehn made an exaggerated growl. “Unfortunately, they escaped.”

“All of them?”

“Yeah, Nero, all of them.”

Cah’lia turned around with the supplies so that none would see her cry. So, Sehn had not told Nero the full truth? He had spared him from terrors of life that even he was only first coming to grips with: that she had killed three men, and Patrick executed a fourth.

Cah’lia had wondered what Nero would do upon learning of his sister’s role in combat. Would he still look at her the same? Would he be appalled to know his sister had taken not one, but several lives?

Thanks to Sehn, she’d never have to find out.

For once, I owe him my thanks.

Chapter 8: The Fourth Day

 

Nero was bored; it was as simple as that. At first, he had delighted in the feeling of being away from home and seeing all the cool new animals and sights. But now that they were on their fourth day, all he wanted was to finally arrive in Koringrath.

If what his sister had told him was accurate, then by sunset that day, the mountains running close on both sides would end, and the land would once again open back up into wide plains. It was at this point they’d be nearing Koringrath.

Nero wasn’t very happy with the group. They bossed him around, and they didn’t even let him watch Sehn beat up those bandits two days earlier. That alone wouldn’t have been so bad if not for that
Daniel human
being allowed to go. Why did Daniel get to watch but not Nero? It was so frustrating. Nero wanted to punch him in the face.

Nero slowed his horse to ride alongside Sehn, who was once again starting to lag behind. He was slouched over in his horse, with quill and parchment in hand, writing at a furious rate. He’d been spending a great deal of time composing his Adventurer’s log. All day yesterday, from sunup to sundown, he’d been writing in that thing, and now all day today as well. Cah’lia had fought with him several times, forcing him to stop and eat, because Sehn had almost passed out—he claimed he’d been meditating—from lack of food and water. As the sun reached its noon position, Nero decided enough was enough.

“Sehn, let’s play a game. I’m bored, and all you’ve been doing lately is writing in that stupid book.”

Cah’lia pulled up alongside them as well, appearing interested in the conversation.

“Hush, Nero,” Sehn said. “This ‘stupid book’ chronicles the adventures of Sehn as he journeyed from the Harrow-Plains all the way to the treasure. I must make sure I write down everything completely accurate, exactly the way it happened. You see—hey, stop! Give that back, Cah’lia.”

Nero’s sister had a look of amusement on her face. She chuckled while she flipped through the pages. “Accurate, huh?”

“Of course, Fool’lia. The Great Sehn writes only the truth.”

“Fool’lia, Sehn? Really? Nice try, but not good enough.”

Nero tried to stay out of it. Sehn and his big sister were having some kind of name calling war. It all started yesterday when Cah’lia told Sehn his face looks like a pineapple. She started calling him Pineapple-Sehn. Now, every time Sehn spoke to her, he tried to make up an even more insulting name. Nero figured Sehn must’ve been losing the battle on purpose as the Great Sehn was incapable of defeat.

“Give me back my Adventure’s Log,
Bitch’lia
! It is a sin to even touch such a sacred object.”

Sehn tried to snatch it back, but Cah’lia held out a hand and deflected his grabs, pushing him away while laughing at the contents of Sehn’s great, heroic tale. Nero wanted to see what was inside too!

“Sehn, are you sure it happened this way?” Cah’lia asked. “I was there for most of these parts, and some of this isn’t ringing a bell.”

“Your foolish woman-brain is merely distorting reality, Cah’lia. It occurred exactly as I have written.”

“Oh really, Sehn? I’m pretty sure there were only ten bandits, first of all. And secondly, I don’t recall you summoning a fire-breathing dragon. “Cah’lia’s look of amusement turned to one of anger as she continued reading. “And what is
this?
I don’t remember you saving my life just as I was about to be devoured by a troll. I’m wondering if I really want to turn this page to see what happens next…”

Nero watched as a look of panic spread across Sehn. “No! Don’t turn that page, Cah’lia. You’ll activate a magical trap that will rip your face off. Stop!”

 
“Whoa, really?” Nero shouted. He gasped in horror as his sister lowered her hand to turn another page “Don’t do it, sis! Didn’t you hear what Sehn just told you? Stop, before it’s too late.”

Cah’lia turned the page despite Nero’s warning. Nero relaxed as, thankfully, nothing happened. Sehn must’ve decided to be merciful and somehow deactivated the trap.

Cah’lia snarled at Sehn. “You even have drawings in this?”

Sehn had a look of something that resembled fear, but Nero knew that couldn’t be possible, because Sehn was incapable of the emotion.

“Calm down, Cah’lia. Don’t force me to destroy you.”

Nero didn’t understand why, but his sister looked as if she was about to rip a hole in Sehn’s face. She shook the book at him.

“This is definitely
not
the way it happened, Sehn. I should rip this book in half right here and now. Why is there a drawing of me kissing your boots while saying, ‘Oh, Great Sehn. You have rescued me from the evil giant and, as repayment, I shall no longer ask for a share in the reward, which I don’t deserve anyways, being a woman and all.’ You are so dead, Sehn. Hey, why are you speeding up? I thought the Great Sehn runs from no one. Get back here!”

“I am not running, Fool’lia. My horse is acting of its own accord.”

“Then why are you kicking it in the flank?”

Nero watched in confusion as his sister gunned down Sehn and knocked him off the Elven high horse he rode. He had a feeling there was some kind of joke hidden in that, but it probably wasn’t something he’d figure out until he was older. Ah well, this was the most entertaining thing to happen in a while. Nero sped up to watch.

“Cah’lia, stop hitting me with my book. Cease this instant, or I shall—”

Sehn didn’t finish his sentence, because Cah’lia stuffed the spine of his large book into his mouth. He spat it out and glared at her.

“That’s it! You asked for it, Cah’lia.
Remmos
Sa
—”

Cah’lia dove at him, covering his mouth with her right hand. “You don’t exercise nearly enough, Sehn. You rely too much on that magic of yours. What happens if you can’t speak? This happens.”

Cah’lia kneed him in the stomach, causing him to double over and fall to the ground. Nero couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Was his sister actually defeating the Great Sehn? The three Humans also stopped to watch. Delight lit up on Daniel’s face as he watched Sehn struggle with Cah’lia.

Sehn fell on his back, and Cah’lia jumped on top of him, her palm still covering his mouth. “Say I get a fair reward, Sehn, or I’ll embarrass you more.”

She removed her hand. “Never!
Remmos Sal-
umghp
” Cah’lia covered it again before he could finish the spell, and this time, she pulled on Sehn’s ear with her free hand.

Sehn roared in what Nero believed was some form of pleasure, with tears watering in his eyes.

“Say I get an even share.”

This went on for around twenty minutes, with Sehn trying to use magic and Cah’lia torturing him. Finally, after what seemed an eternity of screaming and failed attempts at spell casting, Cah’lia removed her hand from Sehn’s mouth, and again asked, “Well? Do I get as much as everyone else does?”

Sehn scowled as he spoke. “I have decided, after testing your worthiness in battle, that you will receive an even share of the treasure’s profits. Your performance was barely acceptable, but the Great Sehn is benevolent and encouraging. Now, get off me, Cah’lia!”

Cah’lia walked away with a victorious grin planted on her face while Sehn threw evil glances at her back. He was further aggravated as she shook her rump in his face and told him to kiss it. Sehn tried to land a fireball on the easy target, but Cah’lia nimbly dodged, thanks to both her natural and trained agility.

Nero laughed as he watched the two of them yell and scream. For the rest of the day, every time Sehn wrote something in this Adventurer’s Log, he glanced over his shoulder.

As the sun finally set and they cleared the mountains on the end of the fourth day, Nero went to sleep with a smile on his face. Tomorrow he would finally get to see a city other than Elvar. Thinking of Koringrath, he closed his eyes and dozed under the stars.

 

BOOK: Questing Sucks (Book 1)
11.45Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
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