Racing to Love: Eli's Honor (18 page)

“But Eli, you don’t have to do that. You’ve already done so much, I don’t want to ask for more.”

He stood, glancing at the clock on the oven before winking at Honor. “See that’s the thing, Honor. You haven’t asked for anything. I offered. I want to help. I want you.” He bent quickly and kissed her lightly on the lips before she could see it coming.

Eli grinned as she blinked with surprise, loving that he was keeping her on her toes. She apparently had no real clue just how far he would go to get what he wanted.

Eli grabbed another muffin and his coffee and spun, hollering over his shoulder that they were all leaving in twenty minutes.

****

The man was something else. Honor blew out a breath, unsure of what just happened. She sat at the kitchen table for a full thirty seconds in a total daze until it hit her.

Leaving the muffins, the scattered notebooks, and papers, she headed down the long hallway. He wanted her to get ready to go? Well first, she wanted answers. Mister Sexy was two left turns past crazy if he thought he could just let her son blow off school and homework.

She paused at his bedroom door that he always left mostly open. Hesitantly, she peeked in, not wanting to just barge in on his privacy. “Eli?”

She couldn’t hear any water running yet, so she stepped in, hoping to catch him and discuss his plans with a little more detail before Dallas came back upstairs.

“Eli…?” Honor edged in even further, walking toward the bathroom door that was partially open.

Through the wide crack she caught sight of him standing over the sink shaving. Knowing she should turn around and leave, and actually doing it, were two entirely different things. It was as if reality came to a crashing halt and time stood still. Her lips parted and her heart rate sped. Her body reacted on its own accord with no permission from her brain.

Honor was confused, and if she had to admit it out loud, well then okay, she was a little pissed that he stepped in and relieved her son of work that had to be done. But damn it all to hell, as she watched through the cracked door she could see the muscles in his back and shoulders flex. If that wasn’t bad enough, there was that damn tattoo that haunted her dreams at night. It was taunting her, begging her to close the gap and run her fingers over it, to trace the dips and sweeping curves.

She’d been agonizing about asking him if it had any special meaning, or if it was just a cool design. It was killing her to know. Asking would clue the man in on the fact that she’d been looking at him. Staring, gawking, memorizing him was more like it, but he didn’t need to know that. He didn’t need to know he was the last thing on her mind at night and the first thing she thought about when she awoke.

When there was breakfast to make, homework to do, and practice to watch, she could force herself to focus, but in the quiet of the night, it was Eli her mind rushed to think about.

He lowered his arm and the tattoo moved with it, causing her to suck in an audible breath. Without meaning to, the tip of her tongue darted out to lick her top lip, at the same moment she felt his eyes on her. Looking past the tattoo to the bathroom mirror where he stood, Honor caught the wicked grin of the devil incarnate staring straight back at her.

Heat spread over her skin and her eyes went wide before she could back out of his line of sight. Putting her fingertips to her cheek, she felt the fire in it. She was anchored in her spot, and trying to get her breathing under control was her primary goal. It wasn’t until she heard him speak that some sort of rational thought told her to flee and hide to avoid the embarrassing situation.

“Come here, sweetheart.”

His teasing tone was laced with underlying seduction.

Oh shit.

Honor looked at the bedroom door. Suddenly his bedroom felt enormous and the safety of the threshold too far for her to reach fast enough.

“Honor. Come here, honey.”

She closed her eyes and grasped at excuses, but they failed to come, the same way her legs failed to move. “Um…ah…that’s okay.”

The laughter in his voice had her shutting her eyes even tighter. “I’m still dressed, sweetheart.”

“Halfway,” she mumbled under her breath, referring to the thin pajama bottoms he still had on and the visible waistband of his boxers underneath.

“I heard that.”

Fuck.

She had to retreat before that sinful tattoo made her do things she’d regret. Forcing her brain to engage, she took one step back. Honor finally opened her eyes and started to turn, only to be spun the other direction into a solid wall of muscle. The shock caused her to pull in a much needed deep breath as she glanced at her palms pressed flat against his dark skin.

The fog she’d been in, followed and fell back over her. A wave of heat dusted across her skin, feeling as if she was going to burn alive. Rendered speechless in his hold, she felt him grow hard against her.

With her body close to his, the surprise of his movement stole all conscious thought and left her staring up into his hazel eyes. She watched as they quickly darkened. His gaze was fixed on her, the tease still graced his face when his mouth hinted at a smile, but the narrowing of his eyes made her feel more like she’d turned into his prey.

“What did you need, sweetheart?” he asked, his voice deeper, quieter.

Honor could almost feel his words as his mouth hovered just over hers. All she could do was blink in answer.

Eli ran one palm across her cheek and settled her head in his hand, his thumb stroking her cheek. “You came in here to put me in my place, didn’t you?” He grinned.

Again, Honor’s body answered with shallow breaths, not the fire she’d experienced in his kitchen, or even on the other side of his bedroom door. She gave him the ammunition he needed to use against her.

He closed in even more, holding her tight. She might be under his spell and rooted in place, but she fought like hell to keep her eyes open.

“Trust me.” The two simple words whispered before he settled in, placing a soft but powerful kiss on her lips. As if he was sealing the statement in before she could argue back.

Then, as if he knew that her next concern was of
Dallas walking in on them, he parted quickly. His hand trailing over her cheek was the last of the connection he broke. The roguish smile returned to his face as he watched her try to regain her composure.

“What was that?” She huffed out a breath, “Oh, never mind,” Honor stated exasperatedly then turned away once again.

With a light grip on her slender wrist, for a second time he stopped her. Barely holding on to the wits she just found, Honor didn’t dare turn to face him. A mistake she immediately regretted when he pulled her against him, her back to his front. His strong arms went around her, possessing her. With a grip around her waist, he settled the other diagonally across her chest, pulling her tighter against him. His breath warmed her skin as his mouth lingered on the side of her neck.

“You know full well what that was, Honor. We’re attracted to each other, and I kissed you. Don’t act like this isn’t happening. Slowly but surely, you’re letting me in. Piece by piece you’re falling for me. You don’t want to, but you are. Quit fighting it.”

Honor struggled to remain unaffected, aloof in his embrace, but it was futile. She gripped her eyes shut tight, trying to fight the hold his words had on her before finally surrendering and laying her head back against his chest. On its own accord, her head fell to the side, waiting on him to continue, granting him the submission she knew he wanted.

“You’re wasting my valuable time.”

She stiffened at his flat statement until he pressed on.

“I’m working on borrowed time here, Honor. I know just how long I have before I have to drive you back to that damned airport. I know exactly how many days I have left with you in my life before you disappear. And I know you will try to disappear. So don’t tell me to never mind, because I do mind. I mind a whole hell of a lot. You’re like a piece of me that has been missing for far too long, and I sure as fucking hell don’t want to let you go,” he said with a strong but desperate voice, almost as if he was arguing and pleading with her at the same time.

Eli’s arms continued to hold her tightly, but at the same time she felt his gentleness. Power mixed with softness. She had no words for him in return. Not the words he wanted anyway.

This was so fucked up. Why couldn’t she make him understand that this wasn’t about just her, that uprooting
Dallas from his home and his only uncle would be hard, but if the relationship failed it would be traumatizing for her son. He had a hard enough time as it was. Eli wasn’t seeing the whole picture. She wouldn’t be the only one in the relationship. She brought a whole other person—another heart—into the mix.

Instinct braced her.

Then she felt it.

His tongue on her neck, the tip tracing the unmistakable shape of the cursive letter
E
into her skin before kissing it away, or maybe in. Either way, it was clear he was marking her. The moment stole her breath away, and what was left in her lungs came out on a desperate sigh. Her hands that were trapped at her sides reached for something, anything. Fisting the soft cloth of his pajama bottoms in her palms, she frantically tried to ground herself.

Eli must have taken the gesture as desire. He pulled her tighter to him, his lips, tongue and mouth possessed her. The thin cotton of his pants was not hiding his need, instead he pressed himself against her. The steel was undeniable, searing her through their clothing. Without meaning to, a soft moan betrayed her, revealing more to him than she wanted known.

“Mom...?”

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Oh fucking shit
.

He had her trapped in his hold. He had his mouth on the soft skin of her neck, his tongue visible to anyone watching—except it wasn’t just anyone who was watching.

This was going to go one of two ways. Eli had always been one to take risks, but that was with his own life. His heart had already been speeding, now it felt like it was pounding hard enough to break one of his ribs from the inside. He hadn’t been thinking when he pulled her to him, his only mission was to make her feel what he felt.

His dating life had dropped down past nonexistent to extinct since his accident, but even before that he had never dated a…
mother
. Eli pulled in a steeling breath as different scenarios played thorough his mind, none of which had quite the perfect ending he was hoping for.

It wasn’t as if they were alone, it wasn’t as if Eli didn’t know
Dallas was there. Hell, they were staying in his home. It just never crossed his mind that the boy would pick up on the undercurrents of their attraction, let alone actually see it firsthand.

Honor had gone ramrod straight in his arms. Other than that, it was as if everything else slowed to half speed. With his arms wrapped around her, his palm was over her heart and it was beating a mile a minute. Eli hadn’t dared to open his eyes yet. First things first, he removed his lips from the boy’s mother. In his hold, he felt Honor suck in a sharp breath—his ego told him it was at the loss of contact.

Slowly he opened his eyes and met Dallas’s gaze.

To his amazement, the boy never flinched, didn’t blush, and if Eli wasn’t mistaken, one corner of his mouth was slightly turned up. The approval was there, masked but visible. Eli held his eye contact for a long moment before Honor’s panic caught up with her. Then
Dallas turned and hightailed it out of the doorway.

“
Dallas,” she said, calling after him, the hurt hanging in her voice. “Shit. What have I done?” She tried to hide her face in her hands for a brief moment before starting to skate away.

She must have not seen the same expression Eli had. All had been right in his world with that one look from
Dallas. Honor, however, was melting down, and he had a feeling he was about to lose her. The walls were going back up faster than he could get his arms around her.

“Honor, wait.”

“No, Eli. I need to go talk to my son. Damn it. Why do you always push? I told you I couldn’t give you more, now look what’s happened.”

“Honor, sweetheart. I saw the look on his face, he wasn’t upset.”

“You don’t know my son.”

“Do you?”

The words slipped out calmly, but he hadn’t meant to say them aloud.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” she snapped back. “Of course I know my own child.”

“Did you see the half smile, a second ago? Did you see the way he left us alone? He didn’t start screaming or pitching a fit. He didn’t take off like a bat out of hell. He’s fine, Honor.”

She fought his hold, but he remained steady, knowing if he let her slip away there was a good chance it was permanent. “Sweetheart.”

“Quit calling me that. For the love of God Eli, let me go. I’ve got to—”

“To what, Honor? Run away? To hide from something that would make you happy? From where I’m standing, I see a woman who hasn’t ever been cherished. Let me be the one to do so. Let me in. Please.”

At his last word, she looked up to him, and what he saw rocked him to the core. For the first time in his life, his confidence was shattered to pieces. The deep violet eyes staring at him were swimming in tears ready to fall. Eli swallowed hard, gasping for a breath, inadvertently loosening his grip, and allowing her to slip from his arms.

For the first time, he let her go.

He closed his eyes, not able to bear the pain. He didn’t watch her walk away, only heard the click of his bedroom door being shut. Eli didn’t know why she had done it, he never shut his door, ever. One could only assume it was a conscious effort to keep him from following her. Eli dropped his head and kept his eyes closed, memory allowing him to make it to the bed. Slumping down, he rested his forearms on his thighs.

Now what?

Eli had always had a keen sense when it came to reading people. He could tell within a couple of dates whether or not he wanted to proceed into relationship territory. So far, that had never been a direction he wanted to head. Between his career, his wreck, and the lack of desire to hunt down his soul mate by scouring clubs, Eli managed to remain unattached. Without a single doubt though, he knew that Honor was meant for him.

Apparently, she didn’t feel the same way.

“Dallas. Honey, let me explain,” she pleaded to his back.

“Um…ah, that’s okay, I’m good,”
Dallas rushed out. “Tell Eli, I’m ready.”

Expecting to have a heart-to-heart with her son so she could apologize, instead Honor received a shoulder brush-off that she couldn’t translate. He un-paused the video game, and she took her cue that the conversation was over. Slinking back up the stairs was almost impossible, the weight in her stomach made it difficult to walk.

Not caring about how much time she had left, Honor pulled herself into the shower and let the hot water hide the tears rolling down her cheeks. She needed to get it together, the curse of being a redhead was going to leave evidence of her breakdown in the form of puffy eyes and red blotches all over her face. Part of her didn’t care if Eli saw what he was doing to her, but pride got in the way, and she was determined not to let him know.

She’d lived through so many hard moments in her life. Even the time her future splintered around her—the day she buried her mother and her dreams—wasn’t as painful as this morning was.

After falling into an easy friendship immediately with Eli, she’d opened up, told him things no one else knew. Basking in the laughter and jokes, the easy smiles and light teasing, she’d devoured his companionship like a starved woman. She wasn’t stupid, she could see he wanted more, but she’d been very careful to keep the relationship platonic.

Until yesterday.

Honor had screwed up when she kissed him back. Then under the relaxing influence of the wine throughout the evening, she kissed him again on the couch. She wasn’t trying to play games or be coy, she wasn’t trying to play hard to get, she was just, oh hell…she was just lost.

****

Now, sitting beside him in his SUV, the silence was deafening.

Honor’s head rested against the soft leather. With no enthusiasm, she watched the landscape of the Noland’s property buzz by. The white wood fence surrounding the track came into view, but she never gave it a thought, even though
Dallas was in street clothes for once instead of gear.

Suddenly, she realized just how much Eli touched her…physically.

Her heart clenched at the longing. Her mind railed on her, silently berating her for becoming attached. Honor couldn’t help it. From the time he swept her into his arms for a fake reunion at the airport to their daily routine, he was always touching her. A finger run across the back of her hand here, a soft rub down her back there. He had gotten bolder the last couple of days with the kisses, but it was the interaction she was missing.

She had blown it.

Honor couldn’t have him, and couldn’t pursue a relationship with him. It wouldn’t work. But it still hurt like hell to put a stop to it. Whatever
it
was. Like a tidal wave rushing over her without warning, she unexpectedly felt exhausted. The war that had been raging inside her since Dallas made the comments about Eli liking her, had finally taken its toll.

Her body deflated against the seat, her heart sank, and she tried like hell, but the tears were again burning in her eyes. Honor clenched them tight, willing herself to just keep it together until she could get out of the car and get some privacy. It was a losing battle, and she cursed herself as a drop escaped and rolled down her cheek. Feigning hair in her eyes, she tried to swipe it away unnoticed. She wasn’t that lucky.

Without a word, out of the corner of her eye she saw Eli’s arm slide across the console, his palm up, fingers spread.

Waiting.

Swallowing hard, she slowly inched her fingers toward his until her hand rested in his. Immediately, he closed his fingers around hers like he was afraid she’d pull away again. More than once, he squeezed her fingers, a show of support she felt she didn’t deserve. It wasn’t until he drove down the long driveway to the rear of James and Karen’s home that she chanced a look in his direction.

His attempt at a smile was there, but unsuccessful.

The pain tore through her. The fact that she was causing him heartache was too much. It was one thing for her to be hurting and upset, but it added another layer of guilt for him to be saddened. With a furrowed brow she studied his face as he watched the road, guiding the vehicle into place between Emery’s car and Carter’s truck. Eli brought their joined hands to his mouth and placed a light kiss on her knuckles.

With a wink he mouthed, “It’ll be okay. Trust me.”

She finally nodded. With her answer, the crushing weight started to lift off her chest. She took the first deep breath she’d been able to, since escaping his room almost an hour earlier. His hand slipped from hers, and he put the SUV in park. Without a word, Dallas was out of the vehicle and jogging toward the two little ones who came out for him.

“I’m sorry I hurt your feelings, Eli,” Honor said, knowing her apology was barely audible.

Mimicking his earlier move, he cradled her head in his hand and stroked her cheek. This time she leaned into the gesture, needing the comfort of the friend she had in him.

“I don’t want your apology, Honor.” Leaning in he closed the space between them, letting his lips dance over hers. “I want your heart.”

Honor wasn’t shocked at his words. She didn’t flinch or even pull in a deep breath. He had been nothing but honest and upfront with her. After the last hour of misery, she had no idea how she was supposed to go back to Tennessee alone. For the first time in her life she couldn’t pretend that being a mother was enough.

Eli had her heart.

And when she boarded that plane to go home, the heart he held in his hands was going to break.

Desperate for a subject change, she glanced up at the open back door to the house. “Why are we at James and Karen’s?”

When Eli’s smile spread across his face, Honor felt relieved. They were back on safe territory.

“Because I promised to take care of you and Dallas.”

With that statement, safe territory, safe subjects became a slippery slope. She didn’t know what to ask, or what to say that wouldn’t put them both back feeling like they had for the last hour.

So she didn’t. Honor tilted her head in question and waited.

“How long has Dallas had trouble in school?”

The man could switch up subjects faster than her brain could process them, and her heart couldn’t take it. Honor thought back over the years trying to figure out an answer. “I guess always. We just plug along and get through one year at a time.”

What looked like pride swept over Eli’s face, and he winked. “I didn’t want to say anything because I wasn’t sure, but I did notice him struggling to read when we were playing video games. I’m pretty confident I know what’s going on, and, well—I have a solution. Come on, let’s go.”

The fact that the man hadn’t let her down or led her astray had her getting out of the car, but when he opened the back passenger door behind him and grabbed Dallas’s backpack and threw it over one shoulder, she couldn’t help but look at him like he had a screw loose. He moved so quickly around the vehicle and stood in front of her, she couldn’t ask him what was going on.

He ran his fingers over her cheek, and Lord help her, her breath caught—audibly—and he grinned at the non-vocal admission.

“You’re really beautiful, Honor.”

Another stab at her already heavy heart forced the air out of her lungs, but before she could point out the reasons why he shouldn’t say things like that, he switched things up on her—again.

“Karen is a retired teacher, and she homeschooled both Brody and Molly. We talked to her during our board meeting about helping out, before I ever visited you. Since he’s going to be here so long, she said she would be happy to help if he needed it. Well, I have a feeling after the frustration I saw he was having, she can make that all go away.

“I am not trying to diagnose your son or act like I know everything, so please don’t think that. And Karen will know more by working with him and watching Dallas for a little bit, but I have a younger brother who’s dyslexic, and I have a gut feeling that’s what’s going on here. Now, my brother…he had a really rough road in school until they figured it out, and I don’t think Dallas is that severe. But I did notice some of the same traits and signals when I saw him flip through magazines or when he tried to set up his profile for the video game I bought him.

“If I’m right, there are techniques that will work here that don’t in a classroom full of kids. He’ll love being with Karen. I know she thinks the world of him already, and the woman has the patience of a saint. I mean seriously, she puts up with all us boys on a regular basis.” He wiggled his eyebrows. “Working with him one-on-one will provide him with a chance to build up some confidence.”