Random Acts of Senseless Violence (3 page)

Anyway that's what happened yesterday. Today everybody acted like nothing happened at all so I'm not going to worry about moving yet. I don't want to worry about it. I may not write you tomorrow I should wait and see what happens.

MARCH
1

Nothing's happened so far Anne so I thought I should write you before you forget I was here. Daddy and Mama haven't said anything else about moving so maybe they were just getting crazy and worked up about something. They do that all the time. They worry themselves crazy and then they act like there wasn't anything wrong like it never happened. When I was little it used to upset me but now I'm used to it. Poor Boob she's not used to it, she's been sick ever since we talked, or at least she says she's sick but she seems fine to me. I think she's just got herself all worked up. I'm glad I'm calm. Somebody has to stay calm around this place. Not much else to say tonight Anne so night night.

MARCH
2

Katherine stayed over with me last night and after we ate dinner we watched a video. She wanted to watch
Fantasia
so we did. She really likes it though I think a lot of it is awfully stupid. The devil at the end is really good though but then it gets so silly again. We had a good time.
Katherine is fun when she's not at school or around Lori. I don't know what it is but she's not as nervous or something. After we watched the movie we went into my room and got ready for bed. Katherine was putting on her pajamas and I saw a big bruise on her bottom. ‘What happened?' I asked. ‘I fell down' she said. ‘Doesn't it hurt?' I asked. ‘Not a lot' she said. Earlier I saw she wasn't sitting all the way down on the couch but propped herself up on her legs. I didn't know why until I saw the bruise. She must have fallen awfully hard when she fell.

I asked if she wanted me to sleep on the floor but she said she wanted to sleep with me and I was glad so I said get in. We talked for a long time. I did most of the talking at first even though when it's just us together Katherine isn't so quiet as she is around her parents or Lori or at school. We talked about our teachers and some of the girls we know like Icky Betsy. I told her that Mama and Daddy were saying we might move but I didn't believe them because they were probably just imagining it. My fourth grade English teacher Miss Wisegarver told me I had a great imagination and I told her I couldn't help it I inherited it. But I know when something's real or not at least, sometimes I think I'm the only one in my crazy family who does.

Anyway after a while Katherine and I started playing make believe. We hugged each other like we were in a sleeping bag. ‘Make believe you have an imaginary family' she said. ‘What's it like?'

‘We'd live in Vermont' I said. ‘Daddy would write at home. Mama would be just wonderful and sweet and take care of us all the time. She'd be like a nice Junior League lady. There'd be three or four towheaded kids. We'd have a big house with fireplaces and four white columns out in front.'

‘That's nice' Katherine said. Her father is an investor. He works for a bank downtown. They live on Park at 78th Street. I don't go over to their house very often because she says her parents don't like too much noise.

‘Your turn' I said. ‘Make believe you have an imaginary family. What's it like?'

‘They stay in their rooms and I stay in mine' she said. ‘I read all the time and sometimes I watch TV. Dad works in another country and Mom calls him on weekends. He only comes home once a year. I have three older sisters who are all beautiful and love me. Make believe you have a boyfriend. What's he like?'

‘I'll never have a boyfriend' I said.

‘You will' she said. ‘And what's he like?'

‘He's not too tall and he has a beard. He wears glasses. If I ask him to bring me something he always does.'

‘That's your father' she said and laughed.

‘It is not' I said. ‘Make believe you have a boyfriend. What's he like?'

‘He's got blond hair' she said. ‘He looks really cute and wears bicycle shorts. He swims really well and takes me out to dinner every night. He always remembers my birthday.'

‘And his name's Corey' I said. I was laughing.

‘No it's not' she said. ‘It's Paul.'

‘Make believe you could go anywhere you wanted to go' I said. ‘Where would you go?'

‘I don't know' she said. She put her leg on mine and I put mine on hers. It was nice and warm. ‘I don't know where I'd go. Somewhere.'

‘Florida?' She shook her head. Katherine and her family go to Florida every year. ‘If I could go anywhere I wanted to go I'd go to Europe. I'd want to see where my grandparents were from' I said.

‘Where were they from?' Katherine asked.

‘Prague' I said. ‘I'd like to go to Prague. What next?'

Katherine rolled on her back and put up her knees like she was going to do situps. ‘Lo' she said. ‘Make believe you're a boy and you're raping me.'

‘Why would I rape you? That's an awful thing to say' I said. ‘Go on make believe' she said. ‘If I was a boy I wouldn't rape you' I said. ‘Why do you say that?' ‘That's
what they do' she said. ‘I don't want to pretend that, Kat. We better go to sleep' I said. She rolled back over against me. ‘If I snore just smack me' she said. ‘Til kick you' I said. ‘Okay.'

I didn't go right to sleep because I thought about what she said to me for a long time because it bothered me. I didn't mind making believe I was a boy because I think I'd be a better boy than most boys but rape's bad and I don't know why she wanted me to pretend that. Katherine's really weird sometimes. She didn't snore at all and I don't know who told her she did. So I lay there for a long time listening through the wall to Boob talk in her sleep and I wished I had been alone because if I had been I'd have gotten up and written you Anne. Well better late than never.

MARCH
3

Granny's here and so are the crampers. The first day's the worst though so I know when I wake up tomorrow morning I'll feel better and that's good to know. I've only been having my period since last year but I'm already tired of it. Mama says ‘Oh darling it's a terrible affliction for us poor women but what can you do?' When Granny's here I always think I smell bad and I get zits and I know I look funny. They tell you all about it in the movies they show you but they never tell you how much it hurts. I warned Boob because she said she wanted to have periods too and I said that's what you think. ‘You just want to have them all for yourself' she said. ‘I want them too.' Boob's so crazy. She still ties on her My L'il Fetus every day when she gets home from school. I think it needs to go in the laundry.

Katherine was acting weird again in History class today. Lori and I said hello and she blushed and ran away. I think she thinks I'm mad at her for her asking me to pretend I was a boy the other night. That's so ridiculous but you never know what people are going to think Anne. I think she'll get over it.

Lori was smoking again at lunch today. I could smell it on her breath when I saw her. I asked her if she was but she said she wasn't. I don't care if she smokes or not but she'll get in so much trouble when they catch her again. I know they suspend girls they catch smoking the second time and her parents would just kill her. She says they've been really after her lately about a lot of things but she doesn't say what things she means. Daddy says they should ship her off but he's not serious because that's what he always said he was going to do to us and we never believed him.

We listened to music by Ralph Vaughan Williams in Music class today. You don't say Ralph you say Rafe. We listened to
The Lark Ascending
. It's so beautiful and sad. I think if I ever have a funeral I'd like it to be played while everybody's crying, it'll make them feel even sadder and they'll miss me even more.

Finally finished
Silas Marner
. Yuck!

All for now, Anne.

MARCH
4

The weather's so crazy. It went up to ninety degrees today. It was so hot this afternoon Lori and I went to our favorite luncheonette at Lexington and 83 rd for milk shakes after school. It's a real old place that's been around for almost a hundred years, I think and it's great fun to go in. Well Anne there we were sitting there when who should walk in but Mimsy Porter. She used to go to Brearley but now she goes to Chapin, she got kicked out of Brearley because her grades were so bad and her father didn't know anyone he could lean on.

Let me tell you how the schools are because otherwise you may not understand. Chapin is where the dumb girls go. They're not really dumb but they're dumber than the girls at Brearley. The society girls go to Spence. You don't have to be smart to go to Dalton but you have to have money. The girls who go to Marymount are so dumb
they're remedial. At the other schools of course they all say the dykes go to Brearley but they're just jealous and you'd expect them to say that because our school is the very best one.

Anyway so Mimsy comes in all fancy shmancy wearing a new dress and pretty patent leather shoes. She walks over to where we're sitting and she starts acting like she's at cotillion. She says oh it's sooo good to see you and how have you been. I think Mimsy is annoying and really shallow but I can put up with her. Lori can't stand her. ‘How are you doing, Mim?' Lori asks. Fabbbbulous says Mimsy. Her head's gotten so big I'm surprised she got it through the door. Anyway Lori asks ‘What classes are you taking?' and before Mimsy can tell her Lori answers. ‘Abortion 101? How to Be a Slut?' What are you talllking about Mimsy says. ‘How much homework they make you do?' Finally Mimsy figures out Lori's making fun of her and you can imagine what she had to say to that. Lori just laughed and said ‘Go away, somebody might think we know you.' Mimsy looked like she was going to slap Lori but Lori's bigger than she is so instead she turned around and flounced out and that was that. ‘Why were you so mean to her, Lori?' I asked. ‘She's silly but there's no need to be so mean.'

‘Yes there is. She's so stuck up she drives me crazy' Lori said. ‘They must be paying her to go to Chapin.'

‘She's not worth getting upset about' I said. ‘That's what I think.'

‘You know we had a dance with those boys from Walden last year' Lori said. ‘She snuck off with one of them and made out. I heard all about it later.'

‘Like you and Simon did?' I asked. Lori got mad but didn't say anything because she knows I can handle myself better than Mimsy or Katherine can. Lori's kind of a bully but she's been one of my two best friends since first grade. We hated each other at first though. We were making clay sculptures and I made a pot with a little person in it. She
asked who it was and I said ‘It's you. It's an ogre in the pot. I'm making ogre stew.' Lori hit me and I hit her back and then we got into a big fight right there in class. We made up after we got out of the office though and we've been the best of friends ever since. Me and Lori and Katherine are the founding members of the Ogre Club though we're not as bad as we used to be except for Lori of course.

On TV tonight they showed the President meeting with the cabinet. I looked at his face and it looks like Mama's, I don't mean they look anything at all alike. I mean sometimes there just isn't anything there and I think he's on Xanax too.

MARCH
6

Anne I'm sorry I'm not being as diligent as I should be in writing to you every day but you know how it is with distractions like parents and sisters and school. Sometimes I just never get any time to myself! I'll try to do better.

Some days there's not much to say, though. Daddy says he has a new idea and he's been working on it for the past two days though he's not saying what it is yet. He always says it's bad luck to talk about what you're writing on before you're finished except to the people you're working with and sometimes not even then. Mama says ‘Darlings your father is such a primitive at heart he has any number of personal hoodoos' and Boob and I think it's funny but I hope he has good luck this time. We'll see what happens. Once he worked on a script for three years before they finally turned it down but usually it doesn't take that long.

MARCH
7

Before you know it here it is Friday and it's the weekend again. Lori's having a party over at her house tomorrow night and I don't really want to go because I don't like parties but I want to see Lori so I'll go. She's invited some
boys she knows from Walden and friends of her brother's from Trinity and I'm not looking forward to putting up with them. I'm sure they'll be as stupid as they always are, the stupider they are the more they get away with. They're not cunning at all.

We went to a movie tonight that got good reviews but Daddy kept talking about how bad the script was until finally the people behind us asked him to be quiet. He made some sarcastic remarks and we thought that the man was going to get up and start a fight but he didn't. Daddy was quiet for a while after that but then started groaning again and kept groaning till the movie was over. This always happens Anne whenever we go to the movies. Even though he says he wasn't Daddy must have been awful when he was a little boy. I love Daddy but I think when boys grow up they stay the same.

After the movie we went to Falafel and Stuff over on First Avenue and had dinner. Boob asked Mama and Daddy if she could get a new dress. I've told her we shouldn't be asking them for things now because they can't afford it and they'll get it anyway but she never listens to anything I say. ‘Oh darling do you need it for some sort of affair or something?' Mama asked.

‘I need it because I need it' said Boob. That's not the most convincing reason I've ever heard, said Daddy. ‘I need it' said Boob.