Razing Kayne (15 page)

Kayne stopped but didn’t turn around. He couldn’t look at her. “Forget it. I thought
you were different. I thought your children mattered to you, but I see I was wrong
.
At least I found out now, before I let another woman destroy everything I care about.
Call me when you're ready to meet for the paternity test. I want it done tomorrow.
And keep that asshole the hell away from my daughter.” He forced himself to walk away.

Kayne was just reaching for the door handle to his truck when he heard the front door
slam against the wall. He turned, expecting Cody to have followed him out. He was
looking forward to beating the shit out of him—oath to protect and serve
be
damned.

But it was Maddy
.
Jessica followed her, but stopped in the doorway, watching as Maddy flew down the
steps, tears streaming down her face.

Goddamn it
!
How
had what
should be one of the happiest times in his life gotten so fucked up?

“Please don't leave.” 

Maddy’s sobs broke his already battered heart.
Oh baby, I don't want to.
Fuck, how could Jessica do this to them?

Kayne closed his eyes, fighting down emotions that he couldn't let Maddy see. She
didn't need to know how bad this was hurting him to walk away. She didn't need to
know that he blamed her mother. Somehow, he managed to speak past the lump in his
throat. “Shh, it's
okay,
It's all going to be okay.” He held her close, stroked her hair.

But it wasn't okay, and he had no idea if it ever would be. He was scared to death
that he might lose Tasha all over again.
What about Maddy, and the others?
They'd wormed their way right into his heart, and he loved them too. How could he
not? But what could he do when Jessica was too busy catering to Cody's wishes to be
their mother first?

SIXTEEN

After Kayne’s emotional—and quite frankly heartbreaking—departure, Jess had marched
back in the house and demanded that Cody leave. He’d refused. It wasn’t until she’d
had the phone in hand, 9-1-1 dialed, and her thumb on the talk button that he’d capitulated
.
But the look in his eyes had truly frightened her, it had promised retribution for
her defiance.

After a sleepless night, she’d called her attorney. He’d recommended she agree to
the paternity test; within three days’ time they’d know if there was a case to be
adjudicated. He’d also insisted they file a no-contact order against Kayne. Jess had
argued the point. She knew Kayne wasn't dangerous. In the end she’d agreed on one
condition, that an order was placed against Cody as well. Had he just stepped away
and let her handle Kayne, things could have gone differently.

Jess wasn’t prepared for the onslaught of reporters congregating outside the courthouse
the following Friday. Somehow, word had leaked to the media late yesterday that the
sole surviving child of the murder/suicide that had rocked Santa Barbara had been
found. The media was having a field day with Children's Services’ failure to properly
follow procedure. The front page of this morning's newspaper read
CPS Fails to Protect the Child, Yet Again!
Arizona's morning show trailer asked, “Are Child Services workers guilty of kidnapping
or simply failing to do their job?”

She stood there for several minutes trying to screw up the nerve to walk past all
those people with their cameras and microphones and enter the courthouse. She was
so afraid of what the judge was going to say. The paternity test had come back as
a near perfect match. Kayne was indisputably Gracie's father.

As if the mere thought conjured him, Kayne stepped into her line of vision and stopped.
He made no move to violate the order in any way, but simply watched her with an unreadable
expression on his handsome face. Jess's gaze shifted between Kayne and the courthouse.
She wanted so badly to fall at his feet and beg him not to take Gracie away. To promise...she'd
agree to anything in order to keep her daughter.

He stretched out his hand as if to say, “Come on, I'll walk you in,” like he knew
she was afraid to take those final steps alone.

Before she could follow the stupid, foolish heart that kept telling her to trust him,
her attorney rushed toward her. “Jess, here you are.” He stepped into her line of
sight, breaking the spell. “Let's go in, I need to talk to you. Ignore the media.
It's just a tactic by the other side to try and gain public sympathy. But it won't
work; the judge is going to see right through it.”

Jess nodded and followed him into the throng of people. In the back of her mind, she
knew he was wrong. Kayne wouldn't have wanted this publicity. He wouldn't have wanted
their lives
invaded like this. He sure as hell wouldn't have put the kids at risk from crazy reporters
willing to do anything to get a choice picture or an exclusive story.

Suddenly everyone converged around her, yelling and shouting, asking her if she'd
known Tasha Dobrescu had been kidnapped when she adopted her. They questioned her
involvement in the kidnapping and asked how much she'd had to pay for Gracie, making
it sound as though she'd bought her off the black market like some illegal street
drug. Between the camera flashes and the people pushing in around her, disorientation
struck, and Jess froze.

When a pair of strong arms wrapped around her, she nearly screamed. But she recognized
the warm voice in her ear. “I've got you, baby. Just hold on. ” 

Kayne pulled her to his side. Shielding her face from the reporters with his campaign
hat, he guided her up the walkway and through the doors. The second they were inside,
he let her go to turn on her attorney.

“You just left her out there?” His voice was furious with disbelief. “And you, where
the hell were you?” He glowered at Cody.

Neither Jess's attorney nor Cody said a word. However, Kayne's attorney did.

“She's not your problem, Kayne. She put a restraining order against you, and you just
violated it on national television for christsake. Let her attorney or her
boyfriend
worry about her and quit giving her ammunition to use against you!”

Kayne looked her way, the disappointment in his eyes clear. He shook his head and
walked away
.
How much worse was this day going to get before it was over?

***

The bailiff stepped forward. “All rise, the Honorable Buck Johnson presiding.”

Jess slowly rose on trembling legs, her heart pumping blood through her body so loudly
that she nearly missed hearing the Judge say, “Everyone take a seat.” He adjusted
his glasses, began shuffling papers, and continued, “Give me just a minute, and we'll
get started.”

“Relax.” Her attorney laid a reassuring hand on her forearm, his voice pitched low.
“There's no way Buck is going to give custody to Dobrescu; especially not with Santa
Barbara Police Department reopening their investigation into his family's death. He
was their number one suspect. That's in our favor.”

Jess nodded.
She’d met and been interrogated by Detective Figueroa. He’d made it clear that he
still viewed Kayne as his prime suspect.
Her gaze strayed to Kayne, and her heart gave a betraying flutter.
Damn it!
Why did the man have to look so incredibly sexy? She hadn't paid much attention before,
but now that she thought about it, he'd probably been on-duty for hours before coming
to court, since he was in uniform. And yet his clothes looked freshly pressed, his
badge and boots polished to a high shine. His right forearm rested on the butt of
his firearm, his forefinger and thumb flipping the safety cover of his pepper spray
up and down, up and down. That action was the only indicator that he was nervous.
Otherwise, he appeared calm and in control. And her attorney was wrong; anyone who
knew Kayne knew he hadn't murdered his wife and children.

Jess pressed her fist against her roiling stomach. God, she didn't know how she was
going to make it through this. What if she actually lost Gracie? What would she tell
her other children? Except for Maddy, they were still too young to fully understand
that they might lose their baby sister; to understand that Kayne could prevent them
from ever seeing her again.

But would he really take Gracie away? She was terrified of that answer. After the
events of this past couple weeks, who'd blame him for doing that?

She couldn't begin to imagine how badly this had to be hurting Kayne, and she hated
that she cared. She glanced his way, only to find him staring at her, his eyes full
of sympathy and understanding, and something else that looked suspiciously like pain.
She didn't want his sympathy; she didn't want him to understand that it felt like
some unseen monster had its talons buried deep in her heart, ready to rip it out at
even the
thought
of losing Gracie.
But most of all, she sure as hell didn't want to acknowledge his pain.
Jessica was desperate enough to pray to a God she no longer believed in that she'd
never have to lose another child. She couldn't survive it again.

I'm sorry
, he signed in American Sign Language.
So sorry
, he mouthed, his left hand still resting flat over his heart. Jess closed her eyes
and looked away, fighting tears. Yeah, she was sorry too. They should have found a
way to work this out between them. Instead, they were sitting here in court after
throwing angry words, and then attorneys, at each other. God, how had it all gone
so horribly wrong?

Regrettably, one word came to mind:
Cody
. Jess still didn't understand how he thought he had a right to be involved in this,
but his showing up today in spite of the court order proved he felt he did. Thankfully,
the bailiff had refused him entrance. Jess glanced up at the judge. More than likely
that had been his edict.

Judge Johnson had denied Kayne’s request for a change of venue. She hoped that was
a good sign, but truthfully doubted. She’d known the judge most of her life, and while
she thought he had a soft spot where she was concerned, she doubted it would work
in her favor
.
To the man, he faithfully and impartially discharged his duties as an officer of the
court; he was uncompromisingly fair
.

Judge Johnson cleared his throat. “Let's get started. I've read all the motions and
responses and counter motions and counter responses and police reports from both Santa
Barbara and here in Payson. I have a couple of questions.”
Judge Johnson looked over his reading glasses at Jess. “Why did you keep Grace?”

One of the easiest and most difficult questions he could have asked
.
Jess closed her eyes for a moment and let the memories she’d buried surface. “Standing
in that emergency room, helplessly watching Jarred die was tearing me apart. We’d
had a fight before he left for work, and our last words to each other had been in
anger. Joe Sutton holding me was the only thing keeping me together. Then a nurse
shoved this crying, screaming baby into my arms, and all the chaos just...stopped.”

“She looked up at me with these huge blue eyes that were swimming in tears.”  Jess
stopped, clearing her throat. “And I looked right back through my own, and I know
this sounds crazy, but I heard Jarred's voice whisper, ‘Keep her safe.’  Not ‘I’m
sorry,’ or anything else, just ‘keep her safe.’”

***

Kayne wondered if Jessica realized she was sitting there with her arms out like she
was actually taking his daughter into them for the first time and rocking her. The
smile on her face was so bittersweet it shredded his heart, watching her remember
that moment.

Jess looked his way, her expression pleading. For what, he wasn’t sure.
Understanding
?
Before he could decipher it, she turned back into that memory.

“She looked up at me, really looked at me, and there was so much sadness in her eyes,
until I finally realized I wasn't the only one who'd suffered loss that night. I was
helpless to do anything but promise that I'd do everything in my power to keep her
safe. She gave me this gorgeous baby
smile like she understood and believed me, then curled up against me and went to sleep
with her tiny fist over my heart.”

Jessica smiled sadly. “She was still in my arms at sunrise when Mark, the doctor,
came to tell me Jarred was dead.”

It was so obvious that she'd loved her husband,
desperately
. Damn it, Kayne understood why she'd been instantly attached to the baby. Tasha had
been the last person her husband had held before he died, and perhaps there was some
absolution in that. But Kayne had lost so much fucking time, and he wasn't willing
to miss another moment of his daughter’s life.

The courtroom remained silent for a long moment
.

The judge pinned him with an intense gaze. “Officer Dobrescu, what would Tasha’s life
be like if I granted you custody? Have you thought about living arrangements, daycare?”

Kayne fought hard not to fidget. “Yes,
Your
Honor. I rent a small house, but she’d have her own bedroom, and I’m financially
stable enough to provide for all of her needs.”

The Judge looked over the top of his reading glasses. “Where will she be while you
work?”

Kayne hesitated. He knew Brian was going to kill him for this. “I know I’m going to
need daycare for her. And I can afford it, that’s not an issue, but I thought…perhaps
it would be time Jessica might like to spend with her.”

Jessica’s head snapped his direction, her eyes searching.
“Really?”
There was such hope in that word.

Kayne nodded. “I, of course, would pay you. I wouldn’t expect you to do it for free.”

The light drained out of Jessica’s eyes. Obviously that had been the wrong thing to
say, but he knew she already felt like he’d used her.

The judge cleared his throat. “Let’s not get too far ahead of ourselves. I’ve yet
to rule either way.”

Judge Johnson pulled his glasses off and rubbed his eyes with fingers and thumb. He
let out a weary sigh. “I'm not going to beat around the bush, folks. I have to admit
this concerns me.” He tapped the thick file in front of him. “If I were to rule on
face value of these documents, I'm not sure either of you would be getting custody
of the child, and I'd probably be forced to order Children's Services to verify the
welfare of the other children involved in this—”

Jessica gasped. “No!”

“The hell you say
!
” Kayne shot to his feet, outraged that anyone would think of taking Jessica's kids
from her. “You can't take those kids from her, they mean everything to her! You have
no idea what a bad mom looks like if you think Jessica is one!” Kayne seethed. God,
was this day not unbearable enough?
Now this?
What the fuck had his attorney said that would make a judge think Jessica was an
unfit parent?