Razing Kayne (19 page)

“Did he force you, Jess?” He gentled his hold.

“No, he...I...” How could she tell him sex was uncomfortable for her? Her first time
had been on her wedding night, and she'd expected there to be some pain, but it had
been more than a little, and she'd been in tears by the time he was done. After that,
while not painful, it had never been anything like what she'd read about in books.
She'd never orgasmed during intercourse, and Jarred wasn't much for foreplay. At first
she hadn't cared about more than pleasing him, she'd just wanted the closeness she
felt by giving herself to him. But it hadn't taken long before he started complaining
about her lack of response, then her lack of interest. Finally, his interest disappeared
too. Except for those moments in the darkest hours of night when he'd reach for her
in his sleep.

She'd been naive enough to believe it was his subconscious professing his true feelings
for her, but the truth was, he was reaching for someone else, someone in his dreams,
and she was only a warm body to live out the fantasy with. And when he was done, he'd
get angry and blame her for seducing him, before storming off to God knew where, sometimes
for days at a time.

Kayne buried his nose in her hair.
Inhaled deep.
“Even if he was your husband, it didn't take away your right to say no. It doesn't
take away your right now, either.”

Jess shook her head. “He didn't force me.”  He hadn't needed to; she'd never said
no to him. Not once. She’d always submitted, and he’d always been gentle with her,
at least in bed.

“You don't have to tell me. Whatever it is can be your secret, but know this: When
I take you to bed, it will be different from whatever it was or wasn't with him. I'll
go
slow
, because I want to learn all your sensitive spots. Like here.” He brushed his lips
behind her ear.

Jess shuddered, feeling her nipples pucker painfully tight in response.

***

Kayne turned her to face him. He knew he needed to be careful with her, needed to
go slow so he didn't scare her away. “Or here,” he said huskily. He grazed his teeth
across the pulse point at the base of her neck.

He knew he was playing with fire. Knew he wouldn't be able to finish what he was starting.
At least not the way he wanted to. He worked his way up her neck and across her jaw,
placing gentle kisses along the way. All the while, he slowly traced his hands up
her ribcage, lazily drawing circles with his thumbs until he brushed the underside
of her breasts and elicited a soft gasp from her.

“Okay?” he whispered. He pulled back slightly to see her response.

“Yes.” Her voice was breathless, her eyes glazed with want.

Her tank top was old and worn, leaving little to the imagination. Her breasts were
spectacular—round plump mounds with the nipples tilted up just slightly. Perfect.
He brushed the tips with the pads of his thumbs, and she gasped.

“So responsive,” he whispered against her ear. “I need you to promise me one thing,
Jessica.”

“
Wh-
what?” Her chest rose and fell quickly, her words little more than a breath.

He nuzzled her neck, traced the whorl of her ear with his tongue. “I need you to know
that I will never hurt you, that I will never force you.
Ever.
In return, I need you to promise that you'll be honest.”

“Oh-okay.”
Her fingers dug into his biceps as she clung to him.

“I want to put my mouth on you.” Kayne flicked her turgid nipples with his thumbs,
and Jess whimpered. “Okay?”

“Yes.” She moaned, so he did it again.

He bent low and closed his mouth over her right nipple, taking an easy drag though
the thin material. Jess trembled in his arms.
“So sensitive.”

The thin material was too much, though, and he'd gathered up the hem and removed it
before his lust-filled mind could stop him. He eyed her breasts appreciatively. “Beautiful.”
God wasn’t that an understatement. He’d never seen such natural beauty in his life.

High tight breasts, creamy white skin with mouthwatering, pale raspberry nipples and
aureoles so light they were barely there. This time when he suckled a perfect little
tit into his mouth, she moaned, laced her fingers through his hair, and arched into
him, even as she pulled him against her.
That's it, baby. Trust me.

He alternated back and forth from nipple to nipple, while his hands roamed her body.
“I want to touch you. Just touch, nothing more.”

She didn't pull away as his fingers tugged on the drawstring, freeing her pants at
the waist. Slowly he slid his hand lower, palming her belly as his fingers trailed
down, giving her plenty of time to pull away, to stop him. Kayne couldn’t suppress
the groan when he discovered she was naked under those pants. The tips of his fingers
slid through her soft curls and continued down to caress her slick folds.

“Open for me, baby.” He nibbled her ear as he nudged her legs further apart with his
knee. “You're so hot. Is that sweet honey for me?”

***

Jess could do little more than nod. She was on fire. Every nerve ending in her body
felt raw, and that terrified her. This felt so much like those things she'd only ever
read about. But none of those heroines had ever found themselves in a situation like
this, she was sure. And then she stopped thinking as one long finger stroked down
her slit. She couldn't stop Kayne’s name from falling from her lips.

“That's it, baby.” He circled the entrance to her core with a thick masculine finger.

Tiny tremors skittered through her body, awaking a deep ache within. Even touching
herself had never felt like this. To her shock, her hips thrust forward, her body
trying to take Kayne's tantalizing digit inside.

“Shh...
not
yet, baby. Easy.” He stroked, never touching her clit directly, teasing lazy circles
around it, poising for penetration only to retreat again and again. He suckled her
breasts, first one,
then
the other. Using his free hand, he teased her nipples, gently pinching and rolling
each in turn, keeping her keen.

Then he was on his knees, and before she realized what he was doing, Kayne leaned
in and scented her. “God, you smell incredible,” he mumbled.

Jess was about to protest—Jarred had only ever gone down on her once, and he'd obviously
not enjoyed it since he'd never done it again. But before she could form a coherent
thought, Kayne had parted her nether-lips and swept his tongue across her most sensitive
flesh, once, twice, and then again before gently suckling. The thick masculine finger
that had promised more sank deep, then dragged deliciously through her wetness only
to be joined by a second, pressing in, stretching her even as her muscles clamped
down hard, and she shattered without warning.

White light blinded her vision. Her whole body contracted around its epicenter as
a tidal wave rolled over her, pulling her under deep and hard, then throwing her back
to the surface, gasping and clinging, violently shuddering. He drew out and plunged
in again, relentless in his assault on her body and her senses. She could do little
more than hold on as he used his lips and fingers and tongue to bring her to orgasm
a second time. His name ripped from her lips.

***

Kayne scooped Jess up, holding her close. He had yet to put on his Kevlar vest, so
he was able to truly appreciate the feel of her body against his. But it served as
a reminder that now
wasn't the right time, and that he was seriously late for work. He continued down
the hall, into the bedroom, and settled her on the bed, then sat beside her. He braced
one hand on her other side so he could lean in close.
“Baby, thank you.”
He kissed her deeply, letting her sate herself on his lips. “I’ll see you tonight.”

Jess's eyes flew open. “But you didn't...” She abruptly stopped and looked away.
Swallowed hard.

Ah, Fuck! Way to go, moron!

“I want you, Jess.
So damned bad.”
He took her hand and placed it on his aching cock. He was so primed that when she
reflexively wrapped her slender fingers around him, he nearly came. “Don't doubt that
for even a second. I
want
you.
But not yet.
I wanted to show you the fire I see within you. You are a beautiful, responsive woman,
and I'm sorry I can't finish this. You have no idea how sorry. But when you're ready
to let me take you to bed, I'm going to need hours and hours, not minutes, with you.”

Kayne stood up, slowly backing away, all too aware of the way her gaze fastened on
his tented uniform pants. He couldn’t help but grin when the thought popped into his
mind: The tan uniform made everything look bigger.

“Thank you.” She swallowed hard, again. “Be safe…Gracie just found you...she deserves
more than stories of you.”

Jesus, he didn't deserve her!

Kayne stepped back toward the bed and bending
low,
braced his hands on either side of her. He kissed her once, twice, and again. The
pressure was gentle with no demands, only an attempt to convey what he couldn't put
into words, what he, himself, didn't even understand yet. And when she returned that
last kiss, the power of it shot straight through him, in equal parts, to his groin
and his heart.

Damn!
If he wasn't careful, he'd end up in serious trouble.

TWENTY

Saturday proved busy as always. In addition to Jess's normal routine, and, after a
long debate with herself, she decided to get a room ready for Kayne. After this morning,
she wasn't sure where she wanted him to sleep, but her body screamed that she wanted
him. Just thinking about the things he'd done to her with his mouth and hands, the
way she'd shattered without warning, scared the hell out of her as much as it turned
her on.

Jarred had been a selfish lover. It was the only logical conclusion, because she would
not admit to any possibility that her response had been to Kayne himself. She reasoned
it could have been anyone with her that morning, and she would have responded the
same way.

Ocean front property anyone?

After some debate, she decided to give Kayne the in-law suite. The room was the largest,
aside from the master suite, with a king-sized bed already in place and a double Jacuzzi
in the bathroom. It would be the most comfortable for Kayne, and it was the only free
room in their closed-off wing of the mansion. Though she very rarely used the rooms
in the main part of the house for work, she kept their living separate.

She pulled out the new linens she'd recently purchased, a beautiful silk duvet set
in a block patchwork pattern of blue, silver, and chocolate. She kept the accent pillows
to a minimum, and, with Maddy's help, installed the coordinating curtains. The overall
look was masculine enough to suit Kayne, while still homey.

Yet, when it came time to move his clothes and personal items, Jess couldn't work
up the courage to actually do it. In the end, she decided to let him make the final
decision and moved on with other items on her list.

Kayne had several boxes of beautiful old leather-bound, first-edition books, printed
in Hebrew and Cyrillic, which she carefully placed on upper shelves in the library’s
second-story stacks. Well out of the reach of little hands. When that was done, Jess
and the kids made cupcakes for the party and set them aside to cool. While the kids
made birthday cards for the birthday girl, Jess carefully cleared out and packed up
a display cabinet full of Jarred's antique toy fire trucks. Then she unpacked and
replaced them with Kayne's impressive collection of beautiful Russian artifacts.

Jess was truly surprised at the quality workmanship on items he’d claimed were Romanov
era replicas. The Faberge eggs especially appealed to her, specifically the large
blue and white one with the elephant on top. The other three were just as beautiful:
a golden egg with red and white enamel and what looked like cupids arrows and red
stones; a mauve and gold egg covered in a trellis of jewels, containing a silver swan
on a jewel like lake, and last, but certainly not least, a pale blue enamel over gold
egg with a flower basket on top.

Additionally he had several jewel-encrusted swords, a set of daggers, a large, intricately
inlaid wooden chest covered in jewel-like stones, and a smaller gold and silver chest
with stones inlaid to resemble stalks of wheat with a matching tiara inside.

Kayne had told her these items, along with the books and a collection of artwork still
stored at his parents, had been a wedding gift from Oksana's parents.
With the exception of the inlaid wood chest and the tiara.
Kayne said the wood chest was full of costume jewelry, and that Oksana had become
upset when her mother had shown up with the gift. As such, Oksana had never allowed
their children to play with the things. Curious, Jess tried to open the box to view
its content, but apparently it had a hidden lock, because it wouldn’t open for her.

Jess gave up and placed the box on a display shelf. She'd ask Kayne about it sometime,
she decided. For now, she had too much to do to play around with some pretty baubles
.*
**

Kayne sat in his patrol car outside of Darcy's Kids as two o'clock rolled around.
He signed off duty just as Jess pulled into the parking lot. She'd been on his mind
all day long. He wasn't sure if going down on her would fall under the heaven or hell
category. She'd been so damned responsive he'd forgotten his end game—to show her
she was desirable. He wasn't sure who'd learned that lesson. He just hoped to hell
he hadn't fucked up.

She gave him a cautious but seemingly genuine smile as he approached.

“Hey, baby.” He brushed his lips across her temple. He turned his attention back to
his phone, knowing that if he stared for too long, he'd get hard. Hell, he was already
halfway there from smelling that soft almonds and vanilla scent, mixed with what was
uniquely her.

“This phone program is very cool.” He hoped the benign conversation would give him
a moment to will his libido into submission. Jess had sent him an app that would link
her calendar to his.

She smiled sweetly. “When I update mine, it will send you a notice and update yours
as well, unless you want me to turn the feature off.”

“No, this is good. I like knowing where you are.” He pointed her out on his GPS feature.
“Do I need to do something with my phone so you can see where I am and what I'm doing?”

“Yes, but I'll show you how, later. I need to get food in before it melts. Carry a
tray of cupcakes?” She pointed to the covered trays stacked on the front passenger
seat and floorboard.

“Those are cupcakes?” He couldn’t help but admire the beautifully arranged cakes shaped
and decorated to look like a large basket of wildflowers.

“Somewhere under all the icing, there are cupcakes.” Jess laughed.

What a beautiful sound.

Her voice sobered. “So what are you doing here?”

“I thought I'd—” Kayne stopped midsentence, suddenly certain he had made a huge miscalculation
in coming. Not once had it occurred to him that she might not want him with her, that
maybe she didn't want to share this part of her life.

Oksana had never wanted him around the Russian Community Center. She claimed it was
her place to be free from the duties and responsibilities of being a wife and mother.
As if she'd ever been either.

Kayne took a step backward. “I'm sorry. Maybe I should go.”

“Kayne, stop.”
Jess caught his arm. “I didn't know if you were here on business, or if you decided
to meet us for the party. That's all.”

“I wanted to see what this place was all about.” He studied her, trying to get a read
on her true feelings. If she was unhappy about his arrival, she hid it well.

Jess shrugged. Her eyes scanned the property. “As you can see, it's not much, but
you're welcome. Just don't be surprised if someone puts you to work, or take it personally
if your uniform gets a cold shoulder or a cagey look from some of the parents.”

“I hadn't thought of that. Maybe I
should
go.” He felt foolish for presuming she'd want him here. This was her life, her friends,
and he didn't belong.

“Come on, you're here.
Besides Judge Johnson is here.”
She pointed to an old, rusted-out Chevy truck. “You can meet his granddaughter, Tiffany.
She’s Maddy’s best friend and spends a lot of time at our house.”

Kayne closed his eyes tightly. Contrary to what Jess believed, he knew in his heart
he’d come so very close to losing Gracie yesterday.
Jess’s next words pulled Kayne out of his thoughts. “Just don't arrest anyone unless
they have an outstanding warrant for homicide. Anything else gets overlooked today.”

Kayne nodded, grabbed one of the trays of cupcakes, and followed Jess through the
door he’d seen the kids disappear through mere seconds after the Tahoe had come to
a complete stop. He'd thought Jess was exaggerating until he received a few wary looks
from several of the adults. They had that cornered fight-or-flight look about them.
He fought to stay relaxed and ignore it, hoping if he stayed calm, they would too.

Judge Johnson jovially slapped Kayne on the shoulder. “Now this is what I like to
see. How are you doing, my boy? I see the whole family is here.”  His fingers tightened
on Kayne’s shoulder
.
“You can call me Buck.”

“Pretty good.
Fairly uneventful day at the
office
.”

He took the tray of cupcakes from Jess. “That's what I like to hear too, especially
at the start of fishing season.”

Jess rolled her eyes. “Don't forget hockey, football, baseball, and basketball season.
Oh and hunting season.
This town all but shuts down for the first official day of hunting season.”
Jess laughed.

“Nice to see you aren't holding a grudge.” Buck leaned in and kissed her cheek.

Jess frowned. “Oh, I'm furious with you, but that's work and...
well
, this isn’t. Which, speaking of, are you allowed to come watch game six of the Stanley
cup playoffs at my—our—place next Sunday?
Figured we might as well make use of that theater downstairs.”

Kayne loved the built-in movie theater-like media room in Jess’s basement with its
wall-size flat screen and stadium-style seating. He could easily imagine watching
the playoff game in there.

Buck looked at the ground, rubbed the back of his neck. “I don't know, Jess,” he hedged.
“Kayne and his attorney might not feel comfortable with that. The case may be closed,
but I don't want anyone questioning its outcome.”

“I don't mind. I'll let Brian know. He seems like a good sort, he might even be speaking
to me by then.” Kayne laughed. Brian was anything but happy with him, and, in a way,
he could understand why. Brian had made it clear that he felt Kayne had made a colossal
mistake by giving in instead of fighting for rightful custody.
Kayne hadn’t called him back yet, but he knew he couldn’t do that. He could not rip
Gracie or Jessica or any of the rest of the kids’ world apart.

“Well, then it's settled.” Jess thumbed over her shoulder. “I need to run back out
to the truck for a minute. Keep an eye on Gracie and Isabelle?”

“Will do, short-stuff.”
  Kayne laughed when she wrinkled her nose at the endearment. He watched her walk
away before turning to locate the munchkins. The east wall was a series of
French doors that had been thrown wide, allowing for an unobstructed view of the playground.
A man lurked nearby, and his body language bothered Kayne.

“You're Maddy's new dad.” A little girl hurled herself into Kayne’s side for a hug,
pulling his attention away from the man he'd been watching. He’d swear the guy’s focus
was on Grace and Isabelle
.
He assumed he was one of the other parents, but something about him didn't sit right,
and that left Kayne feeling uneasy.

Kayne looked down into the smiling face of a precious little girl with Downs Syndrome.
“I am.” Kayne’s own smile was bittersweet. He hadn’t been anyone’s dad for a long
time, and a part of him felt disloyal to his deceased children
.

“I'm her bestest friend, Tiffany.” The little girl bounced up and down excitedly.

“It's very nice to meet you, Tiffany.”

Maddy ran up to them and grabbed Tiffany’s hand.
“Sorry, Kayne.”
She started tugging on that hand. “Come on, Tiffany, I need a partner for the three-legged
race.”

“But I only have two legs,” Tiffany argued, letting Maddy lead her away. Kayne couldn't
hold back a chuckle over her sweet innocence.

Buck shook his head. “Maddy is an amazing child. My granddaughter can be very challenging
at times, but Maddy has defended and befriended her from the day they met. Even on
days like today, Maddy seeks her out to make sure Tiffany gets to participate, even
knowing they're going to lose.” Buck gave a hearty chuckle as the two came in dead
last
.
“Boy, she does it with such grace and dignity.” Maddy gave Tiffany a high-five and
a huge hug, as though they'd won first place.

“I thought Cody was your only child?” Kayne looked pointedly at Buck. To say Kayne
had been shocked to learn that fact after court yesterday was an understatement. He
still didn’t know what to think about how close he’d come to losing his daughter again.

Judge Johnson had the good grace to look guilty. “Ah, yes. Cody got a young lady in
the family way, so to speak, and refused to do right by her. When little Tiffany there
was born, her mama abandoned her at the hospital, refusing to raise a child with Downs
Syndrome. She at least had the decency to name Cody as the father. Regrettably, Cody
refused to step in and raise her. My wife, who'd always wanted a little girl, took
one look at Tiffany, and it was love at first sight. She’s been with us since the
day we brought her home from the hospital ten years ago.”

“How does Cody feel about her now?” Kayne couldn't help but ask. How the hell could
he turn his back on his daughter?
Especially one as precious as Tiffany.

The judge gave him a long steady look as if to say, “Do you really have to ask?” before
he replied, “Looks like that pretty little wife of yours could use some help.”

Kayne glanced over his shoulder in time to see Jess carrying two giant, covered food
containers, one stacked on top of the other. Of course she'd be supplying the food.
He mentally kicked himself for not asking what she needed out of the truck.