Ready to Wed (5 page)

I knew she was supposed to be pool side with Leah and Maddie, so I threw on some board shorts, ran my hands through my hair and hurried out to the door in search of my family. I just about took out Leah in my attempt.

“Oh my God, Logan, would you slow down?” Leah said, catching her breath after having probably lost a year or two of her life from being scared out of her mind when I came barreling out of my hotel suite straight into her.

“Sorry! Was just in a hurry to get to…hey, aren’t you supposed to be down at the pool with Clare and Maddie?” I asked suspiciously. I could see the straps of her bathing suit peeking out from under her cover up and a towel was tucked under her arm, but there was no Maddie or Clare anywhere.

“I was, but they never showed. I was on my way to investigate. Want to help?” she asked with an arched brow.

My answer was to turn and knock on Clare’s door. It wasn’t like her to blow off Leah without so much as a word. I know it was only a trip to the pool, but Clare was raised in the South and her manners were impeccable. I took her to a dinner party a week or so ago, not really explaining where we were going, and she about died when we showed up…without a hostess gift. A hostess gift? What the hell was that? Apparently it was a thing; a big thing to Clare. The next day she’d sent a card and a gift to apologize for her fiancé’s oversight. Living in the South was a new and different world.

After a few moments, the door finally opened and Clare emerged, dressed in a pair of yoga pants and tank top. Definitely not pool attire.

“Oh. Hey, guys,” she said, before turning around and walking back into the bedroom. Leah and I turned to each other confused, before walking into the suite together.

I looked around and everything was as neat as a pin. There were no clothes, no shoes…nothing. It looked like it did the first moment we walked in a few days ago.
What the hell was going on?

Before I had a second longer to ponder, I heard soft sobs coming from Maddie’s room. I immediately went to her, opening the bedroom door to find her curled up on her bed with her knees tucked under her chin. She was dressed in her hot pink Dora the Explorer bathing suit and a towel was lying next to her.

“Hey, Princess. What’s the matter?”

Her eyes opened and focused on me and she briefly wiped away the tears before sitting up. I sat down next to her and she curled her body into mine. I loved when she did this. It was natural now. She didn’t even have to think about it. When I put her to bed, or snuggled with her on the couch, she just melted into me. Such trust. I didn’t know how in the world I ever deserved it, but I would spend the rest of my life trying to be a man who was worthy of it.

“Mommy says we have to go home.”

My stomach fell to the floor and I couldn’t breathe.

“What?” I managed to say, before looking up to see Leah’s horrified face. She had stopped at the entry way, obviously not wanting to overwhelm Maddie…but still curious as to what had made our girl cry.

“I told her I didn’t want to leave the beach. I told her I wanted to see her in her pretty dress.”

“And what did she say?” I asked hesitantly.

“She said I would, but not yet. She said we had to get home. It wasn’t safe staying here.”

I took a deep breath. Clare was freaking out again. She was panicking and rushing home where she felt safe. Where she felt I was safe.

“It’s okay Princess. We’re not going anywhere okay? I’ll fix it.”

“Are you sure? Mommy said…”

“I know what she said, but I’ll change her mind, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Leah, can you take Maddie to the pool for a bit while I talk to Clare?”

“Sure thing!” she said brightly, trying to lighten the mood. “Come on, Short Stack,” she said, holding out her hand to Maddie, “Let’s go play in the water!”

Maddie held her hand out to Leah and gave a small giggle which was progress. Leah scooped her up and exited the bedroom. By the time they were leaving the suite, I could hear the two laughing. One girl down, one more to go.

~Clare~

There were times during Ethan’s illness when I literally thought my chest was caving in. The doctors told me it was due to stress. Acute panic attacks, I guess. Sometimes there were just too many things to remember—what drugs he was supposed to take and when, what doctor’s appointments to go to on what days, and what needed to be done…just in case. I kept my cool most of the time. I kept my brave face to show Ethan and the rest of the world. But there were times when I literally couldn’t breathe…when it felt like there were so many thoughts in my head that if I had just one more, it would literally explode.

And that’s when I would just shut down. I think it was for my own sanity. An off switch or something would engage and I would just shut down for a few hours until the breath returned to my lungs and my chest felt like it was back to its normal size.

As I was packing everything back into my suitcase the day before my wedding, I wondered how quickly we could get a flight back to Richmond. Listening to my daughter cry in the room next to me, I felt like I was moments away from that switch being flipped again.

He passed out. Right in front of me. The doctors told us he was going to be fine. We caught it early they said. A little bit of chemo and radiation and it should be fine, they said. I took a breath and stopped worrying after they told us that. He wasn’t Ethan. There wasn’t anything poisoning his brain, and he wasn’t going to die on me. We would get through this. Right after we said our vows and celebrated our marriage.

But then he nearly passed out on that beach and I forgot how to breathe again. Every fear, every moment of agony came rushing back. I told myself I would fight for him…that I would be strong for us. But…Oh God, what if the doctors were wrong? What if he wasn’t okay? What if he died, just like Ethan and I became a widow…again.

Neat folding turned into frantic packing. I started tossing everything in the suitcase without any sort of organization. TSA would just screw it all up right? I took one last look at my wedding dress, tucked away in its garment bag and put those sad thoughts behind me.

We needed to go home. Logan needed to go home. I would not lose another husband.

A knock on the door pulled my attention from thoughts and I saw Logan come into the bedroom. I had completely forgotten I had let him and Leah in a few minutes ago. I was so lost in myself I had barely registered opening the door.

“Hey, what is this I hear about us leaving?” he said, walking forward to take a seat on the bed next to me.

“We need to go home. I don’t feel right being here. You need to be home, with your doctors and immediate care if you need it.”

“And our wedding?” he asked.

I physically flinched at the reminder. By this time tomorrow, had things been different, Leah and my mother would be helping me into my wedding gown, making the final touches to my makeup. We would most likely be laughing as we watched Maddie twirl around in her dress, elated over her role as flower girl.

“We can wait. I just…I need you to be okay.”

I looked up just then into the eyes of the man I’d fallen in love with; the man who had stolen my heart, and saw nothing but love. His steel gray eyes held mine and I could do nothing but stare back into their depths.

Without breaking eye contact, he took my hand in his, intertwining our fingers and bringing them to his heart.

“Do you feel that?”

I nodded, feeling the warm, solid beat of his heart below my fingertips.

“That’s me telling you I’m right here, and I’m going to be right here forever, babe. I know you’re scared. I know you’re trying to be brave, but please don’t run.”

“I’m not running.”

“Yes, you are. You’re running back to where you feel safe. Whisking me back to my doctor, taking me to the hospital isn’t going to change anything. We were just there. I passed out because I had a bit too much sun. Let it be that, okay? But please, stay here with me. Marry me tomorrow. Become my wife. Because nothing is going to make me stronger than having you by my side.”

Before another second passed, I leaned forward, fusing my body to his and kissing him like it was my last dying wish. He instantly responded, flipping me so my back was flat against the mattress, as he hovered above me.

“Don’t tease me, Clare,” he warned. His eyes were already darker, and I could feel how much he wanted me. He gently rocked into the apex of my thighs just to remind me how hard and ready I’d made him.

“I’m not teasing.”

That’s all it took. He was on me in nanoseconds. His hands were everywhere, running up the inside of my thighs, pushing up my tank top to rip my bra from my body.

“Don’t ever make me wait that long again,” he said taking my breast in his hand, gently flicking the nipple with his thumb causing my toes to curl. “I think I almost went crazy.”

“Oh God, yes,” I moaned as his head descended on my breast, taking my taut peak into his mouth.

“Good, we agree. No sex is bad.”

For the next several hours, he continued to remind me exactly how much I missed over the last few days.

~Logan~

The elevator door closed with a soft click, and I turned to my beautiful bride to be. The moment our eyes collided, she lost her cool and burst into a fit of laughter.

“It’s thirty minutes after seven,” she said, trying to cover her laughter with her hand. Her vintage engagement ring twinkled under the bright lights above.

“Uh huh,” I confirmed.

“We’re late for our own rehearsal.”

I smirked, remembering twenty minutes earlier when a very happy and contented Clare was sprawled out on our bed. She’d been naked and sighing peacefully from the three orgasms she’d just screamed out under my expert touch. She stretched like a cat, looked over at the clock and froze.

“Oh shit!” she’d said. “We’re going to be late!”

“Late for what?” I’d said, crawling up her body, more than ready for round two…or three. I’d lost count.

“Our rehearsal! We’re getting married tomorrow!”

“Oh shit!” We’d both shouted in unison, as clothes went flying and buttons were snapped and hair was tamed.

We flew out of our hotel suite and made it to the elevator in record time. And now we couldn’t hold in the laughter. We were late to our own rehearsal because we’d been too busy…getting busy upstairs.

“Oh God, I’m never going to be able to look your father in the eye again,” I said.

“Oh my God, you don’t think he’ll know, do you?” she asked, completely mortified.

“Have you taken a look at us Clare? Your clothes look like they were thrown on while sharing a car with a bunch of clowns, and my hair? You can actually see Clare sized dents in it from where you were holding on for dear life.”

She turned and took a good look in the floor to ceiling mirror of the elevator. Her eyes went wide as she took in her appearance. I thought she looked fucking hot, but I knew the exact reason she looked that way. She looked thoroughly used, and really damn happy about it. But I didn’t exactly like the idea of my future father in law seeing her that way.

She started to quickly adjust her skirt and tank top, making it look more presentable. She grabbed her large mane of burgundy red hair and tied it in a bun at the nape of her neck. Within seconds, she went from sexy vixen to classy woman, and I loved both.

The elevator dinged, and as we exited, she gave me a knowing smile. Then she glanced up and suddenly looked horrified, “Fix your hair!” she whispered.

I laughed, but did as I was told, trying to smooth down my dark tresses without much luck. She always told me I had “just fucked” hair so I didn’t know exactly what she wanted me to do with it. I ran my hands through it, and messed it up a bit and she seemed pleased.

As we walked outside to our ceremony site, we were greeted by just about everyone we knew.

“They’re here!” Leah yelled, “Finally!” She gave us a look. One that said she knew exactly why we were late.

We were then rushed around and put in places and everything that happened after that was a blur. I always thought rehearsals were strange. It was like dry humping; Almost, but not the real thing. There was a nice dinner afterwards, and toasts were delivered, but no one actually got married and I definitely didn’t get a wedding night. We were spending the night apart…Our wedding party had made sure of that.

Well, at least I’d taken care of us ahead of time.

“Why are you grinning like a moron?” Leah asked, smacking the back of my head.

“Just so damn happy,” I shrugged.

“Gonna go puke now,” she muttered, as we all made our way to the restaurant, having finished our practice run of tomorrow’s nuptials.

“Oh, come on now, Leah. Don’t you see yourself settling down one day? Finding that special someone who will make you go all mushy inside?” I grinned.

“Yep, just officially barfed a little in my mouth. And no, I will never settle down. There isn’t a man in the world who could handle all this,” she said, waving her hands up and down her body.

“You don’t think my buddy Declan could handle all…that?” I waved my finger up and down, mimicking her motions.