Real Vampires Hate Their Thighs (36 page)

“Right. Sorry. I should have taken this downstairs to her room. There’s still time . . .”

“No, carry on.” I waved my hand, my voice rough with tears I struggled not to shed. I cleared my throat. “I’m just playing with you. We’ll be in my bedroom. If we hear anything, we’ll just turn the TV on loud.”

Nate hurried out of the room and I gave in and actually shed a few tears. First for Ray because I felt like I’d failed him. Chip was right. A good mentor would have taught Ray to appreciate his new vampire powers, not obsess about what he couldn’t have. And how about Valdez? I couldn’t believe he’d taken off after Ray like that. He’d done it for me, because he sure didn’t care if Ray flew into the sunrise or not. When the knock came at the door and I realized Flo had arrived, I blew my nose and forced a smile. I didn’t want her walking in on this sobfest.

“What is this? Why are you sad?” Flo gave me a hug. “Where is your bodyguard? I don’t think I ever see you by yourself.”

“He went after Ray, who is upset and just took off. No guards, nothing.” I took a shuddery breath. “Stupid idiot. I hope I never have to mentor another new vampire. They are nothing but trouble.”

“You’ve got that right, girlfriend. I sure won’t do it.” Flo took my arm and pulled me to the bedroom. “Look at you. You bought the green dress after all? It looks great on you. And a six. You are so skinny!”

I couldn’t believe I didn’t care. Hadn’t even weighed in for the last few hours. No point. The waistband was cutting into me and I couldn’t wait to get out of this beautiful dress. Oh, God, I was
not
going to cry again. Wait. Really, I
wasn’t
going to cry. Gee, maybe I was actually getting over my body image obsession.

“I didn’t buy the dress. Ray bought it for me. To wear to the parties tonight. He was so proud of me.” Oops. Another little crying jag. Stupid. I wiped my eyes and blew my nose.

Flo patted my shoulder. “He’s smart. He knows you did this to look good for him. For tomorrow night. Now, show me these three dresses. Do you like them? Is one your favorite?”

“I like all three of them. Each one has something special about it.” I pulled the first garment bag out of the closet. “And I didn’t lose the weight for Ray; I lost it for myself. It made me feel great. For about five minutes anyway.” I unzipped the bag. The first dress was the black one that would work even when I gained the weight back. Good thing.

“Pretty. Black is always elegant. Try it on.” Flo got busy inspecting the shoes and purse while I pulled the jewelry out of the safe. “Oh, these are real. Can you keep them?”

“No, they’re on loan. Ray talked about buying me something, but I won’t let him.” I sniffed and then decided enough of that. I glanced at the clock. The men had been gone less than an hour. How long did a temper tantrum take anyway? Had Valdez just trailed Ray or had he confronted him and tried to force him to come back? They both had been itching for a fight. Maybe they’d pounded each other and worked off some steam. Oops. More tears. No, not happening. I sucked it up and slipped into the black dress.

“Pants? The designer made you pants?” Flo walked around me. “Cute. But I don’t think so. Not for such a big night. But that’s just my opinion. What does Israel say?”

“He doesn’t say. I haven’t asked him yet. But his first reaction was just like yours. No pants.” I loosened the belt. Oh, hell, I hadn’t gone through all of this just to give up now. I needed one more night of skinny and I didn’t have a nighttime supplement. Ian might have called and I’d turned off my cell at the parties. And Jerry. Had he tried to call me? I’d been so wrapped up in the Ray drama, I hadn’t given a thought to what was going on with the Campbell Clan. I grabbed my purse and turned on my cell. One message.

“Gloriana, this is Ian MacDonald. Trina didn’t show up tonight but I’ve got another mortal I can send you. Call me and let me know when you want your nighttime supplement.” I closed the phone.

Flo pursed her lips. “Are you going to call him back? What happened to that bitch who wanted you? Now she doesn’t show up?”

“She tried to kill me. I had to take care of her.” I sat on the side of the bed, then jumped up. Couldn’t wrinkle the dress. “Unzip me.”

“Wait a minute. She tried to kill you?” Flo unzipped the dress. “I hope you ripped out her throat.”

“No, just did the whammy on her. She’s over the whole vampire obsession. Thinks we’re a figment of her imagination.” I stepped out of the dress and hung it up. Did I want to do one more treatment or not? I’d try on the next dress and see how it fit, then decide.

“You are too good to her.” Flo unzipped the next garment bag. “I like blue. But the colors and fabrics are strange together.”

“Wait till you see it on. Ray liked this one. It’s different.” I slipped my arms into the sheer sleeves and let Flo zip me up. I did love the tattoo thing. This time I could use Ian’s webcam to at least see some of the effect. Cool. But maybe not what I wanted on the green carpet.

“I see what you mean. There are designs on the material.” Flo walked around me. “I like the shoulders. Pretty beading.”

“See? I look like I have tattoos. But it feels snug.” Snug? I had a vise around my waist. “Does it look too tight?”

“Do you want to have tattoos? Oh, yes, Israel has them. On him they’re sexy.” Flo stepped back and studied me. “It
is
a little clingy in the middle. You can’t gain another ounce, girlfriend. I hate for you to drink Ian’s stuff, but maybe you should.”

“Well, let me try on the red dress. I guess it really is my favorite.” I let her unzip me and carefully hung up the blue dress. Good thing I didn’t have to breathe because it had not been an option in that dress.

Flo opened the last bag. “Oh, yes! Now, this is a well-made dress! It reminds me of a couture piece I once bought in Paris.”

“It does look like a classic, doesn’t it? I guess that’s why I’m drawn to it. You know how I am about vintage stuff.” I slipped into the dress, loving the feel of the silk. “Well, are you going to zip me up?”

“I’m trying, but don’t think I can.” Flo tugged. “Sorry, Glory, but there is more you than there is dress. Have you weighed tonight?”

“No. I was afraid to.” I picked up the webcam and looked at the front of the dress. I loved the way the dress plunged. And the color was perfect with my skin and hair. The jewelry, shoes, everything about the outfit made me look like the lady I’d always yearned to be when I’d first met Jerry way back when. Oh, crap. Was that what this was all about?

Yeah, probably was. I wanted to walk down that carpet on Ray’s arm and look like a first-class lady. The kind any man would be proud to be seen with. Maybe have Jerry get jealous and his mother finally admit that I wasn’t the lowborn whore she’d always called me. In this dress, I could greet the queen and not be ashamed. I saw the sheen of tears in my eyes and ordered myself to dry up. Enough of dreams and looking back. This wasn’t going to happen without drastic action.

“Suck it in, Glory. I think I can force it.” Flo pulled on the fabric.

“No, don’t! It might tear.” I stroked the skirt and realized I had no choice if I wanted to wear this dress. And I
really
wanted to wear this one. “I’m calling Ian.” I picked up the phone.

“Are you sure?” Flo put her hand on mine. “You know I have no problem with you drinking from some mortal. All for it. But his special stuff.” She made a face. “If it makes you do strange things, like walk around and get in the sun.
Mia amica
, it’s too dangerous.”

“It’s the last time, Flo. And I’ve got Valdez to keep me from walking into the sun.” I glanced at the closed bedroom door. Not back yet. I hoped I had Valdez. What if he and Ray landed at MacDonald’s stronghold and got into it with the guards? A dozen scenarios flashed through my mind, all of them ending badly. No, couldn’t happen.

“Anyway, I’m resigned. After this, I have to just let nature take its course. Which means it’s back to the old Glory size and shape.”

“No more of Ian’s drinks?” Flo tried on a pair of the diamond earrings and studied herself in the webcam. “If it’s money that’s stopping you, I can always help you out.” She looked at me, her eyes shining. “You know that, don’t you? If this is something you truly want.”

“Thanks, dear friend.” I hugged her. “Your money is better spent on those earrings for yourself. Or make Richard buy them for you. They look great on you. Valentine’s Day is coming up. The name of the jeweler is on the box.” I sighed. “Now, let me call Ian. While I’m at it, I’m going to ask if he’s seen Ray. Or Jerry, for that matter.”

“Jeremiah?” Flo stopped in the act of trying on a necklace. “Why would he go to see Ian?”

“To kill him. And he’d take the entire Campbell Clan with him. Remember the feud?”

“The laird’s in town?” Flo dropped the necklace and jumped up. “This is not good. I must take Richard and leave here. We should go back to Austin. Or maybe take a little honeymoon trip to Tahiti.”

“Why?” If I didn’t know better, I’d think Flo was actually scared of something.

“Well, in a stupid fit of honesty and wanting to have open communication, I told Richard about a little affair I had once.” Flo took off the diamond earrings and spat a few Italian words as she paced the bedroom floor. “Damn those TV talk shows. I should not listen to them.”

“And am I right in thinking the laird, the laird of Clan Campbell, was the man you played footsie with?” I had to smile. So Mag, the very superior witch of the castle, had been betrayed by her beloved husband. This was too sweet.

“More than our feet were playing, Glory. And it was long ago. My name was totally different then. I can’t even remember for sure what I called myself.” Flo helped me pull off the red dress and hang it up.

“So why would Richard care about it?”

“Because I made the mistake of saying I’d had a grand passion for Angus. That he had been the only man to ever really satisfy me before Richard came along.” Flo opened her purse and pulled out her lipstick. “Not true, of course. But I was telling a story, enjoying the way Richard was getting jealous. You know?”

I knew Flo and her little dramas. I could imagine that she had embellished the hell out of the thing. By the time she’d gotten through telling the tale, she and Angus had worked their way through a plaid version of the Kama Sutra, accompanied by bagpipes. No wonder she didn’t want Richard to meet him. Well acquainted with Flo and her appetites, Richard would want to make sure Angus knew that his wife was off the market, permanently. And the Angus I remembered didn’t like to be
told
anything.

“Does Mag know about this affair?”

Flo jumped and smeared her lipstick. “Of course not! We are dear friends. It would be like if I had a little fling with your Jeremiah.” She got up and grabbed my hand. “Which I have not. I swear on the blessed Virgin that I have not, Glory.” She crossed herself for good measure and looked skyward.

“Magdalena cannot know. The only reason Angus and I got together was that he and his wife were taking a break. They hadn’t lived together for, oh, decades then. And Angus was so charming.” Flo got a faraway look in her eyes. “I tell you, Glory, if Jeremiah is anything like his father?
Mio Dio
, what a lover.” She sighed. “But I moved on and now my Ricardo is everything to me.”

I couldn’t imagine the stern Scot Angus Campbell I knew, who made sure the women in his Clan were “protected” just like they’d always been in the Middle Ages, as a wild man in bed, but I just smiled and nodded. Hey, Jerry certainly drove me wild and had that protective gene too.

“Richard and Angus can’t come within shouting distance of each other. You understand?”

“Sure. So I guess that means you’ll be leaving L.A. as soon as possible.”

“Right. Richard has been telling me he needs to get back to Austin for some business of his mother’s. So I guess that means no honeymoon right now.” Flo tapped her chin. “I know. I’ll tell Richard you need us to hurry back to help with some crisis at your little shop. You have one, don’t you? You usually do.” She smiled, like this was a good thing.

“Well, sure. So glad I could help. I just had to fire one of my weekend night clerks. You can go work for me. How’s that?” I grinned, knowing that Florence da Vinci Mainwaring had never clerked in a store a day in her life.

“I’ll do it. Even if I have to”—she shuddered—“make change.”

“Great. Take off. Tell Richard I begged you to help me. Pack and arrange to ship your clothes home. You and Rich can shift out of here right after sunset tomorrow. Sorry you’ll miss the Grammys, though. Ray got you seats in the balcony, first row.”

“Now I’m sad and upset. I’ll watch you on TV. Everyone in your shop will watch with me.” Flo hugged me. “You really are my best friend. But I must save my marriage. If the whole Clan is here with Angus, Richard might get hurt if he tries to start something. I can’t let that happen.”

“Of course not. So go. I’ll call Ian and see if he’s got someone to send me.” I sat on the bed.

“Will you be all right? When will Valdez be back?” Flo paused in the doorway.

“Any minute, I’m sure. Head out. I’m fine.” I waved her out and hit speed dial for Ian. I heard the hall door close just as Ian picked up.

“Gloriana, I was hoping to hear from you. I took the liberty of going ahead and sending someone to you. He should be there momentarily.”

“Thanks, Ian. I’m cutting it pretty close to dawn.” I glanced at the clock. “Uh, have you seen Ray tonight?”

“Yes, he just left here. We had a nice talk. And I sold him a new supplement to try.” Ian chuckled. “Relax, Glory. I can practically hear you grinding your teeth through the phone. Ray’s being cautious. I told him to wait until after his awards show to try it.”

“Well, that’s just swell of you, Ian. Thanks a lot.” I shut the phone before I could say more. When there was a knock on the hall door, I threw a robe on over my underwear and went to answer it. I looked through the peephole and saw a tall handsome man standing there. Oh, yeah, Ian had said the mortal he had sent was a “he.” Hmm.