Read Real Vampires Hate Their Thighs Online

Authors: Gerry Bartlett

Tags: #Horror & Ghost Stories

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BOOK: Real Vampires Hate Their Thighs
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Anyway, I knocked. Waited a beat, then turned the knob. I opened the door and came face-to-face with a woman I recognized immediately. I had her CDs at home. She was up for a Grammy, album of the year. And she was wearing one of Ray’s T-shirts and nothing else.
I snarled. Yep, a primitive snarl that I barely kept my fangs out of. You should have seen that bimbo’s face. She jumped back a full three feet, then landed on her skinny ass.
“What the hell’s going on here?” I played the outraged fiancée to the hilt. Sure, this was a pretend engagement, but I doubt
she
knew that. I stomped into the room, Valdez on my heels. He got with the program, his growl raising the hair on my arms. I halted within scratching range of the woman’s eyes and gave my sidekick an encouraging pat.
“I, uh, Ray, I mean . . .” She glanced at the rumpled sheets on the king-size bed. Big mistake.
I reached down and grabbed her by one of her twig arms. I could have snapped it between two fingers and actually thought about it. Not that I’m in love with Ray, though I’m really, really fond of him. But this betrayal hurt. Betrayal? Whoa. I didn’t have the right to think like that. Still, this did feel like a cheap shot. I mean, what was he thinking, bringing a woman into
our
bed? At least I took my action off the premises.
I blinked back stupid tears and sniffed. Second big mistake. I got a whiff of human blood pumping through bimbo’s veins and I was suddenly starved. Too bad her pale face made it clear she’d already donated tonight. Damn it. Ray’d had sex
and
dinner.
“Get out before I . . .” I lifted my fist, narrowly missing her surgically altered nose before I waved it at a pile of clothes by the bed. Tiny push-up bra that Victoria’s Secret didn’t even carry in
my
size, miniskirt that I couldn’t have squeezed over even one of my thighs and a T-shirt that she’d obviously borrowed from a Chihuahua. Shit.
“Take your clothes and get the hell out of here.” I heard my voice quiver and hated it. The shower went off. “Now.” Okay, that was a hiss. Much better.
Little Miss Stick Figure got the message and hustled her butt like her feet were on fire. Valdez nipped at her heels in case she needed incentive. I slammed the door as soon as they both cleared it. I knew Valdez would keep her moving until she hit the hall. Then he’d come back to sit next to the door and listen in. Fine. But I didn’t want or need his eyes on me during this showdown.
Ray came out with a towel around his lean middle. “Glory.” He looked around, alarmed, like maybe he’d see a drained body on the floor. “Where’s—”
I held up my hand. “Don’t say her name. She’s alive. No broken bones. Which is a miracle, come to think of it.”
“Thanks.” Ray sat on the foot of the bed. “Guess this wasn’t such a hot idea.”
“Ya think?” I paced the carpet in front of him and saw his nostrils flare. I really didn’t have the right to say much of anything to him. Of course he smelled Blade on me and the evidence that I’d had recent sex. Lots of recent sex. And Ray had warned me not too long ago that he wasn’t into celibacy. Of course he wasn’t. He was a virile man in his prime. And a newly made vampire with the libido to match. Since I wasn’t going to scratch his itch, I’d known it was only a matter of time before he’d find someone who would.
“Well, go ahead. Ream me out. I didn’t
plan
this, but that’s no excuse.” Ray ran another towel over his wet hair.
“I was rough on her. Blame it on the shock factor. But you certainly have the right . . .” I sat beside him, biting back the snarky comments I wanted to make. Did he have to pick someone so
thin
? His bedmate couldn’t have been more different from me, even down to the dark hair and bikini wax. Oh, man, I so didn’t want to go there.
He slid his hand over mine and squeezed. “Forgive me? I’m a stupid jerk. We should have taken this somewhere else. I’m really sorry if you were embarrassed.”
I looked at him, all sincere apology and charm. I guess I’d always be attracted to him. He was handsome, built and had the kind of talent that sang to my soul if I let it. I’d been a fan even before he’d been tossed naked into my bed as a newly made vampire. The fact that now we were thrown together all the time had made it worse for a while, but I always went back to Blade in the end. So I knew it wasn’t fair to expect Ray to just hang around in case I decided to drop Blade and pick up someone else.
“Not embarrassed so much as surprised. I threw a temper fit. Like a fiancée would under the circumstances.”
“You didn’t hurt her?”
I managed a shrug. “Not this time.”
“Good. And there won’t be a next time. Not here, anyway. DeeDee and I have a history. We’re friends with benefits, I guess you could say. When we’re not with someone else, we hook up.” Ray dropped the hair towel into his lap.
“So how did you explain that you’re engaged, but you’re not ‘with’ someone?” I jumped up again. “Damn it, Ray, if this gets into the tabloids, I’ll look like a fool and you’ll look like a jerk.” The tabloids already thought Ray was crazy for hanging out with a woman who wasn’t model thin or famous in her own right. DeeDee was both. Damn. If I didn’t quit grinding my teeth, I was going to loosen a fang.
Of course the tabloids figured I was springing the baby trap. What irony. “Made” vamps like me can’t reproduce. Sigh.
“It won’t get out. I told her you and I were breaking things off right after the Grammys. That’s still what you plan, isn’t it?” Ray stood and faced me. He knew the answer and was probably counting on it being the same. He didn’t want this sham to go on any more than I did. He was grateful to me for mentoring him through his vamp adjustment period. Judging by what he’d just done, he was getting into the vampire groove now and wouldn’t need my help much longer.
Besides, any vampire who thinks he wants to be hooked up to the same person for eternity needs to get a clue. Call me heartless, but
I
sure never thought it was a good idea or I would have caved and said the vows with Blade a long time ago. Even soul mates need a break once in a while.
“Relax, Ray. You’re off the hook. After this awards show, when we get back to Austin, we’ll announce irreconcilable differences and you can openly date whoever.” I kicked off my high heels and sighed with relief. “You sure you can trust this lady? You did erase her memory, didn’t you? Because unless she’s anemic, I think the girl made a donation while she was satisfying your other urges.”
Ray grinned. “Hell, yes, I fed from her. That part was almost better than the sex, if you want to know the truth.”
I shook my head. Yep, Ray was definitely a full-fledged graduate vampire now. It was all about the blood. And when you got human blood and great sex at the same time? I sighed, remembering.
“Her memory, Ray.”
“Yeah, yeah, I wiped her memory and the fang marks. All she’ll remember is the great sex.” He lost his smile. “Damn it, she
did
look pale. I tried to take it easy but it had been a while since I’d had fresh and it was so fine . . .” He gave me a worried look. “I might have taken too much. Think she’ll be all right? Should I go up and check on her?”
“The way she ran out of here? I think she still had plenty of juice.” I worked up a grin, trying really hard to act like I didn’t give a damn. I turned away from him to pull off my earrings and drop them on the dresser. “Give her a call, though, if it’ll make you feel better.”
“Scared her, did you?” Ray got up and moved behind me to slide his arms around my waist. “Come on, Glory. Face facts. You’ve got Blade. I can smell him on you. And you have the look of a woman well loved. You’ve got to know it drives me crazy every time you come back after a night with him. I needed an outlet, you know? I was hurting.”
“I’m sorry, Ray. I guess I can’t blame you for wanting someone to, uh, take care of your needs.” I covered his hands with mine.
“And DeeDee’s all right. She won’t tell a soul. That’s why we hang out together. She’s got the same issues with the gossip rags that I’ve got. Her room is two floors up. It was easy for her to sneak down here.” He rested his chin on my shoulder.
“How convenient.” I heard myself go snarky and took a breath. Stupid. Ray could screw every woman in Los Angeles for all I cared. “I didn’t rip open her throat, but I put on a pretty scary show. Valdez too.” I turned to face Ray.
“I’ll just bet you did, vamp girl.” Ray bumped against me, his hands on the dresser on either side of me so that I was trapped, or not. My choice. “I’ve seen you in action against some serious bad guys, remember? A mere mortal female wouldn’t stand a chance.”
“Exactly. I was actually holding back, but your ‘friend’ might not see it that way. So you may have to do some fast talking to get her to give you another shot.” I smiled and caught a drop of water that slid down one of his lean cheeks. He was flaunting himself again, standing close in nothing but a towel. Ray was beautiful, from his broad shoulders to his narrow hips and everywhere in between. Thanks to a bitch who’d decided that turning him vampire would be the perfect payback for a man who’d loved playing in the sun, Ray would look like this forever—tanned, toned and 100 percent every woman’s fantasy.
I licked my lips, a reflex I immediately regretted when Ray grinned and bumped against me again. I glanced down at the invitation under the towel and felt a flush warm my cheeks.
“I like you jealous. It’s hot. And you’d better block your thoughts, Glory girl.” His sapphire eyes sparkled. “You’re looking like you want to take up where DeeDee left off.”
“Get over yourself, Caine. I was playing a part earlier. Outraged fiancée. Now that we’re alone, forget it.” I put my hand on his bare chest and gave him a gentle shove to give me some space. “I’ve been more than satisfied tonight. Maybe you’d better see if DeeDee will give you another chance, though I wouldn’t drink from her again. She needs some recovery time.” I yawned and stretched. “I feel the sunrise coming, though.”
“So do I and I don’t do quickies. I like to take my time.” He grinned, a wicked twinkle in his eyes. “I imagine I can talk DeeDee back into bed eventually. She and I have a really good time together. You and I could too if you just let me show you my moves.” He slid one finger along my collar-bone.
I smiled and grabbed his hand. “Give Blade some credit. I
am
a woman well loved.
Very
well loved.” I yawned again. “Now I’m going to throw on my gown and crawl into bed. Would you let in Valdez? I want to say something to him before I conk out.”
“Only to tell him to stay the hell in the living room during the day. He’s supposed to guard the door, but I think he climbs in right between us as soon as we close our eyes. I swear these pillows smell like dog when I wake up. I haven’t forgotten that he’s really a man, you know.” Ray walked over to the bedroom door.
“Hey, he’s protecting both of us. Something happens during the day? We’re golden. He’d die before he’d let harm come to either of us.” I had to admit, I’d thought V was staying in the living room. Weird if he was actually in the bed with us. I didn’t doubt that he could open and close doors, even in dog form. The shifter has some mad skills, not just shape-shifting either.
“Yeah, yeah. I get it. But he can do that job just as well outside the door as in.” Ray threw open the bedroom door. “Okay, dog breath. Come in. I want to go over the rules with you.”
“Listen, a-hole, you don’t make the rules. Glory does. And next time you want some nookie, take it upstairs. Glory doesn’t need to walk in on a scene like that, you hear me?”
Valdez growled as he walked by Ray’s knees.
“You’re right about that anyway. I wasn’t thinking.” Ray dropped his towel, grabbed a pair of silk boxers and stepped into them.
“Not with the brain in your head anyway.”
I left them bickering and headed for the bathroom where I’d hung my shapeless nightgown. I still had a queasy feeling in my stomach after realizing Ray had spent a night making love to another woman. And now I’d have to sleep on the same sheets. Yuck. And ouch. This was cruel and unusual. You know?
“My schedule’s pretty full, Glory. Who is this guy anyway?” Ray polished off a bottle of CrimsonCrush, our latest find in the synthetic blood brands, while I paced the living room.
I was embarrassed to admit it, but if Ian wanted to meet Ray, then I was going to have to drag my “fiancé” along. A call to the diet guru to set up the meeting had made it clear: no rocker, no interest in helping a Campbell’s woman. Damn.
“He’s a vampire who has a special product I need. I really want to do this, Ray, but he won’t deal with me unless he gets to meet you. He’s a big fan.” I glanced at my watch. I had a pretty full schedule too. First, I was meeting with designers who were making a dress for me to wear on the red carpet at the Grammys. I was nervous. This was a big deal and I wasn’t a size zero.
Ray’s publicist, Barry Donaldson, had arranged for me to be a guest judge for a segment on the design reality show
Designed to Kill
. The competitors would meet with me today to measure me and ask questions. All of this would be on camera, of course. If a vamp could dream, I would have been having nightmares about this. Imagine your measurements televised to millions. Somehow my waist, hip and thigh measurements were
not
going to be aired. Maybe there was a contract clause that Nathan could insist on. I looked around for Ray’s best friend and business manager and saw him coming out of his bedroom.
“Nate, please, I need your help.”
“Sure, Glory, but make it quick. I’ve got Grammy stuff to do tonight. They made an album of hits and Ray’s duet with Sienna Star was on it. It’s gone platinum and I want to make sure our cut of the money’s right on it.” Nathan was dressed in his usual Italian suit, silk tie and white shirt. Against his dark skin, it was a hot look and he usually had a beautiful woman on his arm. Oops, guess I got that right because here came one out of his bedroom, hopping on one foot while she stuck her other foot into a Louboutin pump. She grabbed Nathan’s arm to steady herself, kissed his cheek, then headed out without waiting to be introduced to the rest of us.
BOOK: Real Vampires Hate Their Thighs
7.93Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
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