Read Real Vampires Hate Their Thighs Online

Authors: Gerry Bartlett

Tags: #Horror & Ghost Stories

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BOOK: Real Vampires Hate Their Thighs
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“Yeah?”
Valdez glanced at me.
“That’s not your call, Caine. Glory, care to straighten him out?”
“Shut up, V. Right now you’re hanging on by a thread.” I wanted to get on with this. “Ian? Are we clear? This thing totally safe and on the up-and-up?”
“You saw the tape, Glory. And I could show you dozens more of my success stories if it would make you feel better. Even introduce you to some of the vampires. But it would delay things. Maybe a week or more to get them here. If you wish to wait . . .” Ian smiled and toyed with the credit card, acting like he could care less if we proceeded or not.
A week. The Grammys would be over and I’d be on my way back to Texas. I really, really wanted to look good on the red carpet. The event would be televised. Millions would be watching, including Jerry’s mum, who hates me and would be hoping I’d fall flat on my face. She cheered when Ray and I announced our fake engagement. Is still hoping I’ll marry Ray and leave her precious son alone.
How cool to lose enough weight to freak out those designers on that reality show. They’d come for the fittings and their dresses would positively bag on me. They’d argue about who’d measured wrong. It would make for great TV and I’d just stand there, looking skinny and perfectly innocent in my new size-six body. Would that be mean of me? Maybe I was tired of being good old Glory.
“I don’t want to wait. Let’s do this.” I looked at Ray and he winked.
“Fine. Follow me.” Ian gestured at the coffee table. “There are several excellent bottles of mortal juice there, Mr. Caine, if you wish to indulge. As I said, they’re clearly labeled for your enjoyment. I’ll be back shortly. Glory and Trina will join us when they’re done. This way, please, Glory.”
I trailed Ian, my stomach doing a dip and roll that made me wonder if I
could
drink from Trina and keep it down. Valdez sulked by my side. We stepped into an office painted pale gray with a wall of windows overlooking the ocean. A chrome and glass desk held a computer and a setup that Ian made use of as he punched in numbers. Running Ray’s card no doubt. His grin confirmed it. Well, that part was out of the way. I’d be sure we got a receipt. I just hoped I’d be able to pay the cost back before the turn of the
next
century.
Valdez stood, scowling, next to Trina, while Ian picked up a clipboard and led me to a doctor’s scale in one corner of the room.
“I’ll need your measurements too.”
Valdez snorted.
“Four times in one night. That’s some kind of record, Glory. Guess you’ve experienced your own personal hell tonight.”
“Yeah.” I made a face at the tape in Ian’s hand. “Reality show. Designers are making dresses for me to wear on the red carpet. Tonight they taped the first segment.”
Ian kept smiling as he reached around me to measure my waist. “Won’t they be surprised when they bring back those dresses and they’re too big?”
I laughed, totally stoked by the whole idea. “That’s exactly what I thought. They’ll be back in four days for a fitting. Think that’s enough time for them to see a difference?”
“You stick strictly to my program, the fast track, and I guarantee it.” Ian reached around me to measure my breasts. His eyes gleamed as he sent me a mental message that made me blink.
Whoa. So Ian was a little tired of bony babes in running shorts. I filed that away. I figured I could be on the miracle cure of the ages and still have plenty upstairs. I glanced at Trina and then remembered Sarah in the video. I didn’t want to end up flat-chested. And running shoes sure aren’t my idea of a fashion statement.
“You can stop the program when you reach your ideal weight and size. You know what that is?” Ian led me to the scale.
I had forgotten to block my thoughts. So Mr. Nosy knew just what I’d been thinking. I glanced at Trina and Valdez. They both were very interested in what Ian and I were up to.
“Of course. I’ve had centuries to think about it. I want to fit into size-six jeans. I want to have the top to match, but still have nice cleavage.” I flushed. Maybe that was too much information. Ian’s gaze had gone hot and it swept over me.
“Step on the scale, Glory. Have you weighed before?”
I kicked off my shoes. “Yes, and I know my number. So I’ll know if this scale is accurate.” I stopped short. “Damn. Maybe I should take off my jeans. I bet they’re adding at least three pounds.”
Ian grinned. “Go for it.”
Valdez was beside me in a shot and growled at Ian.
“Over my dead body.”
I looked down at him. “That can be arranged.”
Ian laughed. “Why don’t we agree that I’ll subtract three from whatever shows up on the scale?”
I could see Valdez wasn’t budging. “Fine. Back to the door, V. I mean it.” I watched until he was safely beside Trina again. “I guess we can’t skip this part.” I was avoiding the moment of truth. I knew my weight was too much for my five-foot-five-inch height. I’d studied the charts, read the articles, wailed about my fate for way too long.
“Not a chance.” Ian smiled sympathetically. “Get it over with. It will only get better. When you see the number get smaller, you’ll feel fantastic.”
“Yeah, right. You promise no one else sees this? You did say you were a doctor with all that doctor-patient-confidentiality thing going on.”
“Yes, yes, of course.” Ian took my hand to help me step on the scale.
I whipped around. “Valdez, turn around. Face the door. I mean it. I don’t want you even
looking
in this direction. Ian isn’t going to hurt me. I’ll yell if I need you.”
“I don’t like this.”
Valdez gave Ian one more growl and then did turn around, his tail going up to shoot a furry finger at the MacDonald.
“You too, Trina. This is none of your business.”
“Oh, for God’s sake.” Trina looked like she wanted to say more, but a hard look from her “master” got her skinny butt moving and she faced the door in short order.
“Okay, let’s do this.” I stepped on the scale, wincing as Ian slid the metal weights up until he was satisfied. “Wait!” I blew out air, like that might make a pound difference.
Ian laughed and wrote down the number I knew too well. “Relax, Glory. You’re overreacting. I’ve worked with vampires who had a lot more to lose than you have. By this time next week, you’ll be in a size six or I’ll give Caine his money back.”
“Oh, my God!” I flung myself off the scale and into Ian’s arms. Can you blame me? I’d just had a man promise me the moon. “That would be so incredible.”
“Yeah, incredible.”
Valdez was right beside me again.
“Let her go, MacDonald.”
“Get back to the door!” I screeched, lunging to slide the weights back to zero. “Damn it, V, I told you to stay there.”
“And, for the record,
she
was holding
me
, not the other way around.” Ian laid his clipboard facedown and smiled at me. “Now, I’d better get back to Caine with a receipt for this. Glory, drink from Trina as soon as possible. The effects of her run will be wearing off in a few minutes. You don’t want that to happen, do you?”
“No, of course not.” I followed Ian to the door. I still felt funny drinking from a mortal, but if this is what it would take, and she
seemed
willing enough, I’d do it. I ignored Valdez’s disapproving look. “Where . . . ?”
“Come with me. Guess the dog comes too. He doesn’t seem to want you out of his sight.” Trina gave Valdez a disdainful look. “Wise of you, mutt. I have a black belt.”
“What? Gucci?”
Valdez snarled and showed his impressive canines.
“You want to try me?” Trina struck a pose.
“Trina, get a clue. Valdez would be snacking on your foot before you got off kick one.” I followed Trina into a bedroom. Oh, this was so not happening on a bed. “V? Sit outside the door. She’s just a mortal. If I need you, I’ll yell. You’ll hear me and knock down the door. Think what fun that will be. Then you can tear Trina apart with my blessing.”
“Fine. I’ll be waiting. Eagerly.”
Valdez plopped down on the Oriental rug in the hallway.
“And keep in mind that locks won’t keep me out. I live to destroy—anyone who hurts my lady.”
“Ooh, see me tremble.” Trina shook her hands in the air.
I sent Valdez a message that said I agreed that Trina was an idiot and that I’d hurry, then slammed the door. There was a chair in the corner of the room next to a window with yet another breathtaking view of the ocean. No telling how many millions this house cost. Slimming down vampires obviously paid really well. The thought dampened my appetite. Then I saw Trina’s open closet door. Size-zero jeans hung there. Zero. I’d never even bothered to dream about such a thing.
“Sit in the chair. Hand me your wrist.” I pulled up a matching ottoman and sat on it.
“What? Not going to do a little more? Most of Ian’s female vamps like turning this into fun and games.” Trina touched my hair. “You’re prettier than some clients. And you managed to get a man like Israel Caine to propose to you. I’m, um, intrigued.” She slid her hand down to my shoulder. “Come on, Glory. At least take me at the neck. It’s so much more intimate.”
I breathed in a jolt of good-quality B positive. Then I shook my head. “I don’t want to be intimate with you, Trina. I save that for the men I love. This is a business transaction, nothing more. And I really hate taking advantage of you this way. I meant it when I said I don’t normally drink from mortals.”
“I don’t appeal to you at all?” Trina brushed against me, her nipples hard against my arm. “Don’t tell me that in the hundreds of years you’ve been alive you’ve never experimented ...”
I glanced at the door, sure Valdez was getting an earful with his supersonic hearing. “I’m not telling you anything.” I pulled her wrist to my lips and hit the vein. The instant the rich blood filled my mouth, I was all about the feeding. I heard Trina moan, apparently enjoying the sensation. She even tried to reach for me again, but I didn’t give a damn.
I was high on the taste and heat of the mortality surging into my body. It was so warm, made me feel so alive. It’s the only time I really felt that way. And I’d missed it. Denied myself the pleasure. And this time . . . Maybe Ian had something here. Because this experience . . . The energy was exhilarating, beyond anything I’d ever felt before during feeding. This was wow! Only the realization that Trina’s hand had crept onto my bra snapped me out of it.
I released her and reared back, plucking away that hand and jumping to my feet. My whole body quivered. Oh, God. I leaned over to make the room stop spinning. This feeling. Like
I’d
run twenty miles, was still running. My heart pounded and my legs ached. What a great feeling.
I struggled to catch my breath, my hands on my knees as I glanced up and saw the ocean. One of Ian’s surfers caught a wave and rode it in. My adrenaline rush had to be similar. I was soaring.
“Glory.” Trina stood behind me, her warm hand on my back. “Are you okay? Do I need to get Ian?” She rubbed my shoulders, even leaned on me for a moment, her breath hot as she kissed the back of my head. “That was incredible. Please come to me again.”
“I . . . I’m fine. Give me a moment.” I finally straightened and stepped away from her. “Thank you. For the donation. For a mortal, you seem awfully at ease with our wacko world.”
“I’ve always been into the paranormal. I just knew that things like vampires had to be real.” Her eyes were shining, but her face was pale and she suddenly sat down on the foot of the bed. “I’m hoping to become one of you. If I please the master . . . You’ll tell him, won’t you? That I served you well?” She put out a shaky hand.
“Sure, you were fantastic. Best feeding ever.” Oh, great. Now I had a serious case of the guilts. Had I taken too much? I stepped closer to her, touched her cheek to see if she was too cold, which would be a bad sign. She grabbed my hand and sighed.
“I want to please you again, Glory.”
Thank God, she was warm and I carefully extricated myself, relieved when she stood. I put up a hand when it looked like she was going to hug me.
“Let’s go. Ray’s waiting. And Valdez, of course. Stay behind me. And, for God’s sake, don’t touch me in front of either of them. They wouldn’t take it well.”
Trina giggled. “Neither would Ian. Men. What do they know about pleasure? Next time, maybe . . . ?”
I shook my head but that didn’t seem to faze her. I headed for the door. When I opened it, Valdez gave me a narrow-eyed look, like he was inspecting me for signs of debauchery. I just strutted past him. Because, boy, did I feel amazing. And, would you believe, lighter somehow. Seriously, I thought my jeans were already looser. Probably my imagination, but I was so going to find a scale when we got back to the hotel.
Ray and Ian were drinking from bottles of his “juice” when Trina and I got back to the living room. They jumped up when they saw us.
“You okay, Glory? You look . . . jazzed.”
“I feel that way.” I turned to Ian. “I don’t know about weight loss, but the effects of feeding from her . . .”
“Quite a rush, isn’t it?” Ian slung his arm around Trina. “She’ll be here for you tomorrow. You must come every night around midnight. I’ll make sure she’s ready. There will be other things you’ll have to do too. Not just this. I’ll explain them tomorrow. For now, I have two bottles of other special products for you to take with you. Drink one before you sleep and one when you rise tomorrow. They’re clearly marked. This is very important, Glory, if you want the effects of your feedings from Trina to last.”
“Babe, we’ve got to go.” Ray glanced at his watch. “I’ve got rehearsal and I’m not leaving you here.”
“Right. I guess that means shifting again.” I hated the thought but felt pumped enough that I figured I could do it easily.
“No need. I have a limo waiting to take you to the venue where Caine told me he’s rehearsing, then it will take you on to the hotel, Glory. I hope that’s satisfactory.”
BOOK: Real Vampires Hate Their Thighs
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